✊Support thread for people who are exempt from wearing masks 😷

[ExemptFromMasksSupporter]

Hi everyone,

How about a support thread for people who are exempt from wearing masks/face coverings for whatever reason?

I am not exempt and I am able to wear a mask when required so I am lucky in that respect because I do not have to endure the abuse that some people who cannot wear a mask are enduring.

I have seen two threads today (I’m sure there are tons of others) where the OP’s are being lambasted for not being able to wear a mask.
On one thread the OP has a lung condition which causes her to cough sometimes and she wears a mask until it becomes unbearable and needs an inhaler. The OP is clearly exempt but is fed up with the comments she receives when she doesn’t try and wear a mask.
On another thread the OP has both asthma and has experienced horrific sexual abuse resulting in PTSD. Therefore she cannot cover her face in any way with anything (mask, visor, scarf, etc) because it is understandably triggering. Or should I say most reasonable people would find it understandable. The OP has a hidden exemption and is often a target because of this.

Yes, mask exempt people could decorate themselves with lanyards and signs or even go a step further and have a t-shirt made listing their full medical history. But why should they have to? Why can’t they be given the benefit of the doubt?

Where is the compassion in some people? Why can’t some people just accept that we are not all the same and have different experiences in life?
What one person can cope with another might not be able to, I thought that was just common sense.

In my mind it is quite simple, nobody has the right to verbally or physically abuse someone because they are not wearing a mask. Bullying is generally classed as unacceptable in most places, why is mask exemption met with such hostility by some people? I just don’t understand it.

The examples of bullying I have heard of tends to be towards people on their own that don’t look like a threat and not so much towards burly looking people who seem like they could handle themselves in a fight. Just saying.

Can’t we just be kind to each other, if we can’t be kind can’t we just have a little bit of tolerance and if neither of those are possible why not just say nothing and move on? Why the tuts and why the nasty comments by some people?

We are all living through such stressful times, this pandemic doesn’t have to be made any worse.

Well done if you have reached the end of my ramblings. Thank you for reading and stay safe and well everyone.

Thank you to all you have added your support over the early hours. I hope we have seen the last of the latest nasty poster/time waster with stupid questions.

@PhilCornwall1 - I am so sorry to hear of your awful experiences and the prejudice you have endured especially by the GP’s receptionist. I hope you have considered making a complaint, you should not be left feeling like you can’t even go there now. Nobody should be stuck at home because the unofficial mask police have made their lives a misery. It seems to be the latest way some people can get away with abusing others without fear of retribution.
I hope at some point in the future medical progress can be made in effectively treating your debilitating condition.
Sending you my support and best wishes.

@ExemptFromMasksSupporter

Thank you to all you have added your support over the early hours. I hope we have seen the last of the latest nasty poster/time waster with stupid questions.

@PhilCornwall1 - I am so sorry to hear of your awful experiences and the prejudice you have endured especially by the GP’s receptionist. I hope you have considered making a complaint, you should not be left feeling like you can’t even go there now. Nobody should be stuck at home because the unofficial mask police have made their lives a misery. It seems to be the latest way some people can get away with abusing others without fear of retribution.
I hope at some point in the future medical progress can be made in effectively treating your debilitating condition.
Sending you my support and best wishes.

Thank you. I made a complaint to the Practice Manager, who backed them up, by saying they had just been issued with new guidance about this. I've looked, but cannot find it, but can find all other guidance issued to GPs.

There was no apology from the manager whatsoever.

Philcornwall1 - That is shameful, I am sorry you have been treated so badly. I hope you have been able to register with another GP practice who hopefully treat their patients with some respect.

@ExemptFromMasksSupporter

Philcornwall1 - That is shameful, I am sorry you have been treated so badly. I hope you have been able to register with another GP practice who hopefully treat their patients with some respect.

No luck with another practice yet, none where I am seen to want to register new patients.

Gosh I come back and the thread has turned into a Swiss cheese. No doubt there was loads of 'helpful' unwanted advice here. I personally wear a mask. My ds cannot. I would not be taking advice from a bunch of mask extremists who think they know better, to force him into one.

I am truly saddened but not really surprised by some of these comments.

My sister has arthritis. She cannot physically put a mask on as she can't raise her arms to her face. For the same reason she can't put on a lanyard (nor sunglasses, a hat, headphones and the like).

She is not ill. Not vulnerable. She has young children. What do people expect her to do? Stay at home for the next year? Make the kids stay at home too? Not get their hair cut or take them to the GP or dentist?

It's pathetic that some people just can't accept that some people just cannot put on a mask.

[quote ThickAsFuckingMince]@DawnMumsnet

Thank you for posting. I know there will be so many deletions here it will be like Swiss cheese soon but I think it could be such a helpful thread (and thank you too @ExemptFromMasksSupporter for starting it) so I wanted to say I would prefer it not be taken down as sometimes happen when they kick off!

Also, will people with multiple deletions for being disablist/personal attacks be suspended or banned the way FWRers are if we are judged to break the guidelines? [/quote]
Morning,

Swiss Cheese indeed.

We've made 28 deletions on this thread so far (and have removed many other posts which quoted the deleted posts) - pretty shocking on a thread that's only 182 posts long.

We've no plans to take the thread down, don't worry - we'll just continue to moderate it to remove any posts which break our Talk Guidelines.

Can we just reiterate for anyone who missed our earlier post - this is a support thread for those who are exempt from wearing masks. For those who want to question exactly why people can't wear masks, please choose another thread - there are plenty!

'Also, will people with multiple deletions for being disablist/personal attacks be suspended or banned the way FWRers are if we are judged to break the guidelines?'

In a word, yes.

Obviously we don't comment on individual posters, but our guidelines state that we don't allow deliberately inflammatory behaviour. And we count repeatedly posting provocative viewpoints (sometimes in the guise of "genuine questions" ) on a thread that's been set up as a place of support as pretty inflammatory.

We hope that makes things clear. Please continue to report any posts which concern you.

Many thanks.

@PhilCornwall1

It's nice to see a support thread, but not a surprise to see some of the comments.

I certainly found the one where a poster asks where people are being challenged, as surely their illness exempting them means they don't go out.

I'm exempt because I have a condition called Trigeminal Neuralgia (the Suicide Disease) and anything that touches the right side of my face sets off an extremely painful attack, the pain is unlike anything I have ever known. Face shields won't work as that wraps around the top of your head, touching the temple, same thing happens.

I do wear a lanyard, but have been challenged/abused on many occasions, the last time almost getting physical. I've stopped going anywhere near shops now.

This whole mask challenging has got so bad, the receptionist at the GP surgery wouldn't let me in, as she (and I quote) "in her opinion considered I was a danger to the public", even though I have an email from the surgery saying it wouldn't be a problem for them. That was a missed important blood test and I'll never return to the place.

I would love to be able to wear a mask (not that I believe they are effective, but that's not the point) and I have tried, but within seconds was in agony. It would mean I could have as normal a life as possible, instead of pretty much withdrawing from life.

This whole situation is very nasty and it'll be a very long time before I ever consider trusting anyone again, not that I trusted many before.

Hiya Phil, didn't realise you had TN too Luckily for me, mine is one of those examples where things that work for one don't work for another, and wearing a mask actually helps prevent my TN attacks (usually cold air related)

Unfortunately, my asthma has a tendency to be triggered by warm air, so it's a thin line to tread!

The exemption list is like bloody bingo for me, as an asthmatic autistic lip reader with cPTSD! I'm lucky that I actually can wear one if I absolutely have to though (eg when I was in A&E, as I haven't been in a shop or similar since March) as I'm also ECV.

@BeyondsConstantBangingHeadache

Hello!

TN is a strange one for sure, it affects people in so many different ways.

I'm ECV too, as on top of TN, I've got severe Rheumatoid Arthritis and on biologic drugs, so they have classed me as ECV due to having a shot immune system and having had steroid treatment on top of the biologic.

It's been an interesting year!

Haha same here Phil - though mine is psoriatic arthritis but I'm also on biologics and steroids. Weird how frequently people have similar comorbidities, despite there being no official link :)

This thread is so depressing ☹️ just to say to anyone who can't wear a mask - you'll get no judgement from me.

@DawnMumsnet - Thank you for Swiss cheesing the thread, I hope it can get back on track now.
It’s good to know that inflammatory comments and multiple deletions can possibly lead to a ban for those type of poster’s.

@PhilCornwall1 I'm so sorry to hear about your experience. Your condition sounds incredibly difficult and painful for you and to be getting judgment like that because of it is just appalling. I despair. I'm sorry you've had to go through that.

I must admit that this whole thing has brought out an endemic ableism in the population, as someone ECV and shielding I have noticed it from early on but it seems as if it's somehow become ok to other and dehumanise the vulnerable in all number of ways. It's just sad.

And yes, ruby, I have tried to wear my mask indoors multiple times to get used it it. I still cannot manage it for very long. Is that ok with you?

I have tried wearing a mask and within 15 minutes it less feel a migraine coming on. I have migraines already about half the month so don’t fancy more (slightly controlled by various treatments but I’m still nauseous and disassociated about half the time).

This does not make me more vulnerable to infection, nor do I think it means I should stay indoors or lose my job (work has given me an exemption but I still get helpful colleagues telling me I “forgot” my mask or asking me about why I don’t wear one).

It’s nobody’s business why I don’t wear one. I don’t have to explain myself. Where I live the numbers of people who’ve tested positive are vanishing low, and for the most part strangers have been fine actually (bar the lady who turned her back to me in the supermarket while I chose a product, then she faced the shelves, and did jumping jacks till she was about 3 metres away).

Honestly I don’t understand some people’s thinking on masks. A local shop has a big sign up saying not to come in without a mask and while the staff wear masks and have a 3 metre wide plexiglass screen they asked me to wait at the Dutch door while they brought me my purchase and handed me the debit machine, then withdrew. How is that safer than letting me stand on the other side of a plexiglass screen? I don’t feel people are being terribly logical this year.

I don’t feel people are being terribly logical this year

I think that is the leitmotif of this entire crisis.

Hi all. I'm in a different situation to most PPs (although I haven't RFT, apologies) as I can wear face coverings sometimes, but not at other times, and not for extended periods of times. I'm autistic so it causes sensory issues for me and I also have an anxiety disorder. So in effect I can wear one for short periods of time ok - like 10 mins in a shop to get a few bits, nursery collection, - or a bit longer depending on the weather conditions - because this affects my sensory perception, e.g. I could do 30 minutes on a cool bus wearing contact lenses but not that long on a hot bus wearing glasses...that kind of thing. There is some truth in it for me through building tolerance through practice and working out which things make it easier to tolerate from a sensory perspective .e.g wearing contacts rather than glasses if I know I have to get the bus. But if my anxiety builds badly enough then I would have to take it off and the longer I have one on the more it builds etc. I find if I know I am going to be somewhere for a long time (e.g. more than 30 mins) I don't wear one because I feel I'm more likely to be challenged if I go in somewhere wearing one and then take it off later than if I don't wear one at all. Apart from hospital/GP/dental appointments as the medical staff know my issues and I'm happy to explain them to them. But obviously don't want to have to explain my medical history to museum volunteers for example. I know some people will think that means I shouldn't go anywhere where I can't wear a mask long enough but I don't think that's fair either, to me or my toddler DD. And in fairness I've been to the museum twice and art gallery once. The only other time I don't wear a mask, apart from having to temporarily remove it during a GP and hospital appt, is my driving lessons. It does mean that I don't go leisure shopping at all anymore, I no longer volunteer to go on the office rota (as would need to get a 45 min busy bus there and back), and I haven't taken DD to soft play. And I certainly wouldnt go anywhere without wearing a mask without DH as I feel 'safe' with him but I would be too anxious of abuse alone.

Another shop worker here. I really appreciate the lanyards and all the staff in our store are supportive of those unable to wear a mask for whatever reason.

The lanyard is a great visual for us to tell the difference between those who forgot/refuse and those who are unable to, so thank you to everyone who uses them.

I live in Canada and haven’t seen any lanyards or heard of them here. The only shop that seemed very set on masks is the one I mentioned, otherwise shop staff just let us get on with buying things. I’ve got to say I think it’s unfair to ask retail staff to police the ever-evolving rules around this when there’s so much emotion surrounding it.

It's not just about policing the law, though, for retail workers. Its about having to go into an environment where we are in contact with a lot of people. When people choose not to wear a mask, they are making my job more dangerous, as well as increasing the risk for other customers who can't wear a mask. Several of my colleagues are clinically vulnerable or extremely clinically vulnerable, and several more are carers for people with very serious health conditions. So policing mask-wearing isn't so much about being a jobsworth as about not wanting my colleague and friend to be widowed.

Adding my support to all of you who have experienced prejudice, hostility and downright abuse because you can't wear a mask. I hope all the perpetrators live to see a day they feel thoroughly ashamed of themselves.

I wear one and it causes me moderate distress, so I'm probably not exempt because I can do it for 15 minutes or so but I'm in a bad state by the time I get out of the shop/whatever. I feel rising panic/desperation and I start to hold my breath followed by hyperventilating, I can't help this, I've honestly tried. After about 10 minutes I can't concentrate on what I'm supposed to be doing, I feel so panicked. It takes me a good few minutes to recover once I get outside, my heart's racing. But I don't have any diagnosis of anything or any past trauma, so mostly I avoid the situation if I can and put myself through this shit if I can't.

I'm in awe of people who can walk around with cloth over their nose and mouth completely calmly, although it seems most people can!

Thought I'd post my situation to further educate the pork about exemptions & hidden disabilities. I get chronic vertigo (cheers menopause), add a mask to the mix & I'm flat on my face. Never been a fainter before so it was a complete shock when it started happening. Visors make it worse due to visual distortion & the strip lights in shops. However, because I'm obviously so very bloody angry all the time (thanks again menopause) I've never been challenged. I wear a lanyard to protect other people from myself because I think I'd quite literally go for the throat if anyone dared say anything to me. So, challengers beware. Not everyone you try vertue signalling to will be timid or reasonable.

@GarlicMonkey I had vertigo with the menopause and can imagine how awful that would be in a mask! Someone suggested I try travel sickness tablets for the vertigo and they made a huge difference. Might be worth you looking into that - not to help with mask wearing, just to see if it helps generally.

So, challengers beware. Not everyone you try vertue signalling to will be timid or reasonable.

I'd agree with this. The time when it almost got to a punch up, I wouldn't have panicked about, as I know I could have stopped them in their tracks quickly and was more than prepared to, but it's all the hassle that goes with it afterwards I don't need.

I know the face visors are relatively useless scientifically speaking but wearing one of those would probably stop most judgmental people casting glares or worse and wouldn't interfere with breathing. Just a thought sorry to hear of all the aggro and criticism it seems top provoke in some.

@vera99

I know the face visors are relatively useless scientifically speaking but wearing one of those would probably stop most judgmental people casting glares or worse and wouldn't interfere with breathing. Just a thought sorry to hear of all the aggro and criticism it seems top provoke in some.

Sadly, I can't even put them on.