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Original poster

Sons girlfriend going to Dubai

184 replies

Baileysforchristmas · 29/11/2020 21:19

My sons girlfriend is living with us at the moment. She announced she’s going to Dubai with friends (not with my son) she has to have 2 tests going to Dubai, none to come back to Uk and you don’t have to isolate. I want her to have a test before she comes back to our house and another test 5 days later, as I want my parents to be able to come round for Christmas. She thinks I am being unreasonable as she will have to pay £170 for each test. Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
MitziK · 30/11/2020 18:26

Surely if she can afford a trip to Dubai, she can afford to a) pay for however many tests you see fit and b) her own place?

JacobReesMogadishu · 30/11/2020 18:30

Your house, your rules. She has choices.

Doesnt go
Goes and takes the tests you require (i would want her to do this as well)
Goes and isolates in a travelodge for two weeks on return.
Move out permanently

User158340 · 30/11/2020 19:38

@Frazzled2207

Not at all. She is taking the piss living in your house for free- you need to tackle that. If she was going to dubai with your ds and they were going to be careful and only socialise with each other that would be one thing but sounds like she will be partying without a care in the world? Totally irresponsible to potentially put the family hosting her at risk.
You and your son are being taken for mugs.

Who knows what she'll be getting up to over there?

User158340 · 30/11/2020 19:48

[quote Baileysforchristmas]@nemeton no my son doesn’t know who she’s going with and said he trusts her 🤷‍♀️ Yes she is in a vulnerable situation all round. I said to my son it’s time both of them moved out. It’s not a half way house. I can’t take care of her i’m afraid, I have enough with my own family to worry about. My sons nearly 30, it’s time moved out anyway.[/quote]
He'll learn the hard way. He's being played for a fool.

Why doesn't she work? Fair enough if she lost her job during pandemic, but she sounds like an entitled freeloader and she could be doing anything in Dubai.

JingsMahBucket · 30/11/2020 21:41

@Baileysforchristmas this sounds so sketchy. You need to be real with your son and his girlfriend and tell them she’s likely going to be sexually exploited or trafficked if she goes. Nonetheless, I’d still kick her or both them out for not paying their own way. She needs to get a job or go back into training/education. Was she laid off earlier this year?

canigooutyet · 30/11/2020 21:45

Oh shes good, can see why she isn't working.

She has at least 3 mugs funding her - op, the bf and the lover(s)

Wonder how she would react if he wanted to meet this amazing mate.

justasmalltownmum · 30/11/2020 21:51

You are not being unreasonable at all. Your house, your rules.

As I read more and more of your updates, I was feeling annoyed for you.

I wouldn't let her back at all when she gets back. The son should be paying his way if he is almost 30 and living at home.

User158340 · 30/11/2020 21:59

@canigooutyet

Oh shes good, can see why she isn't working.

She has at least 3 mugs funding her - op, the bf and the lover(s)

Wonder how she would react if he wanted to meet this amazing mate.

No matter how much she makes in Dubai (probably thousands) the OP won't see any of it. The boyfriend is a useful idiot.
Dalooah · 30/11/2020 22:59

I haven't had a chance to read all the previous responses but maybe you need to take a different approach altogether.

Was reading this earlier- a story of someone's experience in Madeira in quarantine when they went on holiday and tested positive on arrival.

thepointsguy.co.uk/news/madeiran-quarantine-nightmare-rms/

Not a stretch to say that a place like Dubai with its piss poor record on human rights would be any better! Could scare her into doing the right thing? 🤷‍♀️

Original poster
Baileysforchristmas · 02/12/2020 12:57

So she’s gone to Dubai I said I didn’t want her coming back, my husband said I can’t just chuck her out, my son was very upset, i’m the wicked one that has caused all the upset. My husband said she needs to pay £200, she said she can’t and why are we treating her so badly 🤷‍♀️ I hope she doesn’t come back.

OP posts:
TheQueef · 02/12/2020 13:02

Have you found out WHO has paid her ticket? Is she on Insta?

Upstartcrones · 02/12/2020 13:08

Your son is being played and deep down probably knows it. By you bringing things to a head means he's no longer got anything to offer her so she'll probably walk. Suspect your DH knows it too.

You are not the bad guy here. Stand firm.

3littlewords · 02/12/2020 13:13

@Baileysforchristmas

So she’s gone to Dubai I said I didn’t want her coming back, my husband said I can’t just chuck her out, my son was very upset, i’m the wicked one that has caused all the upset. My husband said she needs to pay £200, she said she can’t and why are we treating her so badly 🤷‍♀️ I hope she doesn’t come back.
Does he want her to pay £200 for rent and utility bills or £200 for tests on return?

Wish I had a mate who would take me to Dubai all expenses paid!

Original poster
Baileysforchristmas · 02/12/2020 13:19

No she just said a name, I asked for contact details which obviously she didn’t want to give me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Baileysforchristmas · 02/12/2020 13:20

£200 a month for rent plus she has to have a test when/if she comes back to the house.

OP posts:
Upstartcrones · 02/12/2020 13:33

Can't believe she asked why you were treating her so badly when you asked her for £200 per month! what did your DH/son say to her response?

Mindymomo · 02/12/2020 13:34

It all sounds a little suspect, but I’m glad you’ve put your point across about testing when/if she gets back.

GlowingOrb · 02/12/2020 13:38

You “hope” she doesn’t come back? Hope? I realize you can’t change the locks effectively because you don’t have cooperation from your son and husband, but you need to be much more forceful about this.

Audreyseyebrows · 02/12/2020 13:40

She’s a CF

Original poster
Baileysforchristmas · 02/12/2020 13:46

She started crying so they didn’t push it, I didn’t dare say anything or I would’ve looked like right evil monster. My husband also asked how the finances worked between the 2 of them re buying food, she said she doesn’t see why she has to share that information, cheeky madam 😡 at this point I had to say, you do know we Are subsidising your stay and paying all the bills, she glared at me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Baileysforchristmas · 02/12/2020 13:54

Also she has taken out a student loan under our address, i’m we will be chased for payments?

OP posts:
coronaway · 02/12/2020 13:55

@3littlewords well you can as long as you're willing to have sex with 'the friend' or worse.

Upstartcrones · 02/12/2020 14:02

If she defaults then you may get letters and phone calls but you just make it clear she is no relation to you and no longer lives there.

Honestly I think your asking for trouble if you let her back into your home. She's sponging off you and manipulating your son. There might be some bad feeling but it will soon pass. Better to tell your son today she is not welcome back and state the reasons why. If he can't accept it then he has a choice to move out.

Dillydallyingthrough · 02/12/2020 14:05

I would have let her cry, she's an adult and she is taking the piss. Tell her she is not coming back into your household.

lunar1 · 02/12/2020 14:08

No way would she be coming back. She sounds a bloody nightmare, why on earth does she think you should subside her!