I’m on CPAP - please help me survive hell

[LittleSpyintheSky]

I’m on CPAP. Everyone is doing their best to keep me alive but I feel traumatised. Family and friends are still asleep. Is anyone there to talk to me?

Also remember that you’ll be so weak from not sleeping. Doubt I could walk two steps if I hadn’t slept in days. Sounds totally dreadful for you.

So pleased to hear you're feeling a bit better, op.

I came over from the train thread too. I’m so sorry you are dealing with this. It sounds like you are a fighter. Hopefully daylight hours will bring you some comfort. I’m an insomniac I know how lack of sleep feels, whenever I’m ill I sleep even less if that’s even possible

Cpap will do the job though it will take time and before you know it you’ll be on a normal mask or nasal specs. The rehab will follow will physio and occupational therapists etc. One step at a time.

Keep taking onboard the advice of podcasts, music etc. Keep talking, some lovely support on here and always people around on a night time when you are more scared/upset

Good morning OP! Glad the porridge was yum. Have you spoken to DH yet? I love some of the suggestions on here e.g. mentally redecorating the house room by room. I'll definitely try that if I wake up in the small hours. It will hurry me to sleep Happy you are feeling a bit brighter and hurray for brushing teeth- you're right, it makes such a huge difference.

Morning OP, I always found doing my ablutions meant I was on the upward swing (from chemo, no covid so appreciate your experience is different ) and that in day I couldn't sit up, the next I couldn't walk to the toilet but the next I could walk to the end of the passage and then I was fine again. So each step makes the next easier and sounds like you've got this!!

And porridge, yum! I know what I want for breakfast now! I always think I negate the healthiness of it though as I like it with honey- how do you like yours?

@LittleSpyintheSky have they given you dexamethasone ? That alone can make it incredibly difficult to sleep and can make you feel a bit 'wired'.
I used to be one of those people doing hourly obs on patients throughout the night, my heart goes out to you, it is awful being constantly woken when all you want is some rest and to be left in peace ? At least you didn't hit them ? I got quite adept at posistioning myself out of range in the early hours of the morning when doing obs after a nice lady grabbed me round the throat once at 4am. Remember sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture.

The throat grabbing lady was actually lovely, just had reached the end of her very long tether with lack of sleep, pain, worry etc

Stay strong OP. I'm glad you are being well looked after and I hope each day now gets you closer to recovery.

Good morning little

Another sunrise, blue skies here today and sunshine. Do you have a window you can see out of from your bed? I've always found when things are tough focusing on the sky, clouds, sun, moon etc very grounding, especially when you're going through something you can't control.

Try not to stress too much about your recovery, the body is an amazing thing and how you feel now is no reflection on how you will feel in the future or next week even, baby steps

Please can someone link to the train thread.

Hi @LittleSpyintheSky you might not realise it but you are doing really well. I used to be an ITU nurse and it's really normal to find night time harder. Are they leaving the blood pressure cuff on your arm, or are they taking it off each time? It might be worth asking them to leave the cuff on, so that you don't have them grabbing your arm each time.

Brushing your teeth is a great sign! Anything that makes you feel a little more human will help your recovery.

Well done OP you are doing great!

Keep letting us know how you are.
Can I also ask, what did your oxygen levels get to when they admitted you? X

You’re doing well op. Small goals; focus on those.
We’re all here, willing you on

Only just found your thread, OP (title caught my eye as my dad had COPD, and suffered a cardiac arrest, and I know he hated a lot of the treatment that saved his life back then. Sadly, he is no longer with us (but it bought him a couple more years with my mum) and your strength and determination to have more time with your own family shines through your obvious pain, frustration and horrific experiences with your health.

I know you said you aren't really able to concentrate on your kindle, but I've got both Wolf Hall and Bring up the Bodies on mine, and they're very well read. Maybe in a few days you can listen to them (they're a life-saver in the night - I don't sleep well, so books are my company when I wake in the dark hours). Then you'll be refreshed of their plots and hopefully you'll get the final book in your stocking and can tied it all up in a big, metaphorical Hilary Mantel bow!

Sending you warm wishes, OP. Keep fighting, keep finding the black humour in song titles, and hopefully now each day will find a little something that causes improvement for your health.

Good morning OP! Hope you are not feeling too bad and managed to get some sleep. I’m going to tell you something to maybe amuse you.

On Friday I was in lidl getting a few bits. I realised that there was so much in the basket that I couldn’t carry it home (I live uphill from the shop and was collecting my son from school who would no doubt add more to my pile: and I’ve done something to my shoulder). The basket had wheels and there was no one around, so I decided to borrow the basket and get DH to return it in the evening.

I got to my sons school (about 500m away) and the manager of lidl was running after me telling me that I couldn’t take the basket home. I did explain the situation (and told him that I didn’t think anyone would notice). And he took pity on me and let me take it home

@LittleSpyintheSky

You won’t believe what’s playing now. Meatloaf Heaven can wait. Making me properly cry

Meatloaf😊 that takes me back💭 sure I know the entire album off by heart Wishing you a speedy recovery Littlespy🙏💙 porridge is the best breakfast

How are you now LittleSpy?

have they given you dexamethasone ? That alone can make it incredibly difficult to sleep and can make you feel a bit 'wired'

Absolutely true. This time last year I was on chemo and the days when I had dexamethasone I was awake all night and buzzing. Lots of lovely people on MN kept me company in those days and nights.

I do hope today is better for you @LittleSpyintheSky

Aw sorry you had a rubbish night last night OP :-( I was working the night shift at my local hospice (I’m a nurse for my sins) so didn’t have the chance to check in - I hope you managed to have some rest today and tonight will be a better night for you - have you asked the doctors/nurses for some night sedation to try and help with sleep? Some people are a bit wary about trying it but sleep is an important part of recovery (as I’m sure you know)
I’ll second Brooklyn 99 for a fun watch - Captain Holt is the best character

I hope your silence all day is an indication that you've been sleeping x

Good evening lovely mumsnetters- checking in with some good news.

I have had a little sleep. Not much - around an hour. Yes, I am getting that drug mentioned above. I’m prettty wired. But gas a good afternoon without CPAP. Kept O2 levels up on lesser O2. But as I got tired, I needed to go back onto CPAP. It’s progress.

I’ve just asked for something to get me to sleep and they are chasing the doc now.

I’ve been reading some of the threads where people think this is overdone, want to go on holiday etc. There is no helping some people.

Please let them know there are s mix of people in this resuss ward. I’m 61. The young slim woman in the bed next to me is in her 40s. In the normal covid ward, there were two young slim women who looked in their early 30s, if that.

People need to behave themselves. It might be you in here next. Or someone you love.

Sorry - rant over. Xxx

Lovely to hear from you OP! I was just wondering how you are doing xx

I've just come across this thread and *Little Spy" you are an inspiration for telling it like it is.
I'm so pleased to read that you're making some improvements and that you've managed about of sleep.
I'm another one who would like to include you in my prayers if I may? ( Say if not)
Wishing you a peaceful night tonight, and preferably one with sleep in it.

Great to hear you’re having some improvement.