Tier 4 - can I form a support bubble and go stay with my parents?

[yellowtail1]

I live in London with my DH and our 10 week old baby. Can we go and stay with my parents (who live in a tier 2 area) over Christmas by forming a support bubble and if so, how long could we stay with them for? Sorry if this is a stupid question - my head is all over the place and I’m just so confused. Can anyone help?

I thought this was supposed to be a place new mums could get support

No, this is an open internet site where people post their opinions.

One very valid one is that there is a difference between what is legal and what is right

A local support bubble is not an absolute requirement, but can be considerably more useful than one which requires a significant journey. It's about to be the months with the worst weather. A friend you can see indoors easily and regularly might be a considerably better choice in those circumstances than a parent a long drive away.

Remember you are meant to have just the one support bubble.

Another angle is that it is just the one bubble partner for the household - where is DH in this and does this choice meet his current needs at all?

Also, OP needs to seek advice on her MH from HV or GP asap.

@AuntieStella

And what if she hasn't got anyone 'local' to form a bubble with?

Her baby is 10 weeks old, not 10 months old, Maybe the bubble was always on the cards.

When I had our baby in September both my HV and GP said they were advising women who had just had a baby to not isolate themselves when their partner had gone back to work. So I didnt and have been seeing my parents all along.

There is obviously a massive concern for new mothers, especially first time mothers which is why the bubble for under 1s came in.

Having a baby this year has been absolutely awful and people here are trying to make the OP feel shitty when she's got a tiny baby and her mental health is at rock bottom.

This is not a competition to see who can have the most miserable time. She is entitled to form a bubble with whoever she bloody wants and id that person is an hour of 4 hours away she isn't doing anything wrong.

@Grenlei

You can feel isolated in a relationship, the two aren't mutually exclusive

As for all the rhetoric about spreading Covid...I WFH. My DP works (and lives alone). He gets his shopping delivered. Basically never sees anyone. Apart from going to the shops, I am the same. I have 2 DC living at home. One hasn't left the house for 6 months. All in all I think we are pretty bloody low risk and there's no way we won't be spending Christmas and NY together even though I am tier 4 and he's tier 2.

Right! The number one complaint on mumsnet is about husbands, but people are acting like that’s all the support network you need. Especially a new mother with one. Can’t believe what we’re reading here.

@Tavannach

They’re showing Boris on tv again. He actually says that support bubbles are still there for people at particular risk of loneliness or isolation.

Absolutely no point in listening to Johnson. He is fucking useless.
I don't think you can form a support bubble just to see your parents at Christmas, and I'm fairly sure you can't travel out of tier 4 to a lower tier area. Why would you want to? There's a real risk you'd be spreading the virus.

Can we all, before giving advice, just check the guidance which is clear the OP is fine to go to her parents.

@QueenoftheAir

If you have a support bubble (under 1 year old) you can travel outside tier 4 to visit your support bubble.

But if the OP needed support and/or childcare, and that has been allowed since 2December (I stand corrected about that) then why hasn’t she done it since 2December or thereabouts? If support was needed so desperately generally ? Surely that would have been the thing to do, because otherwise it looks like simply getting together for Christmas. And doing that involves travel from a Tier 4 area.

Gosh if this useless government had managed a proper testing regime then the OP might be safer in travelling.

Just a thought, but people think they can cope and try to cope for longer than they should. So some answers to your question might be.

1. OP may not have known straight away about the change in the rule. I mean you didn’t.

1. The government announced five days of frivolity and OP thought, “well everything will be alright, cause I’ll get help then. I can hold out till then.” I mean how many of us didn’t say that and we don’t all have newborn babies.

Just saying numerous reasons why.

@ineedaholidaynow

If it wasn't Christmas next week would you have been asking on here would you be able to see your parents *@yellowtail1*

Probably not, she’d still be suffering.

@ineedaholidaynow

It's not just the parents taking the risk though is it. Someone is travelling from tier 4 so potentially taking this new variant virus with them to an area that possibly doesn't have it at the moment

Someone who is likely to be all day at home, everyday, possibly isolating before that reported 5 days of frivolity.

Guys it’s not hard to imagine someone taking precautions in time for the planned festive period. Why presume she’s been careless and more likely to have COVID. Why would her travel necessarily be on public transport?

Such negativity on some of these posts. OP enjoy your permitted Christmas. Come back refreshed and strong enough to take motherhood to the next level.

On reading the whole thread now it sounds like the OP should move in with her parents. for a while.

I was harsh initially as it appeared she wanted to travel between tiers just on Xmas day which didn’t make sense to me as to why someone would take that risk. However given her mental health she needs to speak to her parents, get rl support and pack a large case

@yellowtail1

OP is entitled to form a support bubble, that is clear. There are no restrictions on where that bubble needs to be - the wording says "local wherever possible" but it is not mandatory.

So yes, OP, you can travel to your parents and be tested as a single household

@Violetroselily thanks. Do you know how long we’d be allowed to stay with them - would it be Christmas Day only? We were planning to do five days before today’s announcement. Sorry again for the stupid questions - my head is spinning.

You cant stay overnight. So you can visit your support bubble at anytime but no overnight stays OP

You cant stay overnight. So you can visit your support bubble at anytime but no overnight stays OP

This is not correct. You need to read the guidance again.

Again this is incorrect. You CAN stay overnight it is in the guidance. Poor OP came for some advice and got pages of judgement and lack of empathy for her situation. OP if you are still reading this please go to your parents, let them look after you and baby for a bit and try and enjoy your Christmas.

FFS this is worse than Donald Trump's Twitter feed for fake news.

Loud and clear for those at the back: YOU CAN STAY OVERNIGHT WITH YOUR SUPPORT BUBBLE!

Live @beavisandbutthead I was initially sceptical, I was wrong. I now see that the OP is really in need of more support than her DH alone can give her.

It looks as though OP is in a bit of a bad situation which she herself didn't really at first realise or realise how bad she was feeling. So I hope that posting here helped her articulate to herself that she needs more extended support. She needs her parents as support, not just for CHristmas Day. Good luck @yellowtail1 It will get better.

I have lost count of the number of times here and on FB pages I have had to correct people saying you can't stay overnight with your support bubble. You can!

Honestly if people don't understand the guidance that's fine but it yet stop presenting erroneous assumption or misinterpretation as fact.

@musicalfrog 😂

@AuntieStella

I thought this was supposed to be a place new mums could get support

No, this is an open internet site where people post their opinions.

One very valid one is that there is a difference between what is legal and what is right

A local support bubble is not an absolute requirement, but can be considerably more useful than one which requires a significant journey. It's about to be the months with the worst weather. A friend you can see indoors easily and regularly might be a considerably better choice in those circumstances than a parent a long drive away.

Remember you are meant to have just the one support bubble.

Wow. What an incredibly sanctimonious post.

OP - you are within the rules. Have a lovely Christmas with your family and newborn.

Yes please go. You have a newborn and your parents are in tier 2. I highly doubt you and your OH have been mixing with many people. Merry Christmas.

Plagueville 😂😂

Erm....nope, besides I’m sure the people in tier 2 would be delighted to receive you!! 🙄🙄🙄 Up north we’ve been sanctioned for months, southerners really don’t seem to feel the tiers apply to them IMHO 🤷🏼‍♀️ One day and it’s panic stations.

You absolutely can form a support bubble with another household as you have a baby under 1. But Boris did say that although you can still mix with your support bubbles, this should only be done if someone is at risk of being alone at Christmas. We can form a bubble with MIL as we have a baby, but we’re not using it within tier 4 restrictions as it’s not absolutely necessary to any of our mental health (she lives with her husband). I’d say in your case although you’re allowed to form a bubble, don’t if you can avoid it. You don’t necessarily need it for the support and the last thing you want to do is bring it out of London with you.

Unfortunately not. If you can get there and back in a day, you can visit them outdoors. If your mum or dad lived alone, they can form a support bubble with you or, if you were a single parent, you could form one with your parents.

Glad we're all clear about this then.....!

@Blacktothepink

You need to go tonight

This why this country is having such huge issues.

@Jontomsam

Erm....nope, besides I’m sure the people in tier 2 would be delighted to receive you!! 🙄🙄🙄 Up north we’ve been sanctioned for months, southerners really don’t seem to feel the tiers apply to them IMHO 🤷🏼‍♀️ One day and it’s panic stations.

Yes she can People with babies who are under 1 can form a support bubble. People have been using this for about a month now. Her parents live 1 hour away so it's not impractical for a support bubble.

I'm in tier 4 but its about 5 miles to tier 2. If I needed a childcare or support bubble I could legally use a person in T2.