Learning at home: I can't keep this up - exhausted and depressed!

[UndertheCedartree]

I'm feeling so anxious and depressed about it all. I feel so much pressure from school unlike last lockdown. This isn't about blaming the school - I'm well aware probably half the school feel it is too much and half not enough!

This is for my Y4 DD we have been given a timetable covering lesson 1, break, lesson 2, lesson 3, lunch, lesson 4, reading. My DD needs quite a lot of support and the lessons are taking us 1-2hrs. This week I've spent hours every day with her until she can't stare at a screen anymore when she's done some arts and crafts and played her keyboard. She's only done half the work. I've done nothing with my eldest and DD has had the notebook all day which can't happen next week she will have to share it. I've not been able to do barely any housework or anything for myself. I have Long Covid as well as a serious mental health condition and every afternoon I have just felt like death as I am so exhausted physically and mentally. I can't keep this up

Sympathies. Similar here. I have DH sharing the load, but I am WFH too and finding it very hard to juggle. Our food all week has been pizza and fish and chips which is not like us but we literally cant find time to cook .

Expecting a parent to be a teacher and imitate school at home is ridiculous. Parents keeping up with it now won’t be in a few weeks, it’s unsustainable. I’m just doing bits and bobs that the school are setting when DD7 is in the mood and I’m not busy. I’m not stressing about completing it and thanking my lucky stars her school aren’t doing live lessons.

Could be worse, doesn’t sound like you’re juggling working from home as well as homeschooling.
Just do what you can do.

It's ok, you dont need to keep it up. If the lessons are too long, just do part of them. Or complete 2 and leave the rest. Pick tasks that encourage independent working (she should get better at this w practice). Mix it up w educational programmes and videos. If some days it gets too much, have a day off and teach her something practical and useful like how to do laundry or clean shoes (you might find she enjoys this which is a win for you going forward, alternatively it might make her keener to do school work).

Just do your best. It's enough.

@BethHarmon - I have no idea how those wfh manage any of it. On the other hand - I'm so lonely - I'd love to be at work right now.

@whatisheupto - I really can't imagine how hard it must be wfh too. We've had 2 takeaways this week and a ready meal tonight as I just couldn't cope with cooking.

You're definitely not alone. I am so anxious and exhausted too. I have a Y6 and a Y2 both will full on daily teams assignments. since Tuesday I've had no life at all. It's all just school work followed by housework. And I run my own business, which is busy thanks to Brexit transitioning etc so I'm being pulled in all directions.

The kids are sad and tired too as the work is very hard and more intensive than what they do at school.

Don’t retry to keep to a schedule that isn’t realistic for you. Just aim to do whatever amount you feel is doing , even if it’s just an hour a day. Then do some nice things together (cakes making/walking) that’s also good for learning and wellbeing.

It’s not good sending yourself to a breakdown. Much better to do what you can while retaining a happy home than to pressure yourself to do it all and end up Ill or getting angry with each other.

Jeez @BethHarmon not helpful! OP everyone has different burdens to bear, everyone handles them differently. What is a breeze for one person will be a mountain to climb for another. Plus Long Covid is seriously debilitating. Take a multi vitamin with extra Vitamin D.

Can you focus on English maths and reading? Ignore the other subjects.

Go easy on yourself. X

@Porcupineintherough - I've already decided we're going to have a day off the timetable tomorrow. She can do a bit in some fun workbooks we have and play some of the games on Bitesize then we'll go for a walk and I'll buy her a magazine, then she can spend the rest of the afternoon reading/colouring/doing puzzles by herself. I'll have to have a think about how we are going to make this work and how to split time using the laptop next week.

A class of 30 children in a school day, realistically how many minutes of the teachers undivided attention does your child get in a day do you think? As a teacher I can tell you not a lot.
I think if you can get a solid 2 hrs a day done in terms of concentration you will be keeping up really well.

100% feel you. I’m struggling with the pressure to homeschool too. I have a daughter in year 1, plus a 3 year old and one year old and we’re not keeping up.

People keep telling me to sack it off and not bother which is probably wise (and there’s absolutely nothing the school can do about it) but just doesn’t feel good. I can’t stop the guilt. But whatever I do I seem to feel guilty - if I force her to do the work I feel guilty that she’s miserable and crying and guilty that I’m abandoning the other two, and if I let her play with her siblings and don’t even try I feel guilty about that... it’s just lose lose.

I’ve written a long note to the teacher tonight outlining our struggles and basically requesting to do homeschool only every other day!

I hear you OP. I’m off sick with covid & trying to do the home learning for 2 children. It’s nonstop downloading things, logging them on to zoom, showing them power points, finding bitesize videos, printing off sheets, uploading their work... and while they have my iPad and laptop I cannot work!!

It is a full time job.
And I feel rough too.
I think we can all only do no what we can.

Don’t make yourself unwell over it, but I agree, it’s very very draining and very stressful.
X

Personally I would stop doing the lessons like art etc unless she is really into it and focus on the core subjects. Get those done best you can if you are struggling. In my mind those are important but labelling a world map, designing a wedding cake etc (as my DD had to do) is not going to have a detrimental effect on their education.

I agree with you OP. I have 3 kids 6 and younger. The 1 year old isn't in nursery and so I can only attempt home learning during his nap. I get 4 hours peace a week and now that's gone. Today I felt so upset, sad, angry and resentful. My house is a tip, I can't get anything done, we're not doing enough learning, whatever I do I feel guilty and I was sick of the drudgery before Covid. Argh!!!!!

@MoonlightMedicine - oh, that sounds so hard. My DD is finding it very intensive too - it is much more than they do at school, I agree.
@AIMD - this was the vibe from school last lockdown - do your best but keeping everyone happy and healthy is the priority. There is a new principal now and I feel she doesn't understand the pressure some of us feel when she sends a letter saying all children must complete all the work everyday!

@Lucylivesinamushroomhouse I could have written your post. That's exactly how I feel word for word.

I am relieved to have found my people

The pressure from school comes from the demands of many people that schools offer live teaching and enough work to cover the whole school day. There is also an expectation that children attend google meets as well. I am a teacher and I really do sympathise with parents and children trying to keep up with this. Just do your best and try not to stress. The teachers are under an obligation to keep checking and asking about work. I am doing so but feel really sorry for parents struggling with several children, lack of laptops and struggling to get kids logged on and able to keep going all day.

I feel the same and after a minor breakdown decided to ignore school and do it my way. Like I did in the last lockdown. Much better today.

If anyone objects, tough shit, I can’t do what they’re asking of me.

@UndertheCedartree yea I understand that. We’re getting similar vibes from our school. I think that’s because now they have to cover the curriculum where they didn’t before.

Still I think you have to prioritise your famil6’s welfare. I imagine as long as you are doing some things each day the school will happy.

Are they expecting her to hand work in?

Maybe you should email the teacher and tell her your struggling due to health needs and having another child to support and that you’ll only be doing half a day from now on. You could ask what activities on the time table are most important so you can cover those even if you don’t get other stuff done.

@whatisheupto - thank you - I've been thinking of trying some vitamins.
@worriedandannoyed - thank you
@crimsonlake - this is definitely much more than they do at school. 2 hours would probably get us through 1 lesson and perhaps the reading
@Lucylivesinamushroomhouse - I think it's pretty amazing you've managed anything! It was splitting myself between the 2 age groups that killed me last time but I've not even done that this week - my eldest has been ignored! I feel the guilt too. I imagine everyone else just sailing through it. It didn't help that someone wrote on the main feed on Tuesday 'Can we have some harder work please?'!!

@UndertheCedartree eurgh that’s the WORST!!! Occasionally I’ve sort of written a bit about our struggles on the class WhatsApp group but seems like everyone else is doing fine (or if they are struggling they don’t want to mention it). I’ve just decided to be really honest with the teacher and tell her that what she’s setting is too much and it’s overwhelming. My daughter is just totally discouraged because she can’t complete it all in a day and the only way she could would be if I completely ignored my other two children (nursery also closed sadly)!

@Commonwasher - I'm sorry to hear you're struggling too and I hope you feel better soon - Covid is horrible.
@studychick81 - she actually loves Art (and Music) and normally does quite a bit at school but there is no Art (1 Music) on this week's timetable at least. 3 of the lessons per day are Maths or English and then 1 a day is something else History/French/P.E/PSHE and a Music lesson.