Learning at home: I can't keep this up - exhausted and depressed!

[UndertheCedartree]

I'm feeling so anxious and depressed about it all. I feel so much pressure from school unlike last lockdown. This isn't about blaming the school - I'm well aware probably half the school feel it is too much and half not enough!

This is for my Y4 DD we have been given a timetable covering lesson 1, break, lesson 2, lesson 3, lunch, lesson 4, reading. My DD needs quite a lot of support and the lessons are taking us 1-2hrs. This week I've spent hours every day with her until she can't stare at a screen anymore when she's done some arts and crafts and played her keyboard. She's only done half the work. I've done nothing with my eldest and DD has had the notebook all day which can't happen next week she will have to share it. I've not been able to do barely any housework or anything for myself. I have Long Covid as well as a serious mental health condition and every afternoon I have just felt like death as I am so exhausted physically and mentally. I can't keep this up

@BakeNVac - I'm just so grateful we don't have live lessons. My DD would just be in tears the whole time. Poor little things. The amount of staring at a screen already is awful. Sometimes her little eyes start to close and I say no more.

My eldest is Y9 and ASD and cannot cope with live lessons. He's done nothing this week. I need a plan for him for next week. I hope you get some relaxation this weekend.

@Kokeshi123 - yes, she does play an instrument but she's only had time for it once this week and she loves Art and yes, could do it by herself if she had the time and energy after the endless school work!

I hear you. Totally agree - not the teachers fault at all but last time lockdown was much easier than this timetabled pressure.

The ability to go out for a walk - play in the garden earlier in the day or whenever suited you was lovely.Now my year 7 starts at 8.30 - 2.40, year 4 and year 1 start at 9.30- 3.30. Doesn't leave much time for creativity or tailoring learning to what they are interested in.

I would be tempted to pick and choose what looked the most useful to us, we could do some more active learning around it but having been sent a timetable the children get anxious if they don't complete and submit work. We've had tears about not presenting work correctly, starting lessons late, printer malfunctioning and WiFi dropping out. It doesn't matter if I say not to worry it will be OK if not all completed, they worry and insist everything is done.

Yesterday my nine year old eyes were hurting from looking at the screen all day. There is very little time for housework or food prep of simply fun for the children.

The teachers have been doing a great job - I would hate to do myself but there is a lot of wasted time . I'm sure if left to cover the work independently we could do it in a morning and have the rest of the day free.

I don't what the answer is but I'm not sure we can face many more weeks of this 😔

I think I would just do reading and a tiny bit of hand in math - but in a practical way - how many spoons do we need for our breakfast fast, or on a walk let’s count red cars. That kind of thing. And playing and read stories to her while sitting together with a snack. She is 4 and will catch up.
And for you a good multi vitamin and lots of vitamin D and rest when you can.

OP you are not alone trust me!

I am a single parent and teacher working from home so I can see both sides of the coin and no-one expects you to be a superhero.

Last lockdown the first 2-3weeks were awful but then I got into a nice routine so I am reminding myself of that now knowing that it will get better and trying to get into a routine as quick as possible knowing it makes life so much easier!

As teachers we’re getting a lot more pressure than last lockdown to actively progress children because we can’t afford to create even more gaps in their learning which all children have from last lockdown even those who had an active engaged parent. I have to run Y2 intervention groups on TEAMs which I’m not overly excited for.
If you’re really struggling you might be able to get your child into school as a vulnerable child. Last year, we had a child come in early May after mum’s mental health really decreased.
Also, please just speak to the teacher, they’ll likely tell you to focus on the maths and English as there will be a massive gap if she doesn’t write for 2 months but it’s not the end of the world if she doesn’t engage in the geography topic. Try sitting down for 15 mins then have a break, then another 15 mins.
I’m doing welfare calls to every child tomorrow and am looking for feedback bc I’m not 100% sure everything I’ve planned will work so please feedback! My planning had to cater SEN-G&T as well as taking into account some children will have 1:1 parents all day and others will be left on their own with limited input and internet access as parents work/ look after siblings. We were told to pick topics esp in Maths that parents could cope without relearning and lots of resources. I already know some changes I need to make based on emails I’ve received.

This makes a change from another thread I was reading just the other day. On that thread they were complaint that there’s not enough work for DC.
I have 3 young kids and totally sympathise. I also WFH and so does DH. Last lockdown was a lot more relaxing with family. Enjoying cooking, spending time together etc
I honestly don’t know how long me and DH can cope wfh, homeschooling 2 primary kids and looking after a baby. It’s non stop. I am entitled to key worker place, but I’ve heard they have a lot of students already in. I haven’t taken up the offer as I don’t want the additional worry of having to deal with covid (we are low risk, but I don’t want to still risk it) and also I think there’s probably more people who need the spaces more than us (single mums, vulnerable families etc)

I love abroad and schools here have been shut since March. My three primary children were without school for shy of 10 months. It is torture for most of the children. Education is just a very small bit of what happens to children when out of school and their social context for long. I hope it will not be too long until they can go back in for you. Stay strong people, I feel for you all.

@Piccalino3

I agree with you OP. I have 3 kids 6 and younger. The 1 year old isn't in nursery and so I can only attempt home learning during his nap. I get 4 hours peace a week and now that's gone. Today I felt so upset, sad, angry and resentful. My house is a tip, I can't get anything done, we're not doing enough learning, whatever I do I feel guilty and I was sick of the drudgery before Covid. Argh!!!!!

Ditto

@ArosAdraDrosDolig

I feel the same and after a minor breakdown decided to ignore school and do it my way. Like I did in the last lockdown. Much better today.

If anyone objects, tough shit, I can’t do what they’re asking of me.

Did I post this?! As soon as I saw the timetable I thought ‘no chance’! We sign my child into the 45minute online daily lesson so the school can tick the box they need to. Tbh my child got nothing from the lesson and didn’t finish the work. I’ve had no negative feedback from the school so far.🤞 I feel lucky they don’t want longer live sessions, my internet connection would suddenly be very dodgy!

My primary kids are in the top end of class and are struggling. Y1 DC generally likes reading and will happily write realms. She had an hour off between 930 and 6 today. She is understandably fed up and has said that it's too much work and far more than gets at school. There are several thirty minute videos to watch, then worksheets, writing and tasks. Our printer broke this week which hasn't helped. She can work quite independently, but work is put up in various locations and half of it I struggle to find (dB primary).

It's the volume - the work is not challenging her but there's just so much of it. It's also messing around finding things, downloading, uploading, getting locked out. It's not just being able to photograph work and upload on a phone, but photograph, then email, then download, then embed in a document, then PDF it and then upload. Oh and apparently I'm meant to try to be in a room alone with my DC (reception) whilst he's on zoom and somehow also look after the baby. A client called to offer me work today (mat leave finished)...there is absolutely no way is there?!

Ironically, if school sent less, my kids would learn more as I would just give them a harder add-on. DC reception can read and do basic maths but is sitting through zooms practising letter sounds and counting to ten - with worksheets etc, taking lots of time up but not learning.

I'm a secondary teacher. Schools have a legal obligation to provide online learning. This has been interpreted as live learning by most schools. Gavin Williamson then piled the pressure on teachers (also parents wfh) by telling parents to report them to Ofsted if they were not satisfied. Crucially, in March 2020 the curriculum was suspended so that technically children were in a holding pattern with no requirement to cover new material. Parents on social media were very vocal about gettiing one worksheet a week so schools have responded accordingly. I think it will ease off as this isn't sustainable.

Ps from another thread...
You could take your thoughts about pressure on schools and children and their parents here...

Schools and teachers were given just over 12 hours notice. Gavin Williamson is asking parents to complain to Ofsted if the learning isn't good enough.
Instead, may I suggest, as a parent if you are happy with what your child/ren’s school is providing for remote learning, you could always let Ofsted know that instead.

Email: [email protected]
Twitter: @Ofstednews

@Barkleyspaubles

I'm a secondary teacher. Schools have a legal obligation to provide online learning. This has been interpreted as live learning by most schools. Gavin Williamson then piled the pressure on teachers (also parents wfh) by telling parents to report them to Ofsted if they were not satisfied. Crucially, in March 2020 the curriculum was suspended so that technically children were in a holding pattern with no requirement to cover new material. Parents on social media were very vocal about gettiing one worksheet a week so schools have responded accordingly. I think it will ease off as this isn't sustainable.

This. However, I think that although the curriculum was suspended in March, some schools/teachers provided a sensible amount of stuff and some took the view that as the curriculum was suspended, they could do sweet FA. I think teachers have had a rough deal through the pandemic, my kids teachers are working really hard now, BUT that doesn't mean I think a five minute exercise a day earlier in the year was acceptable.

[quote UndertheCedartree]@ChristmasinJune - I'm not sure about the work level. She's usually pretty average level at school. She had to do a lesson all about nouns, adjectives, verbs and adverbs today which always seems strange to me as I never learnt about them until I started French in secondary school. So it often feels to me that a lot is expected of them at a young age. I think the Oak lessons are good but very full on.[/quote]
Nouns, adjectives, verbs and adverbs are very much part of the primary curriculum now. By year 4 the curriculum is quite demanding I think, it's become increasingly so over the last few years.

sortmylifeoutplease YY, you've hit the nail on the head. We are getting hours upon hours of work, but it isn't particularly stretching and has little to no differentiation. I would also happily give harder add ons myself but there isn't the time (or inclination from DCs) once the filler has been done.

My dc's school says they need to do the work according to daily schedule. We don't, because we aren't in school. We just do set amount daily, even the work doesn't finish, it would be same at school. You can't just keep on doing work until it's finished.

It's so hard. I have a yr 6, yr 5 and yr 1. The amount of work we are getting sent meant we will still completing it at 5 yesterday afternoon. My children all need a fair bit of support and I am being dragged in three directions at once, not blaming the teachers for this at all, but it's so hard...my yr5 has suspected adhd and cant do any work unless I am sat next to him. Add to this I am trying to do coursework of my own and doing a terrible job of it. I woke up last night night having a massive panic attack thinking this could go on til the summer holidays.

I am reading this in horror .It all sounds dreadful .No way on earth could I have coped .

Lots of v good advice on here .

and all round .

I can definitely relate to this thread, and by the sounds of it DDs school are going easy on us!! She is Y3, doesn't have live lessons and so far this year they have set 4 pieces of work each day which is managable.

The first lockdown I drove myself to the brink of a mental breakdown, working (part time in the office), home schooling, taking care of highly demanding toddler and keeping on top of housework. I piled too much on my plate and the pressure was too much.

I am devastated the schools arw closed but I recognise they had to. This time round I'm determined not to go back to the horrible person I was the first lockdown. We will manage what school work we can, and I will not hesitate to email her teacher to explain our circumstances and what our limitations are. We are going out for a walk at least once a day, whatever the weather. We have made good use of our wellies! And this time round I'm going to explain the work to DD and leave it to her to work through. The last time I babied her so she got everything right, before realising it didn't give her teached an accurate idea of where she actually was, so this time I'm going to try letting her be a little bit more independent. That way I will not have to deal with the clingy toddler wanting my attention and me shouting at DD because I'm so stressed!

OP, I would email the head and outline your situation, let him/her know exactly the amount of work you will aim to complete and that it is not realistic to have everything completed and submitted and you will not be making yourself and your child miserable in trying to do this.

@HadleysHope1 - I'm so sorry to hear how much you are struggling. Having to try and switch between work one is doing and then the other just scrambles my brain!

I woke up this morning feeling awful. Weak, sore throat and glands, headache and just shattered. Unfortunately this is what happens with the Long Covid if I don't get enough rest. So we're having a break from the timetable today. DS is meeting his friend for a socially distanced coffee in the park this morning. I am going to rest while DD does Arts and crafts and plays her keyboard. Then later I'll set her up with some of the games on Bitesize.

@grool - I am going to try and get DD to be a bit more independant but often it is easier just to sit with her than try and start a job and keep getting pulled away from it for help with the work, the internet's gone off, I've lost my pencil, I'm hungry!!

Yes definitely! We just did 3D shapes and had to identify the number of edges each shape has. Despite me explaining how to count the edges she kept just making random guesses and I ended up snapping at her as I don't understand why she can't grasp it. Not a good start, but it feels like it just goes in 1 ear and out the other! I even found objects around the house so she had something physical to look at and touch thinking that would help 😕

We are the house of a million pencils, as well as Christmas biscuits. Come and take some of ours 😁

If I was in this situation I would be a) expecting my kids to get on with whatever lessons had been provided for them b) if they need extra support because they have SEN and normal have a TA, I would tell the school I cannot provide that support because I am WFH or because I don't have the time or skills and c) I would be I volving them in learning how to place online shopping orders, how to sort food storage status n.preparation for deliveries, how to put the delivery away, how to budget, meal plan, cook, clean, pay bills, write cheques, process washing, ironing, putting linen away, changing beds, how to clean toilets, bathrooms, all the rooms in the house. So much they learn, do, contribute to, and all of that is extremely useful education.

I have ditched the online learning set by school and am working on our own learning. If the school are unhappy that’s a shame but I can’t humanly do what they are asking of me.

@grool - oh, we have plenty of pencils - they just all go and hide when one is required apparently! DD was doing the guessing thing yesterday - infuriating!