'the ban includes partners who live elsewhere'

[Muranoandizumi]

Those of you who don't live with your partner and can't form a bubble, will you be seeing them as normal ? Do they expect us to only meet our partner outside and socially distanced for potentially months ?

@HugeAckmansWife

And my question about transmission? Please explain how my dp and I returning to separate houses increases the risk to anyone?

Because you would have had no contact beyond outside at 2m apart, so this would mean minimal risk, versus indoor contact which is now forbidden from Thursday if not in a support bubble.

I get that samphire. I'm not talking about travelling long distances or partying. I'm talking about adults, often with kids, on mature relationships who only want to see each other. Solo no, I mean that the couple are no more likely to catch or spread it further than if they did live together. The fact that they cannot live together for very good reasons does not mean, in my view that they should be kept apart for this undefined long time.

I'm just learning how to use the site. @ginger I was just curious as ecosse if I remember rightly is french for Scottish and I wondered if their rules were different. Tis all 🙂

I get that samphire. I'm not talking about travelling long distances or partying. I'm talking about adults, often with kids, on mature relationships who only want to see each other. I understood we were talking about different circumstances, but, given the somewhat blanket "I'll be seeing OH no matter what" responses here I thought it might be useful to see what ramifications there could be.

If you don't like the possibilities tough. You still get to make the decisions you want to make. But my point still stands. There can be ramifications to such decisions.

@MarkRuffaloCrumble

Oh and while the DC are going to school every day and mixing with 1500 people I’m not giving up time with the person who makes me happy.

Exactly this!

remember he could have been on furlough had he asked.

The govt furlough scheme is to support businesses where there has been a downturn due to Covid and to retain jobs (until the downturn ends, or the scheme ends). It's not for twats who want to avoid the lockdown rules and have some time off with their gf!

Had he requested it and the employer agreed, the employer would be in breach of the scheme rules.

@VanGoghsDog

remember he could have been on furlough had he asked.

The govt furlough scheme is to support businesses where there has been a downturn due to Covid and to retain jobs (until the downturn ends, or the scheme ends). It's not for twats who want to avoid the lockdown rules and have some time off with their gf!

Had he requested it and the employer agreed, the employer would be in breach of the scheme rules.

Not quite. They rota'd on and off for furlough, so they all got the good and the bad bits. The firm always had enough work for just over half of them to stay on. Their rota system is perfectly legal.

He could have asked to be rota'd off if there was a time period that was important to him, just as others did. But he didn't. And he did this all through lockdown, all through his work and furloughed periods. He chose to take additional risks... and it had consequences for him, his colleagues and the company.

I'll be seeing my partner. He was adamant we would be very strict about it but has become flexible now so will be going for walks but holding hands etc. We are both very careful otherwise.

I feel like a mug for following the rules last time. I’d just started feeling ready for a relationship 4 years after losing my husband, but obviously didn’t start dating.

Well I say obviously but I’ve been amazed from reading the relationships board how many people met and started relationships during full lockdown.

I’ve been so bastard lonely, and now it’s happening again!

But samphire these are extraordinary circumstances. All of us tat don't cohabit have made our choices based on a normal world, and as it happens I didn't choose not to be married, my ex and ow took care of that for me. If not for that I'd be in the lucky position that many are with their SO for company and adult conversation, a nice little family unit. As it stands, I keep me and my kids, a little independent unit and have a relationship that is adult and separate. As stated above, in OUR circumstances, seeing each other does not increase risk

@KarlKennedysDurianFruit

How do you think military couples manage?

By choosing to be in the forces/ marry someone in the forces and thus understanding from the start that there will be many long separations? By being part of a community of people in the same situation with networks and processes to support it? It's not the same at all.

@HugeAckmansWife

But samphire these are extraordinary circumstances. All of us tat don't cohabit have made our choices based on a normal world, and as it happens I didn't choose not to be married, my ex and ow took care of that for me. If not for that I'd be in the lucky position that many are with their SO for company and adult conversation, a nice little family unit. As it stands, I keep me and my kids, a little independent unit and have a relationship that is adult and separate. As stated above, in OUR circumstances, seeing each other does not increase risk

Yep. I'm with you @HugeAckmansWife

I managed to get out of a hideously abusive marriage a little over two years ago. Have had to deal with his continued bullying ever since. For me, the one thing saving my mental health, was that I was building a social life again, a career. I've started a new job (I'm lucky) but it's hard doing it through zoom. I love my DC to bits but I need close adult company as well. I'm not going to put my life on hold forever and watch my mental health go down the drain.

I don't disagree with measures but I do think there is a limit as to what is fair to ask people to do.

I don't want to live with my DP and there is nothing more complicated going on that means we couldn't.

I'm not moving in with someone I don't want to live with just so I can see him for the next month.

@HugeAckmansWife

But samphire these are extraordinary circumstances. All of us tat don't cohabit have made our choices based on a normal world, and as it happens I didn't choose not to be married, my ex and ow took care of that for me. If not for that I'd be in the lucky position that many are with their SO for company and adult conversation, a nice little family unit. As it stands, I keep me and my kids, a little independent unit and have a relationship that is adult and separate. As stated above, in OUR circumstances, seeing each other does not increase risk

I have no idea why you think I have maligned you in any way!

Or suggested you are making an incorrect, rash or stupid decision!

I responded to a question you asked, not of me directly, but one I felt my DHs current position could be one possible answer to.

I didn't mention or pass judgement, know or need to know why you make the choices you do!

You are defending yourself against something I haven't said!

The ONLY person I have maligned is one man who made his choices, by his own account didn't do so with much care, and has had a negative effect on himself, colleagues and employer!

He is the flip side to your choice. He is the possible negative outcome. He exists. As I said, if you don't like this as a possible outcome, maybe because you feel it refects badly on you, tough! You still have every right to make the choices you do! But sometimes people making the same choices, for similar reasons, will cause issues!

Samphire I wasn't having a pop at you - we seem to be at cross purposes. Your DH's colleague's situation is different to mine - I would argue he is not the "flip side of my choice" as our situations are completely different and what we are doing is very different - my DP lives and works entirely alone, ten mins drive away from me and we are not "out partying". Defending my position does not mean I feel insecure or uncertain about it. I am happy to defend it and try to help others understand why "simply" following the rules isn't always either necessary, kind or possible.

Defending my position does not mean I feel insecure or uncertain about it. I am happy to defend it and try to help others understand why "simply" following the rules isn't always either necessary, kind or possible. I would say stop defending your choices. You REALLY don't have to!

I think we are at cross purposes and I apologise if I made you feel as though you had to defend anything. That wasn't my intent.

I am pissed off with those who choose to interpret the rules, guidance, laws for their own convenience without any due diligence or common sense.

In total agreement with your last sentence and thank you for the apology - I find its the lack of common sense that irks me most, which includes blindly following "rules" regardless of anything.

I just read my apology back - it was shocking!! IF I made you feel bad! OMG

More apologies...

@CuriousaboutSamphire haha you've made my day, you are a breath of fresh air, sometimes the tone of voice is needed isn't it! I completely agree with @HugeAckmansWife but I can see where you're coming from too Curious, and why you're so annoyed at The Twonk. Hope they've managed to isolate everyone who needed to be now and that things settle down for them all.

Posters saying it’s unrealistic I regularly don’t see my DH for a month+ because of work. It’s completely doable.

Not that I’m judging those of you who will break the rules to see your DP’s, but please don’t be so dramatic about a month.

Chailatteplease But presumably that is a choice you made yourselves, not had enforced on you?

There is no way it's going to just be a month

This is why I don't believe there is any point in this lockdown at all.

All I've seen for the past few days, both here and on social media, is 'can I do this' and 'can I do that', and when told no 'well I'm going to do it anyway'.

Because it doesn't matter if you meet up with your partner.
It doesn't matter if your older child comes home from uni every other weekend.
It doesn't matter if my child plays with his mates after school.
It doesn't matter if I don't wear a mask.

People are CONSTANTLY fighting and challenging the rules.

It's entirely up to what you do and how you conduct yourself, but the truth is that unless we all work together to stop the spread of this virus, it's going to be even worse, for even longer.

It should be clear to the government that feelings have changed since March. People no longer want to stay at home away from family, people don't want to stay apart from partners, people are determined that Christmas will be celebrated whatever the cost .. so all that's happening is that the people who DO stick to the rules are struggling, when everyone who thinks they're the exception is out there loving life with friends and family.

Lockdown shouldn't be happening. Not again.

DP is in the army so regularly away and uncontactable for long periods of time, he's currently on a 5 week exercise with lots of other people, this finishes 2 weeks into the new lockdown.
He will be coming home regardless for a weeks leave once it finishes, but is that actually permitted under the guidance? I find it really confusing for military families as stated above

How much is your shag worth?

How embarrassing that a grown woman thinks being in a relationship and seeing their partner is purely about a shag?