Sorry, but for me this is the opposite from heartwarming. It makes me feel more hopeless then ever

[JKRowlingIsMyQueen]

I'm referring to what's going on in this photo. We know the vast majority of young and healthy people are unaffected by the virus and that most of deaths were old people in care homes.

So with all these lockdowns, restrictions and ruining the economy we are prolonging their life, right? Only for them to spend the end of their life alone with no in person contact with their family and friends.

Elderly people should have a choice whether they want to hang out in the same room with their own spouse for gods sake. This is elder abuse imo.

Now drag me for being "selfish" all you want but this is not okay.

Completely agree. The human and social cost of this is going to be massive, worse than the virus itself.

I agree, it just makes me so glad my own elderly grandparent who was in a care home is no longer with us now.

No dragging from me. It's quite depressing.

Heartbreaking my parents are 74 and 72 and said keeping them away from my kids is worse than the virus

I do agree with you. Elder abuse seems the right description even if with the best of intentions

We can’t visit my children’s 99 year old great granny. Doubt she will still be alive by the time there is a vaccine.

I agree OP. The average length of stay in a care home is between 12-18 months. So a lot of residents will very likely have seen their last visitor. It’s heart breaking.
My aunt is very very ill. My uncle is refusing to allow her to go into a hospice as he knows he will probably never see her again. He’s struggling at home on his own instead.

This isn't heartwarming, it's heartbreaking. I completely agree.

Well you don’t know what the woman’s choice is, do you? She might, you know, want to live. And also, except in local lockdown areas, people can visit their relatives in care homes.

I think it is really sad, but what's the alternative for those individuals?

The virus is really very difficult to deal with, it wouldn't be better if all the people in care homes had in-person visitors though.

I don't think we are used to being so unable to respond to a problem

Oh that’s really sad. Surely there must be a way he could at least sit in the same room as her.

Seriously would you want to live like that, alone, no life, just waiting to die with no living beforehand? No thanks, at that age I would want to see my family before my time was up.

I agree op that this photo and situation is totally heart-breaking.

I also think we are between a rock and a hard place and that's the reality of this wretched virus.

It must be particularly awful when you were looking forward to having five years or more of (relatively) active life only to find yourself confined and isolated. The problem though imho with each individual potentially having a choice as to whom they visit and spend time with, is that other people are unavoidably implicated in that choice.

We have to make decisions based on what is best for society as a whole and many elderly people, however hard it is for them, understand that I think. (Well the ones I have spoken to do anyway. I have an Aunt and a Great Aunt - both with frailties and in their nineties - who are very stalwart in their attitude about this. )

@Alex50

I don't know. I am not that age, I assume opinions vary.

I dont know if it can be all personal choice, because the cost and logistical implications of each individual who catches covid are quite large, in the older age bracket. Plus if the care home has a contract to care - can they take risks?

There's a lot of ethical issues around covid, this virus is a complex problem, and we are a nation which seeks simple solutions.

@EmptyFrogBarrel

Well you don’t know what the woman’s choice is, do you? She might, you know, want to live. And also, except in local lockdown areas, people can visit their relatives in care homes.

You know that seeing your husband in the flesh is not a guarentee you will get infected by them? You know that even the older generation are not guarenteed a death sentence? Many older people survive covid just the same as anyone else. Maybe the woman does not have the capacity to understand why her husband is not allowed in to see her and is upset by this and her quality of life is now much reduced? But hey if she lives in confusion and sheer loneliness, without the comforting touch of her husband for another few months thats ok as long as she hasn't got bloody covid.

I’m seeing my granny this week, I’m pregnant and she is so excited! Nor will I deny her the opportunity to hold her new great grandchildren when baby is born.

Yep it's hideous, this is how I said goodbye to my grandmother, she died 10hrs later

Heartbreaking.

Oh yawnsvillex I'm really sorry for your loss, that's so sad.

MIL died earlier in the virus having had a positive test, and SIL was allowed to stay with her in the home for the last four days of her life.

I personally didn't think that was right, but obviously not my decision. SIL was fine.

That is brutal.

I agree that it's really sad. But surely it all comes down to context. My father is in his 70s and has a condition that puts him in an extremely vulnerable category but without the threat of Covid is generally fit and well. To keep him safe, both my parents have continued shielding (on advice from his specialist). Neighbours will have seen my extended family (including very young children) visiting them to take shopping and chatting through closed windows (we talk on speaker phone so we can hear easily). The DC have done little dances/shows etc for them.

It all seems really sad but we're doing it at their request in the hope that he can be kept safe and will be around to see the older DC graduate/start families etc and the youngest learn to talk/start school.

There is a proposal that one family member is classified as a care-workers, and therefore are entitled to a weekly Covid test as care-workers are. They could then visit that family member on a regular basis and be no more of a risk than a care-worker (probably less, as they'd be performing less personal tasks). This doesn't seem to have got anywhere so far, but it would stop heartbreaking cases like this, and one I heard of on Radio 4 a couple of days ago - there was a woman on a phone-in who hadn't seen her husband, who has severe dementia, since March. He wasn't in a position to get anything useful from video/phone.

I know a few elderly people who have had Covid. One died, but she was really ill and only had months to live anyway. Not saying that is OK, it's not but she wasn't a healthy pensioner. I also know 2 elderly people who have had Covid. One has dementia, tested positive and was OK, the other was in hospital and had oxygen, but was let out after a few weeks. She is now OK.

Just because you are old doesn't mean you are going to die if you catch Coronavirus.

This is cruel. That photo is why social distancing needs to be ditched and ditched now.