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Original poster

Do you really think we're all in this together re Covid, or is your main priority yourself and your family?

143 replies

Marcellemouse · 07/10/2020 15:41

I keep hearing we're in this together etc. However, my family are not vulnerable to CV and are one of those families who were not eligible for any government funding. My DC are also in vital years educationally. I am not remotely concerned about catching CV. I have compiled with all the rules but quite frankly now I'm absolutely sick of this. To the vast majority CV is a mild illness, I appreciate there are many people susceptible to this but they are not my concern just as I am not theirs. The final straw was finding out the average age of death from CV is 82. The thought of this continuing for another year or two is sending me over the edge.

OP posts:
IcedPurple · 07/10/2020 19:31

If my family came first I would be planning an 18th birthday party for DS. He absolutely loves a party, and has always intended to invite everyone he's ever met. It would be best for DS, but not best for everyone, so it won't happen.

I'm not sure how abiding by the law means that your family doesn't come first.

Tootsey11 · 07/10/2020 19:34

Why don't people get it? Yes our main concern is for ourselves and our families. BUT, if we are going to get this over and done with quickly, then we need to work together. Why don't some people understand this.

NRatched · 07/10/2020 19:41

Surely the huge majority (if not all) people prioritize due to their own circumstances. Regardless of how they may claim otherwise.

This doesn't mean do not think of others. But my personal focus puts my families life above that of a random stranger. And I would expect the same for the random persons family to say about mine!

IronLawOfGeometricProgression · 07/10/2020 19:47

The thing about this virus is we are all in it together. Everyone's actions have the potential to help the situation or make it worse. And I'll always be on the side of the angels.

I do what I can cheerfully , for my country and everyone in it. Which benefits my family.

Shutting millions of people away indefinitely because we're too lazy to do what's necessary is not my thing AT ALL. Shock

SecretSpAD · 07/10/2020 19:47

My priority is my dad. He's nearly 80 and so high risk by virtue of that. He cannot get this virus and so the entire family are making sure that his risk is reduced as much as possible. As we live on his estate, my family are the ones he has bubbled with and we have the youngest kids (albeit teenagers). The kids are at school/college but take all the precautions they can because their grandfather is one of the most important people in their lives. They have said that should infections rise in our little part of Cornwall they will want to stop going to school. We support them because losing their grandfather is more damaging to their mental health than not going to school.

We both work from home and are comfortable financially, but we live in an area reliant on tourism and hospitality. As a community we need pubs and restaurants to stay open and their staff to stay in work because for many people that is their only hope of income - we don't have much down here in the way of other industries.

To me, the selfish people are those who say schools should stay open at the cost of other members of society - the single people who struggled with loneliness during lockdown, the staff who rely on the NMW to feed their families, the elderly and vulnerable people in our society who are as entitled to a full and rich life as much as a 20 year old.

MaxNormal · 07/10/2020 19:47

BUT, if we are going to get this over and done with quickly, then we need to work together

And what good does that do? We "work together" (with some comfortably working from home on a full salary, while others are out there at risk for minimum wage and many others have lost their jobs, not very together), infections go down, open back up again, infections go back up.
Pointless.

SqidgeBum · 07/10/2020 19:47

I have gotten to the point of becoming numb to it all.

I follow the 'rules' in the sense of I wear a mask, I tend not to see more than 6 people simply because I have baby playdates where its just me, DD, and another mum and her one or two kids. I dont go to parties because .... well .... I have kids. If I had a cough, I would get tested.

However, I have gotten to the point of not caring about anything else. Its going to run its course no matter what. I see all the 'restrictions' as pointless flapping TBH. Its a virus. We cant beat it or eliminate it. We can only learn to live with it. So I am simply going to wait until that realisation dawns on everyone.

If they tell us to sit in our sitting room again going slowly insane trying to stimulate our toddlers for an endless time, not see family or friends, and basically waste our lives away, all for the 'greater good', I simply will not do it. People may hate me for that, but if we allow this lockdown rubbish to become a regular thing, then we will be doing it every 3 months for the next 2+ years.

IronLawOfGeometricProgression · 07/10/2020 19:48

@Tootsey11

Why don't people get it? Yes our main concern is for ourselves and our families. BUT, if we are going to get this over and done with quickly, then we need to work together. Why don't some people understand this.
You put that so much better than me! Smile
ChodeOfChodeBall · 07/10/2020 19:52

If they tell us to sit in our sitting room again going slowly insane trying to stimulate our toddlers for an endless time, not see family or friends, and basically waste our lives away, all for the 'greater good', I simply will not do it

Neither will I, and neither will my teenagers (who were more compliant with lockdown than I was - and who gained absolutely nothing as a result).

Bollss · 07/10/2020 19:57

@IronLawOfGeometricProgression

The thing about this virus is we are all in it together. Everyone's actions have the potential to help the situation or make it worse. And I'll always be on the side of the angels.

I do what I can cheerfully , for my country and everyone in it. Which benefits my family.

Shutting millions of people away indefinitely because we're too lazy to do what's necessary is not my thing AT ALL. Shock

Were not all in it together and you've just illustrated that with your "lazy" comment. Have you ever considered people can't do the right thing because they can't afford it? Because they rely on family for childcare for example, because if they don't work they don't eat??

We're not all in it together at all.

3littlewords · 07/10/2020 20:01

I'm confused here who wouldn't put their own family first before strangers Confused

Original poster
Marcellemouse · 07/10/2020 20:16

@Tootsey11
Why don't people get it? Yes our main concern is for ourselves and our families. BUT, if we are going to get this over and done with quickly, then we need to work together. Why don't some people understand this
We're not going to get this over and done with quickly by following the rules. We'll get the numbers down for a bit, start to go out again and the numbers will go back up again...repeat. In the meantime thousands will have lost their livelihoods, education will suffer massively, and so on.

OP posts:
ChodeOfChodeBall · 07/10/2020 20:18

[quote Marcellemouse]@Tootsey11
Why don't people get it? Yes our main concern is for ourselves and our families. BUT, if we are going to get this over and done with quickly, then we need to work together. Why don't some people understand this
We're not going to get this over and done with quickly by following the rules. We'll get the numbers down for a bit, start to go out again and the numbers will go back up again...repeat. In the meantime thousands will have lost their livelihoods, education will suffer massively, and so on.[/quote]
Spot on.

Triangularbubble · 07/10/2020 20:19

I put my children first, in that if there was a speeding bus heading towards my child and a random member of the public, I would absolutely push my child out the way first. I would willingly do a lot of things to directly protect my child that I wouldn’t necessarily do altruistically for anyone else - donating an organ, go into poverty, whatever.

But this isn’t that kind of situation, and since I am not a medic, teacher, farmer, national grid worker and about a hundred other key roles rolled into one I am as reliant on those members of society to keep working as they are on me to wear a mask or whatever. I don’t think in the long term killing off or disabling a percentage of all the medics, teachers, sewage farm workers, lorry drivers etc would actually serve my family terribly well. I want my kids in school, if the price of that is that we restrict our other activities then so be it. If we occasionally have to isolate we will just cope, it won’t be fun but it’s not the end of the world.

Easy for me to say though, I don’t voluntarily hug anyone not in my household anyway, I’m as happy talking to someone on the phone as in person, we have a decent home and garden and for now we’re financially secure. To me the socialising restrictions are no big deal, to someone else they are.

MynamarisBurma · 07/10/2020 20:21

and the one bit you conveniently forgot ... hundred will loose their lives !!

MynamarisBurma · 07/10/2020 20:22

That was tonChodeofchodebhall

HeIenaDove · 07/10/2020 20:23

@IronLawOfGeometricProgression Tell that to the local homeless woman who had to pick up and use a discarded mask off the floor so she could access food and medication.

yellowmaoampinball · 07/10/2020 20:24

I don't actually feel a massive conflict between the 2. I don't feel, as a family, we're making massive sacrifices for the greater good. We wear our masks when in shops etc, we are in a lockdown area so we're not mixing households or anything which is a bummer but hardly life ruining for us in the short term. We're hardly in the trenches fighting for Queen and country.

ChodeOfChodeBall · 07/10/2020 20:25

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trilbydoll · 07/10/2020 20:28

Like a PP said my absolute priority is the kids stay in school so while I don't really care what anyone else does or if they all want to have covid parties, I do want infection rates to stay low enough to avoid future lockdowns.

Whether I think lockdown is a proportional response or not isn't the point, that's what will happen so I need to do my bit to not contribute to infections.

rookiemere · 07/10/2020 20:31

It's very easy to define other people as selfish. I will not apologise for prioritising the education and physical well being of my teenage DS as nobody else was.

There are very few completely altruistic people out there. I'm in awe of care home workers - mostly on very low wages - who chose to leave their families and live in the care homes.

The rest of us - meh- we may think we're more worthy but usually that's because following the rules gives us the best outcome.

MynamarisBurma · 07/10/2020 20:31

70 people died today of Covid. That's only the ones that died in the last 28 days..

You get Covid, takes a week .. you feel better than worse.. then in hospital , then 3 weeks later you die..

If this was the way they were counting in April then my 42!yr old , wfh neighbour. Who only went to pick up from nursery and to do weekly shop in low risk area would now be at home with her 12 and 8 year old .. instead in a grave in the village church yard. Because she wouldn't be 'dead' ... only she is DEAD and her DH and kids are still poleaxed with grief.

I have absolutely no tolerance for the ' let's get on with it, my kids, family, hamster need a life' .. get a fucking grip and don't wait for someone else to tell you that a deadly virus to some is FUCKING deadly .. as in DEAD !!

Waxonwaxoff0 · 07/10/2020 20:44

@MynamarisBurma and I have no tolerance for people who see things in such black and white terms.

It's not about frivolous things for me, it's about me keeping my job and home, keeping my DS in school and a roof over his head.

IronLawOfGeometricProgression · 07/10/2020 20:45

[quote HeIenaDove]@IronLawOfGeometricProgression Tell that to the local homeless woman who had to pick up and use a discarded mask off the floor so she could access food and medication.[/quote]
What do you mean?

ChodeOfChodeBall · 07/10/2020 20:45

Your post was worth reading until you mentioned hamsters, @MynamarisBurma I'm afraid you shot yourself in the foot at that point.

How would you account for the family I know who are "poleaxed with grief" because their son took his own life as a direct result of lockdown?

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