There is nothing in my children’s lives

[Howdydooo]

It’s all been taken away again.

I know it’s a pandemic. I know it’s temporary (but don’t know how temporary).

Screens are no substitute for friends.

They will not be fooled again by home structure and schooling. They have nowhere to go, no one to see and nowhere to go. And they know how long it went on for last time.

I agree @MarshaBradyo

A complete lack of understanding about mental health issues (well at bombs aren’t falling on you?!)

It doesn’t work like that unfortunately.

@WhatwouldAnneFrankthinkofus

"Yes, it's a change to everyone's routine and usual lifestyle. But you need to get some perspective .I am assuming you live in the UK, a rich country which gives children plenty of opportunities and a reasonably good welfare system to fall back on. Your children have electricity , gas, screens ,clean water, food in their bellies and a warm bed to sleep in. You can't really say there is nothing in your children's lives. They are very lucky to have what they already have. You need to look further afield to see what children from poorer countries have to deal with. You'll see real suffering. You'll see children who truly don't have anything in their lives. Then you'll realise you have no right to complain. The children in this country have a lot in life when compared to a lot of children around the world - but its just never enough. The parents sense of entitlement is rubbing off on children and the slightest inconvenience is a big issue.
I was complaining that I had no shoes till I met a man who had no feet"

This 1000000times!

It's a shit time yes, but I'm sorry we have it easy, playgrounds are still open, we can still go out, so what if it's cold, dress up well and take the kids to the park! Let them ride a bike, use a scooter, find something to do outside. If you work go before you start or after.
We could have it worse, say like an 8pm-6am curfew like France right now.
Most kids need a reality check, let them understand that right now there's a reason why we have this lockdown, it'll last a few months or whatever. Maybe by next year, hopefully the virus will have disappeared and can go back to normal, they can go back to school, they can see their friends again. This is not going to take their childhood away forever, they are lucky to have technology, a home, a bed and food.
I'd like to see them live in Iraq where electricity is cut off every 2-4hrs, and you'll be lucky if you can afford to buy a generator just so it can keep the fridge on and for lights to work.
You just need to find ways to make the most of your day, no point complaining all the time.

I'm fed up of this too but I'm just staying positive because I know it's not going to last forever.

Fembot123
U made me cry thank u xxxxxx

Well believe it or not in a rich country, even in Non-Covid times many children suffer mental health issues let alone now. I’m sure they’ll feel better though if we tell them it’s worse in Iraq though.

I think some people are thinking of they’re own risk when they post scathingly about teens and young children. Pretty bad as adults.

@devilish

Fembot123 U made me cry thank u xxxxxx

Well it’s true 😊

I'd like to see them live in Iraq where electricity is cut off every 2-4hrs

Really? You'd actually like that?

@PinkyU

Honestly I think you’re massively catastrophising. Your kids aren’t in danger, they’re not being shot at, smuggled for labour or paedophile gangs. They’re not suffering from a terminal illness or watching their sibling or parent die.

They’re in an uncomfortable and difficult situation that’s different to what they’re used to. They can safely access emotional or mental health support should they require it.

I know that’s probably not what you want to hear, but surely some proportion is required here.

Having worked in a children’s hospice and seen actual childhoods be damaged.

This is sensible. We're all in this together. A world-wide pandemic. It's not ideal but what do we all expect to happen?

formerbabe
They will then have a reason to complain if that's how we had to live.... Oh dear I can't see my friends for so long I'm distraught. We're privelaged to live in this day and age with the amount of things we have available to us. Yes the pandemic has changed a lot but it's not the end of the world.
I haven't been able to enjoy my parents company since it all started, I see them from a distance outside their house once every 2weeks. Pre-covid I used to stay over once a week with my 2 kids and I am counting the days when I can smother them with my hugs and kisses.

[quote ArDali1]@WhatwouldAnneFrankthinkofus

"Yes, it's a change to everyone's routine and usual lifestyle. But you need to get some perspective .I am assuming you live in the UK, a rich country which gives children plenty of opportunities and a reasonably good welfare system to fall back on. Your children have electricity , gas, screens ,clean water, food in their bellies and a warm bed to sleep in. You can't really say there is nothing in your children's lives. They are very lucky to have what they already have. You need to look further afield to see what children from poorer countries have to deal with. You'll see real suffering. You'll see children who truly don't have anything in their lives. Then you'll realise you have no right to complain. The children in this country have a lot in life when compared to a lot of children around the world - but its just never enough. The parents sense of entitlement is rubbing off on children and the slightest inconvenience is a big issue.
I was complaining that I had no shoes till I met a man who had no feet"

This 1000000times!

It's a shit time yes, but I'm sorry we have it easy, playgrounds are still open, we can still go out, so what if it's cold, dress up well and take the kids to the park! Let them ride a bike, use a scooter, find something to do outside. If you work go before you start or after.
We could have it worse, say like an 8pm-6am curfew like France right now.
Most kids need a reality check, let them understand that right now there's a reason why we have this lockdown, it'll last a few months or whatever. Maybe by next year, hopefully the virus will have disappeared and can go back to normal, they can go back to school, they can see their friends again. This is not going to take their childhood away forever, they are lucky to have technology, a home, a bed and food.
I'd like to see them live in Iraq where electricity is cut off every 2-4hrs, and you'll be lucky if you can afford to buy a generator just so it can keep the fridge on and for lights to work.
You just need to find ways to make the most of your day, no point complaining all the time.

I'm fed up of this too but I'm just staying positive because I know it's not going to last forever.[/quote]
Yes!

I haven't been able to enjoy my parents company since it all started, I see them from a distance outside their house once every 2weeks. Pre-covid I used to stay over once a week with my 2 kids and I am counting the days when I can smother them with my hugs and kisses

You seem to enjoy competitive misery so I'll join in and say I don't think it's in the least bit sad a grown adult hasn't seen mummy and daddy for a few months...thank your lucky stars you still have them.

Btw my PP I meant the kids who have it all need a reality check. I know there are kids with actual genuine problems, like the ones who are homeless, who do not have family support etc.

All we do around school work is work. And my youngest doesn't even get to do that much school work because it involves too much supervision and help. Thank goodness my eldest can get on with her schoolwork pretty independently but it is pretty rubbish for them. And to be honest, all the suggestions for how to make it better make me feel just pants. Getting out of the house seems impossible as it just takes too long. I started work at 7am and have only just stopped, fitting in bits of necessary childcare and household tasks in the spare minutes. It is awful for them, but I still wouldn't argue for a different course of action. As a parent in SE London I know how fast it was spreading amongst our school community, with children, parents, grandparents and teachers getting ill. You could see it moving from person to person like dominos and the only connection these people had was the school. Schools have been the superspreaders, and the government's failure to make schooling safe last term was a catastrophic failure of leadership. It probably wouldn't have looked much like "normal" school, and would have been difficult and involved lots of investment, but nothing was even attempted. If testing in schools had been up and running in the Autumn. If we'd closed for a circuit breaker earlier. If older students had worn masks in classrooms. If Secondary schools had worked to a rota to allow actual social distancing in lessons. If money had been available to fix poor ventilation. All these things have been done in other countries and they all could have reduced spread. And no one talks about the failure of track and trace anymore, like we've just given up. What use is being told to isolate, when you only have 3 days of isolation left (yes, that did happen to me). And don't even get me started on the contradictory messaging from the government and their confusing Tier system and Cummings. This was not all inevitable, this could have been prevented. I do hope the teenagers and young people of today realise this, and that they make sure that we never have a government as incompetent as this one again.

Children are very resilient. They won't have long term mental health problems, particularly if you put a positive spin on it and don't sit around moaning about how awful their lives are. Organise school activities, take them out, encourage self sufficiency, talk to their friends online. This time next year, they will have forgotten this. Many families will still be mourning the loss of grandparents and parents.

My kids bloody love it!

@Haggertyjane

Children are very resilient. They won't have long term mental health problems, particularly if you put a positive spin on it and don't sit around moaning about how awful their lives are. Organise school activities, take them out, encourage self sufficiency, talk to their friends online. This time next year, they will have forgotten this. Many families will still be mourning the loss of grandparents and parents.

This is total bollocks

formerbabe

At least I know I'm grateful to still have them alive. As I am grateful to be alive myself. I'm not moaning about what I can or can't do, I'm getting on with my life as generations have been able to with previous pandemics, war etc.

Most children will be ok but there is no doubt some will either develop mental health problems or have existing problems worsened by the events of the last 12 months. Not everybody is resilient and some people's circumstances are much more difficult than others. Whilst catastrophising is never helpful I dont think "looking on the bright dide" or "counting your blessings" is a universal panacea either.

Many children have mental health issues and more will after this.

Yes some are very resilient too. But not ‘all children’.

Can we not be so dismissive and try and have some empathy!

It’s odd to hear people be so dismissive of children’s mental health. Usually adults / parents care and look after this as a top priority.

I know. Even in normal times let alone a pandemic.

@Porcupineintherough

Most children will be ok but there is no doubt some will either develop mental health problems or have existing problems worsened by the events of the last 12 months. Not everybody is resilient and some people's circumstances are much more difficult than others. Whilst catastrophising is never helpful I dont think "looking on the bright dide" or "counting your blessings" is a universal panacea either.

Yes. I'm a counsellor and spent this afternoon listening to distraught teenagers, some suicidal. School provides so much more than an education. Teenagers aren't adults so our experience of this is nothing like what they are experiencing. There are plenty for whom this will leave little mark...for others it'll be devastating. As someone who grew up with the constant threat of bombs, not knowing if my dad would come home from work or being escorted to my school bus by the army, I can tell you these things will affect young minds. Empathy is important... OP I can't give you any advice... Just listen to them, love them and protect them as best you can.

@Haggertyjane

Children are very resilient. They won't have long term mental health problems, particularly if you put a positive spin on it and don't sit around moaning about how awful their lives are. Organise school activities, take them out, encourage self sufficiency, talk to their friends online. This time next year, they will have forgotten this. Many families will still be mourning the loss of grandparents and parents.

Absolute bollocks.

They are allowed to meet a friend for exercise outside.

I agree with most of the posts on here - of course it’s horrendously difficult and unprecedented; but equally people have weathered far worse. However , your children absolutely do not “ have nothing” - they have at the very least, a concerned and loving parent ; they have food, clothing, a roof over their head; they have tv, gadgets, music, books and board games ; they have fresh air and are able to exercise. They can create and have fun. Many, many children ( refugees, prisoners of war, suddenly sick or severely disabled or impoverished) would give anything for this to be their “ nothing”. Your children have a future. Yes they will miss friendships, school, holidays and all the activities they perhaps normally do - but they will take their lead from you, and now is the time to attempt to model being appreciative of small things and developing resilience - these times WILL end and how they remember them is very much in your hands. Saying they have “ nothing” will surely not help.