The amount of posters who want support bubbles banned is shocking...

[ToHellinahandbasket]

And quite frankly appalling.
Is it just me seeing a lot of this?
The many threads about further restrictions seem to all be posters suggesting things that don’t affect them and insisting those be the things that should go.
It’s a real eye opener.

I benefit from a support bubble as my son was under one on the 2nd December. I had PND and was already suffering from anxiety due to a previous TFMR which developed into quite bad health anxiety. Without my support bubble I don’t know what would have happened tbh, and I’m still not back to normal now so I dread to think how it will be if they do take them away.

I don’t get takeaway coffee but I’m not shouting from the rooftops for it to be banned. I don’t meet a friend for a socially distanced walk, but I’m not shouting about that either.

There just seems to be a very narrow minded view at the moment, I don’t know if it’s just on here, where people are airily dismissing things without a thought for how it can affect other people or their mental health or situations.

I feel like people bandied together a bit to begin with and now it’s flipped completely. It’s eye opening and seriously depressing.

Is it just on mumsnet do you think? I don’t know what I’m hoping to achieve by posting this tbh I just feel really unsettled by some of the attitudes I’ve seen on here tonight and some of the things I’ve read

I know people are allowed their own opinions, of course and that’s what is great about an online forum, but there seems to be a definite lean one way of late. I even saw a few posters proclaiming we should get the army on the streets to “manage” people and ensure that people don’t break the rules if support bubbles are stopped.

There doesn’t seem to be much compassion left :(

@Loncan

I’ll back up *@cyclingmad* and say that as a single person living alone, lockdown has been pretty rough. My immediate family lives on the other side of the Atlantic, and I’ve been unable to form a bubble with anyone here, due to distance or because they’re already in bubbles with their own family/childcare etc.

I had absolutely no physical human contact for 6 months, and it looks like it will now be several months again. The only way I see people is through Zoom or FaceTime, and that gets old real quick. I absolutely don’t begrudge doing my part to keep people safe, but spending over a year alone, without even hugging people for months on end, missing out on the opportunity to try and find a partner, while watching my fertility decrease, has really taken a toll on me, as I imagine it has for a lot of single people.

Absolutely there are people taking the piss out of support bubbles, but surely there must be a way to mitigate that without banning them for people who really need them. Because no one deserves to feel like this, when there are alternatives.

I wouldn't bother we are the hidden ones in a this and like anyone cares. Whiskt they still whither on about their poor children.

I'm at an age where I don't have any fertility years left either and its extremely difficult to meet a partner under circumstances

Now they are talking of together restrictions and removing support bubbles all together and whilst I probably shouldn't but ill be a tiny bit happy that now other people start to feel the consequences themselves

[quote tootyfruitypickle]@frustrationcentral. But we can only choose one support bubble. Just like others have chosen one partner.[/quote]
Oh yeah totally agree! But I can see why some people feel a bit miffed about it, If they're having relationship issues or don't have a supportive partner or whatever. I feel lucky to have a DH I get on well with and two not young children so I'm not short of company - although they're all male, so I jumped at the chance to walk with a girl last summer .
Must be tough to be on your own or living with someone who's hard work

Having a support bubble saved my life last year, probably the same for a lot of people. I don’t abuse the bubble system, and quite literally things would be no different contact wise if my bubble person and I lived together, which for many reasons we cannot do.

If bubbles are banned then I face two choices, a decline in mental health to a dangerous level, or break the law and actually have a reason to continue.

Apparently some people thrive alone, without adult to adult human contact or face to face conversation. Others do not. How many ‘ban the bubble’ comments are from people who are, by and large, living happily with another adult and haven’t experienced the loneliness of surviving a pandemic as the only adult in a household (while at the same holding it together for the sake of their kids).

It seems COVID levels matter, suicide levels do not.

Maybe I'm on different threads but I'm not seeing support to collapse support bubbles. Are we seeing an increase in suicide rates? I see this said a lot but the last time I saw concrete figures for the year the number of suicides were comparative with the previous year.

There was a thread about this recently, about people using bubbles as an excuse to not obey the lockdown / social distance and I’m not sure it IS the case that people think those who genuinely need support should have that taken from them. I hope people don’t think that way.

I think the concern is regarding how many people know of others who are massively abusing the concept and just doing whatever they want/ living as normally as they please and calling any contact/mixing/gathering a ‘bubble’.

I posted in the thread about eight mums hanging round drinking takeaway coffee on the children’s playground , mocking the whole concept and calling themselves a ‘park bubble’. I’ve also watched my neighbour have twelve other adults pile in her house last night for her birthday party and calling it a ‘birthday bubble’.

Some are deliberately misinterpreting it. Some might genuinely not realise that it’s not within the rules. It’s all become blurred.

If people are seeing this around them, they will clamour for bubbles to be stopped because they are misunderstanding the fact that it’s not bubbles causing the problem. It’s selfish idiots breaking rules and calling it a bubble because theyv jumped on the word as meaning they can do as they please as long as they call it a bubble.

Imo I do think there should be reminders put out to the public about what the bubbles are. They are support for those who absolutely need it and are at risk without them.

Not just anyone who is bored and pissed off with doing what the rest of have to. They should be contained, not just people seeing whatever family and friends they want to and calling every event a ‘bubble’ , changing groups of people every day.

A lot of people are now just doing as they please and using the term bubble to stop anyone questioning it.

It would be disgusting if that behaviour meant that it became illegal for those who need support bubbles etc to have them.

Can’t see it happening thankfully. But those shouting for it need to realise their anger is with those breaking the rules. Not those who are vulnerable in need.

@Loncan

I’ll back up *@cyclingmad* and say that as a single person living alone, lockdown has been pretty rough. My immediate family lives on the other side of the Atlantic, and I’ve been unable to form a bubble with anyone here, due to distance or because they’re already in bubbles with their own family/childcare etc.

I had absolutely no physical human contact for 6 months, and it looks like it will now be several months again. The only way I see people is through Zoom or FaceTime, and that gets old real quick. I absolutely don’t begrudge doing my part to keep people safe, but spending over a year alone, without even hugging people for months on end, missing out on the opportunity to try and find a partner, while watching my fertility decrease, has really taken a toll on me, as I imagine it has for a lot of single people.

Absolutely there are people taking the piss out of support bubbles, but surely there must be a way to mitigate that without banning them for people who really need them. Because no one deserves to feel like this, when there are alternatives.

I'm in this situation too, also with family abroad. Usually loneliness is talked about as something that affects the elderly... I'm in my late 30s.

On another post someone was saying she needs a support bubble because her DH goes out to work all day and she's lonely. But she lives with her DH and kids...

I've literally not touched another person since February last year. Luckily I have pets and they've been amazing.

@Chloemol

What they need to do it make it much clearer that it is one support bubble allowed

If you read on here people have lots. Sister is single so bubbles with parents. Then parents bubble with other daughter( married dh 2 x children) for childcare, and third daughter as she is a single parent of 2, then fourth daughter who has a dh and child under one. So that’s 13 in a bubble

In fact if they bubble with thier single daughter they can’t bubble with anyone rise.

That’s the real issue

This.

My SIL and BIL ( both in their 60s with medical conditions that make them vulnerable ) have just got Covid from doing exactly this.

They caught Covid from daughter 1 ( a healthcare worker ) after having lunch together ( “we are in a bubble as we provide childcare” ).

Then passed it onto daughter 2 ( “we are in a bubble as she is single” - although she’s already in a bubble with her partner she doesn’t live with).

And then one of them passed it onto their son and his wife ( “we are in a bubble as they have a child under one”).

So the one DD ( who caught it at work in a hospital we assume ) passed it to her two parents ( 60s) , her sister ( 30s, also NHS staff ) and her brother / SIL ( also 30s).

Fortunately all the ones in their 30s have only had minor symptoms it but was really risky for the parents( 60s and CV) .

We had a zoom call at Christmas with SIL/ BIL telling everyone how they had seem all their three children and partners/ children over Christmas but not on the same day so that makes it ok. And we were all .

SIL/ BIL are just stupid ( “ the only thing that makes my life worth living is seeing my GC” ) but their daughters are HCP and should know better.

Sorry, in case it wasn’t clear - I 100% support genuine support bubbles.

Just not the people who use the phrase “ support bubble” or “ mental health “ to justify doing whatever risky behaviour they want.

@cyclingmad It must be horrible living alone and not being in a support bubble. I don't think you are forgotten about because that is exactly why support bubbles were introduced in the first place, as it's inhumane to expect someone to be isolated for so long.

However it's not anyone else fault that you have no one to bubble with. I think it's a bit nasty to say that because you don't have one you would be happy if they were scrapped so everyone else has to be in the same position as you.

[quote Mousehole10]**@cyclingmad It must be horrible living alone and not being in a support bubble. I don't think you are forgotten about because that is exactly why support bubbles were introduced in the first place, as it's inhumane to expect someone to be isolated for so long.

However it's not anyone else fault that you have no one to bubble with. I think it's a bit nasty to say that because you don't have one you would be happy if they were scrapped so everyone else has to be in the same position as you.[/quote]
@cyclingmad also said they could form a bubble with their parents but wont because they are 30 miles away. Well, that is fine because there is not a distance limit on bubbles.... they are choosing not to form a bubble. So, saying they are fine them being taken away so people can have a taste of what their life is like is harsh and unnecessary. My parents are my bubble and they are 45 miles away.

[quote Mousehole10]@cyclingmad It must be horrible living alone and not being in a support bubble. I don't think you are forgotten about because that is exactly why support bubbles were introduced in the first place, as it's inhumane to expect someone to be isolated for so long.

However it's not anyone else fault that you have no one to bubble with. I think it's a bit nasty to say that because you don't have one you would be happy if they were scrapped so everyone else has to be in the same position as you.[/quote]
Oh wow s o now its my fault I can't bubble with anyone. Bloody hell how nasty are you?

What would you like me to do ask my other single friends who bubblenwith their parents or their sisters or brothers to pick me instead?

What shall I tell me parents who are supoort bubble for my other sister to pick me?

Are you that dense that you cannot understand that its not my fault I don't have one?

And you think im nasty cos people moaning on here at least live with someone and have human contact at least.

ODFOD you don't have any idea of what its like to basically tell me its my fault

Bimbleboo I think you've nailed exactly what the problem is. It's how people are abusing the bubbles and it's rife.

@cyclingmad Where did I say it is your fault? I never once said that. I said that it isn't anyone else fault which it isn't. You shouldn't tae your anger out on others.

Oh wow s o now its my fault I can't bubble with anyone. Bloody hell how nasty are you?

She didn't say it was your fault

I am in a support bubble with an elderly parent who is a 3 hour drive away. If support bubbles and/or associated travel are removed, I will have to leave my own family and move up there for the duration. The first 3 months where bubbles weren't allowed had a much harder impact on them than I had realised. Yes, we can get food delivered but there are other practical things they need help with that cannot be done remotely, not to mention the mental impact of having no contact with other people other than by phone.

I agree it’s people’s wilful misunderstanding of the whole concept. One bubble means one bubble.

It’s not I’m in a bubble with my parents and dh is in a bubble with his parents and his parents are in a bubble with sil and her dcs who are in a bubble with their other grandma and her neighbour...”

I don't have any problem with support bubbles when used properly, but there are sadly people abusing the concept.

I know someone who insists she needs a childcare support bubble with her parents. She's a stay at home Mum with one school aged child (no SEN or challenging behaviour). The Dad also works from home, so both parents are home with said child. They literally don't need childcare support but basically she likes her son to go off a couple of times a week to her parents so her and her husband can just relax at home on their own, which I think is abusing the system. Both of her parents are over 65, overweight and with health issues, and it has put them both at completely unnecessary risk.

@C0NNIE nail on the head there. Couldn’t agree more.

Support bubbles in Scotland are only for single adult households (single parents with kids under 16 too). I have a really young child and and if there is a 2 parent household, I'm not sure the English support bubbles are really necessary. I'm not a lockdown fanatic but if they have to axe bubbles, I think the one for kids under 1 should go but anyone living alone should still be allowed to form a bubble.

Single adult households should have bubbles. No one else.

I'd probably go as far as saying only those who don't work, remotely or otherwise.

I just said my sister is bubblebwith them too its not just distance

I'm not choosing to be on my own jesus christ who would do that for months on ends.

Single adult households should have bubbles. No one else.

I think that is too harsh. I'm a single adult and nearly went over the edge in the first lockdown (3 days without seeing another human being is apparently my limit). It might be easier for me this time because work have allowed us in. But my sister, who has severe PND, wouldn't have coped if she hadn't been able to access support from our mum when she was at her lowest point.

No one thinks you are choosing to be on your own. Just that where other single people can form a support bubble, they may choose to do so, and your situation isn't their fault, and they don't have to feel that they can't have the support themselves.

@Handcarthell

Single adult households should have bubbles. No one else.

I'd probably go as far as saying only those who don't work, remotely or otherwise.

Seriously? Support bubbles only for people who don't work? Do you really think that an occasional MS Teams call with colleagueswho you may well not be close to is enough to alleviate the horrendous loneliness and isolation which comes from living alone and wfh?

And even if you go into work it's often not much different. I'm in an office alone. There is one other person in my corridor. I know him so have said good morning from his doorway and asked if we are the only two people here. That is the limit of my interaction with him, no more than I would have with the checkout person at the supermarket. He isn't a friend, I'm not socialising with him, I can't sit and have a chat with him, or hug him or even get within 2 m of him. He is in another office and we've had a 30 second conversation. That is absolutely in no way a substitute for proper contact, conversation, comfort, hugs etc from my support bubble.

For a short period of time I think this is necessary, yes.

They could be reinstated at a later date, but atm desperate times need desperate measures.