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Original poster

Has anyone else lost the will to care?

624 replies

whatToDoHerre · 17/12/2020 21:46

I have. I barely care about anything anymore. I don't know what we are fighting for - if this is life then is it worth living? We are not living, we are only existing at this point.

We could be in for months and months of restrictions and there's even talk of a third lockdown. Because the first two worked so well?

In a few short months a whole year of our lives will have been restricted.

If there is light at the end of this tunnel it's a very long tunnel, and I don't think we've travelled very far.

OP posts:
feellikeanalien · 18/12/2020 19:50

I realised it was all getting out of hand when DD and I went to an outdoor event last weekend at a National Trust Property. We had to use park and ride so needed to go on the bus. DD was really excited as she had never been on a double decker bus before. All I was thinking was "I really hope we don't get Covid and have to stay by ourselves for Christmas."

I'm not normally that bothered about it but since we have been in Tier 3 for what seems like ages I suppose I just wasn't used to being in close proximity with people in an enclosed space. It's quite scary that in the space of 9 months that has become a normal way of thinking.

Pootle40 · 18/12/2020 19:50

@Flaxmeadow

•13,295, the number of deaths in 2020 quarter three is...

What do you mean by "quarter three"? Do you mean the quarter Jul/Aug/Sept?

Yes exactly that.
derxa · 18/12/2020 19:57

@bumblenbean

Yep. Totally and utterly over the relentless drudgery, the constant stream of bad news, Death tolls, dire predictions, tiers, distancing, masks, lockdowns... I don’t know what the solution is but surely to god this isn’t sustainable much longer
Yes and I'm really fed up of 'experts' droning on. It's as if they're different from the rest of us. 'We must do X Y and Z...' Fuck off the lot of you.
Flaxmeadow · 18/12/2020 19:58

Yes exactly that

So you wouldn't expect the death toll at that time to be high? The numbers were considerably lower by then. Compared to how they had been in the quarters Jan/Feb/Mar and Apr/May/Jun

Lamentations · 18/12/2020 20:15

Excellent thread and so good to have found so many like minded posters. I've been totally sick of this shit since it began.

Lamentations · 18/12/2020 20:18

[quote christmaswoes]@UncomfortableSilence don't leave your dm alone at Christmas. Fuck the rules.[/quote]
Oh and this, absolutely. So sorry for your loss.

UncomfortableSilence · 18/12/2020 20:30

Thank you Lamentations

Pootle40 · 18/12/2020 20:31

@Flaxmeadow

Yes exactly that

So you wouldn't expect the death toll at that time to be high? The numbers were considerably lower by then. Compared to how they had been in the quarters Jan/Feb/Mar and Apr/May/Jun

Here's Q1

There were 15,932 deaths in 2020 quarter 1. This is 4.1% higher than quarter 1 of 2019 but is 1.4% lower than the quarter 1 average over the previous 5 years.

Here's q2

18,201 deaths were registered in April-June 2020. That's a 33% increase compared with the five year average.
COVID-19 was the underlying cause in 3,739 deaths accounting for 83% of the 4,515 excess deaths.

So 4515+157 or whatever it was for q3. That's 4700 excess deaths in a population of 6 million between jan and sept.

If I can be bothered to look through every archive they have online I know I will find stats showing that to be in line with some of the bad flu years that pop up every so often.

I know this because I've already seen multiple graphs from that data showing this.

AntiHop · 18/12/2020 20:33

It's fine to be happy in current circumstances. Even in times or war, famine and depression, there are those who prosper, not neccessarily because of exploiting others. But do the decent thing and keep it to yourself! Telling those who are struggling to 'go for a walk', 'think positively' or 'count your blessings' simply isn't helpful.

I presume this is aimed at me @IcedPurple as I'm the one who said I find it helpful to count my blessings.

Believe me, I'm not not enjoying the lockdown, and I'm not working from home (and I take public transport to work which worries me, as I'm pregnant).

My life has been turned upside down by covid. I'm also in a much worse financial position because of covid. But I still find it helpful to count my blessings.

Burnthurst187 · 18/12/2020 20:38

We've been to Warwick Castle tonight with my dad, brother and his daughter. It was a light trail and Christmas market all outside. I guess in theory we shouldn't have walked round together but we went in separate cars. We follow rules where possible but have reached the point where we've had enough

Defenbaker · 18/12/2020 20:46

CoronaIsWatching posted:

"I've accepted that this is just life now; the breakdown of society, of the economy, of the UK. And it's ALL white, straight mens fault."

Ah yes, all those white men are to blame... for a virus that originated in China. I'm fed up too, but reserve my anger about the virus for those who had a role in creating/spreading it, due to their vile treatment of animals in the live meat markets.

Flaxmeadow · 18/12/2020 20:53

A 33% increase in Q2 is a big rise.

Scotlands population is 5.4 million. It has a similar population to Yorkshire
Covid deaths
Yorkshire almost 4,900
Scotland 4,200

Not that much difference and Yorkshire had an earlier spread of infection, but they both work out at a similar toll to England by capita?
Are you saying the deaths in Scotland are low?

Flaxmeadow · 18/12/2020 20:57

...sorry that was a reply to pootle

XenoBitch · 18/12/2020 21:08

I get this (and come out of lurking to add to this).

Like a lot of people, I am not following the rules on purpose , but happen to follow them by coincidence. I will be spending xmas with my parents, which happens to be my support bubble anyway. Judging by some of the comments I have got on social media, you would think I was banging people's doors down and stabbing their grandparents to death in front of their face and laughing whilst doing it.

I am mad about the restrictions we are under, and more mad that we can't say we are mad or struggling with that without being told we are selfish or playing a mental heath card. We just get told to suck it up. It astounds me that it as back in January, people were spouting Be Kind and posting/sharing all sorts or mental awareness things... now it has gone out the window. I despair, I really do x

1dayatatime · 18/12/2020 21:27

The complete ridiculousness of this news headline made me smile:

news.sky.com/story/amp/covid-19-dont-hesitate-to-leave-your-home-if-there-is-a-flood-despite-coronavirus-fears-officials-warn-12162794

What's next Government guidance that it's OK to leave your house if it's on fire!!!

IrisAtwood · 18/12/2020 21:43

I am finding the whole thing incredibly depressing and sometimes I think that I am going to lose my mind. I’ve been more or less socially isolated since March. Spent a month in hospital after major surgery with no visitors. Had to take ill health retirement and even more isolated as a result. Every day is exactly the same and even Christmas seems a complete waste of time. I’ve seen my friends once this year and haven’t received a single Christmas card - but then I can’t be bothered to send any myself either.

I manage by taking one day at a time, but then there are times when I have some very dark thoughts and wonder how much longer I have to exist.

treening · 18/12/2020 22:15

As someone who works in mental health, can I just say that "count your blessings" is one of the worst, most patronising, most useless things you can say to someone suffering with their MH.

I do understand why we have to take covid seriously, despite its low fatality rate, because that low fatality rate is still pretty catastrophic if applied unchecked to the whole population.

However, the blame for that is entirely and completely with the government. Had they done what they were told to do in February, had they used the summer to get test and trace sorted, had they financially supported people to self isolate when required, had they closed borders and enforced quarantine after travel abroad, had they listened to advice about safely returning to schools, we would not now be in this position.

It is not my job to protect the NHS. My job is to help and support my own family, which doesn't fit into neat little bubble boxes as prescribed by Boris and co. I live with my DH and DS. My mum lives alone with my sister, who is over 18 so not eligible for a support bubble, but both have severe mental health problems which have been massively exacerbated by covid and Mum also has a long term illness (thankfully not one making her vulnerable to covid) which means she needs a lot of support. Mum's partner lives elsewhere in the country and visits every weekend, and no he can't move in with her because he is the sole carer during the week for his 90 year old DM who has dementia. My sister also has a long term partner, again who she can't live with because he is also a carer for a vulnerable family member in a different part of the country. I have two other siblings, both of whom live alone in different parts of the country, my brother with a history of suicide attempts. My mum's partner has two adult children of his own.

So no, a small support bubble is not possible for us.

BonnieDundee · 18/12/2020 22:23

YANBU OP. if I didnt read/watch the news I wouldn't know there was a pandemic. I was scared of the virus in the beginning, worked all the way through (NHS) and survived unscathed till now. I hardly know anyone who has had it. And absolutely hate how we are being told 'you're only being asked to stay at home and.watch Netflix. Its not hard." Well actually yes it bloody is hard. And I'm someone whose income hasn't.been affected. I cant imagine how much worse it is if you've lost your job. This.madness needs to stop.

The fearmongering is pissing me off as well. we're going to have a generation of traumatised young people

The cure is definitely worse than the disease now

bumbleymummy · 18/12/2020 22:32

“
The cure is definitely worse than the disease now”

Yep!

Cantstandsmugness · 18/12/2020 22:40

I did say I was out and only lurking however @ IrisAtwood 💐
Please take care we will get through this somehow together...please keep posting and PM me if you want a deeper chat. I despair every day too.

Clockstop · 18/12/2020 22:43

Totally in agreement. Months and months of restrictions yet my family and I never see anyone vulnerable in our close circle so it seems to utterly unfair and pointless. My DC are being messed around every few weeks with school and clubs being cancelled. I work full time and with fluctuating childcare needs I've watched my career go down the drain, while men have prospered with all their 'extra time'. If they started letting people who had had covid have a less restrictive life then I'd sign up the entire family for a covid party.

Wishfulthinking1977 · 18/12/2020 23:00

Completely agree! Was terrified in March but now soo angry! Have given up on as many rules/guidelines as is possible ages ago as could see they weren't doing anything! Luckily all my friends and family feel the same way! The destruction of lives I have seen in my small town is unforgivable! We have had 0 deaths from this even though we have one of the largest elderly population in our area! Yet we have seen 8 people die before their time due to being zoomed for consultations, being told our fortress of a GPS surgery is too busy or to scared to go to hospital! Our hospital has 1 covid patient in, our other one, we did have two until it was turned into a supermarket are pretty much empty! yet our elderly have been abandoned! Thank god for my mh I live with a scientist with a major in behavioural science! Or I would not still be here!! Xx

forwardsbackwardsrebound · 18/12/2020 23:00

@1dayatatime

The complete ridiculousness of this news headline made me smile:

news.sky.com/story/amp/covid-19-dont-hesitate-to-leave-your-home-if-there-is-a-flood-despite-coronavirus-fears-officials-warn-12162794

What's next Government guidance that it's OK to leave your house if it's on fire!!!

Bloody hell! It's scary though, isn't it?

The world has officially gone mad. Only covid matters folks, nothing else.

Iheartmysmart · 18/12/2020 23:08

But only COVID can kill you at the moment. If you don’t catch it then you are currently immortal.

AntiHop · 18/12/2020 23:36

As someone who works in mental health, can I just say that "count your blessings" is one of the worst, most patronising, most useless things you can say to someone suffering with their MH.

@treening I assume this is aimed at me, as I was talking about counting my blessings. If you read my post again, you'll see I wasn't telling other of what to do, but saying what I've found helpful for me. I've struggled with my mental health, and I've really found counting my blessings, and practising gratitude, has helped me with my mental health. The last 12 months have been really tough for me, for reasons that have nothing to do with covid. Then also covid on top of that. Counting my blessings has helped me.

As it happens, there are plenty of mental health professionals who believe that practising gratitude can help people with some mental health problems. This would not be helpful or appropriate for everyone, and I realise opinion is divided on this.