Making isolating 13 yr old not leave her room for 10 days!!

[novaparty12]

My niece is 13 and on Friday she was told to isolate by her school as the girl she sits next to tested positive. She lives in London where transmission is really high. I spoke to MIL today who said that my SIL has told her she is not allowed out of her room apart from going to the toilet or having a shower. All meals are left outside her door for her to collect and my SIL went shopping and spend £50 on snacks and drinks so she doesn't have to leave her room. MIL is really worried about her she keeps phoning her in tears. My SIL is autistic and takes everything very very seriously but surely confining a 13 yr old to her room for 10 days is going a bit far isn't it??

I’m not ‘self-centred’ or ‘science denying’. I’ve had covid; I know it’s real. I don’t break any rules. But I stand by my assertion that making a young child stay alone in their room for days while only speaking to them in a ‘wind tunnel’ is batshit. Sorry.

@formerbabe like you I'm amazed anyone would do this - and that some people on here are suggesting it's the right course of action. I'd ensure that the child in question stayed at home, monitor the rest of us for symptoms, limit our outings to supermarket and taking other child to school, no visitors etc but that would be it. What you said about the number that's been done on us is bang on the money. Practically speaking in our house it wouldn't work as none of the bedrooms are en suite anyway. I imagine that's not unusual.

[quote XmasLlama]@DameFanny

Isn't that if you have symptoms? [/quote]
Exactly.

Not an asymptomatic preteen.

I feel as of all the scorn heaped on people willing to sacrifice for the greater good will stand as a monument to how self-centered and science-denying many among us have become

I think this thread is a monument to how the pandemic turned people into lunatics

A group of 16 year olds in my dd's year had to SI and some of them had to stay in their rooms. The others only felt sorry for the one who didn't get enough snacks as his parents didn't like him having snack food in his room and only brought him meals. I know a few years makes a big difference at this age but that's how these kids saw it.

I dont take my kids into pubs, given ours are shut to ask the patrons approval.

But if this is how you score comments on an internet forum, please do carry on

@LittleTiger007 no, it's not. RTFG.

@TheKeatingFive @bookworm14 you're both exaggerating and mischaracterising that poster's daughter's experience. She was still part of family life, just through a door. The 'wind tunnel' was an excellent way to clear the air, and fits right in with guidance on covid precautions.

But if you're going to keep misreading what people have posted, and refuse to read or engage with the NHS guidance, then you just go ahead and stay 'shocked' at the 'cruelty'

FFS.

Those saying oh if it happened to you, the whole house would just stay indoors.
Must be nice to have a job that allows to wfh, or to have enough savings to cover the lack of income. Very, very, very few businesses pay for parental leave because their child is ill.

A child that was ill on their birthday and spent the day in their room isn't abuse or neglect either. No-one ever had a relative that was ill on their birthday? Did you demand they leave their room and celebrate their birthday?

What if the only parent in the home is high risk when contagious things are around? Evil? Monsters? Neglectful?
Not all children live in a 2 parent home.
Never mind the stupid zero hour contracts.

Whether confined to their rooms or the house. There will be a large amount of children left alone for hours on end whilst their parents are working. Where do you think all the latch key kids go when their bubble closes?

@canigooutyet

Those saying oh if it happened to you, the whole house would just stay indoors. Must be nice to have a job that allows to wfh, or to have enough savings to cover the lack of income. Very, very, very few businesses pay for parental leave because their child is ill.

A child that was ill on their birthday and spent the day in their room isn't abuse or neglect either. No-one ever had a relative that was ill on their birthday? Did you demand they leave their room and celebrate their birthday?

What if the only parent in the home is high risk when contagious things are around? Evil? Monsters? Neglectful?
Not all children live in a 2 parent home.
Never mind the stupid zero hour contracts.

Whether confined to their rooms or the house. There will be a large amount of children left alone for hours on end whilst their parents are working. Where do you think all the latch key kids go when their bubble closes?

In ops situation - the whole house doesn't need to isolate. In the other posters situation, they all have to isolate anyway. I don't think you can say oh well i have locked the infected one away so dad can still go to work, because you're still sharing the same facilities etc.

I am lucky in that yes i can work from home, but DP cannnot, and his wage is more than mine, and would be a significant loss if we were to lose it for two weeks. HOWEVER ds's wellbeing is far more important than money - and although the loss of dps wage would affect him, i dont reasonable believe it would affect him more than being locked away - if that were the alternative.

If he was ill (Actually ill - not asymptomatic and feeling fine) and he wanted to stay in bed on his birthday, that would be fine, but i wouldnt contain him in his bedroom on his birthday if he were perfectly well albeit infectious.

I am not sure "latch key kids" are really a thing anymore hence many stressed parents including myself wondering WTF they are going to do when schools close. It was one MASSIVE reason why i left my previous job where i couldnt wfh.

@canigooutyet

Those saying oh if it happened to you, the whole house would just stay indoors. Must be nice to have a job that allows to wfh, or to have enough savings to cover the lack of income. Very, very, very few businesses pay for parental leave because their child is ill.

A child that was ill on their birthday and spent the day in their room isn't abuse or neglect either. No-one ever had a relative that was ill on their birthday? Did you demand they leave their room and celebrate their birthday?

What if the only parent in the home is high risk when contagious things are around? Evil? Monsters? Neglectful?
Not all children live in a 2 parent home.
Never mind the stupid zero hour contracts.

Whether confined to their rooms or the house. There will be a large amount of children left alone for hours on end whilst their parents are working. Where do you think all the latch key kids go when their bubble closes?

But the child wasn't ill! And she didn't spend 'a day in her room', she spent TEN days alone in her room with NO symptoms. You can't even get a test where I live without symptoms.

The world has gone insane.

[quote DameFanny]**@TheKeatingFive* @bookworm14* you're both exaggerating and mischaracterising that poster's daughter's experience. She was still part of family life, just through a door. The 'wind tunnel' was an excellent way to clear the air, and fits right in with guidance on covid precautions.

But if you're going to keep misreading what people have posted, and refuse to read or engage with the NHS guidance, then you just go ahead and stay 'shocked' at the 'cruelty'

FFS.[/quote]
She was part of family life.... just through a door...

LOL cant you see what a massive contradiction that is?

No, I can't. Unless you have a very narrow definition of family life that I'm not party to?

@DreadingSeason2020sFinale

Oops, forgot I just quickly name changed for another thread. But yes, we isolated our daughter on her birthday. We all stood away from her bedroom door and watched her open her gifts.

That actually made me tear up.

I had my birthday on Saturday. My daughter and her partner are both teachers, and their schools are rife with it. So my birthday took place outside with them, in a damp garden. But they decorated my garden with banners, and we masked up, and had a nice takeaway meal at the garden table. And we laughed about how mad and memorable it all would seem in the future.

There was absoutely nothing stopping you doing something like that. Your daughter has not been diagnosed with covid. Even if the garden wasn't possible, you could have put the table next to an open window/patio door and sat her next to it.

Unbelievable. I'm not sure that the country is ever going to recover it's societal mental health, when I read things like this.

@DameFanny

For anyone who still wants to do the right thing, this is the information given by the NHS on avoiding transmission to your family if you've been told to isolate by test and trace - www.nhs.uk/conditions/coronavirus-covid-19/self-isolation-and-treatment/how-to-avoid-spreading-coronavirus-to-people-you-live-with/

Including - "Try to stay away from people you live with
If you have symptoms, you should stay away from other people you live with as much as possible.

If you can:

stay on your own in one room as much as possible and keep the door closed
avoid using shared spaces (such as the kitchen) at the same time as other people – eat your meals in your room
use a separate bathroom - otherwise, use the bathroom after everyone else and clean it each time you use it, for example, by wiping the surfaces you've touched"

So maybe you can stop accusing the poster who's DD was happy to isolate during her birthday of child abuse, and other such sentimental cock?

Fine, you don't want to follow government advice, you think your (bad, limited) views on other children's mental health is more important than controlling disease transmission just say so. Own it. Just don't pretend you're doing it for anyone's sake but you're own lazy, sentimental self.

That is guidance for people who HAVE covid. The birthday daughter didn't have it. She'd simply been a contact.

Some school kids have had to do three separate lots of isolation as contacts. Do you seriously think that they should all have spent six weeks in their room?

HOWEVER ds's wellbeing is far more important than money

A part of their welfare involves money to pay for the basics like a roof and food. It's not as simple as one or the other.

If he was ill (Actually ill - not asymptomatic and feeling fine) and he wanted to stay in bed on his birthday, that would be fine, but i wouldnt contain him in his bedroom on his birthday if he were perfectly well albeit infectious.
By definition of asymptomatic he would be feeling fine.

Again, you deciding that those in your home would be fine with someone infectious is down to the individual needs of the household. Not everyone is in this situation,

Latch key, home alone or whatever word is used is still a big thing in the UK due to the lack of childcare services prior to CV, either due to low income making it unaffordable (even with whatever scheme), or due to the lack of provisions. Many will now be facing similar situations due to restrictions who coped beforehand with private arrangements in their community.

@TrustTheGeneGenie I would make alternative arrangements. If there was a family member or a friend who would agree to have my child for the period of their isolation. that’s great if you have close family or friends who are not employed and willing to potentially self isolate themselves. What if you don’t

[quote AldiAisleofCrap]**@TrustTheGeneGenie* I would make alternative arrangements. If there was a family member or a friend who would agree to have my child for the period of their isolation.* that’s great if you have close family or friends who are not employed and willing to potentially self isolate themselves. What if you don’t[/quote]
Then id have to take my chances wouldn't I? I still wouldn't isolate my child like that.

@canigooutyet

HOWEVER ds's wellbeing is far more important than money

A part of their welfare involves money to pay for the basics like a roof and food. It's not as simple as one or the other.

If he was ill (Actually ill - not asymptomatic and feeling fine) and he wanted to stay in bed on his birthday, that would be fine, but i wouldnt contain him in his bedroom on his birthday if he were perfectly well albeit infectious.
By definition of asymptomatic he would be feeling fine.

Again, you deciding that those in your home would be fine with someone infectious is down to the individual needs of the household. Not everyone is in this situation,

Latch key, home alone or whatever word is used is still a big thing in the UK due to the lack of childcare services prior to CV, either due to low income making it unaffordable (even with whatever scheme), or due to the lack of provisions. Many will now be facing similar situations due to restrictions who coped beforehand with private arrangements in their community.

Yes, I said money affects his welfare but not more than being locked in a room. Did you miss that?

You've misunderstood I meant if he wasn't asymptomatic and feeling fine - as in if he wasn't fine and actually was poorly.

I've only ever said I personally wouldn't do it and I don't support anyone who does. I obviously can't stop anyone else doing it.

@DameFanny

No, I can't. Unless you have a very narrow definition of family life that I'm not party to?

Hah, ok. Your family is clearly nothing like mine or in fact any family I have ever met. Where we actually sit In the same room as one other and dont speak through masks behind walls. That's not being involved. That's being treated like some kind of lesser being.

I have covid and I am following the above guidance of keeping to separate rooms and wiping down the bathroom after use to hopefully keep my DH and DD safe.

If I was just self isolating as a precaution I wouldn't be.

No, I didn't miss it. Did you miss the part when I said it's not as simple as one of the other. That some families are forced to make this choice due to their circumstances?

Family comes in all shapes and forms. And of course when they are in the same room they do the typical family stuff. However, due to the families circumstances, not all family members can sit in the living room regardless of CV.

Many households are multi generational. The person with limited mobility sat in their room because equipment broken. Their bedroom the only safe space for that person aside from their wheelchair. Just a few of the millions of examples.

You think their families really think of them as a lesser being?

@canigooutyet

No, I didn't miss it. Did you miss the part when I said it's not as simple as one of the other. That some families are forced to make this choice due to their circumstances?

Family comes in all shapes and forms. And of course when they are in the same room they do the typical family stuff. However, due to the families circumstances, not all family members can sit in the living room regardless of CV.

Many households are multi generational. The person with limited mobility sat in their room because equipment broken. Their bedroom the only safe space for that person aside from their wheelchair. Just a few of the millions of examples.

You think their families really think of them as a lesser being?

That's entirely different than choosing to isolate your child in this way let's not pretend otherwise.

And in those situations it's still incredibly sad, but as you say, not a choice. This is a choice.

@saraclara the guidance is for people who've been told to isolate, not just people who have symptoms or a positive test.

It's on the NHS website, you don't have to take my word for it, just stop telling me different when it's right there.

[quote DameFanny]@saraclara the guidance is for people who've been told to isolate, not just people who have symptoms or a positive test.

It's on the NHS website, you don't have to take my word for it, just stop telling me different when it's right there.[/quote]
I've read the website. The guidance following the sentence about people who have symptoms, is for those people (or those with a positive test) not for those who have been contacts.

I wish they'd stuck to the original language, where they called it quarantine for those with Covid, and isolation for those who were contacts. It made things a lot clearer.