Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

Both kids isolating over christmas, this was the family's response. Im lost for words WWYS?

156 replies

LTAS · 18/12/2020 19:17

We got told today that both my 6 year old daughter and 4year old sons school classes ha e had 2 teachers test positive they now both have to isolate for 10 days. Fair enough I tottaly and full understand this and effectively I'm isolating now also being the parent whilst husband can still work.

So off I start ringing the 2 family members who we was going to see over the Christmas bubble dates. The 1st family fully accepted it no issue at all and dint kick up a fuss as they both have health risks. 2nd family who is my parents really wasn't happy and the response was well were see what happens so to me that sounds like there going to totally ignore my request of don't come round. I was shocked I didn't even know what to say .I never like to upset my parents but we really don't feel comfortable with them being at our home. (They was only coming for an hour or so and would have been sat by our back doors with masks on)however more so now we wouldn't want this to happen

OP posts:
Witchend · 18/12/2020 21:45

Those of you who are suggesting breaking isolation I want to share a phone call I had at a volunteer phone line. (with details changed)
This lady hasn't been out of her house since March. She is in her 80s and caring for her daughter who has severe health issues and special needs. She has done that without a break since the first lockdown. She has to get her daughter up, dress her, feed her, do all her medical needs for her. Her daughter can't speak, and can't move on her own. She knows that if her daughter gets covid then she has very little chance of pulling through.
She is absolutely at the end of her tether. She was crying that she loved her so much but she wasn't sure how much more she could take.
I was the first person she had had a conversation with since August.

When you're thinking "oh I can't take any more" with 10 days isolation; when you're saying "I really can't go without seeing my nan/my dad/my friend"; when you're saying "it can't really matter if I just nip out and get this as I probably don't have it... please think of her and people like her.
By just little me doing these things, it may not matter for you, but you are causing the spread. It may be that you don't have it, but then your neighbour may be thinking "you know I think I will just nip out, no one really will do it," having seen you.

There are thousands of people quietly making sacrifices for loved ones at the moment. They are not doing it for thanks or reward, but simply out of love.
Don't mock them by ignoring the guidance.

llm24 · 18/12/2020 21:45

I have been working in the NHS track and trace and the amount of people who have broken the rules / don’t know the rules astound me - no wonder we are still in the middle of a pandemic
Looks like half the people on this thread are the ones who I will be contacting soon 😩

Pissedoff1234 · 18/12/2020 21:49

@llm24

I have been working in the NHS track and trace and the amount of people who have broken the rules / don’t know the rules astound me - no wonder we are still in the middle of a pandemic Looks like half the people on this thread are the ones who I will be contacting soon 😩
My mum and dad both had Covid and named who they had seen during the time period. Not one of those people were contacted by track and trace. I thought that was the point of the call and all the questions.
Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 18/12/2020 21:50

Shall the dad stay at home and lose 10 days worth of work ? Can’t you see the difference between compulsory and optional?
Optional : no need to see the family because it’s Christmas.
Compulsory going to work if you want some food on your plate.

The dad is mixing with the children indoors, the grandparents won't be in close contact, will be outside AND will wear masks, so no, it makes no sense at all.

Blondeshavemorefun · 18/12/2020 21:50

@ceeveebee

How do people get to 9 months into a pandemic without having the most basic understanding of the rules?
This !!!

Op is right. Kids are self isolating. That means they don’t see anyone who they don’t live with

And even if tested and negative they still have to isolate for 10 days

Still don’t know why swapped 14 to 10 🙄🙄

When the 10 days are up you can meet at a park for a walk knowing your parents will be safe

llm24 · 18/12/2020 21:53

@Pissedoff1234

In Scotland ( not sure if NHS England works the same )
There are days when you are most infectious this is when you need to give the names of people you have been in contact with and there are dates when we only find out where you have been
This maybe why they haven’t been contacted

Scautish · 18/12/2020 21:54

@Witchend that is absolutely heartbreaking

I hope those failing to follow the rules feel thoroughly ashamed reading your post. (I know they won’t)

m0therofdragons · 18/12/2020 21:55

@Canyoncall my point was that despite it being the same virus another country (France) only requires 7 days isolating. Ours was 14 but now reduced to 10 so I guess one could consider risk after the 7 days have past. Most people have developed symptoms by 7 days. That said, I’m totally law abiding and follow the rules because I don’t want to put others at risk so I’d stick to the 10 days.

Witchend · 18/12/2020 21:57

[quote Scautish]@Witchend that is absolutely heartbreaking

I hope those failing to follow the rules feel thoroughly ashamed reading your post. (I know they won’t)[/quote]
I think it was one of the hardest phone calls I've ever taken. I wanted to rush round and help, but I'm not allowed to. Sad

m0therofdragons · 18/12/2020 21:59

@llm24 I’m surprised by the number of people who don’t watch the news, usually because it’s “too depressing”. If you don’t engage in the media how would you know?

EndoplasmicReticulum · 18/12/2020 22:05

"Because the virus takes time to incubate and so you can’t test your way out of the need to self isolate if you have been in close contact with a positive case"

Lots of posters saying this on this thread. They're right. Apart from next term if you are a pupil or a teacher in a secondary school.

llm24 · 18/12/2020 22:08

@m0therofdragons

Totally agree it is all
Doom and gloom in the media but we all have a responsibility to know the rules we should be following

ChickenyChick · 18/12/2020 22:17

you're sensible.

My nieces' teacher had Covid. Kids were all sent home, gave it my sister. The kids never showed symptoms though (most don't), kids and their mum all tested positive. My sister is really sick with it

It spreads very rapidly through kids

it being Christmas makes no difference

m0therofdragons · 18/12/2020 22:22

@llm24 I’m an ex journalist now working in communications (in a hospital) so news is part of my life but I meet more and more people who disengage from news. My best friend is going through a hideous divorce and she simply doesn’t have the energy for news. She checks rules with me but she’s accidentally broken them many times through thinking she’s being safe.

Piwlyfbicsly · 18/12/2020 22:23

You’re doing the right thing. I would not want anyone to pressure me in doing something currently illegal. Parents or not. Christmas will pass and you can see each other again. It’s not your fault that you’re isolating and it’s to protect your parents as well as other vulnerable people.

EasterIssland · 18/12/2020 22:34

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion

*Shall the dad stay at home and lose 10 days worth of work ? Can’t you see the difference between compulsory and optional? Optional : no need to see the family because it’s Christmas. Compulsory going to work if you want some food on your plate.*

The dad is mixing with the children indoors, the grandparents won't be in close contact, will be outside AND will wear masks, so no, it makes no sense at all.

Whether it makes sense or not ... one it’s allowed the other one isn’t. Again, shall the dad self isolate and lose 10 days worth of salary ?
starfish4 · 18/12/2020 22:42

OP, don't be pressurised into seeing your parents. I know if a case where it's believed a teacher caught it off their own child, passed it onto a child in their class, who then passed it onto the child's family. It might only be a small chance this would happen but you're doing the right thing breaking the potential chain of transmission.

Positivevibesonlyplease · 18/12/2020 22:47

OP you are doing the right thing. Your children must isolate for 10 days. Those who are saying, ‘What’s the harm?’ are, of course the reason the virus is spreading again. @Witchend thank you for sharing this and reminding people of the sacrifices so many people are making - that poor woman. Follow the rules FFS, people - they really are there to protect us.

TragedyHands · 18/12/2020 22:50

Cases will rise from kids coming out of school, they've all got it and so will their families.
It will be blamed on people breaking rules, it's so bloody obvious.

Positivevibesonlyplease · 18/12/2020 22:54

@EndoplasmicReticulum

"Because the virus takes time to incubate and so you can’t test your way out of the need to self isolate if you have been in close contact with a positive case"

Lots of posters saying this on this thread. They're right. Apart from next term if you are a pupil or a teacher in a secondary school.

Yep. Happy New Year! I know - let’s get lots of possibly positive smallish people in an enclosed space and test them, instead of making them isolate, so they don’t spread. I know again - let’s use a test that isn’t very reliable! What a fantastic idea! Happy New Year, Gavin Williamson and the brains who thought up this one...Let’s sacrifice the teachers, they have it far too easy - secure jobs, long holidays...let’s make them pay another way...
Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 18/12/2020 23:07

Whether it makes sense or not ... one it’s allowed the other one isn’t. Again, shall the dad self isolate and lose 10 days worth of salary ?

I didn't say he should. My point is the one thats allowed carries a higher risk of passing it to others.

TingTastic · 18/12/2020 23:20

@EndoplasmicReticulum

"Because the virus takes time to incubate and so you can’t test your way out of the need to self isolate if you have been in close contact with a positive case"

Lots of posters saying this on this thread. They're right. Apart from next term if you are a pupil or a teacher in a secondary school.

That’s because they will be testing the pupils each morning before they enter the classroom with a lateral flow test. The idea being that if they don’t have a high enough viral load to test positive in the morning, then they are highly unlikely to develop the virus and build up a high enough viral load to be infectious within the school day
EndoplasmicReticulum · 18/12/2020 23:34

Tingtastic do you know how accurate the lateral flow tests are at picking up positive cases?
Have a guess.

Heartofglass12345 · 18/12/2020 23:54

@llm24 i'm a contact advisor, I'm dreading the next week of telling people they have to isolate over Christmas  I've been off for two days so I had no one that had to isolate for that long yet.
Most people have been very friendly mind, I've even had a couple of people thanking me for what I did when they're doing jobs like teaching!

@Pissedoff1234we have such a backlog of calls where I'm working that's probably why. It's because so many people are testing positive!

Some people just don't fully understand and never will. I spoke to a poor woman the other day who suffers with depression, her husband had covid and hadn't eaten for 3 days and she sounded so worried like she was about to cry 

ItsIgginningtolookalotlikeXmas · 18/12/2020 23:57

If you trusted them to stay SD in the garden, you and them in masks, and the dc are nowhere around (as they are isolating, not their parents as proven by your dh going to work) then I think it would be acceptable, it doesn't sound like you can trust them though.