Sons girlfriend going to Dubai

[Baileysforchristmas]

My sons girlfriend is living with us at the moment. She announced she’s going to Dubai with friends (not with my son) she has to have 2 tests going to Dubai, none to come back to Uk and you don’t have to isolate. I want her to have a test before she comes back to our house and another test 5 days later, as I want my parents to be able to come round for Christmas. She thinks I am being unreasonable as she will have to pay £170 for each test. Am I being unreasonable?

[quote Baileysforchristmas]@PandaBearCub i’m seriously thinking about not letting her come back to our house. My son works she doesn’t. Rent here for a 1 bed flat is £700 a month, they would struggle on one wage but if she goes that’s the consequences.[/quote]
What does she do with herself all day? apart from using your utilities and food.......

[quote Baileysforchristmas]@PandaBearCub i’m seriously thinking about not letting her come back to our house. My son works she doesn’t. Rent here for a 1 bed flat is £700 a month, they would struggle on one wage but if she goes that’s the consequences.[/quote]
So they can move into a flat share like many 21 year olds.

Wish I’d thought about booking a holiday to Dubai to get away from all this crap for a few days. Sounds ideal tbh especially with no quarantine

It’s up to you OP. Unless you are all SI for 2 weeks before your parents come for Christmas as well I’m not sure I see the point though, you’re more likely to get it here than she is there the way numbers are.

@MyPersona

Travelling for non essential reasons during the pandemic is ludicrous and I wouldn’t let her back into my home without quarantining/testing. Non negotiable.

This. Is she paying market rent and with a formal lodger/ tenancy agreement? Then she maybe has stronger grounds for telling rather than asking you. Otherwise I’d seriously consider the whole arrangement.

Oh wow! I hadn’t read all your posts.
Tell the freeloading hussy that no, she’s not welcome back.

Aren't you more concerned about the very obvious reason your son's girlfriend is being taken on a free 'holiday' to dubai?

@katfold yes this is one of the main reasons. She must think we are all daft. My sons just said to me I shouldn’t have been so harsh with her yesterday and asked what the problem is 🤷‍♀️I am going to be made the evil over baring mother 🙁

I think the fact that you're having to hide that she's going on holiday form your Christmas guests should be enough for you to to have her back in.

Not to have her**

Surely there is some exploitation going in here? (And I don't just mean of your hospitality, OP)
Does your son know the people who are taking her there? Does he think it's above board? She could be in a very difficult situation. If she has nowhere else to go other than your home, she seems pretty vulnerable full stop.

@nemeton no my son doesn’t know who she’s going with and said he trusts her 🤷‍♀️ Yes she is in a vulnerable situation all round. I said to my son it’s time both of them moved out. It’s not a half way house. I can’t take care of her i’m afraid, I have enough with my own family to worry about. My sons nearly 30, it’s time moved out anyway.

I agree don’t make this about dubai (I wouldn’t be overly bothered about the risks to be fair, most airlines/countries are demanding tests, so on both legs she is likely not to be around the virus, ILs live there and it’s all back to normal virus pretty much out of circulation thanks to a quick early strict lockdown)

I would be very clear that she needs to pay rent / board, at the same rate as your son.

Give her a deadline, as I said it'd be easier if she didn't come back after holiday.

You should say to her - “There’s a GLOBAL pandemic dontcha know”

Emphasise the word Global.

@Bushola

You should say to her - “There’s a GLOBAL pandemic dontcha know”

Emphasise the word Global.

Well yes, but countries aren’t all affected to the same degree. Dubai will be safer than here.
That’s why I think it’s best not make this about the covid test. This is about her generally taking advantage of the op financially.

You son is 30 with a job and he’s with an unemployed 21 year old girl?? You’re right, it’s time for him to move out and grow up.

Why doesn't she work, was she laid off due to covid, or is she a lazy sponger.

Just say to them that you totally understood why she wants to go and she is more than welcome to, but her coming to the house within 14 days afterwards will not work for you so she will have to make other arrangements. (Sounds like she might be cocklodging tbh). If it flares up just shrug and say 'we're all adults, we all make our own way in this world, you don't have to like it but it is my decision.' And give them notice for Feb.

YANBU at all. She'll be in airports, crowded planes, socialising with others in Dubai. As others are saying, your house, your rules. If she doesn't want to take a test, that's her choice, however she can stay away from your house 🤷‍♀️

@S00LA

You son is 30 with a job and he’s with an unemployed 21 year old girl?? You’re right, it’s time for him to move out and grow up.

No one is going to convince a 30 year male who’s with a 21 year old female that he’s doing anything wrong.

I didn’t say he was doing anything wrong.

I said he needs to grow up and move out.

She wouldn't be coming back to my house after a holiday without isolating.

Please don’t hide info from your Christmas guests. Before the visit, they deserve to know what kind of precautions everyone in the household is or is not taking. This is true whether you are going to them or they are coming to you.

Jesus, there is no way I would have my near 30 son tell me off for my own house rules. Move out if you don't like it.

But then I also wouldn't have my sons gf live with us! If he wants to play house he can get a house to do so.

I don't care where your travel passing through 2 airports and sitting in a plane for several hours is germ soup 🤮