Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Tier 4 - can I form a support bubble and go stay with my parents?

425 replies

yellowtail1 · 19/12/2020 16:49

I live in London with my DH and our 10 week old baby. Can we go and stay with my parents (who live in a tier 2 area) over Christmas by forming a support bubble and if so, how long could we stay with them for? Sorry if this is a stupid question - my head is all over the place and I’m just so confused. Can anyone help?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
musicalfrog · 19/12/2020 20:29

@Hotpinkangel19

I hope you aren't coming into my area, just spread it around because you can? How selfish.
Such a wanky thing to say.

OP I haven't rtft but I hope you are still planning to be with your parents for Christmas (as you are quite entitled to), and that your mental health improves as a result xx

beavisandbutthead · 19/12/2020 20:29

I am sick of folks choosing to ignore the rules or tweak it slightly to suit themselves. The virus is changing there has been a massive increase of cases in london. My DH hasnt seen his parents in months, he has terminal cancer, we cant see his brother...we are following the rules. His parents are devastated as they now cant travel too london to spend xmas with my DH brother, they couldnt visit us today due to tier 3 restrictions. Can we all just accept that we are in the middle of a pandemic and the virus doesnt pause when your seeing your mates or other family members. Please all reign it in as I am truly fucked off as a full time worker and carer to a sick DH who has no let out at all....

Grenlei · 19/12/2020 20:30

You can feel isolated in a relationship, the two aren't mutually exclusive Hmm

As for all the rhetoric about spreading Covid...I WFH. My DP works (and lives alone). He gets his shopping delivered. Basically never sees anyone. Apart from going to the shops, I am the same. I have 2 DC living at home. One hasn't left the house for 6 months. All in all I think we are pretty bloody low risk and there's no way we won't be spending Christmas and NY together even though I am tier 4 and he's tier 2.

sparklewhynot · 19/12/2020 20:33

I'm in a support bubble with my mum for childcare purposes. But as i wouldn't be using her for childcare over Christmas, I'd only be visiting for social reasons, I presume this is now not allowed. So in the case of OP, wouldn't this be the same? They don't NEED her parents to provide childcare during this time. Or have I got it wrong?

ComDummings · 19/12/2020 20:34

@beavisandbutthead

I am sick of folks choosing to ignore the rules or tweak it slightly to suit themselves. The virus is changing there has been a massive increase of cases in london. My DH hasnt seen his parents in months, he has terminal cancer, we cant see his brother...we are following the rules. His parents are devastated as they now cant travel too london to spend xmas with my DH brother, they couldnt visit us today due to tier 3 restrictions. Can we all just accept that we are in the middle of a pandemic and the virus doesnt pause when your seeing your mates or other family members. Please all reign it in as I am truly fucked off as a full time worker and carer to a sick DH who has no let out at all....
Nobody is bending or tweaking the rules here. The OP asked if she could see her parents and she has had some shit and incorrect advice but also some correct and good advice that she can form a support bubble because she has a small baby. It’s within the rules. It is not a tweak.
ComDummings · 19/12/2020 20:35

@sparklewhynot

I'm in a support bubble with my mum for childcare purposes. But as i wouldn't be using her for childcare over Christmas, I'd only be visiting for social reasons, I presume this is now not allowed. So in the case of OP, wouldn't this be the same? They don't NEED her parents to provide childcare during this time. Or have I got it wrong?
Support bubbles for people with babies under 1 year are not specifically for childcare they are for support. So it is allowed. OP needs support and she’s allowed to get that from her family if she bubbles with them.
ineedaholidaynow · 19/12/2020 20:35

The more people who form support bubbles in the next few days the more likely the rules will change in respect of support bubbles.

sparklewhynot · 19/12/2020 20:39

@ComDummings and I understand that. But she has her husband. My partner works away and will be away over the Christmas period. I was seeing my parents on the 26th, having made plans already for the 25th. I rely on my mum for support too but because my children are older, I can't see them over Christmas even though I see them Monday-Friday evenings most weeks. The mind boggles.

Nefelibata86 · 19/12/2020 20:39

@beavisandbutthead
I’m sorry for your situation but I hope that wasn’t aimed at the OP. She is operating within the guidance.
Separately reading this thread is not helping my feeling of despondency this evening. So much confidence when spreading misinformation about support bubble guidance. Gleeful put downs. Lack of empathy ir even basic understanding as to why there is an exemption for this age category. I’ll spell it out. You don’t get much more vulnerable than the under 1 age group. Pnd and pna. I can go on but I’m starting to despair

Tyranttoddler · 19/12/2020 20:41

[quote sparklewhynot]@ComDummings and I understand that. But she has her husband. My partner works away and will be away over the Christmas period. I was seeing my parents on the 26th, having made plans already for the 25th. I rely on my mum for support too but because my children are older, I can't see them over Christmas even though I see them Monday-Friday evenings most weeks. The mind boggles.[/quote]
I hear you but you're mixing support and childcare bubbles. I use my parents for a childcare bubble but people with a baby under 1 can have a support bubble and act as though they are one household.

Tyranttoddler · 19/12/2020 20:41

OP you have a 10 week old. Go to your mum's.

musicalfrog · 19/12/2020 20:43

Husbands aren't always the best support for a new mother @sparklewhynot plus what if husband is struggling and needs support also.

mumsyandtiredzz · 19/12/2020 20:43

OP isn’t bending or changing any rules.

This is a new mum with birth trauma and pnd, why are people so desperate to try and pick a hole or find a way to tell her she’s not allowed or is breaking the rules, even when clearly shown otherwise.

C8H10N4O2 · 19/12/2020 20:43

There are going to be some legal exemptions to the rules about travelling out of Tier 4 areas (which could include travelling to a support bubble) but these haven’t been published yet

The No 10 statement explicitly excluded support bubbles from the new regulations. So unless Boris was lying through his teeth or incompetent...oh yes, good point.

The reality is a lot of the support bubbles are family carers so to ban them now would leave vulnerable people without care.

fluffiphlox · 19/12/2020 20:43

I thought that those of us in Tier 4 have to stay in it. It’s not like you’re on your own.

sparklewhynot · 19/12/2020 20:44

@Tyranttoddler it's rubbish isn't it. Fair dos to all those who can do this, like the op, but it just doesn't make any sense. We were doing a Christmas Day#2 on Boxing Day...so I'll now just stuff my face and watch films all day with the kids. For the OP, go to your mums but I'd be going now.

Tyranttoddler · 19/12/2020 20:45

The gov website says you can leave tier 4 for support bubbles. There's the answer. Anyone else's thoughts are irrelevant.

Tyranttoddler · 19/12/2020 20:46

[quote sparklewhynot]@Tyranttoddler it's rubbish isn't it. Fair dos to all those who can do this, like the op, but it just doesn't make any sense. We were doing a Christmas Day#2 on Boxing Day...so I'll now just stuff my face and watch films all day with the kids. For the OP, go to your mums but I'd be going now.[/quote]
It is what it is, I just hope for brighter days ahead. Hope you have a good christmas with your kids.

Universallyhappy · 19/12/2020 20:49

“Travelling out of a tier 4 area
You must stay at home and not leave your Tier 4 area, other than for legally permitted reasons such as:

travel to work where you cannot work from home
travel to education and for caring responsibilities
visit those in your support bubble - or your childcare bubble for childcare
attend hospital, GP and other medical appointments or visits where you have had an accident or are concerned about your health
The full list of exceptions will be published in the Regulations.”

If you have a support bubble (under 1 year old) you can travel outside tier 4 to visit your support bubble.

MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 19/12/2020 20:50

@mumsyandtiredzz

OP isn’t bending or changing any rules.

This is a new mum with birth trauma and pnd, why are people so desperate to try and pick a hole or find a way to tell her she’s not allowed or is breaking the rules, even when clearly shown otherwise.

Because it's fucking idiocy to risk taking the new Covid strain to areas that don't yet have it. It has a 70% higher transmission rate than earlier strains. It's going to spread like wildfire.

I don't see how anyone's mental health will be improved by the knowledge that they gave their parents Covid. Especially if the parents die.

Teakind · 19/12/2020 20:50

Yes you can have a support bubble as you have a baby under 1.

I’m not sure about the tier 4 rules but I would think it’s technically allowed.

All those piling on to the OP, she’s admitted she is having a hard time. Having a new baby is hard enough without having to deal with all this isolation as well.

NelliePig · 19/12/2020 20:51

Of course you can! You have a baby under one and support bubbles are exempt from restrictions.
Its brilliant that we wont miss out on our babies first Christmas! Enjoy xx

BigSisLittleSisCardboardBox · 19/12/2020 20:56

Well, FWIW OP, I think you can. I can’t imagine how hard it is to have a tiny baby just now.

People are upset that some reasons to travel/bubble etc fall within the rules and some don’t, but that’s the nature of rules, there has to be a line somewhere and some people will disagree about where that line should fall.

I wouldn’t come on here to check rules.

cupcakesandglitter · 19/12/2020 20:57

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

NelliePig · 19/12/2020 21:03

There are some seriously salty people on here tonight OP upset that their Christmas is ruined and obviously jealous ours arent. I'd take yourself off here now and have a nice evening with your little one. You absolutely 100% can go, you can stay as long as you like. Have a lovely christmas x