Proving you need to shop in pairs

[Comefromaway]

Was just wondered by if there was anything father in law could print out or carry to say that he needs to go to the supermarket with mother in law.

Just to save him the distress of having to explain each time. Plus mil gets very aggressive if she hears him talking about her as she is in complete denial of her condition (Alzheimer’s)

Don’t really want to ask the dr as it’s hard enough to get an appointment as it is.

Disability is defined (in the Equality Act) as "A physical or mental impairment that has a ‘substantial’ and ‘long-term’ negative effect on a person’s ability to do normal daily activities.”

I think OP would be more aware of the extent of her in laws needs than you are. Why exactly do you think you are entitled to decide that someone (who is complying with the law) "ought not to shop" or go out of their house? Don't you realise how are you coming across - it's so high handed and judgemental.

This is not your decision. OP didn't ask for your opinion or judgment on her decisions - she asked for advice on how to show an exemption to someone.

Also, I'm not sure what your point about their situation "getting worse not better" is or how it is relevant? Btw, my disability will get worse rather than better - hence why I would like to "enjoy" my life as much as I can and go and choose my own bread or cheese or soap, or whatever, without people like you telling me I "ought not to shop"? I think OP and her relatives wouldn't care for your judgement either.

This thread though has actually been quite helpful in clarifying my thoughts on the situation (sorry @Comefromaway that sounds very insensitive, I hope you know what I mean and that it's been helpful for you too) If anyone in RL supermarket queues wants to share with me their judgement on my perfectly legal behaviour, I will ask them who the fuck they think they are. So I would bear that in mind if you feel the need to judge people in public @JinglingHellsBells, unless of course you wouldn't do that and you save your judgments for people online and not face to face....

I hope we haven't derailed your thread too much OP (I won't engage in any more personal discussion!) and I hope things get easier for you all.

[quote JinglingHellsBells]@Fuckmuppet I am sorry for your own health issues BUT dementia is not classed as a disability per se in that sense, nor is diabetes. You are conflating two very different scenarios and that isn't fair.

If you want to read my post and advice as disability 'bashing' that it 100% incorrect and these elderly PIL are in no way like you.

They need support because the situation is not going to improve, is it?

Dementia gets worse, not better.

I am struggling to grasp why a woman in her 60s with dementia does not have a care plan sorted, so that either her H can go out alone and have some space, or they can be provided for by SS or some volunteers/ befrienders from Age UK.

Most areas now have local support groups- often via Facebook- for the elderly who will bring shopping or collect essential items.

I'm sorry that you feel my post was also aimed at you but it wasn't. These are older people, in ill health, with recognised risk conditions re Covid , and they ought not to shop if at all possible.

Wearing a sign of some sort to allow them to shop together, is not going to deter the virus, is it?

I'd just hope that the extended family of @Comefromaway PIL will sort something out to help the FIL's mental health as he is the one who needs support as well as his wife.

Help is out there- use it.[/quote]
Fuck sake, I forgot to quote what I was responding to, apologies for any confusion!

@Comefromaway sorry if I’m repeating someone but i read about a face mask exemption card today and thought of you

It may just help to explain why he’s shopping in a pair you could add under it that they need to shop together

@ChronicallyCurious

Sorry to jump on the thread but I was just wondering if you guys would think a blue badge would be adequate to show supermarkets? I can’t go shopping alone and all my local have announced this rule, I have a blue badge but don’t look disabled. Do you think they’d let a carer in with me if I show this?

If you get someone officious, it will probably help, but presumably you need to leave it in the car?

If someone tries to stop you, you say "he/she is my carer" and if they get funny, just say "we are parked in the blue badge spaces" and move on. You don't have to explain yourself. I am completely anti the family outings and joined at the hip couples, but if someone says they're with their carer that's the end of the story for me. Blue badge holder even more so, they don't give them away.

We wouldn't even have all this nonsense if people were not so entitled - both about this and masks.

Wear a mask and shop alone unless you have a very good reason not to. Is it really that hard? Clearly it is.

@puffinkoala

We wouldn't even have all this nonsense if people were not so entitled - both about this and masks.

Wear a mask and shop alone unless you have a very good reason not to. Is it really that hard? Clearly it is.

Have you actually read the fucking thread or even the OP? They are not being entitled, and there is a bloody good reason why they both need to be there, but just continue to stick the boot in with a totally irrelevant point.

@puffinkoala

We wouldn't even have all this nonsense if people were not so entitled - both about this and masks.

Wear a mask and shop alone unless you have a very good reason not to. Is it really that hard? Clearly it is.

Please read the OP before assuming someone is entitled. It’s because of people like you the op is having these issues!

Have you looked at these?

www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-and-factsheets/helpcards#:~:text=Helpcards%20are%20for%20people%20with,and%20are%20free%20to%20order.

Actually I read puffin's post as we wouldn't have to have threads like these if other people didn't take the piss so much - not as a dig at the OP? Her posts clearly explain her relative that does have "a very good reason" surely.

Maybe I'm too generous in thinking the best of people

@puffinkoala

We wouldn't even have all this nonsense if people were not so entitled - both about this and masks.

Wear a mask and shop alone unless you have a very good reason not to. Is it really that hard? Clearly it is.

Wondering what you classify as a really GOOD reason?

Because if that involves anyone with some disability to just be locked away for months, if not years (remember we are already nearly a year in...), then maybe you need to review your stand.

Fwiw I cant quite understand all this frothing about shopping alone etc....

So far we know that about 90% of people follow the rules. That's a hell of a lot of people. So why the need to put even more pressure on the few that actually struggle to follow EVERY ne of them to the letter (like shopping alone??). Sounds to me like a clear will to move responsibility away from the government and their (alwats too late) decisions towards each individul (so much easier when yiu can deflect the blame).

The other area where rules are not followed well is self isolation. And this is particularly true in the poorest areas. Oh what a surprise! Basically people n zero hour contract or with unstable jobs are doing their best to have some money coming in. And they don't when SSP is minimumal, let alone when they have to 'just' sef isolate. Maybe looking att estructural issues there would be a better bet? Like proper compensation if you need to self isolate or you are ill?

So why are we concentrating on the 'shopping alone'? Ha yes, the government told us to do so!!