'the ban includes partners who live elsewhere'

[Muranoandizumi]

Those of you who don't live with your partner and can't form a bubble, will you be seeing them as normal ? Do they expect us to only meet our partner outside and socially distanced for potentially months ?

@TheGinGenie

Yeah I'm not doing it again. DP and I spent 12 weeks apart earlier in the year and really suffered, fuck that.

You've had months to remedy the situation and if you have not, then tough shit.

@SoloMummy
Your attitude is exactly the problem. Whether or not people can see their partner shouldn't come down to finances which is essentially what the current rules around support bubbles are flawed. It is more essential that the typical person in a HMO gets to see somebody who they actually like and can have a conversation with than it is for the typical single mother of 3 (who already gets some level of interaction from the kids and at the school gate) to get a shag.

[quote StatisticalSense]@SoloMummy
Your attitude is exactly the problem. Whether or not people can see their partner shouldn't come down to finances which is essentially what the current rules around support bubbles are flawed. It is more essential that the typical person in a HMO gets to see somebody who they actually like and can have a conversation with than it is for the typical single mother of 3 (who already gets some level of interaction from the kids and at the school gate) to get a shag.[/quote]
And tbh Solomummy it's kind of tough shit to you isn't it, seeings people are going to carry on seeing their partners if they want to.

Although @StatisticalSense is there a need to bring single mothers into it in that way?The point is for everyone, for the state to overreach and say it's illegal to see their partners is going too far. I completely support restrictions and lockdown but there should be a limit as to what is reasonable to ask people to do. And I genuinely believe if restrictions take what is reasonable and what is fair to people's mental health, then there is a greater chance of people complying for longer. Which is clearly going to be needed.

www.gov.uk/government/publications/coronavirus-covid-19-meeting-with-others-safely-social-distancing/coronavirus-covid-19-meeting-with-others-safely-social-distancing

This is still on the Gov website, hasn't been updated. It's only the Daily Mail who says that the ban includes partners.
Tbh I think the Government know people will be seeing their partner anyway and so have deliberately been vague.

@RainbowParadise
There is a need to bring single parents into it because the current flawed system is way too generous towards them to the extent that it is pissing others off and will be a factor in non-compliance. It makes absolutely no sense to allow single parents both a support bubble and an informal childcare bubble (as well as the children also being able to spend time with the other parent). Clearly those taking advantage of a support bubble shouldn't also be able to be in an informal childcare bubble and vice versa and should be expected to rely on the same household to provide both support and childcare.

@RainbowParadise
Well your attidues are why these wardens are going to Work.
Maybe we can recoup some of the furlough money with all the fines people will be paying....
How much is your shag worth?

[quote StatisticalSense]@RainbowParadise
There is a need to bring single parents into it because the current flawed system is way too generous towards them to the extent that it is pissing others off and will be a factor in non-compliance. It makes absolutely no sense to allow single parents both a support bubble and an informal childcare bubble (as well as the children also being able to spend time with the other parent). Clearly those taking advantage of a support bubble shouldn't also be able to be in an informal childcare bubble and vice versa and should be expected to rely on the same household to provide both support and childcare.[/quote]
Because of course, the other parent is always around to see the children too and take care of their DC.

Everyone's mental health matters in this. Equally. As well as the fact that of course there should be measures taken to protect people, slow the spread of the virus and protect the NHS. But there is a line as to what is acceptable and reasonable to ask people to do. As I said, making the rules ever more draconian probably only does more harm with regards to compliance anyway.

[quote SoloMummy]@RainbowParadise
Well your attidues are why these wardens are going to Work.
Maybe we can recoup some of the furlough money with all the fines people will be paying....
How much is your shag worth?[/quote]
Solomummy you are so incapable of balance or rationality I honestly wonder if you're for real or under a bridge somewhere.

Yeah, they'll be police and wardens waiting on every street corner, just waiting to catch people. Maybe they'll start with Boris and his violinist?

Meanwhile, in the real world...

Murano that depends on your current tier - London is tier 2 now. Also from Thursday new rules not yet drafted are likely to be in force.

How do you think military couples manage?

Not really the same though is it. Me and DH spent a long time apart when we were first married, but it was his job, he wasn't down the road. There is also a support network of other military partners and welfare, plus you can go out and about as normal to distract yourself, and there isn't all of the additional stress and loneliness. I spent a lot of time with friends and family, not an option at the moment.

@SoloMummy

Exactly what do you mean by you've had months to remedy the situation?

My DP has kids, has them 50% lives an hour away. I have kids. I actually don't WANT to move in with him. I have a lodger, so under couldn't form a bubble even if I wanted to.

But I want to see him. And it's not just about shagging either. We meet every 2/3 weeks sometimes don't even bother snagging. BECAUSE IT'S NOT ABOUT THAT!! It's about connection.

So fuck off.

@SoloMummy some people haven't been able to move in with a partner because their work situation is now too precarious to commit to rent and move out of their parents home. After all younger people have been worst hit by the increase in unemployment.

@Bambooble

How do you think military couples manage?

Not really the same though is it. Me and DH spent a long time apart when we were first married, but it was his job, he wasn't down the road. There is also a support network of other military partners and welfare, plus you can go out and about as normal to distract yourself, and there isn't all of the additional stress and loneliness. I spent a lot of time with friends and family, not an option at the moment.

I loved that as a comparison too, really shows the level of critical thinking around here lately.

Completely different when someone chooses to be in the military, or to be in a relationship with someone in the military. Cannot believe that needs pointing out.

@SoloMummy you think people are meeting up for a shag, rather than a hug and human companionship?

I highly doubt anyone is going to get caught and fined for seeing a partner, so its tough shit on you not them.

@Bambooble

Exactly. If you sign up for a long distance, separated relationship fair enough. Those of us LAT didn't sign up for this.

@RainbowParadise
It's not just the other parent though is it as they'd still be allowed either a support bubble or a childcare bubble just not both. It is not unreasonable to say that the household you choose to bubble with for childcare should also be the household in your support bubble.

Just take your partners to pagan gatherings in the woods under the full moon - these type of orgies are all the rage these days allegedly

Solo “ You've had months to remedy the situation and if you have not, then tough shit.”

Not everyone saw lockdown #2 coming. There’s no blame in that.

Also, why should anyone change their personal life based on government policy?!

[quote StatisticalSense]@RainbowParadise
It's not just the other parent though is it as they'd still be allowed either a support bubble or a childcare bubble just not both. It is not unreasonable to say that the household you choose to bubble with for childcare should also be the household in your support bubble.[/quote]
Ok but how common an occurrence is this even likely to be? Just seems another stick to beat single mums with tbh.

And I stand by my view that there are restrictions that are necessary and fair and reasonable, but there is a line to be drawn on what is not reasonable to ask people to do. And the more unreasonable, the sooner that more people will say to hell with it with lots of the rules. So it's counterproductive too.

[quote MaxNormal]@SoloMummy you think people are meeting up for a shag, rather than a hug and human companionship?

I highly doubt anyone is going to get caught and fined for seeing a partner, so its tough shit on you not them.[/quote]
Amen

[quote DollysFlop]@SoloMummy

Exactly what do you mean by you've had months to remedy the situation?

My DP has kids, has them 50% lives an hour away. I have kids. I actually don't WANT to move in with him. I have a lodger, so under couldn't form a bubble even if I wanted to.

But I want to see him. And it's not just about shagging either. We meet every 2/3 weeks sometimes don't even bother snagging. BECAUSE IT'S NOT ABOUT THAT!! It's about connection.

So fuck off. [/quote]
You didn't want to find an interim resolution. So abide by the rules.

That means no more contact than walks outside, from a distance.

You've made your bed. Now time to sleep in it then.

@Bambooble

How do you think military couples manage?

Not really the same though is it. Me and DH spent a long time apart when we were first married, but it was his job, he wasn't down the road. There is also a support network of other military partners and welfare, plus you can go out and about as normal to distract yourself, and there isn't all of the additional stress and loneliness. I spent a lot of time with friends and family, not an option at the moment.

Another military wife here, hate that term but Anyway it is very different as you do normally have the option of friends and family, hobbies etc as distraction. Unfortunately lots of military families haven’t been able to take advantage of the single adult household support bubble despite having partners away for long chunks of time. OH spent 6 weeks away during the last lockdown and I found it much harder than normal. As I wasn’t officially a single adult household couldn’t use the bubble. There was some disagreement among wives groups as to whether we could or not. It would be nice for some official guidance on it but you can’t account for every situation (though it isn’t uncommon for military families).

@SoloMummy

You really are a special kind of awful

People are having a laugh if they seriously think this crap is going to last 4 weeks!
We're going to have to live with this for years.
No one should be expected to keep their life on hold indefinitely.