Rule breakers- do you not worry about passing the virus to older relatives?

[Chaotic45]

I see more and more mumsnet posts and comments IRL from people sick of the rules, and saying that they will not be following them.

Lots of people are saying they will visit their parents and grandparents even where this means breaking a rule or law.

I do understand why they feel like this. It's not my approach, but I accept that we do all have the right to make our own choices.

What I don't understand though, is why these people are not afraid of unwittingly passing Covid to their relatives? DH and I are extremely careful, but DS is 14 and in a bubble of 200+ kids in his school year. There is no social distancing within his bubble, so we are effectively in a bubble with 200+ families and completely at the mercy of their choices and their luck or bad luck in catching and passing on the virus.

So if I choose to see relatives, especially indoors I feel I do have a risk of passing Covid onto them and arguably being the cause of them becoming extremely unwell or even dying. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself for this.

Do those breaking the rules not worry about this?

And that's fine so long as distancing is followed

It is.

There's no need for her to be alone and not visited. Simply follow the guidelines while you're there and ask her to do the same

We are. Never said otherwise.

I find it so odd that when it comes to covid some people are so scared about possibly passing the virus on to others. Yes, it’s possible, but I don’t think anyone’s ever had sleepless nights or restricted living their live due to fear about passing the flu on to someone. Yet flu regularly kills thousands of people. Why should we attribute this individualistic blame mentality to Covid (“don’t kill granny...”) when we don’t to other viruses.

Do these people denying themselves spending time with relatives and friends also never drive a car (air pollution contribute to asthma which can be deadly). Or never eat meat or travel by plane (climate change is predicted to kill millions directly or indirectly over the coming decades).

I guess what I’m trying to say is - why is Covid different? Yes it’s scarier due to its newness - scientists are still learning about It and there’s no vaccine yet - but why so many people willing to restrict their lives to drastically due to covid in a way they’d never agree to in relation to eg climate change?

I have told older relatives recovering from illness to stay away from my sickly kids.

In one case I never did see someone again. But we couldn't have foreseen that and the circumstances just was too risky.

I've always felt rather responsible.

I also try to never send my kids into school sick.

This is all I think about. You think covid is scary? You ain’t seen nothing in terms of global warming implications. Humans are so bloody stupid

Whatever.

@Clytemnestra2

I find it so odd that when it comes to covid some people are so scared about possibly passing the virus on to others. Yes, it’s possible, but I don’t think anyone’s ever had sleepless nights or restricted living their live due to fear about passing the flu on to someone. Yet flu regularly kills thousands of people. Why should we attribute this individualistic blame mentality to Covid (“don’t kill granny...”) when we don’t to other viruses.

Do these people denying themselves spending time with relatives and friends also never drive a car (air pollution contribute to asthma which can be deadly). Or never eat meat or travel by plane (climate change is predicted to kill millions directly or indirectly over the coming decades).

I guess what I’m trying to say is - why is Covid different? Yes it’s scarier due to its newness - scientists are still learning about It and there’s no vaccine yet - but why so many people willing to restrict their lives to drastically due to covid in a way they’d never agree to in relation to eg climate change?

Completely agree.

It's all about control.

On paper Covid is no worse than any of those things. These accusations of "selfishness" usually come from people who don't care about selfishness in other areas of life. "Selfish" has become a synonym for "people who care about things other than Covid".

I am done with it.

I honestly don't understand why we are expected to care so much more about covid deaths than any other death that occurs in the world.

Where was everybody emoting about the 50 000 flu deaths in 2017? The global child mortality deaths due to poverty?

I don't understand the accusations of selfishness.

DH's nana is vulnerable, she doesn't want to see anyone and is isolating again, that is entirely her decision she is a grown woman with her own mind and perfectly capable of making her own choices. On the other hand my grandfather is very vulnerable, he's still going to work, still shopping and has asked that we still see him so he can see DS. He knows the risks, I've told him the risks and relayed that he could die from catching this. He told me he could die anytime and he's not going without his family as that would kill him quicker than any virus. He's an grown man who can make his own decisions and I will support either choice.

It’s a difficult balancing act - my elderly mum died suddenly not long ago - she wasn’t a happy person in many ways but Covid and her absolute paranoia didn’t help . We’d seen her once since Christmas . I’m left now with a very frail father who dreads catching Covid - he is positive he wouldn’t survive . In reality though I don’t want to not see him as I’m not sure he has long left anyway - I’d rather he has happy times in his last months ( hopefully years) than loneliness . If I or the kids are unlucky enough to infect him I’m just going to have to live with that. Before my mum died I thought it was best to do what my mum wanted and stay away - it turns out she didn’t have time on her side