"This isn't a proper lockdown, honestly what about your life has changed?"

[BecomeStronger]

Said by a colleague this week.

It's true we're working as normal (school) but nothing else is normal about my life. The things sadly lacking and sorely missed for me are:

My parents
My sister
Any gathering with more than one friend and being able to meet anyone in comfort indoors.
My best friend I have to travel to see.
My running club
The gym
Pubs and restaurants (I don't go that often but am missing the opportunity iyswim)
Not being able to plan anything confident that it will actually happen.
Driving lessons
A day out in London using public transport

These are the routine things I'm missing, let alone the one off big occasions like a party, a holiday, a show or a concert.

I'm not complaining as such, I get it, but I am finding it hard, especially now the dark evenings mean a run after work on my own isn't as pleasant as it was in summer.

What kind of life does someone live to have really not noticed any difference, or are people generally just ignoring it all?

My holidays and days out.
Mooching round the shops, trying on clothes and cosmetics.
My gym
My choir.
Having friends and family round for meals.

Also there’s a sort of uneasiness to daily life now, that wasn’t present before.

I’m missing seeing in laws in their home or ours. They are in their eighties and to meet we sit all wrapped up outside with a fire pit.

I haven’t seen my son for a year as he lives 360 miles away and planned visits have been scuppered by travel/ visiting restrictions.

DH will miss swimming but he has started to swim in a loch nearby.
We are generally easily pleased and probably quite boring but this has impacted on mental health. You’d have to be a robot to not be affected.

I dont see many people in an average week, but we always see my parents or in laws at the weekend, I go to a toddler group every wednesday and my best friend comes for dinner every Thursday. We havent done any of those things during the lockdown, and in fact the toddler group hasn't run since March.

My work is quite different when its done online as I usually meet clients face to face. I also miss being able to do anything spontaneously, whether popling into a shop for a bar of chocolate, or going out somewhere for an impromptu day out rather than having to book a week ahead.

Your colleague's life is like this all the time? Through choice?

I'm mostly really sad for my kids who are missing out on their out of school dance and sports classes again. Am concerned they'll barely get any exercise now due to the darker evenings. DS is also no longer going to college as they've moved everything online.

I can still go running with a friend which is good. Not seeing any family members as they're very vulnerable. Christmas plans are looking a bit shit for this year.

Personally I think it feels much harder this time around

I work in a primary school and the way we are working during lockdown is the same as in September before lockdown II.

For me the sad thing is that all the usual support networks / activities to help cope with stress are missing e.g. gym, coffee with friends, browsing shops, visiting family, a hug from family or friends outside my household.

I find it weird when folk say everything is ‘normal’

I mean you can’t attend a funeral or a wedding. Women are birthing alone. People are dying alone.
Much of the arts are completely closed.
You can’t see most of your friends and family.
Did people really do so little?

@Cookiecrisps

I work in a primary school and the way we are working during lockdown is the same as in September before lockdown II.

For me the sad thing is that all the usual support networks / activities to help cope with stress are missing e.g. gym, coffee with friends, browsing shops, visiting family, a hug from family or friends outside my household.

Yes, thats it. I like work and I'm actually grateful that I'm still going out to work and having that human interaction, I did not enjoy wfh, but all the things you look forward to out of work are gone.

I agree with the PP who said that they are finding this lockdown harder than the first one. I think it’s because it feels never ending and I feel frustrated with the way some people are behaving in a selfish way at the moment.

At least in the first lockdown it felt like everyone was pulling together with the common aim of fighting the virus. Now I feel like there are too many divisions and the news reporting pits people against each other e.g. public vs private sector, furloughed vs non furloughed, government vs general public, wfh vs going out to work.

I miss going to museums, art galleries and country houses, and going to the pub.

DH misses going to watch live football and the pub. We also miss the freedom of going where we like for long weekends and holidays. Travel Corridors can open or close at any time. I cannot visit my family who live 80 miles away.

We have both worked throughout this pandemic so it feels like there is no "fun outlet" to ease our stresses iyswim.

We haven’t seen my OH’s family these past few weeks, but I’ve seen my parents as they look after our child once a week. We’re both still going to work and, when the weather’s dry, out on walks. In our life not too much has changed - but that’s not the same for everyone.

I miss my friends - desperately!

I'm finding it hard that work life carries on as normal (teacher) and I come into contact with hundreds of students / adults on a daily basis but I can't actually see the people I WANT to see!

I am missing being able to go out for lunches/evening meals at the weekend, and not having the options to go places to help entertain my son.
Everything just feels a bit sad and miserable( or at least I do)

Well it isn't that much different for me 🤷🏽‍♀️

I'm missing just being able to mooch off to the shops but that is my only difference.
I work from home anyway, have done for 10 years. Kids all at school, DH still going out to work as normal.
I miss seeing my best friend for drinks but we've been getting by by taking our portable coffee mugs to the park bench instead, and we've been doing that all year so that's not particularly different either.

DD has left ou3 flat 5 times since March usually dentist / doctor visits. She is a full time student studying online and 20 years old.
She used to swim, wanted to join a choir, go to concerts.

Now all her contacts are virtual and her closest mate lives in India.

As for family, my parents are useless and have never particularly made much of an effort to see us and I live with my in laws so I see them as normal.
As for my siblings, one takes after my parents and couldn't give a toss what I do and the other lives a few hundred miles away so I only ever talk to them on the phone anyway.

Kids and young people are missing out on SO much. TOO much!

I think what people who say that may mean is that compared to the first lockdown this is very different. For me, I haven't been able to visit family who were in a tier3 anyway ages ago. So as a lonely single parent lecturer...work is in,schools are in. Haven't been going to pubs much anyway as last time I tried it it was crap and nothing like before march. I have been missing many things but have done so since march. Doesn't feel different to pre lockdown 2 for me.

I understand what your colleague means as personally our current lives haven’t been impacted much more by this lockdown - only change really is lack of kids additional activities & seeing friends (which had greatly reduced after rule of 6 anyway and you can still walk with one other person outside).
The first lockdown we had to get our heads round home schooling and setting up working from home, it was really alien. First lockdown we had massive queues at the local supermarkets and everywhere else was completely closed, the roads were deserted. This time I can pop into town now and Robert Dyas, Superdrug, Boots, newsagents and banks are open. Independent shops are offering collection services. We are having takeaway tonight.

Our social lives are dramatically different from pre-Covid but not as much of a shock and it feels much less change than when we were in lockdown1 in the spring. My widowed parent is in a bubble and that was my biggest concern in the first lockdown when they were entirely alone.

Lockdown2 - We are fortunate our children are back in school with only one short self isolation so far. Every school email makes me panic now!

From everything that’s happened I expected an abnormal Autumn/Winter so this feel like minimal disruption. Obviously all depends on your own circumstances how much impact lockdown2 is having.

What kind of life does someone live to have really not noticed any difference

You may not have meant it this way, but that comment sounds really, really unkind. There are many in society who don’t have lots of friends/the money to socialise/have a day out/join a gym/etc etc. There are many whose health or disability mean their worlds have permanently shrunk. Many, many older people find themselves alone, a lot.

Count your blessings OP - at least you get to have that stuff back.

As I said, perhaps I misread your tone 🤷🏻‍♀️

I have to teach online and it is soul destroying. I used to love teaching.

I'm sad my DC are having to film their nativity play, that all their clubs have stopped, that we can't go for a meal as a family anymore, that they haven't seen their grandparents for a year, that they'll miss out on all the wintery Xmas things like pantos and Xmas markets. Small things but make it all thoroughly miserable.

My life hasn’t changed, we’re all still going out to work and school every day. I have to walk my dog and muck out my horse every morning before I go to work. I see my parents twice a week and call them every day. I do miss the theatre and going out to a restaurant for a meal.

Everything is the same in lockdown 2 and it was before lockdown 2 for me.

I also work in a school and am CV so am being extremely careful about what I do and where I go. I haven't seen anyone outside of school or my home since going back in September. All shopping is done online. Only leave the house to go to school or for a walk. All social interaction is online (including choir and church).

So, no, nothing has changed for me - this is my new normal. Lockdown 2 has had no impact on me at all.

BUT it's hugely different to before lockdown 1, and hugely different to how I would like to be living.

I say the same thing sometimes but what I mean is that my life hasn't really changed from what I was doing between lockdowns. It's still drastically different to how it was before Covid though that's starting to feel like a distant memory now.

But during lockdown 1 I was furloughed, I didn't leave the house at all for the first few weeks as I had poorly controlled asthma (much better now following a change in medication). After the first lockdown ended, I went back to work but remained very careful outside work - only going to the shop for essentials, occasional beer gardens over the summer but never inside, no visiting indoors with family or friends.

So lockdown 2 feels very much like more of the same. My workplace (childcare) is open as usual, I can still go to the shops for essentials only, and still occasionally meet up with a friend outside but keep in touch with most people via Zoom (my family aren't local). Perhaps this is also what your colleague means?