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Original poster

Do you really think we're all in this together re Covid, or is your main priority yourself and your family?

143 replies

Marcellemouse · 07/10/2020 15:41

I keep hearing we're in this together etc. However, my family are not vulnerable to CV and are one of those families who were not eligible for any government funding. My DC are also in vital years educationally. I am not remotely concerned about catching CV. I have compiled with all the rules but quite frankly now I'm absolutely sick of this. To the vast majority CV is a mild illness, I appreciate there are many people susceptible to this but they are not my concern just as I am not theirs. The final straw was finding out the average age of death from CV is 82. The thought of this continuing for another year or two is sending me over the edge.

OP posts:
JKRowlingIsMyQueen · 07/10/2020 15:46

The latter, which is a perfectly human thing, despite the media trying to shame us into prioritizing everyone else instead of ourselves, our families and our mental health and wellbeing.

You can do that for a bit, but eventually people are gonna put themselves and their families first. It's like that scene in Spider-Man where he has to choose between saving Mary Jane or a bunch of strangers. The majority of people will choose their loved one over a bunch of strangers. It's human nature.

AbsentmindedWoman · 07/10/2020 15:52

We will all be affected by the knock on effects of mass sickness and economic consequences. But we're all coming from very different places, in terms of what our resources and vulnerabilities are.

So I guess in one way we are "all in this together" in the sense that nobody can avoid what is happening. The reality at individual grassroots level though just varies so wildly!

iVampire · 07/10/2020 15:52

I put myself and my family first by following the sodding rules

Because I don’t want their schools to close, if we need (non-Covid) medical treatment I want most/all of it to be open (without substantial risk of infection when already I’ll/injured). I want at much as possible to be at least partly open. And I want to be able to see people, even if it can’t be large gatherings and lots of hugs,

I don’t want to see millions of people told to stay indoors indefinitely with no human contact (what ‘shielding’ means in practice)

And to get that, we need to keep infection rates low.

If we don’t, it all comes tumbling down,

Forgetmenot157 · 07/10/2020 15:53

I mentioned this befor... That the average age of death from Covid is actually higher than the life expectancy of someone in the uk....

FourTeaFallOut · 07/10/2020 15:54

I'm ecv. I don't feel like we were all in it together since half of MN was consigning me to the back of the queue if I get coronavirus. I didn't feel like we're all in it together when I couldn't get delivery slots in March but perfectly healthy posters were bagging all the slots because they were in it for themselves. I didn't feel like we were all in it together when we were told we'd have to send our kids to school or deregister them and lose their school place. I didn't feel like we were all in it together when posters would say..."yeah but did they have pre -existing illnesses? They shouldn't go on the figures, that lot were going to die anyway", I didn't feel like we were all in it together when people keep saying we have to learn to live WITH it, when what they mean is let people die of it with minimal inconvenience.

So yeah, that ship has sailed.

amusedtodeath1 · 07/10/2020 15:59

Following the rules IS doing what's best for my family, your family, the economy, health care, etc,etc. But you know all this, it's been explained over and over on here.

IloveJKRowling · 07/10/2020 15:59

The latter can only be a short term strategy if it means ignoring doing things that will break transmission chains.

Because if everyone stops social distancing and mask wearing and limiting indoor crowded events, eventually cases will rise to the point where hospitals are overwhelmed and we'll be in lockdown again.

So not taking basic measures like social distancing and masks now is really short sighted and will result in a pretty dire situation for everyone. The closer people want to get to normal, the more they should SD, wear masks and meet up outside and with fewer people.

Even if you're 100% sure you'd recover from coronavirus fine, you can't guarantee you're not going to be run over by a bus / fall down the stairs and need medical care. In the case where the hospitals are overwhelmed with sick coronavirus patients, you are far less assured of a timely ambulance and care / timely cancer diagnosis and care. Even if you think doctors, nurses and ambulance staff should let the coronavirus cases all die at home, they won't, it's against medical ethics.

However, I do understand if people do their own risk assessments and don't necessarily stick to ridiculous rules (like the rule of 6 - there is not magically a higher risk of coronavirus transmission with 7 people socially distanced outside compared to 6. Indoors with 4 is probably riskier).

stayathomer · 07/10/2020 15:59

I dont know anymore, I've lost faith in human kind now really! I had covid and it's ruined my everything, am40 and was healthy but it feels like a long haul thing, still getting chest pains etc 2 months after 2nd test came back negative (1st obv was positive) and I cant move much faster than a normal walk. Saying that I cant imagine what it's like to lose your business etc and my kids are under 13 so I think I've relaxed my thinking and stopped being bitter and so tunnel visioned against people breaking regulations

nancy75 · 07/10/2020 16:01

I have followed every rule, not in an at risk group but keen to get back to normal life ASAP & would hate to spread it to older/vulnerable people.

Yesterday I found out about a woman that is 80, husband has a positive test result & woman is still going out and about. It has really made me question why we are following all the rules when the people we are trying to protect are totally ignoring them. Today I feel like saying fuck it, we’ll be fine & sod the old people (I won’t but I am very angry)

frozendaisy · 07/10/2020 16:02

Well our family of course is our immediate concern, but not wanting people, any people gasping for breath on an A&E floor is also a concern.

And also as an example to our growing children as I certainly don't want them growing up in a society of "I'm alright jacks" either.

If Covid-19 is rampant the schools won't be open. People will not spend money. This pandemic has illustrated how interlinked we all are, whether you care or not.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 07/10/2020 16:06

Of course everyone's priority is their family. Obviously I don't want people to needlessly die but my family come 100% first for me.

The different restrictions are always going to hack someone off. I'd rather schools close before any other restrictions. That would be unthinkable for others.

Randomword235 · 07/10/2020 16:06

I am prioritising my children and I am not ashamed about that one bit.
So they are going to school, they are doing their extracurricular activities.
Me and DH don't do much anyway and I don't want to go shopping or pubs or anything while masks and screens and distancing are a thing so I suppose even though I am prioritising my family I am doing the right things for the virus but for selfish reasons.

oldwhyno · 07/10/2020 16:10

Both. My main priority is my family (and I'm a fairly important part of it for them). But we are also "all in it together"

So we do our bit to reduce transmission by sticking to the guidelines, but we're also doing what we can for ourselves and each other, within those parameters, to get on and enjoy life.

Camomila · 07/10/2020 16:11

And also as an example to our growing children as I certainly don't want them growing up in a society of "I'm alright jacks" either.

I tried to explain this to DS1 (4.5) today as I took him for a coronavirus test, that we're all a community and sometimes we have to do things that are a bit unpleasant. (I'm not sure how much he understood tbh)

I try not to judge others for choosing differently to me, we're in a relatively privileged position (good mental health, DH wfh, not in local lock down)

IcedPurple · 07/10/2020 16:16

Everyone cares about themselves and their families much more than they care about anyone else. No matter how humanitarian or charitable they are. It's just human nature. There's a limit to how much you can expect people to sacrifice their loved ones' welfare to benefit that of complete strangers.

endlesscraziness · 07/10/2020 16:19

Don't forget that the average age is skewed because we filled care homes with patients not tested for COVID and no PPE. I expect the stats from now to Jan will be different

I think their rules are unrealistic. They need to bubble households so that people can still see others. Or as children under 15 are showing that they don't spread the virus, make children exempt

022828MAN · 07/10/2020 16:19

I'm with you OP.

NandosPeriometer · 07/10/2020 16:30

Of course we're not all in this together but I have 2 teens doing exams so I follow the rules in the hope that their education isn't disrupted too much this year. I also wear masks etc to make the lives of employees in shops easier while they are at work.

I will not and have not grassed up anyone breaking the Corona rules

Jrobhatch29 · 07/10/2020 16:47

@nancy75

I have followed every rule, not in an at risk group but keen to get back to normal life ASAP & would hate to spread it to older/vulnerable people.

Yesterday I found out about a woman that is 80, husband has a positive test result & woman is still going out and about. It has really made me question why we are following all the rules when the people we are trying to protect are totally ignoring them. Today I feel like saying fuck it, we’ll be fine & sod the old people (I won’t but I am very angry)

I know an elderly woman whose daughter has just tested positive. She's not isolating because "oh I was only with her half an hour I won't have it" Hmm
Waxonwaxoff0 · 07/10/2020 16:47

I'm happy to wear a mask and social distance as it doesn't really affect my life.

I will not be happy with a further lockdown involving schools and businesses closing. That WILL mean that I won't be able to work and we will have no income. If that happens then I will stop complying with any of the rules.

Figgygal · 07/10/2020 16:51

I’ve put my family first in that I don’t want any of us getting it so I follow all the rules/guidance/laws whatever you want to call them

Jrobhatch29 · 07/10/2020 16:51

@endlesscraziness

Don't forget that the average age is skewed because we filled care homes with patients not tested for COVID and no PPE. I expect the stats from now to Jan will be different

I think their rules are unrealistic. They need to bubble households so that people can still see others. Or as children under 15 are showing that they don't spread the virus, make children exempt

There are IFRs for age groups from numerous studies allover the world. It isnt suddenly going to start taking out a different age group.
movingonup20 · 07/10/2020 16:52

My attitude too. We are pretty much doing as we please (we don't have a high risk lifestyle) and I'm getting increasingly concerned for the sacrifices my DD's are making - will the government fund an extra year at university so they can do all the work they have missed???

FourTeaFallOut · 07/10/2020 16:57

What's the average age of hospital admission for covid?

FourTeaFallOut · 07/10/2020 16:59

The CDC say that New 40% of hospital admissions were aged between 20 and 46 but that seems very young and may be skewed for all sorts of reasons, do we have that information for here?

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