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Original poster

I’ve ruined Christmas for my daughter

118 replies

Ronamoaner2021 · 21/12/2020 15:40

So my daughter travelled to London to see her dad prior to this tier 4, mutant strain etc. She usually goes down after Christmas. I drove her to her dads. Tier 4 was then announced, and I’ve just got a positive Covid test. Her dad doesn’t want to a) leave to travel to my tier 3 area b) bring her to potentially catch I from me.

I understand this but I am so upset, she’s never spent Christmas away from me, she really wants to come home. I’ve been in tears thinking ive ruined her Christmas. I know bigger things are going on. But I’m going to be all alone without my baby for the first time

OP posts:
nosswith · 21/12/2020 16:14

Please leave her where she is, the last thing you would want is for her to catch it, or anyone else.

Christmas lasts until January 6th in a way, so you can still have a celebration later.

CharityDingle · 21/12/2020 16:15

No, you haven't ruined Christmas.

First of all, mind yourself, rest up and recover. She is safe and well.
Have a nice celebration when she returns. Take care.

RedToothBrush · 21/12/2020 16:15

Don't go any pick her up. If you do you will have to drive via Barnard Castle to test your eyesight is working properly first.

Dahlietta · 21/12/2020 16:17

Can you freeze all the food?

RelightMyPfizer · 21/12/2020 16:17

If you are alone order an oximeter from amazon

RelightMyPfizer · 21/12/2020 16:19

@Ronamoaner2021

Thank you guys, I do know she will be made a fuss of and luckily I left her presents there. I’m not allowed out of isolation until the 31st. What a bloody year this has been
That can't be right

When did you get symptoms? You can't have had symptoms and got test results in a few hours

Luffsmypup · 21/12/2020 16:19

Oh what a horrible situation, I do feel very sorry for you both. Freeze what special food you can and promise her another Xmas day when she gets home. Have plenty of zoom and FaceTime video calls with her as I’d imagine she will be worried about you being positive.
Take care of yourself.

Arthersleep · 21/12/2020 16:21

Well, you haven't ruined her Christmas unless you haven't been following the rules! You need to stop feeling so guilty. Use this as a rare opportunity to look after yourself, watch lots of films and TV that you want to and put your feet up. Flowers

Original poster
Ronamoaner2021 · 21/12/2020 16:22

2 weeks isolation am I right?

OP posts:
Candyfloss99 · 21/12/2020 16:23

It sounds like it's ruined for you, not her.

yetanothernamitynamechange · 21/12/2020 16:24

Its really shit for you but just plan a second christmas a bit later. I suspect you will find christmas harder than her sonce she will be with her dad and you will likely be alone (not saying this to make you feel shit, but to make you feel less guilty) so plan a really nice day whatever that looks like - whether its a full christmas lunch for just you or facemasks and chocolate cake all day.

yetanothernamitynamechange · 21/12/2020 16:25

(different circumstances but when my son spent christmas at his dads a few years back and I was all alone, I planned a day where I slept in very late, spent 2 1/2 hours reading in a bubble bath, lounged in a face mask and had chinese food. Basically doing stuff that you would normally feel guilty/lazy/greedy for doing.

RobinRedford · 21/12/2020 16:27

I agree that your Dd should stay put but in no way have You ruined Your dds Christmas. There’s no way you could have predicted this would happen. It just means you will both have a different one from normal.

I know it’s not easy but try to be upbeat for your daughter. I’m sure she’ll have a lovely time with her dad.
Make plans to celebrate when she is able to come home.

AnathemaPulsifer · 21/12/2020 16:27

@Ronamoaner2021

2 weeks isolation am I right?
Ten days www.nhs.uk/conditions/coronavirus-covid-19/self-isolation-and-treatment/how-long-to-self-isolate/

Sorry you won’t get Christmas with your daughter :(

SwanShaped · 21/12/2020 16:27

Isn’t it 10 days now?

knittingaddict · 21/12/2020 16:27

Celebrate Christmas on another day. We've done this before and it was fine.

StrangeAddiction · 21/12/2020 16:28

You haven't ruined it for her so don't worry, what would ruin her Christmas would be watching her dm poorly and potentially catching it and not feeling very well.

Can you FaceTime on Christmas Day?
I know that you'll be sad that she isn't with you but it sounds like she's with her extended family who dote in her, it'll be a nice time for her.

I hope you're feeling well and have a speedy recovery Smile

RelightMyPfizer · 21/12/2020 16:28

It is 10 days from the 1st symptoms- not the test date-- it is very clear when you get the test results.

It has always been 10 days.

luckylavender · 21/12/2020 16:31

@Chocolate1992 - you'd go & get her?! Wind up surely.

Bibidy · 21/12/2020 16:34

It's sad for you but your daughter will be fine. Tbh it's lucky that she is there rather than stuck isolating at home with you, think of it that way x

BaronessVonCake · 21/12/2020 16:35

I can totally understand why you are so sad at not spending Xmas with your daughter.

But as you are positive, you cannot go and get her.

Maybe try and put as positive spin on it with DD - you can get to have an amazing second Xmas day on whatever date it is that you finish your isolation?

MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 21/12/2020 16:37

Have you heard of women's Christmas on Epiphany (6 Jan), OP? It's big in Ireland and a lovely tradition - see link.

Why don't you arrange a really special celebration for the two of you - decorations, cake, her favourite meal etc? That way, you're not trying to do Christmas Day twice (with her dad on the real day and afterwards with you), which can feel a bit lame - you're doing a special new celebration for her. Even if she's back at school, you could do it in the evening - you could even make it a surprise.

WorraLiberty · 21/12/2020 16:37

@Ronamoaner2021

Thank you guys, I do know she will be made a fuss of and luckily I left her presents there. I’m not allowed out of isolation until the 31st. What a bloody year this has been
I don't understand why you left her presents there?
theleafandnotthetree · 21/12/2020 16:38

For some reason, I find this whole idea of you having 'ruined' her Christmas because she's not with you a bit self-absorbed/self-important. She's be with a parent, has her presents and she'll see you soon. In my experience, as someone in a 50/50 parenting situation where I don't have my children with me every second Christmas, it is you who will feel the loss more acutely and it is indeed very hard. I also find the whole idea of her not being 'home' for Christmas, bring her home, etc. a bit hard on the dad, surely she also has a 'home' with him to at least some extent. And if he hasn't gotten to spend Christmas with her in some years, which you seem to imply, perhaps it's time he did.

ChocolateSantaisthebestkind · 21/12/2020 16:39

OP, So sorry this has happened to you and your daughter. On the bright side though, at least she is with her dad and she gets to have 2 Christmases-- which is pretty awesome when you are 10! You can also do Facetime or Zoom or something xxx