Netflix needs to fuck right off

[Neversleepingever]

With it's judgy 'are you still watching' message that pops up at a climax moment and I can only see my tired, greasy reflection on the screen as I stuff the final mince pie in my mouth in an attempt to eat the last of the Xmas stockpile before I start healthy eating for my New Year's resolution.

What light-hearted, petty things in your life need to fuck right off?

Freesat's annoying "you are connected to wireless internet" message that pops up on my TV every few minutes. It's a software issue apparently, which they put an update out for...which has now caused problems with accessing recordings 🙄 Sort it out Freesat FFS 😡

That for the last few days all the adverts popping up on mumsnet are for bloody stairlifts!! Yes, I know I’m overweight already. Yes I have eaten too many mince pies, drunk too much Bailey’s and spent a large part of Christmas slabbing in the sofa, but I most certainly don’t need a stairlifts!!

Nest keeps randomly deciding several times per day that we're "Away" and turning off the heating. We haven't been "Away" since February Nest, and it's 2 degrees outside, STAY ON FFS.

My Apple Watch when it tells me ‘it’s time to stand’ f**k off if I want to sit on my arse watching crap tv all day I will.

I get a weekly activity email about my children's xbox use, how many hours etc. With current circumstances I just delete it unread. I can't take the judgement.

I ask Alexa to play a song and instead she goes on a fucking two minutes sales pitch.

@Oysterbabe that is hilarious

@thebear1

I get a weekly activity email about my children's xbox use, how many hours etc. With current circumstances I just delete it unread. I can't take the judgement.

Haha! My Ds got a ps5 for xmas and when my DP was setting it up he said "its asking if we want a limit of how many hours on for him". We just decided to let that one slide for now...

@LobotheBotanist

What’s this Netflix thing, and how is it triggered?! Not seen it yet

It is triggered by watching endless amounts on Netflix and not changing the program...so I have heard....never, ever seen it myself of course

Well they shouldnt make things so addictively binge worthy should they

laughing at these but relating so much!

My watch vibrates telling me to Move!... No I'm being a lazy git on the sofa thanks.

Also TV does the turning off in 1 minute due to inactivity and then we have to scramble to find the remote as we use the sky one to turn off/on.

Only other annoying thing is the realisation I have to go to work Monday after having from Christmas off!

@3cats1baby1manchild

My Apple Watch when it tells me ‘it’s time to stand’ f**k off if I want to sit on my arse watching crap tv all day I will.

Haha this! My Apple Watch is a judgy little bastard too.

Washing machine that beeps to remind me its finished , microwave and dishwasher that also do the same , get in the car beep beep to remind me I am in a car , drive along and it beeps at me for going over a line even if I am turning

Stop f**king beeping at me !!!

Alexa can fuck off.

My DH installed them all round the house and they control lights etc. Except it takes like 5 attempts yelling at the useless bint whilst the light switch smugly sits in the corner.

😂 The health app that comes
pre-loaded on my phone. Keeps measuring my (lack of) daily steps then advising me to “be active” and “move more”. How rude!

I was coming on to say the washing machine too, I fucking hate that annoying beep, I even tell it to shut the fick up, I'm coming, but it carrys on its whiny beeping.

@Oysterbabe

My scales piss me off too. I have fancy ones that immediately Bluetooth to your phone 10 different ways in which you are a fat bastard. I don't really know what metabolic age is but I know mine is higher than my actual age, which can't be good. Also last year I got on them after Christmas and they said 'Your weight has changed a lot since your last weigh in. Is this Oysterbabe?' Yeah OK, fuck off.

You win.

@grool

The "Are you still watching" message when my kids have had Peppa Pig on for 2 hours straight is infuriating!

I haven't learnt to be a good parent, Netflix, of course they're still watching!!

Brilliant!

Maybe Netflix needs someone to inform them we've all been told to "stay at home"

Of course we're watching, in an hour we'll still be watching, in fact - just assume for the next 6 weeks that's we'll be doing all day everyday!

Like others have said - my scales. I stepped on them the other day, only to be told I'm the heaviest I've ever been, and then the battery promptly died! It was a sly fuck you.

Also, my ipad which I've had since 2014 and taken good care of. Who knew a tiny plastic brick could fall on it and render the whole thing fucking useless. Will cost £££ to repair!

@3cats1baby1manchild

My Apple Watch when it tells me ‘it’s time to stand’ f**k off if I want to sit on my arse watching crap tv all day I will.

It doesn't really know if you're standing - just pump your arm up and down a bit. Actually what pisses me off is when I have been standing, but carrying stuff around the house or doing jobs which don't give the required arm movement so it doesn't register. I think its metrics are sexist bastards.

My watch also tells me to move. I don’t mind it except when I’ve already done a 10k run that day and am therefore perfectly entitled to sit my arse on the sofa and shovel mince pies in.

My car beeps to tell me it's cold and might be icy. I wouldn't mind as much if it just did it when I first got in but 9 times out of 10 it waits till I've driven somewhere that's a degree warmer then decides to beep and give me a heart attack while I'm driving along. If I've had to scrape ice off the windscreen I can figure out it might be icy without you being a beepy twat.

Aunty Bessie is giving me irrational first world rage!! (I'm a terrible lazy cook so tend to go for frozen stuff).

Crime number one - changing their frozen mash from big discs to tiny cubes. Used to count out 4 discs per person now have to count out 15 stupid little cubes to work out a portion. End up giving up half way through, using the whole bag and then chucking half of it out and I hate wasting food.

Number 2 - made the yorkshire puddings bigger so only 10 in a packet instead of 12. Everyone still wants two each so not enough to go round with one packet.

Both I think are cynical ploys to make you buy/spend more but I've not found an alternative that is as good - please don't say make your own as that is never going to happen!

The Norton pop-up which appears in the corner of my computer telling me it's performing background tasks while my computer is idle. Firstly it's not idle - I'm doing very important work Mumsnetting, and secondly if the tasks are in the background just get on with them - you don't need to smugly inform me how busy you are.

"Henry Hoover smirking at me when he is stuck round the door frame the little knob"

This!

@BrightonForWine
Haha. 😂