"This isn't a proper lockdown, honestly what about your life has changed?"

[BecomeStronger]

Said by a colleague this week.

It's true we're working as normal (school) but nothing else is normal about my life. The things sadly lacking and sorely missed for me are:

My parents
My sister
Any gathering with more than one friend and being able to meet anyone in comfort indoors.
My best friend I have to travel to see.
My running club
The gym
Pubs and restaurants (I don't go that often but am missing the opportunity iyswim)
Not being able to plan anything confident that it will actually happen.
Driving lessons
A day out in London using public transport

These are the routine things I'm missing, let alone the one off big occasions like a party, a holiday, a show or a concert.

I'm not complaining as such, I get it, but I am finding it hard, especially now the dark evenings mean a run after work on my own isn't as pleasant as it was in summer.

What kind of life does someone live to have really not noticed any difference, or are people generally just ignoring it all?

I'm sick of wearing a mask. Have to wear one at work. It's stopping me goingnotger places, even when we weren't in lockdown.

I miss swimming.

My life hasn't change at all, worked from home prior to lockdown and live in the middle of nowhere. I feel bad for everyone that's had their hobbies or routines pulled from under them though for so long now, I hope life returns to normal soon for the majority with the vaccine on the horizon.

I have a toddler and haven't done much socialising since she was born to be honest, so I'm not missing pubs, house parties, cinema etc. I stopped going to exercise classes when she was born and have just worked out home since then, so that's no different. We never went out to restaurants much with DD, we just preferred doing more active things with her. I haven't been to shops much since she was a toddler either as she would always get restless, so I was used to ordering everything online.

We're in London and a lot of things like museums, theme parks and toddler classes went back to normal in August/September, so it's only the past few weeks that have been different. I'd usually do more indoor activiites with DD in winter, but since lockdown 2, we've switched them to a couple of outdoor toddler music sessions and a Zoom class, plus she started nursery a few months ago so they aren't such a big part of her life now anyway. We are still doing trips out, it's just that they are all park trips rather than museums etc, but she's delighted with that, since the playgrounds are open. We are missing swimming and dance classes but they had all returned to normal last term, but our nearest venues weren't available on the days she wasn't at nursery, so we might not have been able to go even in normal times.

We would normally do more meet ups with my family and her cousins, but we're all also busier so it might not have happened much anyway. I don't have many friends who I'd see regularly anyway, so no different there - I just focus on spending time with my family. So things are a bit different, but then again life would have changed for us anyway (as DD started nursery), and swapping indoor things for outdoor has been fairly simple.

Everything I enjoyed doing has stopped:

Meeting friends for coffee my two closest friends are ECV and shielding
Bellringing (2-3 times a week)
Drinks in the pub with friends
College course cancelled
Theatre trips
Volunteering roles

All I do now is clean and tidy up from all the wfh people in my house who make a mess all day long. There’s nothing for me. I hate living like this.

And exercise classes

My spinal arthritis treatments (swimming, physio etc);
My parents;
My wraparound childcare;
My running club;
My cycling club;
My friends;
Other adults (I’m a lone parent to two under-9s);
My counsellor (recently bereaved by suicide);
Being able to work front-line without full PPE everyday;
My life.

I'm lucky that my life isn't vastly different, the kids are at school and I'm working.

I was never into high Street shopping so haven't missed that and rarely went to a pub.

The one thing I do miss is my best friend coming round every week for dinner and spending the evening chatting so we're now meeting outside at the weekend and walking the dog for an hour.

I find it weird when folk say everything is ‘normal’

*I mean you can’t attend a funeral or a wedding. Women are birthing alone. People are dying alone.
Much of the arts are completely closed.
You can’t see most of your friends and family.
Did people really do so little?
I'm missing going to gigs and the cinema.
However this year no one close to me has dies, no weddings were planned and no one in my circle has given birth.
I work with a lot of my friends so see them anyway.
When we were between lockdowns I stayed in several hotels so managed to get a few long weekend breaks in.
Me and two DS's have worked as normal,DH shut his business down for good but has got a job so all is good there.

During the first lockdown we were able to go out walking for our exercise. Now it's winter it is nice coming home too a cosy house and snuggling up for the evening. I'm still able to go cycling and walking on my days off.
I don't think I do so little!
Both lockdowns have been ok for me as I have saved a couple of thousand pounds as well.

It's only four weeks! Normally I wouldn't miss the shops but I went to London last week for business and it was a shame I couldn't do some shopping- they looked so pretty and Christmassy.
Other than that I'd normally meet friends for coffee, maybe go out for a meal. My son has had to stop working for the month and misses the gym.
But other than that things haven't changed. It does seem completely different than first time, mainly because kids are still in school /college and people still going out to work and there's as many cars on the street as normal.

Smile each day I agree , phrased callously by op.

My dp and sibling are deceased.
I'm at home work still, dc are at school, we see plenty of people on the school run, we access London by car just before this 4 week lock down and will do again.
Dd has sen and doesn't do trips well or likes To go out so it's been quite good for us.

The main impact this year has been holidays although we had 3 nights by the sea in summer.

That sort of life op

I miss going to work and socialising with collegues, I miss socialising with friends, I miss church. My children are missing socialising dreadfully (16&14) and my son misses his football. Just socialising generally and my wider family, cinema trips, holidays.
I know we are lucky, finaicially we have been fine the house is looking great and we haven't lost anyone this year. But life is very, very different.

Re concerts etc, yes people can't go to these but you also have to remember that many people who work in these industries have had no work for about 8 months now and no more on the horizon. So for them, life is far from normal.
Nightclubs and travel is similarly affected.

Also, because many were sole traders freelancing, they've been entitled to little or nothing in government support. An estimated 1-3 million people have fallen through the cracks for various reasons. Eg DPs main income for the last 10 years has been building festival stages, but because he was on PAYE for one of his main clients in the qualifying period he wasn't entitled to any help.

Fortunately he's found work in another industry but many haven't. Universal credit only helps in limited circumstances, eg families with children and not much else in the way of income, yet bills still have to be paid.

DD has left our flat 5 times since March usually dentist / doctor visits. She is a full time student studying online and 20 years old.

I’d be very concerned if that was my DD. Becoming a recluse to the extent of leaving the house only once every six weeks on average (5 times divided into time since first lockdown began) isn’t good.

... and a flat as well so it’s quite a small spade and she’s not even going out into a garden!

Space not spade!

For me personally I miss having a social life... my social life now consists of going for a walk with one friend now. It's shit.

I miss my family... I haven't seen my sister and her DC since last Christmas.

I miss my exercise class... middle aged, unfit women meeting outside (we abandoned the hall back in March) a couple of times a week. How does that put anyone at risk?

I miss my children going to their much loved activities. DD managed one brownie meeting before this new lockdown started... 9 months of her Brownie time just gone. She won't get that back because she will still have to leave at 10. There were so many special things they had planned that were cancelled.

I miss going to the office and seeing my colleagues.

I'm a trustee of a charity and I'm sick of trying to fundraise 'virtually'. I want to be able to volunteer properly.

I'm sick of life being so joyless. I'm sick of the people who rush to judge everyone else. I particularly hate the sanctimony of those who rush to tell us 'the virus doesn't get bored' etc.

Oh, stop whinging everyone, don't you know you should be happy being cosy and warm at home, drinking hot chocolate in your dressing gown all day every day? 🙄

Oh, and 'snuggling...'

She either has a very isolated life normally, or she is breaking a lot of the current rules....

@borntohula OMG... the people who want us to embrace pyjamas as day wear

Can I add I miss getting dressed up to my list please? Really planning my outfit and putting on loads of make up and shoes that pinch my feet.

Not that much has changed for us with current lockdown - shops are click and collect is the main change which is what I prefer anyway.

First lockdown in March had much more impact on us - both the kids lost school, I had to stop work and have no income whilst I home educated them, one with SN. All kids clubs closed. Our holiday had to be cancelled and we lost £1,500. Our roof and chimney both which were needed to be replaced urgently got delayed 6 months. DH had to wfh though that was an improvement.

I think some of it is we've got used to it and kids have not had clubs since March so that's not new. Having school is a huge thing for them, roof and chimney have been done and our house move can now proceed.

Everything about my life has changed.

I have no work - and I loved my job.

I'm living off some government money and savings. I have no spare money.
I can't go to a pub or restaurant.
I can't go to an art gallery or museum.
I can't get my hair cut.
I can't go swimming.
I can't go on holiday or even to visit family and friends.
I can't go for a mooch around the shops.

And so much more. Life is utterly joyless.

@PimlicoJo

I'm sorry. That is all really tough.

Raggiedolls. Thanks. I know I'm actually fortunate compared to most people. I'm not ill and neither are the people I care about. I don't want to sound like I'm complaining. I'm just amazed when people say their lives haven't changed.

Honestly my life isn't massively different this month, I'm bubbled with my mum, DH and I working and kids in school, main thing is football is cancelled. Yes can't go to restaurants or see other family etc but as it's (theoretically at least) for 4 weeks, a set period unlike the last lockdown, I'm not thinking much about it, life is going on and in December I will probably book a meal out but that's it.