Learning at home: I can't keep this up - exhausted and depressed!

[UndertheCedartree]

I'm feeling so anxious and depressed about it all. I feel so much pressure from school unlike last lockdown. This isn't about blaming the school - I'm well aware probably half the school feel it is too much and half not enough!

This is for my Y4 DD we have been given a timetable covering lesson 1, break, lesson 2, lesson 3, lunch, lesson 4, reading. My DD needs quite a lot of support and the lessons are taking us 1-2hrs. This week I've spent hours every day with her until she can't stare at a screen anymore when she's done some arts and crafts and played her keyboard. She's only done half the work. I've done nothing with my eldest and DD has had the notebook all day which can't happen next week she will have to share it. I've not been able to do barely any housework or anything for myself. I have Long Covid as well as a serious mental health condition and every afternoon I have just felt like death as I am so exhausted physically and mentally. I can't keep this up

Agree with cansu

The pressure from school comes from the demands of many people that schools offer live teaching and enough work to cover the whole school day. There is also an expectation that children attend google meets as well. I am a teacher and I really do sympathise with parents and children trying to keep up with this. Just do your best and try not to stress. The teachers are under an obligation to keep checking and asking about work. I am doing so but feel really sorry for parents struggling with several children, lack of laptops and struggling to get kids logged on and able to keep going all day.

There was a lot of resentment last lockdown that private schools had a full day of learning & teachers were delivering live lessons. So this is why you're in this position. There were many on MN pushing for this too.

I think you should do the morning session - so maybe focus on maths/English and then dip in and out of the other stuff. Maybe message school and explain and see what they recommend.

I don't imagine any teacher having a go at a student who hasn't managed to complete every single task in lockdown. The tasks are being set for those parents who made a fuss last time.

@Piccalino3 - I know what you mean - I used to sit down with a coffee when I got back from the school run and enjoy the peace for a while. And my house is a tip too...which just depresses me even more!

In that case. I would do maths/English in the morning, then after lunch do art- look some ideas up online or 1/2 choice of what she waves to do.

@MoonlightMedicine - me too! Thank you everyone! I feel better already!

It is incredibly stressful, have you spoken to your dc's schools (especially dd) they may be able to give you some support. It sounds as if the work level isn't right for her? Perhaps they could set her something else or signpost you to something that she'd gel with more. The main things schools actually need to see is that you're engaging with learning so maybe chat to them and come up with a more manageable plan than the one they've set.
These ambitious timetables are a result of top down pressure to provide a good remote learning experience but hopefully they'll meet you halfway.

Ignore what the school emails about having to do all the work say.

The head has to demonstrate that they’re providing an education in a way they didn’t have to prove last time. Otherwise all those pushy parents with time to spare will be complaining to Ofsted. Nothing will actually happen if you do t get it all done. Please don’t be too hard on yourself.

This was me in the first half of the last school closure. Bitesize Daily saved us.

This time round I told school on Tuesday we couldn't do the live lessons with three DCs sharing one device. Some work is being posted but so far we've been getting out in the daylight hours, reading, spellings and times tables, games, puzzles, colouring, lego, TV.

From next week we're going to watch the CBBC primary programming, do Joe Wicks workouts as well as going to the park, use Bitesize lessons online, read lots, continue with the other games as well. That way we might make it to half term, or if it has to be Easter, keeping mostly sane.

I've learnt to prioritise housework etc too, then fit a bit of homeschooling round that rather than the other way round. If we're all at home the house needs to be clean and (relatively) tidy.

Thank god I'm not alone. Two dc's. Yr 7&9. School is insisting they follow the timetable to the minute. Work missed or not to an acceptable standard is cheesed with an email. If it still isn't good enough then there is a sanction. I'm shattered, my eldest can't focus without constant supervision. My guess is that he gets away by being charming at school. My youngest is more self motivated but still needs input frequently. Our WiFi struggles, thankfully they have a laptop each but there's a lack of consistency of where to find the work to be done, so bits are missed, then I get a snotty email. I'm not very tech savvy, so struggling to work the systems.
I'm working part time too.
Only been at it four days but I'm completely worn out.

@cansu - It does seem strange when surely school know that families have more than 1 child, don't have laptops for everyone, also have to work/do childcare/pace due to Long Covid etc etc. But I do see the pressure schools are under to do 'more' all the time from some of the posts on here.

I'm alone with 3 DCs and also not able to keep up - I wrote to my eldest's teacher and she said like others here that parents and the government have pressured them to provide more, but that they're very sympathetic to different circumstances. She asked that I focus on English and maths and treat the rest as nice but optional. Maybe your dad's teacher could also help with some guidance?

I’ve struggled to manage it with wfh as well. I haven’t had time to leave the house since Sunday and the kids have had one brief trip to the local corner shop 3 days ago. We’re all pretty destroyed at the moment.

Dads? DD's!!!!

I feel this too! I have a yr 3 and yr 1 to do lessons with also a 2 year old running about. My house is a tip also and that drives me bonkers. Plan is to get through tomo and spend the weekend catching up on jobs that has been left even more so as we have had xmas and all that needs putting away, that was supposed to be my job on mon when the kids went back but hey ho!

@converseandjeans - I honestly don't understand those people - but I've seen plenty of them on here!

Same OP, it’s a nightmare.
I’m having heart palpitations, I’m so stressed.
Self employed company director, and literally no work done this week, as having to sit and supervise DD.

@studychick81 - yes, good idea, thank you.
@ChristmasinJune - I have actually spoken to her pastoral care teacher who was very much 'do what you can' but then get another message from the principal saying 'all children are expected to complete all the work everyday starting at 9am'.

It's blooming hard none of us signed up for this, I have twins In Year 6 and I spent my day off helping them with ww2 and English grammar follow3d by fractions, my daughter lost it in the final fraction and had a massive screaming and crying and throwing things at me tantrum, every day this week someone has cried, I walked out and sat in my car and wept. Tomorrow I have to work from home and I don't know how i will cope. I am a keyworker I have contacted the school and asked if there are places for them as the pressure is going to send me over the edge especially from my daughter.

It’s completely shit isn’t it I have a 11 year old who loses her shit over everything and has been in her room all week online schooling & stressed to fuck. A 14 yr old with Autism who hasn’t the slightest what is happening in the world & looks at me like I have two heads when I ask him to do so school work. I cried all day yesterday but took my sorry arse out for a 40 minute run this morning & feel loads better. Sending you all hugs xx

We managed about 20 mins today. Kids aged 7 & 3. It was a beautiful day (cold and sunny) so we took a walk this afternoon. Played tag in a local recreational ground and they did a ‘show’ on a wall we found.

20 mins of schooling = nagging, moaning and u happy kids.
Show on a wall= laughter, silliness & smiles.

My attitude this time round is completely different. Mental health comes first this time. I will try some schooling every day, morning only, but other than reading which will be prioritised everyday, I’m not going to force it. I won’t survive, kids will be miserable and the winter will be very very long!

underthecedartree a parent set up a Facebook group last lockdown about the school DD goes to. The aim being to force more live lessons. By this point DD was struggling to motivate herself to do any work. The school did respond with providing live lessons, but it caused no end of stress for us. I think they wanted a full day of live lessons like private schools were getting.

We're both teachers and so can actually help our children but we struggled too. It's just not the same trying to work from home (as in we were setting work for our own classes) and trying to get our own children to do the work they had been set.

I think you will find you're not alone! I was gutted when they closed schools the other day :(

@ChristmasinJune - I'm not sure about the work level. She's usually pretty average level at school. She had to do a lesson all about nouns, adjectives, verbs and adverbs today which always seems strange to me as I never learnt about them until I started French in secondary school. So it often feels to me that a lot is expected of them at a young age. I think the Oak lessons are good but very full on.

There are very specific expectations on schools set by the government, including that they provide 3-5 hours worth of learning a day (depending on age of child).

Schools and teachers know that this is unrealistic for many families, particularly where there are multiple children, limited devices and/or parents also trying to juggle work.

But if schools don't provide it, Gavin Williamson has actively encouraged parents to complain and report to ofsted.

I teach Reception and have already had emails from parents saying they are struggling to cope, despite the fact I know we are actually expecting less than some other local schools and have tried to make things as flexible as possible.

If I learnt anything from the first lockdown, it's that you can't please everyone and someone will always complain.

@UndertheCedartree what year is your 2nd child. Could they get up later and do their school work later in day.
I have 3
y8 check googleclassroom on a phone and does work manually and takes a photo to send to school.
Y11 have to keep her on task so most time spent with her
Y13 works independently and helps the y11 with maths.
They set a timer off half hour each subject and move to the next one and if not finished. Finish another day.

It’s the trickle down effect. Schools are under so much pressure (ministers actively telling parents to complain to Ofsted). They can’t do anything other than up the workload/ pressure and parents get the worst of it.

You have my sympathy

I honestly think people think they need to do more than they actually do.
Unless your dc are in private school, they will be in classes of 30 children.
1:1,time is gold.

It's worth so much more than being in a huge class. You shouldn't need to be ploughing through for hours and hours. I would with dc below year 5 concentrate on the core, reading, words, comprehension, time tables....

I say this with some small experience when I faced a mountain last year with wfh and no school support.

I realised quite quickly that I could either keep the sessions short and give dd lashings of whatever she wanted, also keep her attention, enthusiasm or I could push her, have arguments, she didn't listen to me and we wasted lots of time arguing.

I worried initially because everyone else seemed to be doing hours and hours!
Dd came on immeasurably with the 1:1,short bursts and learned so much more when she was happy!