The amount of posters who want support bubbles banned is shocking...

[ToHellinahandbasket]

And quite frankly appalling.
Is it just me seeing a lot of this?
The many threads about further restrictions seem to all be posters suggesting things that don’t affect them and insisting those be the things that should go.
It’s a real eye opener.

I benefit from a support bubble as my son was under one on the 2nd December. I had PND and was already suffering from anxiety due to a previous TFMR which developed into quite bad health anxiety. Without my support bubble I don’t know what would have happened tbh, and I’m still not back to normal now so I dread to think how it will be if they do take them away.

I don’t get takeaway coffee but I’m not shouting from the rooftops for it to be banned. I don’t meet a friend for a socially distanced walk, but I’m not shouting about that either.

There just seems to be a very narrow minded view at the moment, I don’t know if it’s just on here, where people are airily dismissing things without a thought for how it can affect other people or their mental health or situations.

I feel like people bandied together a bit to begin with and now it’s flipped completely. It’s eye opening and seriously depressing.

Is it just on mumsnet do you think? I don’t know what I’m hoping to achieve by posting this tbh I just feel really unsettled by some of the attitudes I’ve seen on here tonight and some of the things I’ve read

I know people are allowed their own opinions, of course and that’s what is great about an online forum, but there seems to be a definite lean one way of late. I even saw a few posters proclaiming we should get the army on the streets to “manage” people and ensure that people don’t break the rules if support bubbles are stopped.

There doesn’t seem to be much compassion left :(

As I said earlier, I think a problem is calling two lots of things "bubbles". Support bubbles are an extension of your household within which you can mix freely, stay overnight etc. Childcare bubbles and things which people and the media call "bubbles" like "exercise bubbles", "work bubbles", "school bubbles" are where you are allowed to mix with certain others with some restrictions depending on the circumstances.

Some clarity of language would be very helpful I think.

Totally agree @ToHellinahandbasket

I think it’s just mumsnet though, really.

It’s easy to shout for it if you’re wealthy, in a family in a nice house and no need to struggle.

Cross post with @blackcat86 - sorry

As a single person with no support bubble let me tell you what life is like:

I can a whole week of zero face to face conversation with someone and then the only time I will is if I need to go buy food and queue up for the tills so I can actually say a few words to someone.

Otherwise irs just phone calls or video calls but unless you have lots and lots of friends you cant be calling your friends or family every single day either as everyone is either looking after their kids or doing whatever it is they are doing.

Yes I can go outside for a walk again I might see people but hardly go up and randomly chat to strangers.

I could break the rules but my parents are over 30 miles away and we aren't supposed to be doing uni travel or leaving local areas and with the police dling random checks I cant afford a fine.

Some of you think you got it so hard, why you don't my life out and maybe you'll realise how lucky you still have it.

There not having fun at home, no. They need to do school work that needs to be handed in at the end of every day and I’m working from home. As I help them with school work evenings are when I get most of my job done, so no, it’s not fun, it’s a exhausting slog.

Atleast I can admit I’m bitter and help us about it. I’m a human and feel human emotions.

Schools should not have closed before support bubbles.

Only one support bubble should be allowed and that’s for anyone that lives alone.

My neighbour has her friend as her childcare bubble, she is her sisters support bubble as the sister lives alone. And the neighbour is a support bubble for childcare. 3 bubbles, one family, basically her life is the same and she still sees her mum, sister and best mate.

That’s not how support bubbles should be when so many other people are suffering too much.

We are either all in this together or not, no?

Some people are breaking the rules and wrongly using the word bubble.

That does not mean bubbles should be banned for people who live alone. Even if they banned them now they can fuck off. I spent 5 weeks completely isolated and no other contact with another human in lockdown 1 before I realised how ridiculous that was and went to my DPs. We both live alone, and WFH, so it’s ridiculous to “ban” us from seeing each other.

I think there are a lot of anxious people on here lashing out and blaming other people because they are scared and unhappy. Most people I know in the real world are getting on with it in a sensible way. Also it is worth bearing in mind that if you have had it and recovered (an increasingly large group of people in my life) you are not going to be freaking out about other people going to supermarkets and who they might be bubbling with etc.

@cyclingmad

As a single person with no support bubble let me tell you what life is like:

I can a whole week of zero face to face conversation with someone and then the only time I will is if I need to go buy food and queue up for the tills so I can actually say a few words to someone.

Otherwise irs just phone calls or video calls but unless you have lots and lots of friends you cant be calling your friends or family every single day either as everyone is either looking after their kids or doing whatever it is they are doing.

Yes I can go outside for a walk again I might see people but hardly go up and randomly chat to strangers.

I could break the rules but my parents are over 30 miles away and we aren't supposed to be doing uni travel or leaving local areas and with the police dling random checks I cant afford a fine.

Some of you think you got it so hard, why you don't my life out and maybe you'll realise how lucky you still have it.

This sounds tough

I'm usually a huffy Londonder but am making sure that I smile, say hi and pass the time of day with anyone who talks to me when I'm out on my dog walks for this reason. I might be the only person they've spoken to all day.

@Heartlantern2

There not having fun at home, no. They need to do school work that needs to be handed in at the end of every day and I’m working from home. As I help them with school work evenings are when I get most of my job done, so no, it’s not fun, it’s a exhausting slog.

Atleast I can admit I’m bitter and help us about it. I’m a human and feel human emotions.

Schools should not have closed before support bubbles.

Only one support bubble should be allowed and that’s for anyone that lives alone.

My neighbour has her friend as her childcare bubble, she is her sisters support bubble as the sister lives alone. And the neighbour is a support bubble for childcare. 3 bubbles, one family, basically her life is the same and she still sees her mum, sister and best mate.

That’s not how support bubbles should be when so many other people are suffering too much.

We are either all in this together or not, no?

Well no, what your neighbour is doing is breaking the rules, you are not allowed more than one support bubble. A childcare bubble is not a support bubble and she isn’t allowed to mix with the adults in it, and she can also only be part of one.

My neighbour has her friend as her childcare bubble, she is her sisters support bubble as the sister lives alone. And the neighbour is a support bubble for childcare. 3 bubbles, one family, basically her life is the same and she still sees her mum, sister and best mate.

That's a drip feed, they are breaking the rules. The way you put it sounded like they had a legally allowed support bubble, Childcare bubbles aren't meant for socialising, but I can see why people do it as surely they've already exposed themselves. I won't stop seeing my DP in my genuine support bubble (my only one) just because other people don't know what a bubble is or break the law. Or to make other people feel better.

Support bubbles are an easy thing to remove at no cost whereas many other restrictions would cost money. I want to see wealthy business owners paying for improved safety in the workplace that is strictly enforced, more people allowed to wfh and paid to self isolate, mass testing of workers who have to be at work.

@Heartlantern2 and yes, schools should be closed before support bubbles. Do you really not see that it would be worse for people who qualify for a support Bubble then it is for your kids who are at home with you and have each other?

@ToHellinahandbasket I totally agree with you.I’ve gone through most my pregnancy and 4 months of maternity leave during covid. It’s not what I envisioned but we make do. I have a support bubble with one friend who is heavily pregnant and we have DS1’s the same age. We don’t take the mick and will often still meet outdoors anyway. If nurseries were to shut I think I would find things very difficult at home with a pre-schooler and my new baby and I’m pretty resilient. I worked till very late in my pregnancy for the NHS and now is the time when I need support.

I take that back, support bubbles should only be single people who live alone and single parents with children under 5.

That does not mean bubbles should be banned for people who live alone. Even if they banned them now they can fuck off. I spent 5 weeks completely isolated and no other contact with another human in lockdown 1 before I realised how ridiculous that was and went to my DPs. We both live alone, and WFH, so it’s ridiculous to “ban” us from seeing each other.

Completely agree

No mouse hole, I don’t agree. My children shouldn’t be at school but the neighbour can pop round to her sisters for the day and have coffe and cake as the sister is her “childcare bubble ( the irony is her and her husband don’t even work!! But they are lovely people and don’t work for a valid reason, don’t want to make it sound like they are benefit scrounges as they are not)

@Heartlantern2. I’ll keep mine thanks. Me and a teenager. That’s pretty hard I can tell you - I need to keep her mental health up which is completely exhausting and it’s also important she sees another child so we both need the bubble and will not be sacrificing it.

The government has been lax in explaining how to keep you and your family safe when you form a support bubble. Initially, we’re told to stay indoors and only meet up with others outdoors whilst maintaining a 2 metre distance. Then they introduced ‘support bubbles’ to help people who were struggling whilst living alone.

Fine, but it has to be one bubble that everyone stays inside of.

Unfortunately, the confusion has led to anomalies such as:
Widowed Granny forming a support bubble with daughter and her working husband and 2 children.
The Daughter then bubbles with her best friend who’s single and has 2 children of similar ages so the children all play in each other’s houses together.
The Best friend has a support bubble with her parents because she’s single, they are her children’s grandparents and they provide extra support at weekends.

So Widowed Granny is now exposed to 9 additional people.

That’s before anyone goes out shopping or chatting to other friends outdoors.

OP I don’t think they will ban support bubbles. And I think if they did, it would be pointless as we would all ignore the ban. Don’t worry x

It's a problem of visibility.

Those that genuinely need support bubbles are largely invisible.
Because of their isolation they and their needs are not seen by everyone going about their daily lives following the rules.

The most visible 'bubbles' are the ones that aren't playing by the rules. The whole family groups 'accidentally' bumping into each other in the park on their daily exercise. The single person that's loudly receiving visits from twenty members of the extended family over the course of a week. The people that are in half-a-dozen bubbles.

There's a risk of throwing the baby out with the bathwater if bubbles are banned because of the very visible abuses when the value to those that need them is hidden.

Also Hancock is in a support bubble with his FIL. I think they do get it.

Hang on, I thought you said everyone is entitled to their own opinion, sounds like your the one being one sided.
How do you expect things to change if people keep mixing, probably why people are under the opinion that support bubbles should be banned, or at least restricted more, I imagine some are taking more advantage than they should, just my opinion

@Heartlantern2 just out of interest. So my parents and in laws live abroad. I can’t bubble with my sister. My husband is still working. I have a 4 month old and a 3.6 year old. You don’t think it’s right that I have the option to bubble with a close friend who lives 10 minutes away?

100% agree OP. I have a baby under one too and my support bubble is crucial to my family’s wellbeing. If they are banned I will absolutely continue to use mine and would be more than ready to defend doing so in court (not that it would come to that in reality).

One problem is people who are in more than one bubble. My friend who is widowed and lives alone is in a bubble with her son's family. They have 3 children. She is also in a bubble with her daughter's family as they have a child under one. This means that she gets to spend time with all of her 6 grandchildren on a regular basis.
I, because I live with my DH, can't see my grandchildren at all.
I fully support her being in a bubble. She lives alone and it's been a lifesaver for her. But I do think only one bubble should be allowed.