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Original poster

The amount of posters who want support bubbles banned is shocking...

246 replies

ToHellinahandbasket · 10/01/2021 23:36

And quite frankly appalling.
Is it just me seeing a lot of this?
The many threads about further restrictions seem to all be posters suggesting things that don’t affect them and insisting those be the things that should go.
It’s a real eye opener.

I benefit from a support bubble as my son was under one on the 2nd December. I had PND and was already suffering from anxiety due to a previous TFMR which developed into quite bad health anxiety. Without my support bubble I don’t know what would have happened tbh, and I’m still not back to normal now so I dread to think how it will be if they do take them away.

I don’t get takeaway coffee but I’m not shouting from the rooftops for it to be banned. I don’t meet a friend for a socially distanced walk, but I’m not shouting about that either.

There just seems to be a very narrow minded view at the moment, I don’t know if it’s just on here, where people are airily dismissing things without a thought for how it can affect other people or their mental health or situations.

I feel like people bandied together a bit to begin with and now it’s flipped completely. It’s eye opening and seriously depressing.

Is it just on mumsnet do you think? I don’t know what I’m hoping to achieve by posting this tbh I just feel really unsettled by some of the attitudes I’ve seen on here tonight and some of the things I’ve read

I know people are allowed their own opinions, of course and that’s what is great about an online forum, but there seems to be a definite lean one way of late. I even saw a few posters proclaiming we should get the army on the streets to “manage” people and ensure that people don’t break the rules if support bubbles are stopped.

There doesn’t seem to be much compassion left :(

OP posts:
HarrietteNightingale · 11/01/2021 13:46

There are many other measures that could be tried first before cutting single desperately lonely people off from human contact. Perhaps you could volunteer to isolate from your own household, if you live with others? That would stop you spreading it to them, and them to you? Or wear masks at all times in your house? We're all in it together, aren't we? The country would appreciate your sacrifice.

RichardMarxisinnocent · 11/01/2021 13:52

@Handcarthell

For a short period of time I think this is necessary, yes.

They could be reinstated at a later date, but atm desperate times need desperate measures.

And how short is the period of time you propose? I could possibly do 2 weeks but would massively struggle to cope with any longer. Plenty of people couldn't do as long as2 weeks.

Do you have any experience yourself of living alone during a pandemic, unable to see any family and most friends because they live too far away to be able to meet them for exercise? I didn't have any contact with anyone other than the supermarket cashier for weeks in lockdown 1 (was wfh) ,then had a period of being able to meet outdoors but no hugs. It nearly broke me. June 13th when I was finally hugged for the first time since 22nd March was the best day of last year. But you go ahead and insist on suspending support bubbles, let all of us who rely on one just break mentally, we obviously don't matter.

Handcarthell · 11/01/2021 14:00

A couple of weeks would help the general situation.

Yes I do have experience of it. I haven't set eyes on my children (adults) since October and whenever it was household mixing was banned (November?). I would have seen one on Christmas Day but unfortunately a positive test prevented it.

I know it's hard.

AlphaJura · 11/01/2021 14:01

This might not be a popular idea but maybe they might have to make a system where you have to officially 'register' your bubble and who's in it and they can check you are entitled and meee the requirements to have one. I understand they are vital to many people who genuinely need them, but it is true that since that system
Was brought in, more people started mixing in other households under the banner of 'bubbles' but the reality was they
we're mixing with multiple different bubbles and that's not really the idea.

RichardMarxisinnocent · 11/01/2021 14:06

@Handcarthell

A couple of weeks would help the general situation.

Yes I do have experience of it. I haven't set eyes on my children (adults) since October and whenever it was household mixing was banned (November?). I would have seen one on Christmas Day but unfortunately a positive test prevented it.

I know it's hard.

And you also live alone? I haven't seen 3 of my closest friends since 2019. I was due to see them in mid March but we did the sensible thing and cancelled because we didn't want to inadvertently spread COVID. I last saw my dad at Christmas 2019. I'll never see him again because he died suddenly (not COVID) in November.
Handcarthell · 11/01/2021 14:08

I'm sorry for your loss. I too am bereaved and it's awful.

I'm not having a slanging match about who is in the worst situation. I just want it over as much as the next person.

movingonup20 · 11/01/2021 14:08

Support may be vital but people are abusing them - they have multiple bubbles and are a front for socialising. Kept for care and mental health they are needed

MarshaBradyo · 11/01/2021 14:09

People need support and should not be left alone

Just listening to radio atm there’s no intention to remove them

HarrietteNightingale · 11/01/2021 14:12

I'm sorry for your loss. I too am bereaved and it's awful.

Me too. I can't be alone at the moment. I need to see my DP.

LivingMyBestLife2020 · 11/01/2021 14:13

I wouldn’t cope without mine. I’m a single parent to a toddler. I have bubbled with another single friend with a 6 year old. Without them I don’t know what I would do. We meet twice a week for the kids to burn of steam and we put the world to rights.

I know some abuse it. My sons dad is just one of these people and it’s massively frustrating. He lives with 2 other adults. He works daily in a two man team in close proximity (different people each day) he’s still out meeting people and dating, has “bubbled” with 2 other families and is just generally doing as he pleases as he believes covid is a conspiracy 🙄

RichardMarxisinnocent · 11/01/2021 14:13

@HarrietteNightingale

I'm sorry for your loss. I too am bereaved and it's awful.

Me too. I can't be alone at the moment. I need to see my DP.

Sorry for your losses. I want it to be over too, but I don't want to break.
Handcarthell · 11/01/2021 14:14

Nobody should be alone. Support bubbles are certainly needed. But they are being abused and imo need cutting down considerably.

bloodywhitecat · 11/01/2021 14:19

@Handcarthell

For a short period of time I think this is necessary, yes.

They could be reinstated at a later date, but atm desperate times need desperate measures.

My partner has cancer, he needs chemo, I can't take the baby to the hospital when he goes for chemo so my DD stays the night and babysits while we go to the hospital. No chemo means he dies even sooner (and his death will be COVID related but never recorded as that). Would his death be OK because somehow it is not as important as COVID 19?
HarrietteNightingale · 11/01/2021 14:21

Much of it is about communications. A lot of things are being called bubbles, some of which allow you to consider the person or other household as an extension of your household in every sense, visit them inside, hug them, spend time together.

There are childcare bubbles which are supposed to be that the children only are mixing with the bubble people. And there are lots of random things where people can mix a bit with some restrictions, and informally refer to it as a bubble (school/class/work/exercise). The media and government don't help.

People are breaking the rules both deliberately and because they don't understand them. I would happily register my support bubble as it is the only one I have. Then if asked where I was going both DP and I would verify this.

Billi77 · 11/01/2021 14:25

I don’t understand why we are not registering support bubbles. Saying that as a lone parent of an only reception age DD. Without our childcare bubble I would probably need to register DD as vulnerable and send her to school, which I really do not want to do. I probably wouldn’t get a place as families with 2 parents and incomes, where one is a kw, are way higher up the list than us.
It is precisely this kind of piss taking that’s making people who really do need the help suffer. And spreading the virus and lengthening lockdown.
What a shit show.

Handcarthell · 11/01/2021 14:25

Bloodywildcat

Obviously that's exceptional circumstances and no one would be callous enough to say otherwise.

I know from your previous posts your situation is dire and you need support, and I am sorry for this.

HarrietOh · 11/01/2021 14:27

@Handcarthell

A couple of weeks would help the general situation.

Yes I do have experience of it. I haven't set eyes on my children (adults) since October and whenever it was household mixing was banned (November?). I would have seen one on Christmas Day but unfortunately a positive test prevented it.

I know it's hard.

So you’re completely alone at the moment?

How will me who lives alone and WFH, not seeing my DP who also lives alone and WFH, help reduce the risk? Apart from making us absolutely utterly miserable having no other human contact at all Hmm

TonMoulin · 11/01/2021 14:28

I like the idea of registering the bubbles @Billi77

I also think there should be some limits in number to them rather than just doing wo it altogether

bloodywhitecat · 11/01/2021 14:34

@Handcarthell

Bloodywildcat

Obviously that's exceptional circumstances and no one would be callous enough to say otherwise.

I know from your previous posts your situation is dire and you need support, and I am sorry for this.

But that's the trouble with a blanket ban isn't it? The genuine will be affected while the reckless will just carry on regardless.
Handcarthell · 11/01/2021 14:39

Yes, sadly that's true.

Same as make an allowance and while some will stick to it and use their common sense, many will abuse it and ruin it for everyone.

XenoBitch · 11/01/2021 14:51

I would have no problem with registering my support bubble, but what what would it achieve? The people that wrongly have multiple bubbles will still have them. Who will police it?

Also, when support bubbles were introduced, up until December time you could not change them. Now you can. Guidelines say you should wait 10 days between changing them (and seeing your new one). So, you could be changing them all the time anyway. Would be a nightmare registering etc.

With childcare bubbles... a few people have suggested them being merged with support bubbles so you have one or the other, not both. Some people in support bubbles might not be physically able to care for children (think people in a bubble with their elderly nan). So I am not sure that will work either.

In any case, if they remove them entirely then I will simply ignore it.

MercyBooth · 11/01/2021 14:56

For a short period of time I think this is necessary, yes

Ah yes. I can hear it now. "We need to suspend the support bubbles for three weeks to flatten the curve"
Three weeks go by. Then just another month, just another two weeks, etc.

Someone mentioned care has always been allowed. Yes it has. But the support bubbles for carers that came in on 2nd Dec were for the CARER to get a break. So i go to my parents house..............oh wait after not being able to get treatment for her ailments for the past five years and her problems becoming worse last summer, now DM needs more help too. Actions have consequences.

Busygoingblah · 11/01/2021 15:19

@Handcarthell

For a short period of time I think this is necessary, yes.

They could be reinstated at a later date, but atm desperate times need desperate measures.

Let me guess. You life with other people have have no clue who scary and isolating it is to be living alone. How would you feel if it was made illegal for you to hug or have face to face conversation with literally anyone? What you’re suggesting is dehumanising.
HarrietOh · 11/01/2021 15:34

It’s always the people who don’t live alone who think support bubbles should be stopped.

Handcarthell · 11/01/2021 15:35

If you read my original post you'll see that I said single adult households should have support bubbles.