Cancelling mum coming for Christmas

[DonkeyMcFluff]

Tier 3 here. We’ve been very careful to stay safe so we don’t get ill over Christmas. We booked holidays in order to have a week off work before the 25th. DC finished school at the same time. Pre-ordered most of the food weeks ago and froze it. Pre-booked a fresh food delivery which arrived today. Wrapped gifts early and dropped them off. We literally don’t need to go out again for the rest of the year. So we can be safe and healthy over Christmas, enjoying films and walks and games with DC.

My mother (our bubble, retired, never goes out) has announced that she’s off to the hairdresser on Wednesday 23rd. We’ve had a huge argument because it’s an unnecessary risk. If she catches Covid at the last minute it’ll ruin Christmas for all of us. So I’ve said if she goes to the hairdresser she needs to isolate away from us and not risk our Christmas bubble.

AIBU? It’s just a stupid hairdo and it’s not like she’s going out anywhere or seeing anyone except us. I’m not having my hair done, it looks awful and I’m just putting up with it because the world has gone to shit and I have to prioritise safety over looking pretty. I’ve gone to huge effort to make sure DC have a lovely safe Christmas that’s not spoiled by getting ill and I’m not willing to risk that for her fucking hair.

YANBU. She needs to choose between the haircut and seeing you.

You are definitely not being unreasonable

YANBU - advice is to behave as you are a symptomless carrier - that way we can all be safe until the vaccine has had time to make its impact.

I would not allow her to come. It's a no-brainer. She's chosen hairdo over her family's safety and health.

Let her sit alone Christmas and ponder that.

To be honest I think going to the hairdresser is safer than shopping in a supermarket at the moment. I went to the hairdresser last week and I was the only one in there. They wiped the chair and sink after I had my hair washed and it all felt very safe. All appointments were pre booked only and there was no waiting about in reception.

YANBU, you've made choices on how you want to be and she accepts or doesn't join.

@DirtyDancing

It’s 70% transmission rate. I know someone who got it in a local park talking to a Nanny. If she comes to your house, during a pandemic, then she has to respect your rules. The problem with the spread of this virus is that everyone thinks they won’t get it. If we all act as individuals, rather than the sum of our whole parts, we are never going to get out of this cycle.

YANBU

It isn’t a 70% transmission rate. It’s 70% more transmissible than the other strain. And your friend has no idea where she caught it.

YABVU. The risk is small. She’s your mum.

YANBU.
She should cancel when she knows how you feel. It's your house and you are hosting her.
I'd be very annoyed if she put her trip to the hairdressers above spending Christmas with her family.

@MarcelineMissouri

YABU and sound a little over the top unless anyone is vulnerable? You are allowed to go to the hairdressers!

"Allowed" doesn't mean advisable or sensible.

How do you think we got to be a fucking year into this with no end in sight?? Because of people doing exactly as they pleased and scoffing at those who take serious precautions.

@PerveenMistry co plying with the rules for your tier is absolutely not ‘doing exactly as you please’. If the rules aren’t considered safe enough then we should all be in lockdown. I’ve had 2 haircuts since first lockdown. Well organised and safe. People on here absolutely do my head in about risk levels. I follow all the rules as they stand at any particular time. That’s quite enough.

Of course YANBU. Some people are much slower than others to adapt to all the new rules, and clearly your DM has not quite got there yet on the latest situation. Stick to your guns. You are doing the right thing.

Wouldn't you cancel if she went to the GP or the dentist or the vets or the chiropractor or the chiropodist or the pharmacy or wherever, or is it because you think Hairdressing is less vital? Maybe her priories are just different, and so she sees this as a necessary risk in order to do a necessary task, whereas you see it as an unnecessary risk as it's just vanity.

I’m not willing to risk that for her fucking hair.

I’m sorry OP but that last bit really made me laugh! I think I’m getting a little hysterical with all this COVID, Christmas, Brexshit stuff going on 😂

My friend went to the hairdresser a few days ago, then got a text yesterday to say she has tested positive for COVID! Friend now having to self isolate over Xmas, won’t be able to see her vulnerable mum etc. Like with anything there is a risk so don’t blame you for wanting her to be cautious.

Hairdressers are being hyper careful. Wearing ppa etc. You’ve already said that she hasn’t been anywhere else and she is alone.

Definitely you are being unreasonable!

Your poor mum. She’s looking forward to Christmas with you and so she got her hair done by someone with a visor on.

Please show some humanity. 🤦‍♀️

Corilee - I doubt if your friend got it from the hairdresser if her symptoms were that quick. The incubation period is usually 5-6 days, but can be longer.

Your poor mum. She’s looking forward to Christmas with you and so she got her hair done by someone with a visor on

^^ this. How heartless can you be.

The amount of effort that hairdressers have gone to in order to be classed as "covid safe" is phenomenal.

I think you’re being excessively cautious, but I guess that’s your right to do so.

Whether YABU or not depends on what you said to your mother. Did she know her invite was provisional on her taking similar precautions to you?

@Corilee2806

My friend went to the hairdresser a few days ago, then got a text yesterday to say she has tested positive for COVID! Friend now having to self isolate over Xmas, won’t be able to see her vulnerable mum etc. Like with anything there is a risk so don’t blame you for wanting her to be cautious.

That time line doesn't work really. If what you say is right then it's highly unlikely that she got it from the hairdressers.

Personally I think you are being YABU, OP, as all hairdressers have put strict measures in place to stay safe.

Did your mum know what you were doing and what your expectations were re: self isolating before Xmas? Are you going to continue SI after Xmas? I'm assuming you can't lock yourselves away forever. Because, if by a small chance she did pick it up
At the hairdressers, then it wouldn't come to light until after the holiday period so it wouldn't ruin your Xmas really...

@DirtyDancing

It’s 70% transmission rate. I know someone who got it in a local park talking to a Nanny. If she comes to your house, during a pandemic, then she has to respect your rules. The problem with the spread of this virus is that everyone thinks they won’t get it. If we all act as individuals, rather than the sum of our whole parts, we are never going to get out of this cycle.

YANBU

No it isn't. Unless the only person they'd interacted with was the Nanny in the park ?? Seems unlikely. I've worked front line since March and haven't caught it.

@TheKeatingFive

I think you’re being excessively cautious, but I guess that’s your right to do so.

Whether YABU or not depends on what you said to your mother. Did she know her invite was provisional on her taking similar precautions to you?

Wot she said!

YANBU. also your house, your cooking, your rules

DirtyDancing
It’s 70% transmission rate. I know someone who got it in a local park talking to a Nanny. If she comes to your house, during a pandemic, then she has to respect your rules. The problem with the spread of this virus is that everyone thinks they won’t get it. If we all act as individuals, rather than the sum of our whole parts, we are never going to get out of this cycle.

This is simply not true. They have guessed and I mean stuck a finger in the air and guessed that it’s 70% more transmissible not that there is a 70% transmission rate! The person you know did not catch it from the park outside they have no idea where they caught it from. Please stop scaremongering and OP I’m a bit torn on if you are being unreasonable but if you have gone to so much effort to keep her safe it would be a bit rude of her to prioritise a hair appointment over a safe Christmas.

I wouldn’t be at all comfortable with that