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Original poster

So I've had to lie to the school

503 replies

WankPuffins · 03/01/2021 18:06

My dad is 86 and isn't coping.

He's in our support bubble but lives two hours away (which I know some people don't agree with and I've been jumped on on her about it before, but I am his only family so what can we do).

Dh has had to go and get him just now. He called us saying he can't take this anymore, he's worried about my baby in all this with her having two older siblings at school/college, he can't sleep and he can't eat. He's scared to leave his house and he's got no food in. He said he was considering taking all his sleeping pills but he couldn't when he thought of my children.

We then FaceTimed him so we could actually see him after he called and he's visibly lost weight. It's clear he's not been eating. We can't leave him alone. I honestly think he'll end his life if we do. So he's coming here.

Dd is supposed to go back to school tomorrow. I've just posted on another thread that they sent a heavy handed email basically pre emting people making excuses.

I don't want her going to school while my dad is here. We've not left the house apart from one click and collect since Dh took him home on Boxing Day. So we are as safe as can be.

Our area is now in T4 and cases are rising.

I've emailed to say a family member in our support bubble showed symptoms today after seeing us on Friday.

They have emailed back asking for proof of the relatives positive or negative test so they can say when Dd returns to school.

Obviously there is no test. But we couldn't be honest and risk a fine.

Flame away at me lying. But I feel like I'm inbetween a rock and a hard place with Dd and my dad.

And now I feel like I'll be under scrutiny from the school.

OP posts:
Wheresmykimchi · 03/01/2021 21:08

God I'm sorry you had to read that comment OPFlowers

Wheresmykimchi · 03/01/2021 21:09

@Hexadelica

No

A see child X in 14 days will do.

You have n idea the actual situation in schools if you think OPs child wil be the only one isolating.

yankeedoodledandee · 03/01/2021 21:09

@Hexadelica

I give up!

Probably for the best.

Beautifulbonnie · 03/01/2021 21:09

[quote MarieG10]@SallyTimms

Schools cannot ask for proof of a pupil's test

What reference or guidance do you have for that or is it your personal view ?

It is a fairly routine request to ensure that students or employees don't come back to work without a negative test or too early if positive [/quote]
Our headmaster told us schools aren’t legally allowed to request anyone’s test results. They weren’t even allowed to ask if it was back yet.

mathanxiety · 03/01/2021 21:10

Again-I am simply describing what the opening poster has decided to do-exploit the fact of a possible Covid risk (untruthfully) in order to not have to send her to school.

Seriously, @Hexadelica, is there not a possible covid risk from the very contagious new covid variant?

I am talking about the risk of the DD bringing it back to grandad from school here.

VladimirCutiePutiPie · 03/01/2021 21:10

I’m late to the party here but GDPR no one can ask for proof including your own employer about you.

Wheresmykimchi · 03/01/2021 21:10

@yankeedoodledandee

Again-I am simply describing what the opening poster has decided to do-exploit the fact of a possible Covid risk (untruthfully) in order to not have to send her to school.

Bollocks. That's not what you said at all. You misread the OP. Own it.

I don't think she did.
Marpan · 03/01/2021 21:12

To state the extreme, Your alternatives are really;

  1. Let him die alone
  2. Let a care home kill him
You are Definitely Doing the right thing. People are obsessed with wanting schools to open for their own selfish reasons.
Wheresmykimchi · 03/01/2021 21:12

@mathanxiety

Again-I am simply describing what the opening poster has decided to do-exploit the fact of a possible Covid risk (untruthfully) in order to not have to send her to school.

Seriously, @Hexadelica, is there not a possible covid risk from the very contagious new covid variant?

I am talking about the risk of the DD bringing it back to grandad from school here.

That's not what Hex is talking about

She's saying that OP lied, exploiting covid.

She did

Whether it's justifiable keeping DD off is a separate thing.

LizzieSiddal · 03/01/2021 21:12

Op you don’t need to feel guilty at all. Any decent person would do the same for their parent. You’re used to home educating anyway so your Dd will be fine. You’ve done the right thing Flowers

DrJump · 03/01/2021 21:13

@WankPuffins

I was on the fence anyway about sending her back. But I can't risk it with my dad here. He's had cancer in the past 18 months.
Would you consider home schooling while your Dad is with you. Im not sure what the registration process is like inthe UK but de iding to homeschool during the peaks in Australia was the right decision for us
AliceMcK · 03/01/2021 21:13

I’m assuming they want the results to prove she’s all clear to return to school not proof of what you have told them.

Call them in a couple of days and tell them your dad has since moved in with you after threatening suicide so you have no intention of sending DD back now because he is too frail.

Wheresmykimchi · 03/01/2021 21:13

@DrJump let's just not.

yankeedoodledandee · 03/01/2021 21:13

@Hexadelica

I misread you. I am sorry. You are saying the DD has been flagged as a risk, but that she is a risk. I'm sorry, and a tit. Blush

yankeedoodledandee · 03/01/2021 21:14

NOT that she is a risk Blush

Jellycatspyjamas · 03/01/2021 21:14

OP just tell the school she'll be in on the 12th and forget about it. The test results are for if you want to send her earlier. If things are not resolved by the 12th, say she has symptoms and buy another 10 days. thanks

To be honest, I’d tell them I have a very elderly relative living with me and given the risk I’m not sending her in. Given schools are closing and kids are being sent home right, left and centre the school can’t insist on her being in.

yankeedoodledandee · 03/01/2021 21:14

@Wheresmykimchi

I don't think she did.

You are correct, thanks. I misread it!

Wheresmykimchi · 03/01/2021 21:15

Op you are far more honourable tha the 'child X has a cough ' which wastes our bloody time tracing.

TicTacTwo · 03/01/2021 21:15

Hexadelica- her lie affects other people if she did this on 15th December but school is not responsible for contact tracing for contact on 1st January. School's responsibility is to ensure that dd does not return before 12th Jan. They can not ask for proof of test result. (DFE guidelines)

If OP wanted to send her child back early technically she could do so as schools can not ask for proof of test results anyway. In my opinion this is a major reason why it has spread in schools but OP's dd doesn't have symptoms and won't be back at school until the self isolation period is over anyway so nobody else is inconvenienced

Wheresmykimchi · 03/01/2021 21:16

[quote yankeedoodledandee]@Wheresmykimchi

I don't think she did.

You are correct, thanks. I misread it![/quote]
As the queen of misreading and mistagging I hear you Grin

Hexadelica · 03/01/2021 21:16

[quote AIMD]@Hexadelica you comments don’t make sense because the op had informed the school the child would be off school anyway. So regardless of if there was a test result to show or not the child wasn’t in anyway so represented no risk to the school anyway.[/quote]
I know why you say that, but it depends entirely on when the child does go back. We don't have that information.

DrJump · 03/01/2021 21:16

[quote Wheresmykimchi]@DrJump let's just not.[/quote]
Why? The OP wants to keep her child at home. Rather than lying to school a short period of home schooling might be useful.

We are preparing the kids to back to regular school after 9 months of home school.

grenadines · 03/01/2021 21:17

I would write to the school and tell them the truth. Say you were worried about the fine but don’t want to risk sending your child to school due to the vulnerable relative who has had to come to stay at short notice.

LowestEbb · 03/01/2021 21:17

Can someone explain something to me - surely anyone can choose to remove their child to homeschool at any time, pandemic or no pandemic? So regardless, OP would be well within her rights to take her DC out of school in this situation, they're not skipping off to Disney world ffs.

rainbowunicorn · 03/01/2021 21:18

@StatisticalSense

You have potentially destroyed the education of hundreds of other children so that you can transport in a relative from hundreds of miles away?
Don't talk crap.