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Original poster

Sons girlfriend going to Dubai

184 replies

Baileysforchristmas · 29/11/2020 21:19

My sons girlfriend is living with us at the moment. She announced she’s going to Dubai with friends (not with my son) she has to have 2 tests going to Dubai, none to come back to Uk and you don’t have to isolate. I want her to have a test before she comes back to our house and another test 5 days later, as I want my parents to be able to come round for Christmas. She thinks I am being unreasonable as she will have to pay £170 for each test. Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 30/11/2020 11:00

[quote LiG123]@PurpleDaisies hence lock down 🤔[/quote]
But this isn’t a full lock down. People are going to work. Children are in school. Shops are open.

People are going out here where there’s a massively higher rate of covid in the community than in Dubai.

There are issues here, clearly. She sounds like an absolutely free loader but I’d bet the op isn’t demanding a covid test every time this woman gets on a bus.

SquirtleSquad · 30/11/2020 11:01

I'd insist on testing

Mrgrinch · 30/11/2020 11:04

@Tinkity My post wasn't aimed at anyone. I read your link and I wasn't shocked by it, I imagine it's quite common amongst so called 'influencers'. I was just expressing how I think they should be ashamed of themselves.

LiG123 · 30/11/2020 11:05

@PurpleDaisies I would be!

£50 for 3 months inc food and bills and she wants to spread covid in the house.

Piss taker!

Tinkity · 30/11/2020 11:06

“This made me chuckle A lot of influencers are struggling at the moment as brand deals & sponsorships are getting harder to come by so it’s no coincidence that there’s a bigger influx into Dubai by them at the moment. anyone else thinking "didums"? ;-)”

Your response to women possibly resorting to prostitution is to chuckle & think “didums” with a winky face?

Personally I’m wondering what has gone so wrong in their lives that they would resort to this instead of getting a regular job but that’s just me.

RichardMarxisinnocent · 30/11/2020 11:11

[quote notimagain]@RichardMarksisinnocent

Sorry if this is a stupid question, but what's an influencer,

I posted a link to the wiki piece answering this upthread...

anyway...they are individuals who often start out as internet Bloggers who by virtue of what they write about/their style etc gain a large following..Some large companies spot this and may then sponsor them, may ask them to indulge in a bit of product placement in their videos, images etc....

I know one or two who individuals who became influencers as a spin off from blogging about their vaguely interesting day job (their employer knew and approved) and made a bit of cash doing it but certianly didn't get rich on it, unlike some..[/quote]
Thank you, and apologies, I missed your post the first time I read through thread.

wizzbangfizz · 30/11/2020 11:12

What is your son saying - he should be massively grateful she is living rent bloody free. Do they both work? I wouldn't be having this OP it sounds like you are being taken advantage of and it is not fair

PurpleDaisies · 30/11/2020 11:15

£50 for 3 months inc food and bills and she wants to spread covid in the house.

The covid risk from going to Dubai and her complete piss taking financially are two separate issues.

I don’t think demanding a test when she’s coming back from somewhere with a really low covid risk is reasonable. If the op wants proper financial compensation from the woman for essentially lodging at her house (totally reasonable), why package them both up together?

notimagain · 30/11/2020 11:19

Thank you, and apologies, I missed your post the first time I read through thread.

No worries...Smile

TBH given the gender, ages and appearance of the tiny tiny tiny handful of influencers I know I'm struggling with some of the assumptions being made here by some about the ease of finding alternative sources of revenue..... Hmm

Tinkity · 30/11/2020 11:21

[quote Mrgrinch]@Tinkity My post wasn't aimed at anyone. I read your link and I wasn't shocked by it, I imagine it's quite common amongst so called 'influencers'. I was just expressing how I think they should be ashamed of themselves.[/quote]
Oh okay, it’s just you said “There's people losing their real jobs that they've studied and trained for and you're giving pity to self obsessed people” so I assumed the you’re was referring to someone on this thread & specifically me as I’m the only one who mention brand deals. Fair enough if you weren’t though.

TheQueef · 30/11/2020 11:24

@notimagain

Thank you, and apologies, I missed your post the first time I read through thread.

No worries...Smile

TBH given the gender, ages and appearance of the tiny tiny tiny handful of influencers I know I'm struggling with some of the assumptions being made here by some about the ease of finding alternative sources of revenue..... Hmm

Who is paying and what for? If she bought her own ticket or someone's parents paid they could pay the extra.
PandaBearCub · 30/11/2020 11:27

She is so cheeky and selfish!! Says she doesn’t have any money, but can afford a holiday to Dubai? She’s saved on rent, utility bills and food shopping. If she can’t afford to pay rent and contribute to bills and pay for tests, then you need to tell her to sort her priorities out.

If she goes to Dubai, kick her out.

Original poster
Baileysforchristmas · 30/11/2020 11:33

@PandaBearCub i’m seriously thinking about not letting her come back to our house. My son works she doesn’t. Rent here for a 1 bed flat is £700 a month, they would struggle on one wage but if she goes that’s the consequences.

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 30/11/2020 11:36

[quote Baileysforchristmas]@PandaBearCub i’m seriously thinking about not letting her come back to our house. My son works she doesn’t. Rent here for a 1 bed flat is £700 a month, they would struggle on one wage but if she goes that’s the consequences.[/quote]
Don’t make this about the Dubai holiday. Make it about her not paying her way in general.

What you don’t want is for her to change her mind about going and then continue sponging off you.

Chances are if you ask for a lodger’s agreement and a fair contribution to your household, she’ll move out anyway.

diddl · 30/11/2020 11:43

Tbh, none of it is your problem.

She gets tested or lives elsewhere for 2weeks on return.

She's an adult & can sort it out for herself.

Mrgrinch · 30/11/2020 11:46

[quote Baileysforchristmas]@PandaBearCub i’m seriously thinking about not letting her come back to our house. My son works she doesn’t. Rent here for a 1 bed flat is £700 a month, they would struggle on one wage but if she goes that’s the consequences.[/quote]
This is a good idea. She's 21 and lives for free, she needs to get a job and stop freeloading. An adult with no income has no business flying to Dubai.

averythinline · 30/11/2020 11:46

Honestly I wouldnt have her back at all- irrespective of dubai trip she is taking teh piss... maybe ignore the dubai nonsense and just tell her if she wants to live in your house she needs to contribute..
or just kick her out - why isnt she working/studying? where did she live before...
i would give her notice - but if shes off on a trip then she cant come back to your house before xmas...
she is an adult and needs to sort herself out

Tinkity · 30/11/2020 11:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

21833efb · 30/11/2020 11:48

How can she afford this holiday if she isn't working?

showmeshowme12 · 30/11/2020 12:14

She needs to get a job,
Pay for covid tests,
Pay her own way,
Or get out,
Simples.

coronaway · 30/11/2020 13:18

Doesn't have a job, can't afford to pay for a test on her return, a 'friend' is paying for the trip? Sounds like she is a sugar baby to be honest.

forrestgreen · 30/11/2020 13:48

I think your problems would all be solved by saying
"I hope you have a lovely time in Dubai, I'm sorry to say you've overstayed your welcome, if you pack up your belongings before you go we'll be happy to drop them locally on your return. You're welcome to drop in during the day to see ds but that can't start until after Xmas, and I'll be happy for one overnight a week to start then too. I hope you get sorted soon."

wizzbangfizz · 30/11/2020 14:54

"An adult with no income has no business flying to Dubai" THIS

I would also add that an adult with no income should not be freeloading from another family - it is disgraceful.

Palavah · 30/11/2020 15:00

Your house, your rules. If she wants to go to Dubai then £170 is part of the cost of her holiday. She'll be spending that in a heartbeat while she's there.

I would be having a calm conversation about it with your son. If he wants to move out and subsidise her as part of their relationship (assuming he could afford to) then that's his decision.

Nordman · 30/11/2020 15:08

It's not so much the travelling that would worry me but the going on holiday with friends. How many? Her plus two friends = three households mixing. So if that's her plan then I wouldn't let her join my home again before Christmas with or without a test. Perhaps I'm harsh or over cautious but I'd be looking to protect my parents over her wish for a holiday.