Do you really think we're all in this together re Covid, or is your main priority yourself and your family?

[Marcellemouse]

I keep hearing we're in this together etc. However, my family are not vulnerable to CV and are one of those families who were not eligible for any government funding. My DC are also in vital years educationally. I am not remotely concerned about catching CV. I have compiled with all the rules but quite frankly now I'm absolutely sick of this. To the vast majority CV is a mild illness, I appreciate there are many people susceptible to this but they are not my concern just as I am not theirs. The final straw was finding out the average age of death from CV is 82. The thought of this continuing for another year or two is sending me over the edge.

Both. My family is my priority but I know what it’s like to lose someone so will comply with all the guidelines and rules to do our part in hoping others don’t lose those close to them.

I also want my children to see the big picture and not just think about themselves and act selfishly.

I put my family first in that I won’t take part in any Eat Out initiative or take a chance on going to the cinema or pub to help boost the economy. If it’s not outdoors with few people around or deliverable to my house then I’m not engaging with it.

I wear a mask when required, because it’s important to me that I do all I can to ensure that someone else’s family doesn’t have their health or lives put at risk.

There are circles.

Circle 1 is me and my boys, Circles 2 is wider family and close friends, Circle 3 expands again and eventually you just hit "everybody".

Right now protecting them all involves the exact same thing; trying to stick to the rules and cutting social interactions because I believe the results of letting this rip through the population would eventually impact everyone. If you have a large amount of the population sick at once it doesn't matter if they get better, no-one runs an excess workforce that could cope with that.

I also protect my family (run a pantry), protect my wider family (keep a few extra jars of coffee in for my aunt who I know won't think of it because I know she can't cope without coffee, keep internet orders to supermarkets running for my elderly in-laws) and try to help on a population level (regular foodbank orders). If the situation steps up (we're in the NE, another lockdown beckons) I'd be putting my family first certainly but last time there were supermarket shortages I managed to help a few neighbours and unless it put us in trouble I would do that again.

My stopping point is stuff that puts us at risk. So, I'll help out my aunt by dropping stuff off outside her house if needed but much though she'd like me to ignore the rules and take my boys for a visit inside I won't.

Good enough?

I like to think both because what impacts society as a whole will in turn impact my family. My priorities are that my DC can remain in school, that DH & I continue to work and keep a roof over our heads and that friends and family stay well and healthy. Pubs, restaurants, socialising are are not a priority so will be avoiding them for the time being.

My family is my priority. But I dont live in a vacuum so the best way to protect my family is to protect society as much as possible (including a jobs as well as health)

I appreciate there are many people susceptible to this but they are not my concern just as I am not theirs.

I struggle with this way of thinking as it's not what I was brought up to believe. I was taught that we have to do what's right for everyone, not just for ourselves. A bit like paying taxes so people who can't afford healthcare and education don't suffer. I'm very uncomfortable with the "other people aren't my concern" attitude.

@LynetteScavo

I appreciate there are many people susceptible to this but they are not my concern just as I am not theirs.

I struggle with this way of thinking as it's not what I was brought up to believe. I was taught that we have to do what's right for everyone, not just for ourselves. A bit like paying taxes so people who can't afford healthcare and education don't suffer. I'm very uncomfortable with the "other people aren't my concern" attitude.

Other people are a concern. But much less of a concern than one's own family.

And it's all very well to say "we have to do what's right for everyone, not just for ourselves" but most people are not prepared to make major sacrifices, or ask those closest to them to do so, to help those they will never meet.

We are a vulnerable shielding family due to poor health.

I feel we've been abandoned. School are back and very unsafe environments for the spread of covid, yet to keep children off school is to be fined and threatened.

On one hand the extremely vulnerable are told to stay away from people, always wear a mask, not to enter shops or public places, not to meet family indoors. And yet we are told to send our teenage children in on crowded school buses, no ventilation, no masks. Into schools with no social distancing, poor ventilation and clear spread of Covid.
Only one in ten Teenagers display symptoms meaning the virus could be brought into our home at any point.

How is this safe? And why aren't parents who are highly vulnerable given a choice to temporarily have school at home without losing their child's school place?
To have to give up school places discriminates against the vulnerable when healthy people can continue to send children into school at no cost to themselves.

And why I'm on a rant, why is Ofsted insisting on attendance at 98% during a pandemic? Surely this should be suspended so children can isolate easily without fear of reprisals.

I'm now out to protect myself as the government clearly don't have a clue.

My family is my priority, but a large part of that is following the rules.

However, we have been lucky so far in that we haven’t faced some of the awful situations other people have had to deal with. Jobs are fine to do from home and we don’t have elderly relatives in very vulnerable circumstances or in nursing homes.

I've always been very concerned about the wider spread of the illness, and my children (teens) feel the same way. Although occasionally frustrated, they understand that it's for the common good.

@amusedtodeath1

Following the rules IS doing what's best for my family, your family, the economy, health care, etc,etc. But you know all this, it's been explained over and over on here.

What following the rules made by this government? Or who? I can't imagine having such blind faith in the government.

Maybe the government rules suit me and my family.I keep saying to one relative; everyone has to do what's right for them, but that's because they refuse to leave their house and don't need to shield. Staying at home is right for them, but other relatives really want to see them. There have been no Covid rules that impact on us so much that we can't cope. I we suffered a bereavement I think I would throwable rules out of the window, but would then self isolate for two weeks.

If my family came first I would be planning an 18th birthday party for DS. He absolutely loves a party, and has always intended to invite everyone he's ever met. It would be best for DS, but not best for everyone, so it won't happen.

@LynetteScavo

Poor lad - I hope he has a great day & gets a fabulous 21st with ab-solutely everyone there!!

It seems the vulnerable people feel unsupported but I think many people who aren't vulnerable feel unsupported too. I feel all the emphasis has been on protecting the vulnerable and sod everyone else so it's interesting to hear they feel like this too. Sounds like no one's happy.

[quote herecomesthsun]@LynetteScavo

Poor lad - I hope he has a great day & gets a fabulous 21st with ab-solutely everyone there!![/quote]
Now you've posted you're invited too, in 2024!

That WILL mean that I won't be able to work and we will have no income. If that happens then I will stop complying with any of the rules.

We've lost our income, since finding out there will be no additional support and being called "non viable" I pretty much don't give a fuck either.
I'm not going around breaking them willfully for the sake of it but I wouldn't let a rule make my life harder any more, put it that way.

tbh I am just trying to keep a low profile & out of trouble.
covid made me realise I am an utter coward.

At the start of this, I did genuinely believe we were in this together. We followed the rules dutifully.

I think it was towards end of May that I started feeling differently. It was when I saw the death stats for covid from some helpful mumsnet thread. It was fairly obvious that the elderly are most at risk, therefore I thought they would prioritise reopening of places based on that.

Then the day the garden centres reopened in Scotland - outside play areas still shut - went for a wander and they were all queu

We are absolutely not 'all in this together'. Firstly, it is a lie, and a dangerous one at that, that Covid doesn't discriminate. It discriminates in the same way as many other illnesses do, ie mainly by age, and also (often interlinked) state of health, and of course, obesity. Secondly, the social implications of the lockdown are far greater for the worse-off.
You are brave to put your head above the parapet OP but in all honesty it would be very odd if we didn't put the lives of our family - especially our children - ahead of the lives of strangers.

Max yeah, that's pretty much how I'm feeling. If me and DS are going to be thrown under the bus and lose everything I worked for, my home that I worked so hard to buy as a single parent then why should I bother?

Oh whoops my thread didn't finish. It was too long anyway.
Basically DH and I will follow the rules but I let my DS 14 break them in clear conscience to play football with his pals.

OP, I couldn't agree more. I, too, am one of the people who has qualified for a big fat fuck all from the government, and can't claim benefits either. Two of my children were doing public exams this year, only they didn't.

When I hear people saying how loveleee lockdown was for them and how they re-evaluated their lives etc, I want to jump off a cliff.

@Waxonwaxoff0 I am so sorry, I hope things improve for you soon.

@Marcellemouse I'm happy.

Happiness is not a state of mind that you want to be dictated to you by factors outside of your control.

That doesn't mean I'm happy with the situation. Few are. I don't spend much time dwelling on whether this will last for years, improve soon, get worse etc. I just focus on the here and now, the immediate future.

Amongst other things, I think this virus has been a huge test on people's emotional wellbeing and mental health. It's a canary in the coalmine of other deeper issues.

No, we are not in this together and yes, my family comes first.

I will stick to the rules where possible... but honestly I don't care anymore.

Both DH and I are in the process of being made redundant as a direct result of Crona.
No help, no sympathy... nothing (especially from the government. All that we can look forward to is a reduction in benefits due to being mortgaged homeowners.) The future looks bleak, we will be on the bread line unless something changes dramatically...
Our situation is not unique, but nobody seems to want to know or even care!