Do you judge people for 'minor' rule breaks?

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So ten months into a pandemic- whether you agree with the harshness of the rules or not- I think most people would agree that the average person is likely to struggle with lockdown fatigue and wavering compliance.

So my question is, do you judge people for minor rule breaks? ie:

• someone seeing their partner who lives in another household, indoors (whether this be for mental health, or the fact most adult romantic relationships require physical contact)
• parents visiting uni students in halls
• grown adults visiting elderly parents who are lonely and isolated

If you think about it, if you live in some places up North, it's been illegal to see your partner who you don't live with for six months, providing you're not in a support bubble. And I know you can see people outdoors, but that's not conducive to a normal relationship. Or, in the case of the elderly, not healthy or comfortable.

So would you judge people for the above rule breaks, if it was genuinely they only tine they mixed with another household? And there is no support bubble?

This thread is mostly pointless, however I am simply wondering if anyone else is finding it hard now!

The above scenarios are all ones I know people in real life have done and I do not judge them. Apart from that, they wear masks, limit contact and mostly WFH.

I judge when I hear someone telling me how they met this or that person, went for dinner, did house visits, or even travelled and was delighted to get back for Christmas on time! So.... yes, I judge people when the info is given to me, I don’t look for it.

When someone breaks the rules they are putting themselves ahead of everyone else. Their happiness. They don’t consider the possible consequences of their actions and how it may hurt other people.
They don’t always see that they are part of the problem. But will complain about restrictions.
I think it’s highly selfish and I don’t know if I’ll look at some people the same way again.

people have their reasons,
people need people

dm has friends in their 80s who have been oblivious throughout this pandemic, having friends round etc., dm wont go in their house, however they are still with us and seem to be surviving on ignorance and bliss.

@bubblesforlife

Completely agree

Sometimes the rules aren't logical. Better to break the rules to keep people safe rather than follow them like a sheep and take risks.

Like a PP said, it's safer for her to take her DM shopping, with two in the car, than for her mum to go on a bus surrounded by lots of people.

In the summer it was safer for me and my DM to have a coffee together in her garden (illegal) than to have a coffee outside a local cafe surrounded by others (legal).

I sometimes pop to see my DM and sit in my coat by the french doors wearing a mask. I WFH, as does DH. DC haven't been anywhere or met friends. DM is very social and is at breaking point. Judge me if you wish but I don't care. Her mental health is more important to me.

Good friend is a probation officer and is still doing visits and her DC are meeting friends (outside) so obviously she isn't seeing her parents. Common sense.

No.

You won’t get abuse from me Justa47 totally with you on this. I just wish people were more honest with themselves and others, telling me they’re in a support bubble with older adult children when clearly they don’t need practical help can drive/do shopping etc. On the phone several times a day and zoom so mh support available. People seem to lack resilience I know it’s been nearly a year since lockdowns started but need to apply personal logic to their choices. As you say that if their relatives get admitted to hospital for other issues and catch covid there they may regret their decisions!

I try to judge our incompetent and cruel government first rather than ordinary people just trying to get by and succeed most of the time. A lot of rule breaches are due to people not being enabled to stay safe - workplaces forcing employees in being an obvious example. And I could never judge anyone who genuinely needed a small crumb of social contact - as an introvert I was fairly content for a good six months this year but even I snapped in the November lockdown and had to see one other person inside who wasn't DP.

But every so often you see or hear about people behaving in such a way that fuses my brain a bit, as in - do they not realise there's a pandemic on? Have they not grasped how covid spreads? People bleating about how much they need holidays are high on this list.

I will however happily judge the very loud covid deniers, anti-vaxxers and conspiracy lunatics, herd immunity proponents, bloody Us4Them and any idiot who trots out the "vulnerable shield, everyone else crack on" line. What's not clicking?

I'm more concerned about people who don't cut back their hedges when they invade the pavement.

...oh and anyone who wears a hat in a car.

'My' rule breaking is necessary and I have assessed the risks and am being sensible, but 'your' rule breaking is reckless and selfish.

If the rules didn't have so many loopholes it wouldn't be so easy to bend them to your own requirements, but it is virtually impossible to have rules without loopholes.

@LizzieMacQueen

Luckily in Scotland there's an exemption for non cohabiting partners to meet up indoors, even in level 4 areas. I don't know if there's an equivalent in England, Wales or N Ireland. 'Extended Household'.

There was, but I think it was changed in the Nov lockdown.

I wouldn't blame people seeing their partner, but I'd expect them not to have a 'support bubble' as well as to me that would come under that, even if it didn't quite meet the requirements (say one had an adult child at home)

I think visiting the uni student or elderly parents are both a bit too risky, especially if they do both close together, so I'd judge their risk assessment skills, but not the rule breaking IF the student or elderly parents realky needed to see them.

I don't pay attention to what others are doing either. & I rarely have an opinion on anything that doesn't involve me personally. However if someone had a party of 100s of people then yes I would judge!

No because I'd be a hypocrite,
In greater Manchester not been allowed to mix households for months .
Most people are trying to do their best but I wouldn't judge anyone for seeing a relative/ friend .

No I don't judge. Mental health is important and you never know when someone might be suicidal or at breaking point. I work in a community mental health team for the NHS, I've worked all the way through lockdowns 1&2, I visit people in their houses for work as it is deemed that this human contact is important for their mental health and well-being. Sometimes these visits are the only human contact that these people receive.
If I had a friend or family member who was struggling I wouldn't hesitate to see them.
I tell you what I do judge and that is the holier than thou Covid police.

telling me they’re in a support bubble with older adult children when clearly they don’t need practical help can drive/do shopping etc.
A support bubble has absolutely nothing to do with people needing practical help, it's to allow people to have some company indoors and to prevent loneliness and isolation.

On my little average street and my small facebook friends list, lots of minor rule breaks.. especially seeing each other on boxing day. I can't get bothered enough to care about it.

I’m judging mil and bils ‘support bubble’ that seems to include overnight stays. Both couples, no health problems, school age kids. Meanwhile m all over Facebook about how they can’t deal with this any longer and his selfish the people who are spreading it are

Yeah I judge the curtain twitching, self appointed COVID police more than anyone making their own decisions for themselves and their families with regards to the ‘rules’

I think it’s sad that it’s come to this really. Everyone knows huge gatherings indoors are a no no but aside from that who knows what issues and struggles others have.

Yes exactly @RichardMarxisinnocent loneliness and isolation can also cause massive health problems, increase risk of heart attack and premature death etc, it's so important to remember this. If I had a friend who was struggling and lonely I would not hesitate to see them.

If I judged everyone I knew who broke the rules, I would be spending my whole life judging at the moment and I just can't be arsed. I have seen a range of rule breaks, from very minor to pretty major (and posted on FB for true 'I'll do what I like and I don't give a fuck' factor! ) but I can't let myself get upset about it.

Plus, I have made a few fairly minor, risk assessed, rule breaks myself so I can't judge anyway!

As long as people are generally behaving responsibly no.
Mil is technically breaking the childcare bubble rules as she comes to look after our kids one afternoon (her choice) and once I have finished work we let her stay in the house and have a chat and have tea.
A friend couldn’t have her parents round on xmas day as she was working. So she had her parents round on Boxing Day instead.

Both above scenarios entirely reasonable IMO.

ps I do judge the GP couple living opposite who since March have had a whole mix of family members in and out constantly. On Mother’s Day when we were not officially in lockdown but were told to be sensible there were 6 cars parked in the drive.

I break the rules. I see my sister and her children and also my parents. They also see each other and my parents sometimes have the children overnight. My sister and her husband both work in hospitals and the kids are at school so I guess high risk, though both have had covid already. My parents are in their 70s.

I have a partner who works outside the home at his own business and long hours. I wfh and don't really see anyone else.

I realise this is exposing myself and is not allowed. But I have decided to do this and I am sticking with it.

Garlic what makes you think that you’re so special that the rules don’t apply to you? If everyone did what you’re doing the hospitals would be over run and many more people dying. Arrogance like yours at a time when so many people are dying and losing their livelihoods astounds me.