The amount of posters who want support bubbles banned is shocking...

[ToHellinahandbasket]

And quite frankly appalling.
Is it just me seeing a lot of this?
The many threads about further restrictions seem to all be posters suggesting things that don’t affect them and insisting those be the things that should go.
It’s a real eye opener.

I benefit from a support bubble as my son was under one on the 2nd December. I had PND and was already suffering from anxiety due to a previous TFMR which developed into quite bad health anxiety. Without my support bubble I don’t know what would have happened tbh, and I’m still not back to normal now so I dread to think how it will be if they do take them away.

I don’t get takeaway coffee but I’m not shouting from the rooftops for it to be banned. I don’t meet a friend for a socially distanced walk, but I’m not shouting about that either.

There just seems to be a very narrow minded view at the moment, I don’t know if it’s just on here, where people are airily dismissing things without a thought for how it can affect other people or their mental health or situations.

I feel like people bandied together a bit to begin with and now it’s flipped completely. It’s eye opening and seriously depressing.

Is it just on mumsnet do you think? I don’t know what I’m hoping to achieve by posting this tbh I just feel really unsettled by some of the attitudes I’ve seen on here tonight and some of the things I’ve read

I know people are allowed their own opinions, of course and that’s what is great about an online forum, but there seems to be a definite lean one way of late. I even saw a few posters proclaiming we should get the army on the streets to “manage” people and ensure that people don’t break the rules if support bubbles are stopped.

There doesn’t seem to be much compassion left :(

True support bubbles are not the biggest problem and should be kept because there has to be a balance. The problem is people using them as an excuse. I know people who have multiple childcare bubbles, including a weekend in where the kids have a sleep over. I've seen new year's eve parties with people in their bubble and there are more than 8 adults in the photos (students at school showing me). We have students being picked up from school each day in groups, by different adults, all in a car together. For some students it is a different person in the car each day.

Those aren't bubbles, they are taking the piss. I'd love to be in some kind of bubble; DP and I are pushed to our absolute limit mentally and physically at the moment with work (both secondary teachers) and I could genuinely do with some support. But the risk is too big.

@Bohemiagirl

One problem is people who are in more than one bubble. My friend who is widowed and lives alone is in a bubble with her son's family. They have 3 children. She is also in a bubble with her daughter's family as they have a child under one. This means that she gets to spend time with all of her 6 grandchildren on a regular basis. I, because I live with my DH, can't see my grandchildren at all. I fully support her being in a bubble. She lives alone and it's been a lifesaver for her. But I do think only one bubble should be allowed.

Only one bubble is allowed, your friend is breaking the rules. She needs to pick either her son or her daughters family.

Can someone please explain to me if I am aloud a support bubble I don’t really understand the rules. I’ve seen so many exceptions and I’m really struggling but believe I’m not aloud one. I have a dd6 who I’m home schooling there are no online lessons it’s all down to me to help her with the work then send it off to be marked and she has a full days worth, then I have a ds2.5 with significant delays (on the path to being diagnosed with autism) to look after and I work late (not nights) in a supermarket. I’m absolutely exhausted and on the verge of loosing my mind but can’t see if I fall into the category of being aloud support however you can join a bubble for so many reasons.

@Bohemiagirl there’s only one bubble allowed per household. The guidance on this is very clear. You cannot join another bubble if you are already in one, even if they’re different types of bubbles. Your friend either hasn’t read the clear guidance on this or is choosing to ignore it.

Thanks for advice regarding my friend. I think she genuinely doesn't understand it, and her family thinks it's ok. She's not the type to break rules. But it does perhaps show that the guidance isn't being interpreted correctly by people.

@Jazzy1814

Can someone please explain to me if I am aloud a support bubble I don’t really understand the rules. I’ve seen so many exceptions and I’m really struggling but believe I’m not aloud one. I have a dd6 who I’m home schooling there are no online lessons it’s all down to me to help her with the work then send it off to be marked and she has a full days worth, then I have a ds2.5 with significant delays (on the path to being diagnosed with autism) to look after and I work late (not nights) in a supermarket. I’m absolutely exhausted and on the verge of loosing my mind but can’t see if I fall into the category of being aloud support however you can join a bubble for so many reasons.

Are you the only adult in your household? If so you are a single household and can form a support bubble. If not, then you can't have a support bubble but you can have one childcare bubble, you can't socialise/mix with them but they look after your children which could help with your homeschooling/work situation?

@Bohemiagirl

Thanks for advice regarding my friend. I think she genuinely doesn't understand it, and her family thinks it's ok. She's not the type to break rules. But it does perhaps show that the guidance isn't being interpreted correctly by people.

It is pretty clear on the gov website, it says You should not form a support bubble with a household that is part of another support bubble.

But yes so many people are not reading it or misunderstanding it really needs to be made clearer and maybe a feature on it in the news or something.

It's clear from this thread that it's confusing and actually what is needed is a clear message about what is allowed but also what isn't (multiple bubbles etc)

Also with life the best intentions and rules go out of the window when something serious happens it's human nature to offer support and kindness to others.

Are you the only adult in your household? If so you are a single household and can form a support bubble.

Jazzy can't form a support bubble for herself if she isn't the only adult but a single friend or family member could join her household as a support bubble for themselves.

Provided they aren't in any other support bubbles.

The website guidance is not rocket science. People are just making up their own guidance.

@MercyBooth

Or jealousy Bit like the benefits threads/council housing threads.

I think there is a bit of jealousy, as a single person being able to choose whoever they want to be bubbled with, whereas someone who lives with a partner isn't allowed to see anyone else. I'm happy with my set up and don't care what anyone else does but I can see why some might feel upset that they don't get the choice of who they want to spend time with.

Ps - to clarify I'm saying I totally understand why people have support bubbles , before anyone jumps on me....

Nobody has multiple support bubbles as the rules don’t make that possible.

Er, someone I know had got about 6 'bubbles'

@AHPforthe123
No you shouldn’t be allowed a support bubble, you are not a single person household or a single parent household.

@DishedUp

I think there's a lot of abuse of support bubbles. You clearly needed the support, and many people do so absolutely should not be banned. But equally a lot of people seem to be using support bubble willy-nilly

This.

The number of...

(I'll get my coat.)

I just give up, this thread just shows how people are taking the piss and do you what as a single person who cannot have a support bubble cos people I know already have a bubble with someone else so they can't be mine...just shut all the bubbles down then you can actually finally understand what you are doing to other people through your selfishness, except you won't really cos you have a partner or a child and still get that human contact everyday.

Fml how out of touch and selfish can people be to not see there are people who have zero human interaction day in day out.

@Heartlantern2 thanks for clarifying

The problem is, like with many other things in life, people use the support bubble exceptions to take the absolute piss. This means that in all likelihood the restrictions will be tightened, which leaves genuine people like you struggling. It's not fair. But you have the pisstakers to thank for that!

@Bluesheep8

Nobody has multiple support bubbles as the rules don’t make that possible.

Er, someone I know had got about 6 'bubbles'

This is like the 'do vegetarians eat fish' argument.

Well my cousin is a vegetarian and he eats fish.

Er, no, your cousin eats fish so is not a vegetarian, likewise, someone with multiple support bubbles isn't in bubbles, they're just breaking the rules.

@frustrationcentral. But we can only choose one support bubble. Just like others have chosen one partner.

I’ll back up @cyclingmad and say that as a single person living alone, lockdown has been pretty rough. My immediate family lives on the other side of the Atlantic, and I’ve been unable to form a bubble with anyone here, due to distance or because they’re already in bubbles with their own family/childcare etc.

I had absolutely no physical human contact for 6 months, and it looks like it will now be several months again. The only way I see people is through Zoom or FaceTime, and that gets old real quick. I absolutely don’t begrudge doing my part to keep people safe, but spending over a year alone, without even hugging people for months on end, missing out on the opportunity to try and find a partner, while watching my fertility decrease, has really taken a toll on me, as I imagine it has for a lot of single people.

Absolutely there are people taking the piss out of support bubbles, but surely there must be a way to mitigate that without banning them for people who really need them. Because no one deserves to feel like this, when there are alternatives.

The problem isn't support bubbles or the criteria, but the perceived abuse of these.

To prevent this, have each support bubble register their support bubble (online or with police or with GP etc), then the abuse will stop but those who need support bubbles can continue to have this lifeline.

It is only 2 fixed households so the on-going risk is very low. It is not ongoing mixing of households like workplaces, childcare, etc (all of which are still open and include many non-essential workplaces, e.g. cafes fgs).

[quote Busygoingblah]@Bohemiagirl there’s only one bubble allowed per household. The guidance on this is very clear. You cannot join another bubble if you are already in one, even if they’re different types of bubbles. Your friend either hasn’t read the clear guidance on this or is choosing to ignore it.[/quote]
This is wrong. You can have a childcare bubble and support bubble.

I live alone & have a support bubble who lives about 20 miles away as there is no-one to do a bubble near by.
I saw him on 19th December, the day after the Tiers in the South East had changed drastically. I'd gone from Tier 2 to Tier 3 whereas his area had stayed in Tier 2. We did a socially distanced present swap, leaving presents on my doorstep.
From the 19th December to 1st January 2021, other than a supermarket trip, I saw no-one. I also saw him yesterday - 10th January 2021.
As he has daily social contact at work - he really can't work from home - his situation is easier now but when his work closed over Xmas, I know he was lonely.
Im not giving this up. I have ongoing health issues & he has a letter from my consultant saying it is medically advisable that I have regular contact with him.
Anyone saying that support bubbles should be stopped can f**k right off!