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Original poster

"This isn't a proper lockdown, honestly what about your life has changed?"

118 replies

BecomeStronger · 21/11/2020 16:45

Said by a colleague this week.

It's true we're working as normal (school) but nothing else is normal about my life. The things sadly lacking and sorely missed for me are:

My parents
My sister
Any gathering with more than one friend and being able to meet anyone in comfort indoors.
My best friend I have to travel to see.
My running club
The gym
Pubs and restaurants (I don't go that often but am missing the opportunity iyswim)
Not being able to plan anything confident that it will actually happen.
Driving lessons
A day out in London using public transport

These are the routine things I'm missing, let alone the one off big occasions like a party, a holiday, a show or a concert.

I'm not complaining as such, I get it, but I am finding it hard, especially now the dark evenings mean a run after work on my own isn't as pleasant as it was in summer.

What kind of life does someone live to have really not noticed any difference, or are people generally just ignoring it all?

OP posts:
Houseofflu · 22/11/2020 09:15

The first lockdown changed a lot of things. But the second one didn't change much. School is still open. Our work arrangement stayed the same. We can go to the park. The traffic is still terrible. We do everything else online anyway.

Jessicabrassica · 22/11/2020 09:19

Not much change here. Dh's choir hasn't met since March. He's still at school. Kids at school. I'm out 12hrs a day at work (nhs). Running with friends at the weekend. Dance lessons online - but now with bonus yoga from dance teacher on a weekend. Evening class online - couldn't have guaranteed getting there if f2f so that's a bonus.
See friends on WhatsApp. They either live away or work in education so rarely see them term time anyway.
Don't have money for gym, meals out etc. We missed a bunch of festivals in the summer which was sad.
Thing I miss most is hugs.

DuckingMel · 22/11/2020 09:27

My life hasn't changed, but then again I'm disabled (and have similarly disabled DS and DP), live in the middle of nowhere, shop only online, work at a school, only have family abroad and have very few friends (and they're more of the "fair weather" kind) in this country. Glad to hear that there are others like me, so I don't feel quite so tragic. And my condolences to everyone else - this too shall pass (though not for me)!

the80sweregreat · 22/11/2020 09:47

It's been busier in the shops with all the people who'd normally go to the ones that can't open. It's mad really when you think about it and unfair on the shops that are not supermarkets or garden centers/ range etc.
We've all been able to work this lockdown so that hasn't changed for us , but I've missed being able to go out for lunch or dinner with friends.
It's not as bad as lockdown 1 was but once all the other shops open up and pubs I think people will go a bit mad.
Daily mail have some inside news about lifting the restrictions over Christmas today.

ComeOnBabyHauntMyBubble · 22/11/2020 09:51

What kind of life does someone live to have really not noticed any difference,

A nice,chilled , stress free (outside of work ) one. Especially now the weather is shit, I have no desire to go anywhere.

While I find your colleague's comment callous and rude, so is yours.

MoirasRoses · 22/11/2020 11:14

My life hasn’t changed much in terms of lockdown one v two. We are mostly at home. Not seeing anyone. The big difference is nursery is open, which frankly is saving my sanity. And we can go to country parks, which is nice. Much better than walking round our local village for the 5000th time. That got very tedious. I’m also no longer terrified of covid. I was really anxious back in March, having just had a baby. Now I understand my families risks much better & it’s very low really. While I’d rather not catch it, because being ill with children is shit, I’ll treat it like any other illness.

However, my life has changed enormously from 2019. I miss it horribly. I miss my friends. I miss my family who live 4 hours away. I miss the freedom, the theatre, the cinema, cafes, restaurants & holidays. I miss sending my child to nursery & not constantly thinking will this be the week we’ve got to bloody isolate a 3 year old. As a glasses wearer I hate face masks with a passion. I hate zoom. I hate teams. But I love WFH.. I hope that stays.

lookdeepintotheparka · 22/11/2020 12:17

@the80sweregreat I agree it seems rather counterproductive to me that the shops allowed to remain open are really busy!

Doing my weekly shop was much more stressful than usual last week as Sainsbury's was so packed. I noticed many people seemed to be buying Christmas stuff because who wants to leave it all until the last minute!

My local high street is otherwise deserted as none of the independent shops are allowed to open Hmm

hardtimeuphere · 22/11/2020 13:50

Nothing is the same about my life. Nothing. If I didn't push myself to get out of the house I wouldnt as I now have no reason to, can't go to meetings, no baby groups, can't see any of my family as they live in England and France, don't have many friends who want to meet up as recently moved here and lots of friends scared, rains all the time where I live. I have to be grateful for the fact I can now go to coffee shops and restaurants as in tier 1 Scotland so this is a major boon for me after Scotland having a tighter time of it on the whole but spending a fortune on petrol and food to get me and baby out every day. But I feel like a shell of the person I was. A shell. I live in the middle of nowhere and just miss everything about my old life. Just trying to build a new one whilst looking after one year old while being seriously depressed is taking its toll.
I know lots of people worse off. I know but felt good just to get that out.
Much love to anyone else suffering and who have also lost perspective and any glimmer of hope.This will end one day.

MadameBlobby · 22/11/2020 16:34

I lost my nice office job and although I was lucky to get a new one wfh which it will be even after Covid as the office is 250 miles away is not the same

Husband hasn’t worked a full week or earned a full wage since March

Due to the above I now work full time, no day off in the week

No cafes, shops, lunch out, coffees out with friends on my days off

No book club

No swimming, no gym. I joined the gym in Feb but developed a very weird bug for a few weeks and was too ill to go to the induction. Now they are all closed again anyway.

No cinema, lunches or dinners out with my husband and/or kids

All kids activities stopped

No going round to my mum/friend/sister’s and being able to go inside their house

Even when the pandemic is over there are still things that have changed. My lovely job will still be gone. Ok the one I have now is good as well but I never wanted it to change. I liked what I had.

MadameBlobby · 22/11/2020 16:38

Big hugs @hardtimeuphere. We are in tier 4 Scotland but tbh other than my husband not being able to go to work nothing for me has changed really. My world has got smaller and smaller and is now just entirely lived within these 4 walls and even more worrying is that the more time that passes the more comfortable I feel with it and the more scared of venturing out

WankPuffins · 22/11/2020 18:38

It's no different for me. We didn't really go anywhere, couldn't afford to eat out or have nights out and we don't have any friends.

Only thing that's changed is not having PIL round (but that's been a bonus for me).

I always get told my life must be very sad if I'm not affected by lockdowns. But hey, I'm happy.

WankPuffins · 22/11/2020 18:39

And luckily Dh job is secure. But he always worked from home anyway.

Pinotwoman82 · 22/11/2020 18:56

To be honest I’m finding this one a lot easier, the schools are back, I’m back at work, we don’t really do a great amount in the winter anyway, my children are missing their football though, but in the summer I told them to really make the most of the time out and we went for a few breaks away, days out. For me I enjoy not rushing around in the cold dark evenings and weekends and just chilling. The first lockdown in the spring nearly broke me, spring is when I come out of hibernation from the winter and the fact that I was called a murderer for sitting at least 20 metres away from someone at a beach Hmm
However I obviously appreciate that for some people this is incredibly hard.

Elfieishere · 22/11/2020 19:06

Nothing much has changed. Working from home, kids at school, partners at work.
I still go out to the shops when I want, take the kids to the park.
I still see my parents and grandparents when I want.
Missing going out for food/cinema etc but had a couple takeaways instead.

exLtEveDallas · 22/11/2020 19:29

What kind of life does someone live to have really not noticed any difference
A quiet, content one.

Personally Lockdown 1 was actually good for me, work became a pleasure rather than a chore and I did less hours for the same pay. Whilst I couldn’t enjoy holidays and breaks I was able to spend afternoons in the garden. I hate shopping, don’t go to pubs and frankly the less people around me the better!

Lockdown 2 hasn’t affected me at all. Still at school, still go to Tesco on Saturday, still being boring and normal at home.

DD on the other hand has struggled and suffered. Lockdown 2 has pissed her off more than the first one and she is dreading her school closing early for Xmas or another isolation period (just coming to the end of one). Different strokes and all that.

WankPuffins · 22/11/2020 20:34

What kind of life does someone live to have really not noticed any difference

I'm so fed up of comments like these.

So what if I don't have any friends or a big family, don't have the cash to eat out or take my kids to the cinema and shock horror, don't go to the theatre or galleries?

Maybe I'm happy this way?

Chesneyhawkes1 · 22/11/2020 20:41

I miss going to the shops and browsing and seeing my friends. But that's about it.

Work is the same. Still walk the dogs. My hobby is running, so can still do that.

Meet my Mum once a week for a long walk with the dogs. And my friend another day for one.

Meals out I miss. But had a takeaway instead.

Chesneyhawkes1 · 22/11/2020 20:41

Oh and I've missed 3 holidays this year!

MadameBlobby · 22/11/2020 21:09

@exLtEveDallas

What kind of life does someone live to have really not noticed any difference A quiet, content one.

Personally Lockdown 1 was actually good for me, work became a pleasure rather than a chore and I did less hours for the same pay. Whilst I couldn’t enjoy holidays and breaks I was able to spend afternoons in the garden. I hate shopping, don’t go to pubs and frankly the less people around me the better!

Lockdown 2 hasn’t affected me at all. Still at school, still go to Tesco on Saturday, still being boring and normal at home.

DD on the other hand has struggled and suffered. Lockdown 2 has pissed her off more than the first one and she is dreading her school closing early for Xmas or another isolation period (just coming to the end of one). Different strokes and all that.

A quiet content one in a secure job I take it.
studychick81 · 22/11/2020 21:20

Holidays
Seeing my parents, grandparents and in-laws
Nov/Dec are big birthday months in our family, we are missing numerous parties and meals out.
Work
Gym
Kids activities after school

kittensarecute · 22/11/2020 21:35

I can't do any theatre, my biggest love in the world. Missing it to the point of depression. I need to act and sing again, I don't know how much longer I can cope without it.

psychomath · 22/11/2020 22:14

It doesn't surprise me that some people feel as though not much has changed for them - as others have said, there are lots of reasons why people might not get out of the house and see others very often, regardless of covid. I am a bit surprised by the number of people who seem to be in that position, at least on MN, but I suppose the very nature of being housebound and/or socially isolated makes those people less visible to wider society, so maybe it's far more common to live that way than I realised.

What I find baffling is the people who ask so incredulously "But what are you actually missing?", as though it's inconceivable to them that others might have families, friendships, jobs, sports clubs, social groups, hobbies, travel plans etc that the situation has buggered up in one way or another. Even if you're someone who has none of those things under normal circumstances, through choice or otherwise, surely it's not hard to realise that you're in the minority.

notheragain41 · 23/11/2020 07:43

@psychomath I'm not one of these challenging people of what they're missing, but for me, despite loving going to restaurants, cinema etc this lockdown is different because it wasn't a shock like the first and has a finite end date, ok I know there's a chance it could be extended, but I'm just seeing it as 4 weeks so whilst there's some bits I'm missing, it doesn't feel like last time when you never knew if (close to) reality would return again, and as it has returned again previously I don't feel so fearful. Plus we have the light at the end of the tunnel with the vaccine.

For me that's why this lockdown isn't comparable and I'm not missing things as much as the first, I know I will do them again soon, not because I don't do them.

WankPuffins · 23/11/2020 09:37

housebound and/or socially isolated

Wow, and there I was just happy growing veg and potting in my garden for pleasure and just being happy in the company of my immediate family instead of being a social butterfly. House bound or socially isolated Grin do give over.

Blobby10 · 23/11/2020 10:29

Mine hasn't changed that much as I couldn't afford to go out for meals, theatre, cinema, shopping, coffee/cafes etc anyway. My gym is closed but I've been at work every day since March and did lots of cycling to keep my sanity. I'm bubbled with my OH (both single households) so travel to and from his house every few days although he had Covid so didn't see each other for 3 weeks then he was ill with something not Covid last week so in hospital on his own.

What I miss most is seeing my adult children - I usually see my DD every week as we follow her around the country playing elite sport. That is all behind closed doors now so I've seen her once since July. DS2 would have been home for 3 or 4 weekends or we would have gone to see him but I haven't seen him since June.

Have still seen my parents but no physical contact which is difficult as Dad is really struggling with just Mum for company 24/7 and I want to hug him so much. Don't usually see my siblings and their families that much in normal times so not really missed them.