Netflix needs to fuck right off

[Neversleepingever]

With it's judgy 'are you still watching' message that pops up at a climax moment and I can only see my tired, greasy reflection on the screen as I stuff the final mince pie in my mouth in an attempt to eat the last of the Xmas stockpile before I start healthy eating for my New Year's resolution.

What light-hearted, petty things in your life need to fuck right off?

Morrisons SMS reminder that my delivery can be edited until 11pm, so I go and edit it and discover loads of completely normal stuff is out of stock, even though I'm increasingly sure if I went in the store it wouldn't be. And then I confirm the order and 9 hours later I get an email telling me there are a load of substitutions, so somehow between 11pm and 9am loads of stuff just ran out, oh and coincidentally it's often one item out of a multibuy deal that is missing so I can either accept an expensive substitution or abandon my careful meal planning.

That can fuck right off too.

My Garmin, telling me to “MOVE”, when I’ve just cooked everyone dinner, fed DS, Got kids to bed, done the washing up and sat down for 5min. Oh fuck off with your MOVE!!!

The TV in my bedroom also gets in on the act - so Netflix starts with its judgy message then 15 minutes later the tv suggests that perhaps it should go into standby mode.

@Figmentofimagination

My phone telling me my weekly screen time. Yes I know I'm on my phone to much, stop being so judgy when you tell me it's increased.

What are you doing to yourself?? Turn that shit off! 😂

@Seeline @SOCKS
I had this discussion with DH the other day and we came up with a way to remember it! The 'L'ower button is to 'L'ock the car. So, L to Lock - if that makes sense! It's helped me anyway!

This thread has just made me laugh out loud - thank you! I've experienced the scales and the washing machine and Netflix in the past. Currently too scared to get on the scales - not sure when I'll be brave enough!

@PandemicPalava

Henry Hoover smirking at me when he is stuck round the door frame the little knob

Self service checkout rushing me at the co op

I proper laughed out loud at this

Look at all the 435 photos of our day out it’s about making memories for the kids.,.fuck off. Usually the same photo taken 321 times

People at work who moan for hours and hours but never speak up to management about the issues..they can fuck off

Pull your fucking trousers up I’m sick of seeing your nasty pants and tramp stamp

Wear deodorant and wash your manky armpit yellow stained Disney shirt you stink

Fitbit has a setting where you can tell it to shut the fuck up about moving

My Fitbit is a very meek quiet version of its old self now . It’s no longer allowed to sleep with me either, as it kept telling me my sleep quality was poor (I know! It’s called peri meno you twat)

Spider Plants are hallucinogenic to cats, so she's having a come down sleep

The bastarding small ginger geriatric sheep is tripping balls? That answers a lot.

Wish she'd stick to the sodding catnip mice strewn across the house. At least they're relatively silent.

Our internet. This year I’ve felt like I’m working in an unpaid IT customer service role and all my customers are whiny, ungrateful little shits.

7 people being at home all trying to stream, game online, WFH and conduct conference calls/online school lessons has nearly sent me over the edge. I’ve called our internet provider and BEGGED them for any kind of improvement. I’ve offered them as much money as it would take. Nothing they can do about it 😭😭😭

Alexa! I find it really annoying that this piece of tech is seen (and bloody heard) as female.

A pp refered to Alexa as a 'bint'.

I want to be able to swap 'Alexa' to an 'Alex', give it a deep masculine voice and then...swear at 'Alex' when 'Alex' is being so feckin irritating.

@PandemicPalava

Henry Hoover smirking at me when he is stuck round the door frame the little knob

Self service checkout rushing me at the co op

Hilarious 😂

Is that the one that has ‘because you Watched XXX’? Always sounds like an accusation.

@Justcashnosweets

My 2 cats, chasing each other round the upstairs of the house, every fucking morning, which sounds like an elephant stampede. 🙄

Yes mine are doing this, they don't understand weekends. I feed them at 7am on work days, so from 7/8am onwards they either fight/chase each other or leap on me, bat me in the face, set off noisy toys on my bed or generally drive me insane until I get up.

I trialed the fitbit before before sending to my dad for xmas. It apparently registers knitting as if I was exercising, so it made me all warm and mushy to see that I am truly killing this fitness thing! :)

@KindleAndCake

I was coming on to say the washing machine too, I fucking hate that annoying beep, I even tell it to shut the fick up, I'm coming, but it carrys on its whiny beeping.

Mine does this too. I can switch it off. When I switched it off I would forget it had finished and end up with musty washing so it is a no win situation.

My robot hoover Anita, getting stuck under/behind/on everything and beeping with her pleasing messages “please untangle my brushes” “please move obstacle, I’m stuck” “please empty my dirt bin”. If I wanted to keep getting up and clambering about under the sofa I’d do the fucking hoovering myself! You don’t have a dog to bark yourself.

*pleading messages

Autocorrect can ducking duck off too!!

Bastard

@Figmentofimagination

My phone telling me my weekly screen time. Yes I know I'm on my phone to much, stop being so judgy when you tell me it's increased.

This. THIS.

@MarkRuffaloCrumble

Bastard

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 @MarkRuffaloCrumble hilarious. I hate autocorrect too but I've noticed when I'm working and typing I sometimes wait to see if things will be corrected. It's made me a lazy speller.

Oh and another one. FB and MN both appear to have defaulted to US English. So simple words like organise will get a red line under them and drive me mental. I don't know how to change it.

@ReadySteadyBed - I didn't know I could do that?! I've just been into settings and turned it off. Why didn't I think of that?