I’ve ruined Christmas for my daughter

[Ronamoaner2021]

So my daughter travelled to London to see her dad prior to this tier 4, mutant strain etc. She usually goes down after Christmas. I drove her to her dads. Tier 4 was then announced, and I’ve just got a positive Covid test. Her dad doesn’t want to a) leave to travel to my tier 3 area b) bring her to potentially catch I from me.

I understand this but I am so upset, she’s never spent Christmas away from me, she really wants to come home. I’ve been in tears thinking ive ruined her Christmas. I know bigger things are going on. But I’m going to be all alone without my baby for the first time

My heart goes out to you! What happens if she tests positive?

So sorry OP. How old is your daughter?

This sounds very hard but it also sounds the more sensible choice. How old is your daughter?

It’s out of your control. How old is your daughter? Try and encourage her to make the most of the situation and enjoy being with her dad. Christmas is a challenge for many people this year. Hope you recover soon.

I would leave her there. What happens if you get quite poorly and just want to lay in bed. That's not a fun chrustmas for your little one either. I'm sure her dad will make it fun.
Hope you recover quickly.

Sending , OP. Sorry this is so hard.

She’s 10, so she will understand. I’ve ordered all her favourite food. I don’t know why I’m so upset. It just couldn’t of happened at a worse time. I shouldn’t of let her go

I’d still go and get her. Fully expect to be told I’m a murderer by the MN sheep

I really feel for you. My DD is 10 and is in isolation at her dads waiting for test results as her step brother has symptoms. I haven't seen her since Thursday and she's crying on the phone wanting to come home. I'm praying it's negative. 😓

Sorry this has happened, and hope you recover quickly and that you and your DD have a good Christmas, but strongly disagree that you shouldn’t have let her visit her father: it was just the usual contact time. One of those things.

If I wasn’t positive I would go within a heartbeat. She’s not vulnerable or anything but I don’t want her to be sick, especially during Christmas.

@Chocolate1992 why though? She's with her dad, she is safe. The OP is positive for COVID, unfair on the emergency services if she is in the unfortunate event of an accident or her car breaks down, unlikely I know but I'm sure they don't want to catch it unnecessarily.

It’s not your fault, don’t blame yourself. You couldn’t forgive yourself if you got her back, infected her and she was badly affected.

Oh god OP, I really feel for you. Your ex/you can, theoretically, drive between tiers because of the child being both parents exception. However, if you've got a positive test, I'm inclined to agree with your ex. Not only do you not want her to get it, but the moment she returns she'd need to self isolate which will be even less fun for her as it limits her even further.

I'd be planning a belated Christmas for the two of you as soon as you are Covid-free and bigging up how much fun it will be to have TWO christmases to her when you speak with her.

@Chocolate1992

I’d still go and get her. Fully expect to be told I’m a murderer by the MN sheep

The MN sheep! 🤣

God, some people are pathetic.

That's really hard OP.

Stop thinking you have ruined her christmas. You haven't. She can have a nice xmas with her dad. Then when you are better she can come home to you and have a family day together.

Bless both of you. Sending hugs x

Oh no, that's rubbish. Have this
Maybe not much consolation, but I'm sure her dad will make sure she has a lovely time.

Thank you guys, I do know she will be made a fuss of and luckily I left her presents there. I’m not allowed out of isolation until the 31st. What a bloody year this has been

Does she never have Christmas with her dad? Maybe this is a nice chance for them to have a special time instead.

Meanwhile your Christmas together is just going to be delayed a bit, thats all. Talk to her and plan your extra Christmas in early January.

There’s always the chance she’s asymptomatic and gave it to you?

Just pick another day to celebrate. It’s nice if it’s her first time she’s spent it with her dad, he must have felt the same in previous years.

Oh that is horrible.

But as you are positive, just leave her there. You will need to keep distance fomr her if she comes home.

Suggets to her that she gets a 2nd Christmas on new Year's day, and then plan a fun day.

I’m sorry to hear about your situation.

I accept some stuff is unavoidable but little things like this just seem to be disregarded in the “fight against the virus”. Nothing will ever convince me that the balance between quality and quantity of life is skewed too far towards the latter.

I've got this with the oldest - she's 23 but before you laugh me out of town it was awful knowing she couldn't come here for Christmas to be with her sibs and "hole up". so I have a game face on for her and have told her she's being a hero (she's going to be with1 other housemate as all the others fled) and we will have a laugh, give it time to settle and you'll pull it out of the bag.

I’m so sorry OP I can totally understand why you are devastated but you have to let her visit her dad and on this one occasion it’s possibly the safest place for her. Let her have Christmas with him then a second one with you.... make it bigger and better when she’s finally home.