There is nothing in my children’s lives

[Howdydooo]

It’s all been taken away again.

I know it’s a pandemic. I know it’s temporary (but don’t know how temporary).

Screens are no substitute for friends.

They will not be fooled again by home structure and schooling. They have nowhere to go, no one to see and nowhere to go. And they know how long it went on for last time.

One method of torture is solitary confinement

Are any children being solitarily confined? Fucks sake people, calm the fuck down.

Love that. It’s so true as well.

Theres a lot of people being over dramatic on this thread. It totally fine for DC to rant, moan, have a cry but its also important that parents give them some perspective amd teach them tools to deal with difficult situations. This wont be the only difficult episode in their lives.

As a child my best friend missed lots of school due to a chronic illness, probably times when it was 70% of the year. She got 3 a levels and a degree. When she was ill we often wouldnt be able to see her because she would be in hospital, or recovering and therefore didnt want us to pass anything on. Her mum was so strong, would always be positive even when her child was close to dying because its what my friend needed. Children will be okay, they dont have nothing. But they need their parents to show them how to get through difficult times, wailing about torture doesnt help them in any way.

@hamstersarse

One method of torture is solitary confinement

Why do you think that is an effective method of torture?

Yes.

But torture is intentional and used as punishment.

Lockdown isn't torture - they are trying to keep the population safe FFS. You're not being intentionally punished for no reason.

To fully develop a healthy psyche, humans need to integrate both collective and personal elements. Our children are being forced to live a very blinkered life, a life where 'safety' is the mantra

Your children might be, but you are doing them the disservice. Maybe stop whining so much and model some fucking resilience instead of feeling sorry for yourselves?

@Apollo3

One method of torture is solitary confinement

Are any children being solitarily confined? Fucks sake people, calm the fuck down.

Exactly!

Who said anything about solitary confinement?

Your kids can basically do what they normally do except for seeing their classmates/ friends in person.

If they're bored then perhaps you're not being creative enough!

Also we have been able to see other people since June. They had 3 months before, 6 months where they have been able to socialise, maybe another 3 now. Its not a year where they havent been able to socialise. Its 2 episodes of a couple of months

@Lalliella

Attituse is everything, I agree. However the problem with that mantra in this situation is that children are being denied the opportunity to fully develop a resilient attitude.

The talk you went to was by someone who was attempting to do something super challenging, to develop their resilience.

Our children have been denied the opportunity to respond to the everyday challenges of life. We have even denied our children the opportunity to even do sport, a classic place where we provide challenge for them.

I'm afraid going for a walk with your parents and baking a cake, although they are very nice, do not challenge someone to do something outside their comfort zone and will not help them develop a good attitude to life

@treedragon

When restrictions were lighter I went round my Neice and Nephews house on a Saturday and they were bored. So we did something different.....

Origami and tried to make different things.....

They didn't want me to go home and stay "10 minutes more".

Try thinking out of the XBox.

Did you do origami for 4 hours with them while simultaneously trying to answer a dozen of work related calls, write a piece of code that has to be ready for deployment the next morning, submit "evidence of work" to the school for two different school years, cook a borderline nutritious meal, clean and do laundry?

If yes, my hat off to you, you definitely can give all of us lazy parents a lesson.

@Howdydooo

I am sorry you're not in a good place, clearly, but - your children will be at home, the safest and best place for any child, with their parents who love and care for them. Why is it so bad?

Yes children need socialisation to develop. But this is a tempoary period. They are getting socialisation from their parents and from others on zoom/xbox whatever, they have had 6 months of it. It is very unlikely that a short period of only socialising with your family is going to cause any longterm harm

Read most of the thread now. Remarkable lack of empathy from some posters. Telling people just to "cheer up, it could be worse, it's your own fault for being unhappy, just get on with it" is the most tone deaf response!!

They don't deserve any more than a boot up the arse. Tone deaf is whining about children being tortured because they can't see their friends...when most of them were at school yesterday with their friends and talk to them daily on xbox live or whatever. That's bloody tone deaf.

I do feel very sorry for some people on this threads children, but not because of the lockdown, because their parents are complaining they have nothing in their lives. Stop whining, get off MN, and give them something, for christs sake.

[quote hamstersarse]@Lalliella

Attituse is everything, I agree. However the problem with that mantra in this situation is that children are being denied the opportunity to fully develop a resilient attitude.

The talk you went to was by someone who was attempting to do something super challenging, to develop their resilience.

Our children have been denied the opportunity to respond to the everyday challenges of life. We have even denied our children the opportunity to even do sport, a classic place where we provide challenge for them.

I'm afraid going for a walk with your parents and baking a cake, although they are very nice, do not challenge someone to do something outside their comfort zone and will not help them develop a good attitude to life[/quote]
They have had an opportunity to develop a different kind of resilience.

However they have to be properly supported by their adults in their lives. Hopefully most of whom don't spend their lives whining on mumsnet.

Maybe their parents need a bit more resilience?

Focus on the positive. This lockdown there is a vaccine being rolled out. Just that.

I'm confident it won't drag on like last time. It's not the weather to be out picnicking etc at the moment anyway but as the weather improves more and more people will be vaccinated.

Perhaps the government should have a "totaliser" like the Blue Peter Christmas appeals back in my childhood

didyoumakethat.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/totaliser.jpg

to try and get the public morale climbing back up as the percentage of the population vaccinated gradually rises.

OP I think younger children will be less impacted than older ones to be quite honest. I was thinking back to my childhood and really we didn't do many of the things that these days would be considered 'making a childhood' (and we were not a poor family) - trips to restaurants, soft-play even the theatre etc. just didn't happen. Young children are resilient and will be happy doing stuff from home and outside. They don't need all the trappings of life that adults think they do.

Work with what you have. Have dinner somewhere different in the house just because

Great idea. Perhaps we could all have dinner tonight on the bathroom floor. We could use the toilet as a table!

@Apollo3

To fully develop a healthy psyche, humans need to integrate both collective and personal elements. Our children are being forced to live a very blinkered life, a life where 'safety' is the mantra

Your children might be, but you are doing them the disservice. Maybe stop whining so much and model some fucking resilience instead of feeling sorry for yourselves?

Your comment shows me you don't understand how people build resilience. They don't build it by watching Netflix and going for a walk.

I also don't think I am whining, I am merely pointing out that we are denying children the natural challenges in life (which cannot be simply modelled by a parent) and that will likely have an impact on their resilience in the long-term.

Your comment shows me you don't understand how people build resilience. They don't build it by watching Netflix and going for a walk.

How about by banding together in a period of national emergency?

This is the greatest challenge we have faced as a nation - and our children as well. How can you say that this will not develop resilience? If they are supported in the right way by the adults in their lives, it is an opportunity for great personal growth.

They don't need all the trappings of life that adults think they do

Right now they have the trappings...what they don't have is the basics...seeing their friends, kicking a ball around with their mates

@Apollo3

One method of torture is solitary confinement

Are any children being solitarily confined? Fucks sake people, calm the fuck down.

I didn't say we are putting children into solitray confinement. My question was why is that an effective method of torture?

Why is it deemed that isolating a human from all others is a good method of torture?

If you think about this for more than a second, you might be able to have some understanding about the concerns that are being raised on this thread about the situation our children are in

Maybe their parents need a bit more resilience

I've said I am fine, I am not into music festivals or #blessed pub gatherings or instagramming my meals, so I don't really care about not being able to go out and show off on social media. However, I think it's rubbish that for nearly a year now our youngsters have had massive constraints on their lives, and not to protect them. It has nothing to do with resilience or superior "parenting".

I agree young kids don't care if they don't go to a restaurant but they might mind that they can't play football or do their dance classes yet again.

And sitting at home and doing a jigsaw puzzle would make me suicidal never mind DS.

@hamstersarse I don't think anyone is saying they are not concerned for the mental wellbeing of both children and adults as a result of this pandemic.

I think what people are saying is that "torture" is a ridiculous word to use for what is happening.

@formerbabe

They don't need all the trappings of life that adults think they do

Right now they have the trappings...what they don't have is the basics...seeing their friends, kicking a ball around with their mates

Exactly. I am glad that at least some of the people on this thread get it!

I completely agree.

@wildraisins

if they’re bored then perhaps you’re not being creative enough.

Or maybe the parents are trying to hold down a job at the same time as homeschooling/being “creative” all day with bored kids. Y’know, conference calls, urgent emails, phone calls.

Just saying.