There is nothing in my children’s lives

[Howdydooo]

It’s all been taken away again.

I know it’s a pandemic. I know it’s temporary (but don’t know how temporary).

Screens are no substitute for friends.

They will not be fooled again by home structure and schooling. They have nowhere to go, no one to see and nowhere to go. And they know how long it went on for last time.

It’s ridiculous. I hope the kids of today remember in future how adults failed them

Do you? Are you always so fucking miserable? My kids haven't been failed by anyone. If yours have, probably best to look at your own failings before anyone else.

As for the person who wishes their children had never been born because of this...you need serious professional help. Call someone today.

Also not all the vulnerable live alone, they live with families, do we shield their families too?

Why not?

@Dongdingdong well on a thread about the terrible deal children and young people are getting it does seem a little strange to suggest that locking down some children indefinitely doesn't matter.

@Dongdingdong so it's ok for other peoples children to have nothing in their lives as long as everyone else can have their freedom. As after all shielding is more restrictive than the tiers.
My dh is ECV and two of my dds are either diagnosed SEN or about to be. One requires face to face therapy.
Thank God the vaccine is coming and some of the selfish people on Mumsnet are not making the decisions.
With this and the vaccine thread today I am switching off.

@Dongdingdong

Also not all the vulnerable live alone, they live with families, do we shield their families too?

Why not?

@Dongdingdong You do realise if we were to shield the vulnerable and their families then that would be many children you are asking to be locked away. How does that make any sense? Also some family members may also be schools staff so once again we will have school staffing issues. Not to mention many family members of the vulnerable will be key workers too.

Give up on non critical care? Bit extreme

It’s pretty well happening anyway. At least this way staff could be redeployed

Also how do you scale up the nhs? Even money can’t buy us enough nhs staff.

As I’ve said about 5 times now, redeploy and upskill current staff

then that would be many children you are asking to be locked away. How does that make any sense?

The alternative is locking them ALL away. How is that better?

It's pretty much happened anyway

No it hasn't

Think about the UK during the war. People were in danger of dying every day and lasted 6 years.
I'm sure we can find some grit. As a parent I feel is my responsibility to set the tone. I am optimistic that we are going to be ok and that confidence has to be there. I think you are feeding the doom and gloom. We are going to be ok we need to believe that.

No it hasn't

It’s certainly getting there.

You do realise if we were to shield the vulnerable and their families then that would be many children you are asking to be locked away. How does that make any sense?

It makes sense when you realise that what she wants his for HER children to be able to play with their friends while YOUR children are locked in their house for years.
She wants her children to live good lives at the direct expense of yours.

Think about the UK during the war. People were in danger of dying every day and lasted 6 years.

For context. Datawatch on front page of FT today. Covid-19 caused more deaths in the UK last year than the civilian deaths throughout the whole WW2. Admittedly with a very different age distribution. But still.

Well since July kids have had periods in school. Many have had periods with little restriction so have been able to resume activities. In the Summer the river was heaving with kids canoeing etc.
Scouting and Guiding have had some face to face sessions .
Swimming lessons and football etc have resumed at times.
They have been able to meet up with friends etc. Hell Safari parks are still open now.
None of this is anything like shielding. Fed up of over dramatic types. Hell someone even likened it to Flowers in the Attic

@TheKeatingFive Yes certain services gave been curtailed because people are being redeployed just as you suggested a couple of posts back.

And it makes sense. No point offering my 87 year old MiL the hip replacement that was cancelled last April as it is not safe for her to go into hospital right now. My ds' appointment with orthopedics can wait.

But my friend was diagnosed with breast cancer in November, op in Dec and her follow up treatment will continue as planned. As will another friend's vit b12 injections.

Some treatments are delayed, or paused but it is not yet critical care or nothing and measures such as the lockdown you hate so much are aimed at stopping it getting to that point.

@IceIceBebe

You do realise if we were to shield the vulnerable and their families then that would be many children you are asking to be locked away. How does that make any sense?

It makes sense when you realise that what she wants his for HER children to be able to play with their friends while YOUR children are locked in their house for years.
She wants her children to live good lives at the direct expense of yours.

Yeah it’s very obvious what @TheKeatingFive is wanting. I can’t understand how people think it will work if we lock so many people down and allow others to be “free” how will the country run? @TheKeatingFive, what if your DC’s friends are part of the vulnerable families that you are suggesting we lock away? I don’t have any vulnerable family members and my parents are under 70 with no underlying health conditions. However, even I know not to lock away all vulnerable families just so my children can do what they want!

Yeah it’s very obvious what @TheKeatingFive is wanting.

If you want a functioning nhs and public services for the CV and their families in the medium to long term, then it makes absolute sense to facilitate those that can to work, raise money and have their children educated.

How do you propose we pay for all this locking down? Historically low interest rates will bite us in the arse with regards to our borrowing in the very near future.

@irregularegular

Think about the UK during the war. People were in danger of dying every day and lasted 6 years.

For context. Datawatch on front page of FT today. Covid-19 caused more deaths in the UK last year than the civilian deaths throughout the whole WW2. Admittedly with a very different age distribution. But still.

Wow. That's a sobering statistic.

@BogRollBOGOF

I've just realised why lockdown makes me uncharacteristically despondant; it hammers home the impact of ASD on DS1. The diagnosis was at the end of 2019 so I was still processing it in March. Between ASD, dyspraxia and dyslexia He does not do crafts He does not bake He's terrified of riding a bike even though he can He is extremely reluctant to do ball sports Home learning is a relentless battle with little outcome Getting out of the house is a battle, especially at this time of the year with his sensory issues with clothes He has limited attention for reading because its exhausting Won't touch cold, wet play equipment in playgrounds at this time of year Does not do remote communication (phones/ video)

If he's not in school, he wants to watch documentaries about WW2, youtube, play computer games. He's very happy to stay at home on the sofa, but that doesn't mean it's good for him.

Add in the parks now being a swamp
The small garden unusable until it dries out if we want any grass left in the spring.
We are so, so, so very bored of walking. Lovely in the spring-autumn, but the mud this year is the worst its ever been from footfall and it's draining to wade through.

He recently said that he can't remember what normal is anymore. He's 10. It's about 9% of his life.

Add in DS2 (7) who displayed depressed behaviour through June/ July and regularly cried that he needs new friends because he couldn't understand why he hadn't seen friends for 3-4 months. He's struggled to settle back into friendship groups at school since September. He tends to follow DS1's lead.

I could count the number of family interractions they've had in a year on one hand and have spare fingers (distance, health)

I snooze the enthusiastic, wholesome parents on fb, not because they do anything wrong but because it hurts me to see it and that's my problem. Painting rainbows does not work for all children.

We need family, friends, swimming, parkrun, sport, interesting places to visit, eating in at McDonalds as bribery. Things in their proper place with the right company. Can't fake it with ASD.

(And he is resilient, it takes huge resilience to go and mask his way through a day at school)

I hear you. I have children with asd and also have asd myself. I'm not a baking/wholesome mum. My house is absolutely chaotic without school input.

@irregularegular

Think about the UK during the war. People were in danger of dying every day and lasted 6 years.

For context. Datawatch on front page of FT today. Covid-19 caused more deaths in the UK last year than the civilian deaths throughout the whole WW2. Admittedly with a very different age distribution. But still.

Yes — except that here in the UK we've been counting people who die within 28 days of having a positive Covid 19 test (even if they are actually killed in a car accident or were at death's door anyway) and anyone who has Covid 19 on their death certificate and there's an 8% difference between the two figures...

I had an elderly relative who was dying of cancer when Covid arrived and was admitted to hospital for what her family was told was likely to be her final 48 hours. She lasted a week and during that time contracted Covid 19. Her birth certificate said Covid 19 and she became a Covid statistic even though the family say it was pancreatic cancer that killed her. Just one example of how statistics don't tell the full story.

I have teens - one was supposed to be starting Uni in our home country but instead of that has been in his room every day since September first. I’m gutt d for the waste that this represents.

TheKeatingFive

“The alternative is locking them ALL away. How is that better?”

So what you mean is, as long as yours aren’t affected .........

@TheKeatingFive

I can't find the report, but the gist was as others have said... there a millions of people vulnerable to the virus spread across all areas of society. To shield them, you'd have to either put them in solitary confinement (which even leaving aside the abstract ethics of wouldn't be possible, children, some older people, people with health care needs need to be cared for by other people) or you ask their household to also shield. Aside from being utterly unethical, it's not even feasible from a 'scaling up the NHS' pov as this would create more gaps that needed to be filled in essential roles (usual workers would be shielding).

I don't think any country has tried a 'shield the vulnerable and everyone else carry on' approach, have they? Because it's too flawed a theory to even get off the starting blocks and profoundly discriminatory.

I feel the same. Hopeless

There is a certain luxury (dare I say entitlement) in saying there is nothing (of value) in your child's life.

You will never find a parent of a child with ASD and related chronic anxiety or severe mental health issue ever saying that.

Parents like me who have been living this for years, sleeping with one eye open, on suicide watch for years would never do this.

We paint on a smile and mood manage. We give up our jobs, become unpaid carers, spend hours advocating and fighting.

We explore all possible alternative ways of building a life.

When things are bad we give our DC the strength to live for one more day.

Please get some perspective.

Once again on mumsnet you are not allowed to be sad by the martyrs and righteous