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Original poster

The amount of posters who want support bubbles banned is shocking...

246 replies

ToHellinahandbasket · 10/01/2021 23:36

And quite frankly appalling.
Is it just me seeing a lot of this?
The many threads about further restrictions seem to all be posters suggesting things that don’t affect them and insisting those be the things that should go.
It’s a real eye opener.

I benefit from a support bubble as my son was under one on the 2nd December. I had PND and was already suffering from anxiety due to a previous TFMR which developed into quite bad health anxiety. Without my support bubble I don’t know what would have happened tbh, and I’m still not back to normal now so I dread to think how it will be if they do take them away.

I don’t get takeaway coffee but I’m not shouting from the rooftops for it to be banned. I don’t meet a friend for a socially distanced walk, but I’m not shouting about that either.

There just seems to be a very narrow minded view at the moment, I don’t know if it’s just on here, where people are airily dismissing things without a thought for how it can affect other people or their mental health or situations.

I feel like people bandied together a bit to begin with and now it’s flipped completely. It’s eye opening and seriously depressing.

Is it just on mumsnet do you think? I don’t know what I’m hoping to achieve by posting this tbh I just feel really unsettled by some of the attitudes I’ve seen on here tonight and some of the things I’ve read

I know people are allowed their own opinions, of course and that’s what is great about an online forum, but there seems to be a definite lean one way of late. I even saw a few posters proclaiming we should get the army on the streets to “manage” people and ensure that people don’t break the rules if support bubbles are stopped.

There doesn’t seem to be much compassion left :(

OP posts:
Gobacktothe90s · 11/01/2021 08:47

@scaevola

I think that concluding that anyone who doesn't agree with you must be a paid plant is going too far. And shows just how toxic the division can become.

I also think that seeing the necessity for a step is not the same as calling for it because you want it. When the biggest risk comes from contact between households, scrutinising where contact occurs and bearing down on it is the way to get the change that is so urgently needed.

As I said, ideally before hospitals buckle. Which too many are worryingly close to doing

There has been paid plants on here many a time though. The backlash about furlough and then who is sending their kids into schools and whether they are a acceptable key worker and now support bubbles and changes are made days after The backlash about key workers kids going into school a change was made after how many threads on here
ChairinSage · 11/01/2021 08:52

I've been absolutely horrified by the viciousness shown by some posters with an "I'm ok so you should be too" attitude to this virus. The hysterical shouting for more lockdown restrictions is horrible when there are people struggling to cope under the current regime.

I don't know when it changed, but MN used to be an excellent source of support when my children were little. I'm not sure I'd bother if I was looking for sensible advice these days.

Support bubbles are VITAL for continuous support. No solidarity in the sister here.

Bohemiagirl · 11/01/2021 08:54

I have friends who are completely abusing the support bubbles (different people every day etc) but I absolutely don't think they should be banned. They are a lifeline for those who need them.

Remmy123 · 11/01/2021 08:54

There are a lot of posters who want us all to live in absolute misery on this board 😓

Heartlantern2 · 11/01/2021 08:58

I can tell you when it changed for me if you like?

It changed for me when my kids were denied going to school. Now they see no one and are constantly within the same four walls bar a hourly walk as it’s just too cold to do longer! I then find out lots of children are in school carrying on- so now my kids are at a MASSIVE disadvantage in more ways than one!! Angry

Everyone’s happy for my kids to suffer, now everyone else should join them to see how they bloody well like it!

These are kids FFS!

I’m happy for support bubbles to stop because it doesn’t affect me so I hope it happens. I will just sit here and spout shit like “we’re in a pandemic, support bubbles should stop for the better of everyone because it’s not just about the individuals”

Yes, I am bitter and angry!
Now you know how my kids feel having everything taken away from them!

As long as you lot where alright jack! Angry

Mousehole10 · 11/01/2021 08:59

Support bubbles for those who need them are completely essential and should not be scrapped. My baby under one bubble has been my lifeline and I could not get through the next few months without it.

But they donned to be tightened up and the rules explained more. Too many people think you’re allowed one of each bubble, for example allowed a single person bubble and a baby under one bubble, which simply isn’t true. Too many people think a childcare bubble is a support bubble and therefore can mix freely. It’s not and they can’t. There are posts in here almost every day asking if they can and not understanding why it’s against the rules. I’m worried they will get taken away because people ‘misunderstand’.

TheWindOnTheMoon · 11/01/2021 08:59

My 80 yo MIL is in a support bubble with us. She sees no-one but DH who takes her shopping & rings her daily. Without that physical connection she would see no-one at all.

DH's sister has ignored all the lockdown rules, has friends round, goes out, does everything she should not. She lives in a area where covid cases are increasing rapidly, and doesn't care. DH has tried talking to her but says it's like banging his head against a brick wall. She won't give up her normal life and MIL has had to cut off all physical contact with her to protect herself. Some people are just like that - you can't get through to them.

U8myufo · 11/01/2021 08:59

It's strange how different things take a bashing for a few weeks then it's on to the next thing. Support bubbles are the new teachers/keyworkers using school places etc etc. The mumsnet world's gone mad! People against people.

MoltenLasagne · 11/01/2021 08:59

@iVampire

feasible to lock up elderly single adults in a home and post them food parcels

The elderly were never locked up, not did they receive food parcels

The CEV/shielded did, but that group was not based on age but on comorbidity. I’m sorry for sounding petulant but I am sick of correcting this inaccuracy months after I was first asked to shield

Sorry, I wasn't saying they had been previously, but that its one of many suggestions of what should happen next from the more disturbed lot.

I've even seen people suggest that over 50s shouldn't be able to leave their houses at all, so clearly people don't realise that retirement age is 66...

BarbaraofSeville · 11/01/2021 09:01

It's nothing to do with wanting people to live in misery, it's being realistic about how transmission is happening.

Far too many people are using 'support bubbles', to carry on as normal with their friends and family. The phrase 'it's OK, we're in a bubble' is not magic words that stops the virus transmitting.

Likewise with schools, there's no point 'closing' schools but allowing 40/50/60% of pupils to attend.

Of course people are in difficult situations, but the reality is that it's being in contact with other people that allows the virus to transmit, however you dress up the conditions in which they do so.

Heartlantern2 · 11/01/2021 09:02

My friend in her support bubble with her neighbour was at hers Saturday night drinking shots and having a laugh, they then had the aducity to post it because it was alright as they are each other’s support bubble.

Makes me sick!

Mousehole10 · 11/01/2021 09:04

@Heartlantern2 you do realise there are people who have been completely isolated since March, bar seeing their support bubble? People with new babies with no support at all until December when they were allowed a support bubble? You say ‘your kids’, you have more then one, they have each other and they have you. They were at school between September and December playing with their friends. They are not isolated. They have had more then most people have had all year. Sorry but I don’t really feel sorry for your kids.

peak2021 · 11/01/2021 09:04

I think there is not a wish to end them all, perhaps that they should be for support to those who really cannot manage alone, especially for physical limitations or disability such as some older people.

Mreggsworth · 11/01/2021 09:05

I didn't think they should be banned, but it needs to be more clearly stated what the rules of bubbles are (to be honest I think it's already clear but so many people seem to mis interpret it)

Gobacktothe90s · 11/01/2021 09:08

A part of it is also jealously, I don't think anyone in a support bubble wants them to end.
It is always posters with a partner who thinks single people should just crack on with it

blackcat86 · 11/01/2021 09:13

I do think that only 1 support bubble should be the guidance as I see lots of people with multiples for xyz. I appreciate your postnatal mental health issues but unfortunately this affects more than just those with under 1s and people still have to just cope. Personally I think people going to major supermarkets when they don't really need to is the height of stupidity but they are still open and people do it. We all have our risks and the things we avoid.

HarrietteNightingale · 11/01/2021 09:17

My friend in her support bubble with her neighbour was at hers Saturday night drinking shots and having a laugh, they then had the aducity to post it because it was alright as they are each other’s support bubble.

So? If they are a genuine single adult household support bubble what is the problem? People are allowed to have a drink and some fun occasionally.

I'm sorry your children are struggling with not going to school but at least they have each other and you. Or don't you let them ever do anything fun at home either because other people are suffering so no one should? I doubt that somehow.

PinkSpring · 11/01/2021 09:19

It's a jealousy thing - the only people I know whinging that early years/pre-schools need to close and/or that bubbles need to be taken away are those who don't use or rely on them.

People seem quite happy to say the things they don't use should be taken away because they aren't considering that other people rely on them because they don't give a shit about others as long as they are ok and not inconvenienced......

If our childcare bubble is taken away, we can't work - then what? My children are too young to be left alone for any length of time, apparently that isn't considered though

Hotcuppatea · 11/01/2021 09:20

@Heartlantern2

My friend in her support bubble with her neighbour was at hers Saturday night drinking shots and having a laugh, they then had the aducity to post it because it was alright as they are each other’s support bubble.

Makes me sick!

This post clearly displays the petty moralising and jealousy that lies behind pressure to stop support bubbles.
Mousehole10 · 11/01/2021 09:20

@blackcat86

I do think that only 1 support bubble should be the guidance as I see lots of people with multiples for xyz. I appreciate your postnatal mental health issues but unfortunately this affects more than just those with under 1s and people still have to just cope. Personally I think people going to major supermarkets when they don't really need to is the height of stupidity but they are still open and people do it. We all have our risks and the things we avoid.
The rules are only one support bubble allowed. The people you see with multiples are breaking the rules.

Baby under one bubbles are essential, not just for pnd but for proper support when your at home by yourself with a young baby.

PinkSpring · 11/01/2021 09:23

@Heartlantern2 Biscuit bitter indeed

HarrietteNightingale · 11/01/2021 09:24

This post clearly displays the petty moralising and jealousy that lies behind pressure to stop support bubbles.

Yes, it is very clear. Heaven forbid anyone isn't constantly fucking miserable at home. If you treat your genuine support bubble like you are one household there is literally no difference to if you moved in with them, or anyone else sharing a house with their own family or a friend.

FightingWithTheWind · 11/01/2021 09:27

When you have people like someone I know laughing about how she has 10 bubbles, and refuses to wear a mask, I can see why someome might think bubbles should be banned. But just because some are abusing it does not mean they are not absolutley vital for others. Considering there was a call for kindness and compassion at the start of last year, covid soon brought out the very worst selfishness in some. Certain people refuse to understand mental illness, loneliness, young parents struggling etc. And think that everyone should be able to cope the same - 'we are all in the same boat' drives me insane - no we are in the sane storm, but we are all on very different boats!

Buttercupcup · 11/01/2021 09:27

The loss of basic humanity in this pandemic is quite shocking

ThankyouPeter · 11/01/2021 09:29

This has been an interesting read. The issue is clearly people getting 'confused'. They are unlikely to get rid of support bubbles as Boris has a child under one and is using that support bubble himself. I think clear messaging that you are only allowed to bubble with one other household exclusively for one of the stated reasons would be a start. I'm sure that many people qualify for more than one of the reasons but I think that is where it should be tightened.