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Covid

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Original poster

I’ve ruined Christmas for my daughter

118 replies

Ronamoaner2021 · 21/12/2020 15:40

So my daughter travelled to London to see her dad prior to this tier 4, mutant strain etc. She usually goes down after Christmas. I drove her to her dads. Tier 4 was then announced, and I’ve just got a positive Covid test. Her dad doesn’t want to a) leave to travel to my tier 3 area b) bring her to potentially catch I from me.

I understand this but I am so upset, she’s never spent Christmas away from me, she really wants to come home. I’ve been in tears thinking ive ruined her Christmas. I know bigger things are going on. But I’m going to be all alone without my baby for the first time

OP posts:

christinarossetti19 · 21/12/2020 16:40

You haven't ruined Christmas. You didn't plan to catch covid.

Your dd will be fine. It's another unexpected twist in a year of unexpected twists.

It will be hard for you, so rest up and look forward to being able to see your dd in less than two weeks. You can speak on the phone/online and have a New Year celebration.

VinylDetective · 21/12/2020 16:41

@Chocolate1992

I’d still go and get her. Fully expect to be told I’m a murderer by the MN sheep

You’d knowingly expose your child to covid? Really?

mocktail · 21/12/2020 16:42

It's 10 days from when your symptoms started.

shash1982 · 21/12/2020 16:42

It's 10 days from the start of your symptoms, not the test date.
Hope you don't feel too poorly and manage to have some time to relax.

CodenameVillanelle · 21/12/2020 16:43

@Chocolate1992

I’d still go and get her. Fully expect to be told I’m a murderer by the MN sheep

Wow Not a murderer but a twat

Original poster

Ronamoaner2021 · 21/12/2020 16:43

I left her presents from him there. She has a pile here. I didn’t really want to go into it. But her dad hasn’t been in her life for many years. She’s been spending time with him and wanted to go down before Christmas. It’s not that I think she will have no Christmas without me, it’s all she’s ever known.

Thank you for all the suggestions about doing it another day I’ve stuck what I can in the freezer. I’m in contact with her so we will FaceTime on the day so I can see her opening her presents etc.

OP posts:

CodenameVillanelle · 21/12/2020 16:44

Have a new year Christmas Day celebration with her!

AcrossthePond55 · 21/12/2020 16:44

She'll be fine. In fact, at her dad's is probably the best and safest place for her to be whilst you're infectious.

Depending on how long she's been there and when you became positive it may be a good idea for her dad to get her tested, too. I'm in the US and here (depending on dates) your DD would have to quarantine, too.

ClaireP20 · 21/12/2020 16:46

@Chocolate1992

I’d still go and get her. Fully expect to be told I’m a murderer by the MN sheep

Yes I actually think I would too. Or basically beg him to bring her home...

ravenmum · 21/12/2020 16:46

Definitely sounds like your Christmas that's ruined, not hers! Not meant in a nasty way, though - what a pain in the arse for you to be alone. I'd sell it to her as her getting TWO Christmas Days now, as you can go the whole hog and do everything you would have done on Christmas Day when she gets back. Yummy dinner, crackers, films, chocolates, games ... (A few cheap little extra presents, or maybe ask her if she wants to save a couple of the ones she would have got until then?)

And on the 25th you make sure to have a nice dinner and some films too, even on your own.

HitthatroadJack · 21/12/2020 16:46

It's ruining YOUR Christmas, which is tough

but she will be absolutely fine, with her parent, and unless there's a massive drip feed, having a lovely Christmas.

Please don't ruin it for her by making her feel guilty and letting her know how down and miserable it makes you, and how she should feel bad. She really shouldn't.

On the plus side, it will be your turn to have her for Christmas next year, instead of her going to her dad then.

You will celebrate a bit later this year, it's understandable to be sad, but it's not the end of the world.

Unless you just split up, I am confused why she never spent a Christmas with her own father before! It doesn't really sound fair.

ClaireP20 · 21/12/2020 16:46

@mocktail

It's 10 days from when your symptoms started.

Yes good point!

Thehogfatherstolemycurry · 21/12/2020 16:47

Aw that's really shit for you, sorry
I'd do Christmas and New years eve all in one, it'll be really special. X

Madcats · 21/12/2020 16:48

I think for most people there will always be a Christmas that didn't quite go to plan. In my case, I had gastric flu when I was about 5 (so Mum stayed home to look after me and the rest of the family went to my grandparents as planned). My mum still remembers is 50 years on!

Hopefully your DD is going to dodge having Covid - that has to be a good gift. I think it must be quite worrying to be a child stuck at home and old enough to realise that their parent is unwell.

When did your symptoms start OP? You have to be a few days into isolation already?

As others have said, get yourself an oxometer and ask a friend/family to check you are okay at prearranged times (in case you do deteriorate but don't really notice). Read some books, watch some telly....look forward to seeing her again in a few days' time.

ancientgran · 21/12/2020 16:49

I don’t know why I’m so upset.

Well to hazard a guess.

Your little girl is upset and you can't sort it for her
Your Christmas plans are messed up
You have Covid so maybe not feeling great?
It's the last straw at the end of a terrible year.

I hope you don't get covid badly, I hope your little girl copes, the main thing is she is safe with her dad and you will see her soon. So rest, be nice to yourself and get well soon. I think hibernation is a good option this year.

katy1213 · 21/12/2020 16:51

She's with her dad who is probably thrilled and will do everything to give her a perfectly lovely Christmas.

katy1213 · 21/12/2020 16:52

But hope you get well soon!

MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 21/12/2020 16:52

Yes I actually think I would too. Or basically beg him to bring her home

I'd rather be a sheep than a selfish twat.

Not many children get really sick with Covid, but some do. And they can pass it on to other, more vulnerable people. I just can't cope with the idea of a mother being so monumentally self-involved and selfish that she would put her child at risk just to have a nice Christmas.

Thank god the OP is more sensible.

Witchend · 21/12/2020 16:52

As long as you don't show her you're upset you won't spoil her Christmas. Tell her that you've arranged with Santa that he can drop the presents off the day after she arrives back with you, and then she'll get two Christmases. Isn't she lucky?

What would potentially spoil Christmas for her would be going and getting her, and insisting she comes back to an ill parent who may not feel up to doing much, and then potentially giving her Covid as an extra present.

theleafandnotthetree · 21/12/2020 16:53

Just to say, in case I sounded heartless earlier, that I really do know how hard it is and how lonely it will feel. But as others said, look after yourself as well as you can and put as cheerful a face on it as you can. Tone is everything here and there are many different ways of saying 'I miss you', some of which will make her feel bad others which will make her feel loved. While you will never forget this Christmas, there will be others and they might be all the sweeter.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 21/12/2020 16:54

Its really shit for you but just plan a second christmas a bit later

I was going to suggest this - it's something to look forward to.

And it means if you feel really poorly you van just hole up in bed with a hot drink and do nothing until you feel better..

Chocolate4me · 21/12/2020 16:57

I'd feel sad too, generally feel sad already with all that is going on and it being Christmas but that scenario would make me cry too.
Hopefully she would have avoided getting it, but if she gets it and tests positive you can always go and get her and bring her back? Obviously if you're up to driving and don't stop anywhere. Tell her you will celebrate Christmas with her when she returns and atleast it might mean she doesn't catch it, unless of course she has it already but hasn't shown signs

Marvelle · 21/12/2020 17:01

@RelightMyPfizer

If you are alone order an oximeter from amazon

why?

DolphinsAndNemesis · 21/12/2020 17:01

@Ronamoaner2021

You left her presents from her dad at his house? I don't understand what you mean by that. And she usually visits him after Christmas but he hasn't been in her life for many years?

In any case, of course it's rubbish not to be with your DD on Christmas. But you can have a brilliant celebration with her when she gets home. I would do my best to look on the bright side for her sake, so that she enjoys herself with her dad and doesn't worry or feel guilty about you being on your own.

Original poster

Ronamoaner2021 · 21/12/2020 17:03

He lives with his mum. So she would visit his mum. He would be wherever he fancied. It’s only recently he has tried to be in her life properly. So yeah she would usually go to his after Christmas.

OP posts:

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