Has anyone else lost the will to care?

[whatToDoHerre]

I have. I barely care about anything anymore. I don't know what we are fighting for - if this is life then is it worth living? We are not living, we are only existing at this point.

We could be in for months and months of restrictions and there's even talk of a third lockdown. Because the first two worked so well?

In a few short months a whole year of our lives will have been restricted.

If there is light at the end of this tunnel it's a very long tunnel, and I don't think we've travelled very far.

@AntiHop

I find what helps is remembering how much worse off millions of people are in the world. People living without running water. Refugees living for years in tents. People living in fear of corrupt government. People with no access to healthcare.

I don't doubt that there are people in the uk with truly awful situations of course.

I hate this. I hate being told to be grateful for what I have because others have it worse. Of course I feel bad that their life it shit. But it doesn't make my shit any easier to deal with.

Imagine being told:

Oh you might be so poor you only get one meal a day but think about those people who don't get any food. Atleast you get one, they have it worse. Whilst sitting their terribly hungry.

oh he might've felt you up against your will but Atleast he didn't rape you. Whilst sitting their reeling from the trauma

Oh, your mental health might be in the gutters, but other people have their mental health in the gutter and live in poverty so just get on with it, you don't deserve help.

It's just a guilt trip to try and make people feel like they have no right to moan or expect better. Well I do expect better. I think those others should have better too, I think we should all have better. Just because my shit isn't as bad as their shit doesn't mean we all shouldn't be demanding better.

mostly follow the rules by coincidence rather than effort. However I travel outside by local authority if I want to (Scotland) and at the weekend am staying overnight at a friend's house (with another friend). As far as I'm concerned we've lost our senses with this now. When I hear about babies born in 2020 having not seen otherwise healthy grandparents because of a small risk of catching us virus you are most likely to recover from I am flabbergasted. But on MN I would be a murderer and someone quickly along to tell me they know 5 healthy peopled aged under 35 who all died. I keep saying I will quit MN but then I have this sort of morbid obsession to want to convince people to see sense by posting!

Same here, I live in tier 3 area, kids schools over 600 kids plus staff, we commute, know kids of people plus extended family isn’t small and circle of families and my good friend is a nurse and only on mumsnet I’ve read someone who knew 3 people on ventilators all in 30’s 🙄 sorry not buying it. Yes people have died , but here you hear some far out stories. I will wait for some more.

I get the importance of keeping safe as it’s still new virus well but so many lie and clearly it’s destroying the economy, people’s mental health, other serious diseases and suicide rates up that I’m just like whatever now and very concerned for the future and it’s not COVID

Personally it's the feeling of impotence that has done for me. Nothing is enough to either over-ride the virus to an apparently acceptable level, and nothing is enough when it comes to trying to keep calm and carry on unless you're swearing sack cloth and ashes and self-flagellating with spiked PPE.

We're all only human and not feckin robots......and don't get me started on the real reasons we're in the shit now, which is the slow start in dealing with it all. We have no proper leadership or governance right now and Chris Whitty always looks as though someone's dangling his hamster over a deep fat fryer at briefings in front of him to make sure he toes the party line.

So obviously I do care, as I'm prone to rant, but I'm not sure what about any more...... aaaargh.

*I hate this. I hate being told to be grateful for what I have because others have it worse. Of course I feel bad that their life it shit. But it doesn't make my shit any easier to deal with.

Imagine being told:

Oh you might be so poor you only get one meal a day but think about those people who don't get any food. Atleast you get one, they have it worse. Whilst sitting their terribly hungry.*

This. Imagine someone being happy with their new car that they've saved for years for but someone saying they shouldn't be happy because the millionaire down the road just bought a yacht.
Reversed, it's ludicrous.

@Iheartmysmart

A bit like Neil Ferguson who probably hasn’t got a sum right since primary school being caught out visiting his mistress despite telling the rest of us to stay home or we’d kill hundreds of thousands of people.

Spend a few minutes in that blokes company and the overwhelming thought is "god you really are a bit of a tit!"

On another thread people begging still for full lockdown. Utterly insane. Wish they’d just do it themselves.

This is my thoughts on following restrictions and rules.

[quote arevioletsreallyblue]@Cornettoninja

What exactly are you asking me? You've posed very vague fluffy questions. Ask me something proper and I'll give you an answer[/quote]
I’m asking if you really believe that everyone calling for restrictions or with an opposing view to yours is sitting in an ‘ivory tower’.

@arevioletsreallyblue and @SufferingFromLongLockdown
I never said people are not allowed to moan, or feel sorry for yourself, or feel bad because you're having a shit time. Of course it is.

I'm saying that it makes me feel better to remind myself that there are millions of people worse off. Imagine having to cope with covid when you live in a refugee camp in a tent and a shared toilet with loads of others.

I find it helps to count my blessings. I hope it will make others feel better to remind them of that too.

This thread is brilliant as most posts are exactly how I'm feeling! And to be honest how most of my friends/family IRL are feeling. Everyone tried their hardest and done what was asked of them in March but now are just beyond caring. To expect people to give up socialising indefinitley is ridiculous, cruel and unrealistic and I can't do it anymore... call me selfish but I honesty couldn't give a fuck.
People are breaking down mentally and I honestly can't believe that this is just accepted as collateral.

The people who pop up to berate and lecture us are, ironically, utterly without compassion.
Who comes onto a thread of people literally so beaten down by circumstances that they are numb? How self righteous and unkind must you actually be?

[quote AntiHop]**@arevioletsreallyblue* and @SufferingFromLongLockdown*
I never said people are not allowed to moan, or feel sorry for yourself, or feel bad because you're having a shit time. Of course it is.

I'm saying that it makes me feel better to remind myself that there are millions of people worse off. Imagine having to cope with covid when you live in a refugee camp in a tent and a shared toilet with loads of others.

I find it helps to count my blessings. I hope it will make others feel better to remind them of that too.[/quote]
I'm glad that helps you feel better. Normal human interaction makes me feel better. No amount of counting my blessings can emulate it.

@SufferingFromLongLockdown

*I hate this. I hate being told to be grateful for what I have because others have it worse. Of course I feel bad that their life it shit. But it doesn't make my shit any easier to deal with.

Imagine being told:

Oh you might be so poor you only get one meal a day but think about those people who don't get any food. Atleast you get one, they have it worse. Whilst sitting their terribly hungry.*

This. Imagine someone being happy with their new car that they've saved for years for but someone saying they shouldn't be happy because the millionaire down the road just bought a yacht.
Reversed, it's ludicrous.

It's like your mum telling you to eat up your nasty boiled carrots when you were a kid, because the starving children in Africa would love to have them.

It never worked.

It's possible to be perfectly well aware that objectively, there are many people much worse off than you. That doesn't mean that your situation isn't utter shit. If anything, being forced to think of all the misery in the world just makes things seen even worse.

And I highly doubt that the 'count your blessing's preachers apply the same logic to themselves when it comes to their own - probably relatively trivial in the scheme of things - problems.

I asked this on another thread and it never got an answer - if a poster on MN said they were devastated because they'd just found out that their husband was having an affair, and someone replied "oh stop whining and show some resilience, don't you know other people are starving/my granny lived through WW2?" everyone would quite rightly think they were a twat and tell them to do one. So why do several people see it as an acceptable response to posters being upset that their whole lives have been turned upside down for nearly a year, in many cases with permanent consequences? I don't understand the thinking behind it or what people see as the difference between those two scenarios, and I'm genuinely interested in an explanation.

(Not aimed at AntiHop btw, who is clearly not telling anyone to stop whining.)

@IcedPurple we have a lady in our team who does this. If we have a team call and a couple of people express frustration or sadness about something lockdown or working from home related she quickly tells everyone about how good we've got it and to just get out and enjoy the fresh air. Everyone's facial expressions at that point say 'fuck off'. Talk about not reading the room. Your colleagues are just using the safe space to express with their team how they're feeling looking for empathy and camaraderie not a fucking lecture. Same applies here.

@MistressoftheDarkSide

Personally it's the feeling of impotence that has done for me. Nothing is enough to either over-ride the virus to an apparently acceptable level, and nothing is enough when it comes to trying to keep calm and carry on unless you're swearing sack cloth and ashes and self-flagellating with spiked PPE.

We're all only human and not feckin robots......and don't get me started on the real reasons we're in the shit now, which is the slow start in dealing with it all. We have no proper leadership or governance right now and Chris Whitty always looks as though someone's dangling his hamster over a deep fat fryer at briefings in front of him to make sure he toes the party line.

So obviously I do care, as I'm prone to rant, but I'm not sure what about any more...... aaaargh.

Yep. No matter what is done, SAGE and Whitty will always complain it isn’t enough. It’s like when my mum used to nag me for not doing chores. Whatever I did was never good enough. Just gave up in the end. Obviously more at stake here (although my mum is pretty scary) but it’s an entirely normal reaction to want to stick 2 fingers up and say “fuck it” when despite nothing but endless sacrifice and misery it STILL isn’t good enough to protect an NHS that isn’t my responsibility.

I still do what I’m meant to - I can’t even think about it anymore

But the thought of more severe lockdown is so bloody depressing. I’m so fed up of it. So far removed from when all this started

I still follow the rules too. But I’m now thinking what the point is when it doesn’t make any difference anyway.

Yeah, totally lost the will to care. Lost 2 very close family members early in the year and have had a very stressful year trying to keep up the spirits of my remaining family and people at work who rely on my guidance.
After 10 months of it, and looking like it's going be at least a year, I've given up trying to see the positive side of things and resigned myself to the fact that things are going to be rubbish for the foreseeable.
My family express how sh* things are and I agree, but with people at work I'm expected to be positive so generally just let them vent and let them get it out without trying to placate them or comment. Really I just want to say 'Life is sh*, sorry but can't help!'

Yep. I just don't care anymore.
I'm fed up with sticking to the rules and having everyone around me bend and stretch them to fit their situation and then moan at me that Aunt Sally is breaking the rules. Aunt Sally then moans that the other person is bending the rules but of course she isn't. I'm so sick of it all.
I wish I hadn't agreed to form a Christmas bubble and had just chosen to stay at home instead.

enjoying the drama of division and pretending you’re in some sort of resistance movement?

Partly yes but also ironically some are pp who were "absolutely terrified" back in March and wanting advice about their own "terrifying" and "scary" situations. Also still posting are the "it's only flu" deniers, but together they all have one thing in common, that underneath all the, increasingly flimsy bravado, they're all having an extremely difficulty time facing up to how serious the situation is.

Covid denial is why we get the repeated silly "I'm going to kill a granny" comments or asking other poster to "leave" the thread. The labelling of other posters as 'dementors" followed by pages of of "yah yah" and laughing emojis. It's tiresome yes, it's transparent too to others , but it's just a coping mechanism. A group coping mechanism. Making childish jokes or burying heads in the sand with each other is how some people get through it. It's just how it is when people are scared.

[quote Pootle40]@IcedPurple we have a lady in our team who does this. If we have a team call and a couple of people express frustration or sadness about something lockdown or working from home related she quickly tells everyone about how good we've got it and to just get out and enjoy the fresh air. Everyone's facial expressions at that point say 'fuck off'. Talk about not reading the room. Your colleagues are just using the safe space to express with their team how they're feeling looking for empathy and camaraderie not a fucking lecture. Same applies here.[/quote]
The fact is that many people are really quite happy with the current situation and wouldn't mind it continuing indefinitely. Some have said as much here. These are people who WFH (so 'productively!') in (supposedly) secure jobs, who are thrilled with all the time and money they save on commuting and take away coffee. These are people who have - or think they have - their lives figured out, who don't socialise much outside their established social circle and are slightly contemptuous of anyone who misses the social aspect of work.

It's fine to be happy in current circumstances. Even in times or war, famine and depression, there are those who prosper, not neccessarily because of exploiting others. But do the decent thing and keep it to yourself! Telling those who are struggling to 'go for a walk', 'think positively' or 'count your blessings' simply isn't helpful.

they're all having an extremely difficulty time facing up to how serious the situation is.

I have had many, many months to come to terms with how serious the situation is for us. We lost nearly all our income. Now we're facing the double-whammy of the Brexit extension period ending, possibly with no deal. I'm sure I recognise your user name as being a Brexit fan Flaxmeadow.

Scared? Yes. Of losing everything we've worked for, of our future plans vanishing, of the world as we know it changing for a long time.

Scared of actual covid? Not in the least. Had it, non-event.

The destruction of lives for a virus that kills so few is just barmy.
I just don’t understand why people are so compliant.

And in terms of why we are doing this....let me copy this from The National Records for Scotland Q3 publications.

•	13,295, the number of deaths in 2020 quarter three is 1.2 per cent higher than the quarter three average over the previous five years – an excess of 158 deaths

In a country of 6 million. These are deaths recorded.