Netflix needs to fuck right off

[Neversleepingever]

With it's judgy 'are you still watching' message that pops up at a climax moment and I can only see my tired, greasy reflection on the screen as I stuff the final mince pie in my mouth in an attempt to eat the last of the Xmas stockpile before I start healthy eating for my New Year's resolution.

What light-hearted, petty things in your life need to fuck right off?

@Oysterbabe

My husband always putting the news on BBC1 HD then fucking off somewhere so when the local news comes on I just get a red screen and have to get up to find the remote. It really winds me up.

I have one of those too! I hate that bloody music they play whilst I scramble for the remote as well.

That message is the 1 time I've felt judged during this whole pandemic.

My crusted, busted Christmas tree that didn’t make it past the 20th December. Launched that fucker right out the back door today!

Theres a speed indicator thing a couple of villages away. That’s fine but it has a smug red frowny face if you’re too fast and an even smugger green smiley face if you’re ok. Patronising twat.

Streaming Amazon Music when it suddenly stops and asks if I'm still listening. I was till you fucking stopped.

The microwave that beeps not 3, not 4 but 5 bloody times when it's finished. I have to make a dive to open the door when it gets down to 1 second as it's so bloody annoying.

The stupid upright Hoover that has the extension tube as a handle that keeps coming loose when I'm Hoovering and it doesn't have a cord rewinder so the cord has to be manually wrapped. Oh and the bloody thing falls over when I use the -not so- stretchy hose with an attachment. You can't buy vacuums with the same power now though so I stick with it.

Re BBC local news, does anyone else find that phrase at the end of the national news "and now for the news where you are" incredibly irritating?

We shout ‘but how do you know where we are??’ at the tv. Have been doing it for years...

@msssm

Door handles. Using my cardigan pockets/housecoat belt as a sling shot to forcefully ping me back into whatever room I was attempting to leave.

Especially annoying when it's the dressing gown and you've just made your first brew of the day.

Non-catchability was my main design criterion for handles when we had the kitchen redone, come to think.

@vminkookie

Netflix keeps on recommending stuff to me that I'd never watch in this lifetime. But fails to notify me when there's something new in the genres I prefer!

Does someone else have your login details? Cause if someone else is watching under your profile, it's gonna mess that stuff up

Why is it when you say off to Alexa she ignores you but when you say shut up it works every time.

I hate how Netflix does this! It’s very inconsistent.

I have fallen asleep whilst Netflix is on, yet it continues to autoplay all night and when I wake up, the bloody finale is on and I get spoiled!

This notification would come in handy then, but nooo. It only makes an appearance when I’m wide awake and binge watching, whilst looking rough and stuffing my face 😂 that reflection has me contemplating life!

Netflix keeps on recommending stuff to me that I'd never watch in this lifetime

This (in moderation) is a technique for them to improve their recommendations AI. The recommendations are generally a mix of exploiting previous selections and exploring a few new ones. Otherwise the AI would get in a rut and stay there.

I remember rage hoovering my old flat once just before I found out I was pregnant (hormones set off the rage apparently, I'm not normally that bad) and the metal pipe came off the rubber hose and I ended up stood there holding a useless rubber snake sucking thin air while my partner laughed at me. I knew it did it every time but I swear it took every ounce of willpower not to lob it off the balcony.

I still have the hoover. I still hate the hoover with every part of my soul for that disrespect.

@ErrolTheDragon
I was working on an airplane built in "netflix" type of AI and we needed to do initial training and all of us took it home for the weekend to binge watch, select as many as we think we'd like,....
Went back Monday and I asked mine to be added last, after an initial aggregation and test. Everything went fine, AI learnt nicely.
Then added mine.
It broke down and wept.
Couldn't cope with the amount of inconsistency.

I relate to so many of these!
And, Virgin catch up - why do you have to put the pin in to watch something that was first shown during the day (so not first shown after 9 pm). It happens so frequently!

This made me laugh so much. My phone camera can f right off when it goes to selfie mode and I suddenly see my bleary face (also through a dirty screen sometimes) about to stuff another cheesy snack into my mouth so a small double chin is at it’s very worst.
That person is NOT me so I don’t know why I am being shown this image.
Yuck ! F !

Theres a speed indicator thing a couple of villages away. That’s fine but it has a smug red frowny face if you’re too fast and an even smugger green smiley face if you’re ok. Patronising twat.
Same here. I prefer the ones that say thank you for driving at the speed limit. I got thanked the other day and I felt really smug about it, thanked it for it’s thank you, and polished my halo 😇

The microwave that beeps not 3, not 4 but 5 bloody times when it's finished. I have to make a dive to open the door when it gets down to 1 second as it's so bloody annoying.
I do exactly the same thing. Got to time it so I open the door with 1 second to go to avoid the bloomin’ bleeps 🙄

My phone camera can f right off when it goes to selfie mode and I suddenly see my bleary face…
Shocking isn’t it 😬 I physically recoiled in horror when my phone first did that! 😱

When I buy a washing machine then get endless adverts for washing machines I'm not running a bastard laundrette why do I need to see these now

My bloody phone telling me how many steps I’ve taken . Guaranteed, I could make a bit more effort, but still !

@PandemicPalava

Henry Hoover smirking at me when he is stuck round the door frame the little knob

Self service checkout rushing me at the co op

🤣🤣🤣

When I watch Netflix/telly for a bit, my Fitbit logs me as Asleep.

Football, football needs to fuck off- strangely it does when my DH is at work- STOP the lockdowns 😂

Henry Hoover gets called a supercilious little cunt in my house. Passive aggressive smirking when you trip over him.

😂 sounds better than utube accusing me of being a fooking terrorist 🙈😬 oh and rambling on at me about the state of play in Scotland and how to stay safe... I do not live in Scotland 😜