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Original poster

Proving you need to shop in pairs

137 replies

Comefromaway · 13/01/2021 08:22

Was just wondered by if there was anything father in law could print out or carry to say that he needs to go to the supermarket with mother in law.

Just to save him the distress of having to explain each time. Plus mil gets very aggressive if she hears him talking about her as she is in complete denial of her condition (Alzheimer’s)

Don’t really want to ask the dr as it’s hard enough to get an appointment as it is.

OP posts:
Original poster
Comefromaway · 13/01/2021 10:28

We've got a laminator at work so I will laminate it.

OP posts:
bobbojobbo · 13/01/2021 10:29

all it takes is one power hungry jobsworth on the door

Otherwise known as the poor bastard doing one of the shittiest jobs around, probably for minimum wage, and only doing exactly as they have been instructed to do.

Lets not be dicks to people doing much crappier jobs than we have, and having to put up wiht constant abuse for it, ok?

murbblurb · 13/01/2021 10:31

I tend to assume that this is the case when I see older couples together. It's the young ones without masks and taking time for a quick snog in the aisle (yes I did see this!) that piss me off. Or the chin strap or nose hanging out brigade. If you are wearing a mask, wear it properly.

a visor doesn't do a lot but is better than nothing, and at least shows people are trying.

and yes, don't whinge or bitch at people doing their jobs. Grow the fuck up, you're not in the playground now.

AcornAutumn · 13/01/2021 10:32

OP "It's bad enough getting a mask on her."

Don't make the poor woman wear a mask. Wouldn't it be easier to use a lanyard or clip a badge to her coat?

Original poster
Comefromaway · 13/01/2021 10:36

Now that the schools are closed we are more comfortable in helping them more. Before Christmas dh was teaching in a school that was riddled with covid, staff and students dropping like flies, so naturally, we kept away as much as possible. He got symptoms but tested negative and luckily his school closed two weeks before christmas so it gave him a clear run of being away from there so we could have them round for christmas.

OP posts:
Purplethrow · 13/01/2021 10:40

I would just get a piece of paper, write Alzheimers on it and flash that at anyone who asks.
Although I’m sure supermarket staff will use their common sense when seeing elderly people together and make the not too difficult assumption that there is a good reason for them both being there.

GlobeUs · 13/01/2021 10:45

@Comefromaway I am glad you have been offered an awesome solution to this. I was just going to say as well that it may be worth printing and laminating a couple of spares as well in case one gets lost.

Calmandmeasured1 · 13/01/2021 10:46

Put some NHS / Gov Logo in the corner & print off in calibri font so it looks to MIL that it is an official letter if she catches sight of it.
FFS, don't do that.

Orf1abc · 13/01/2021 10:51

I would imagine your in laws look quite vulnerable when out shopping so it’s awful to think that they are being challenged.

That's not how hidden disabilities work. People with dementia, autism, mental health conditions, can all look 'normal' and smiling and happy.

We need to stop making assumptions about other people. If you accept that most people are doing their best, then that stops all the judgment and division this situation is causing.

QueenOfLabradors · 13/01/2021 10:53

@murbblurb

I tend to assume that this is the case when I see older couples together. It's the young ones without masks and taking time for a quick snog in the aisle (yes I did see this!) that piss me off. Or the chin strap or nose hanging out brigade. If you are wearing a mask, wear it properly.

a visor doesn't do a lot but is better than nothing, and at least shows people are trying.

and yes, don't whinge or bitch at people doing their jobs. Grow the fuck up, you're not in the playground now.

Were you in a branch of Tesco in a market town in south west England on Sunday too!? He was wearing a sunflower lanyard, but she wasn't - and I refuse to believe that two people who are clearly in a physical relationship both happen to be part of the very small number of people who really cannot wear a face covering.
Brefugee · 13/01/2021 10:53

Our Waitrose is like God's waiting room at times - masses of old people out here

jeez the fucking ageism on this site is tedious

Original poster
Comefromaway · 13/01/2021 10:53

Father in law looks frailer than she does as he walks with a stick and has more physical conditions. Mil is younger (the dementia started when she was only about 60) and is physically in excellent health apart from diabetes.

OP posts:
Original poster
Comefromaway · 13/01/2021 10:56

Were you in a branch of Tesco in a market town in south west England on Sunday too!? He was wearing a sunflower lanyard, but she wasn't - and I refuse to believe that two people who are clearly in a physical relationship both happen to be part of the very small number of people who really cannot wear a face covering.

I have two children who are autistic and family members joke that they think dh and I are too.

I tend to find with ds and dd that they veer towards friends etc who are also on the spectrum so it is possible. (ds is able to wear a face covering but it has to be only one specific kind, the proper medical masks, cheaper versions feel wrong)

OP posts:
charliespie · 13/01/2021 10:58

Otherwise known as the poor bastard doing one of the shittiest jobs around, probably for minimum wage, and only doing exactly as they have been instructed to do.

No: you misunderstand. I wasn't taking about all of the people on supermarket doors. Just the cunty ones.

Lets not be dicks to people doing much crappier jobs than we have, and having to put up wiht constant abuse for it, ok?

I'm not being a dick to anyone other than those who I describes as 'power hungry jobsworths', let's not pretend they don't exist.

I'm not suggesting for a minute I have a better job than anyone either.

SomeFucker · 13/01/2021 11:01

That's not how hidden disabilities work. People with dementia, autism, mental health conditions, can all look 'normal' and smiling and happy.

🙄 Seriously? I wasn’t judging. An elderly couple, one who can’t be left alone, one looking after the other, will most likely look vulnerable. But whatever, if you want to make out I’m judging then whatever. The other conditions you mention are more common in younger people so of course those people can not be harder to spot.

Anyway OP, it sounds like you’ve found a solution that works so I hope things improve.

Catty1720 · 13/01/2021 11:01

I work in a supermarket as does DP and neither of us would question this it’s obvious some people need to shop together.
I’m sorry you need to justify this. The Garland is you best bet.

bobbojobbo · 13/01/2021 11:04

I'm not suggesting for a minute I have a better job than anyone either

I imagine you don't, the way you talk about other people doing theirs. Disgusting.

charliespie · 13/01/2021 11:06

I imagine you don't, the way you talk about other people doing theirs. Disgusting.

Stop denying people like this exist. They absolutely do. Jobsworths exist in all industries.

You could stop making out I said everyone in retail is like this too, that would be a real help.

JinglingHellsBells · 13/01/2021 11:07

@Comefromaway Is there really no way that you can't organise an online delivery for them- or someone in the family could?

Elderly people are so much more at risk of catching the new variant form and IMO they should try not to shop in a supermarket at all.

I've been ordering online for my very elderly mum since March. I live 300 miles away. She's in good health but is very old and it's not safe for her to go shopping.

Catty1720 · 13/01/2021 11:11

Makes me quite sad to read that people consider my job as crappy 😕
I really hope that elderly couple got their cereal I would never ever dream of approaching two people shopping whatever the age. It’s more big groups.

SomeFucker · 13/01/2021 11:14

*can be harder

bobbojobbo · 13/01/2021 11:14

Stop denying people like this exist. They absolutely do. Jobsworths exist in all industries

I don't agree, I think its an insulting word people like to use at others who are doing their jobs, because they don't like the job they are doing.
That's how you used it.

charliespie · 13/01/2021 11:15

Makes me quite sad to read that people consider my job as crappy 😕

Just to clarify, I definitely do not.

Original poster
Comefromaway · 13/01/2021 11:16

[quote JinglingHellsBells]@Comefromaway Is there really no way that you can't organise an online delivery for them- or someone in the family could?

Elderly people are so much more at risk of catching the new variant form and IMO they should try not to shop in a supermarket at all.

I've been ordering online for my very elderly mum since March. I live 300 miles away. She's in good health but is very old and it's not safe for her to go shopping.[/quote]
Apart from the dementia and fil's pancreatitis they are not actually that old.

Not being able to go out during the March-August lockdown led to a bit deterioration in both their mental and physical health until it got to crisis point.

OP posts:
Catty1720 · 13/01/2021 11:17

@charliespie thank you I really should say SOME people sorry