So how the F are we meant to work?

[Littlewhitedove2]

3 primary age kids. One parent left who won’t leave their house except the shops much less come anywhere near me or the kids. Inlaws in a similar position.
Primary school closed. It won’t be 2 weeks - it will be far longer than that.
Husband full time work.
I work part time as much as I can around school but not critical worker.
How do women work now?

@JS87

Maybe this has already been said (ten pages to look through) but the schools are closed till the 18th. I don’t think it’s online learning but an extended school holiday.

Is that right? So no access / online school

Hopefully it’s two weeks and that’s it.

Also, his job does take priority because it feeds us, clothes us and puts a roof over our heads.

Op can you do a babysitting service?

I know it’s crap but it might save you from that overwhelmed feeling

@TheKeatingFive

Choice is work or neglect your child.

Exactly. It’s a fucking travesty.

Yes!

I was trying to wfh full time as a single parent before being put on furlough. I would be on the phone to a client upstairs and would often hear smashing in the living room downstairs. Although I had baby proofed the downstairs toddler would still do dangerous things and jump off sofas or throw things at the tv. Sometimes he would just be clumsy and trip. Then starts the crying and him coming upstairs banging on my door crying mummy mummy. I can't even do a wee in peace. I don't know how I was expected to work or have client calls (who btw don't want to speak to me at 6am when I wake or 8pm after toddler is asleep).

In any other situation this would be classed as neglect by me.

Do you know any responsible young person who is unemployed? Friend of the family who could keep your DC occupied while you both work? Thanks to the pandemic, there are lots of young people unable to work who might be grateful of the money.

@BackwardsGoing

OP what would happen if you were hit by a bus tomorrow? Your husband would take the day off. It's possible. You are just prioritising his job over everything else.

Think the main problem is that it’s not a day off it’s a long time off as we all know it won’t be 2 weeks. When someone brings more money which is needed to pay the bills ofc you end up prioritising their career (and I say this as a woman who is the breadwinner and would prioritise my career over my husbands)

If we weren’t in the middle of a pandemic I’d say to the op to look for alternative but unluckily there are none at the moment.

I read a comment in another thread the other day
The 1st wave took away many of the vulnerable ones life’s.
2nd -3rd wave will take away Many of the females careers.

I would have thought everyone would have come up with a plan for if they were in this scenario again.

I would have thought the government would have known that this was coming and come up with a plan to avoid closing schools.

@MarshaBradyo

Op can you do a babysitting service?

I know it’s crap but it might save you from that overwhelmed feeling

Yes thank you, I might have to look into that this time if there is any in my area and this does go on longer term

@BackwardsGoing well our critical illness cover would kick in so I wouldn’t be worried about us paying the mortgage anymore

@DianaT1969

Do you know any responsible young person who is unemployed? Friend of the family who could keep your DC occupied while you both work? Thanks to the pandemic, there are lots of young people unable to work who might be grateful of the money.

It’s worth thinking about, thanks for the suggestion

I worked in a high level job under lots of pressure all through full lockdown with 3 kids under 10 and no partner. (It was a critical government linked job).

The answer is fucking BADLY, kids plugged into iPads 24/7 with food thrown at them whatever time I could (often while still taking calls), working until 3am before being up for more work at 7. No breaks, zero home education and “safeguarding” calls from school told to jog on and catch them up when they returned.

It’s horrendous but it is what it is, you’ll make it work on PT and just don’t educate 🤷🏻‍♀️

Oh gosh, I am so sorry. This sounds so difficult. I really feel for you, it feels hopeless doesn’t it

Above was meant for @eyesbiggerthanstomach

@yomommasmomma

I honestly have no idea. What a disgrace. And children and women punished again

So glad it isn’t anything to do with this dreadful pandemic that is causing our NHS to almost collapse

Flexible options aren't available to everyone.

I am expected to be in the office. Even when wfh I was expected to be available between 9-5.30pm to take calls from the public. We get monitored on how many calls we have dealt with.

Dh took a lot of time off during the first lockdown. But we rely on his income, if his company don't go where the work is they quickly lose contracts.

Before this we had our childcare arrangements sorted. Out of school clubs, family support. Family help or emergency time off in the case of illness or closure. Those options either aren't available now or quickly run dry after several weeks/months.

I don't think anyone could have been expected to have childcare contingency plans for a pandemic lasting over a year.

Hmm, actually although news website suggests they are closed for an extended holiday gov.uk does suggest its online learning. www.gov.uk/government/publications/schools-and-childcare-settings-return-in-january-2021/schools-and-childcare-settings-return-in-january-2021?priority-taxon=774cee22-d896-44c1-a611-e3109cce8eae#primary-schools

If his conference calls are with America and other countries then the others on those calls are possibly not working the same 8.30-7pm gmt he is, would it be an option for him to switch his working day to their time zone for a few weeks instead? Or every/other day so available for calls across the time zones

The issue with ad hoc childcare is if you ask someone to be ready to step in you can’t expect them to remain free just in case, they have their own income to rely on. They need dates and even then most people need long term commitment otherwise how do they pay to live

There are agencies and I think in this case this is what the dh could help find and source for both of them. Not cheap and a bit of a leap but just to take away that panicky feeling.

@Littlewhitedove2 it does. But my post was t competitive it was supportive, just know that however you juggle it will be your best and work and kids and partner are going to have to accept it! You can only do what you can do and it’s about time in this pandemic that we all accepted everyone is going to be just a bit shit! If your kids are loved and fed and warm then right now that’s enough

OP assuming you are working from home on a part time basis I don't see this being an issue for just two weeks??

Why do people assume Paid Leave only runs Jan-Dec.
My leave year is completely different than DH.
Mine is April to March and DH also different than the assumed Jan-Dec.
Most people don't have any left.

Schools and childcare should be open, it's as easy as that!

Thing is when schools were closed the first time and people were caught unprepared, I would have thought everyone would have come up with a plan for if they were in this scenario again.

Planning is pretty difficult when you’ve basically stretched your employers flexibility to the max first time round. So the plan if this extends for any amount of time would need to be that one of us stopped working, which has huge impacts on our family for the longer term. I’ve already all but mothballed my business, am already working out of hours to keep work covered, my DH can take leave to cover up til the 18th but after that? My children have complex additional needs, they need close supervision and specialist support for learning - they can’t be left with random ad hoc carers. It can’t be hard to understand that folk can’t easily plan for extended school closures.

@Littlewhitedove2

Even if you are able to work from home how does that work with year r and year 1 kids? How the F are they meant to learn anything? Many kids in the country continue to get their education and mine will get next to nothing

Mine was y1 last lockdown. I made sure we covered the basics. And continued to wfh. Meant getting up early. Working weekends to teach new concepts then arranging the day around my work commitments. BBC education programmes were incorporated as were some oak academy. My lo made excellent progress. With a YR and y1 it should be relatively manageable to tailor activities for both children.

Have you looked at online resources ? Bought any workbooks?

I think there needs to be much more flexibility from employers to allow both parents to stagger their hours - I really think new laws need to be passed to protect working parents but still allow them to work. Hopefully after all this flexible hours and the option to work from home will be much more mainstream.

Feel for anyone who is going to struggle with childcare. I strongly believe shutting primary schools is a last resort. If this happens in my area people on the parents WhatsApp group have already started arranging childcare bubbles amongst themselves to allow for some child free wfh time. Maybe that’s what you could do op?