Sorry, but for me this is the opposite from heartwarming. It makes me feel more hopeless then ever

[JKRowlingIsMyQueen]

I'm referring to what's going on in this photo. We know the vast majority of young and healthy people are unaffected by the virus and that most of deaths were old people in care homes.

So with all these lockdowns, restrictions and ruining the economy we are prolonging their life, right? Only for them to spend the end of their life alone with no in person contact with their family and friends.

Elderly people should have a choice whether they want to hang out in the same room with their own spouse for gods sake. This is elder abuse imo.

Now drag me for being "selfish" all you want but this is not okay.

@Ceto

Does anyone now what sort of safeguarding arrangements are in place? Pre Covid, most homes allowed open visiting at any time not least as part of safeguarding arrangements against abuse. The current situation must be making life a whole lot easier for abusers.

Relying on visitors was always an insufficient safeguard. Lots of residents don't have family.

How about CCTV to be monitored remotely? I mean as an ongoing thing, including after the pandemic is over.

Not read the full thread but I agree OP.

Why can't people meet outside? Most care and nursing homes have outside space. Even in lockdown areas there should be an exemption for people in care homes to meet their loved ones outside.

How about CCTV to be monitored remotely? I mean as an ongoing thing, including after the pandemic is over.

This is such a hard one. Do you mean CCTV in the rooms? If so, I would have serious privacy concerns.

@PinkSparklyPussyCat
It's a difficult balancing act. I don't know the answer. All I know is I remember reading about several cases of serious abuse and neglect only coming to light after suspicious relatives hid cameras in their family member's room.
This was pre Covid.
I remember wondering at the time about residents without family.

@SheepandCow I know it is. I can only speak from the experience of my MIL but she would have been mortified knowing that someone was watching her being fed, cleaned, changed etc. It was hard enough for her having carers doing that as for the most part her mind was sharp, without CCTV as well.

I really don't know what the answer is though.

What's the alternative though - condemn them all to catch it and die?

It is a horrible situation where you can't win, you can only pick bad from worse.

Thing is though - all the measures taken :lockdown, shielding, stopping visits hasn’t stopped the 1/5 dying in care homes of covid. And who/what is to say that those deaths wouldn’t have occurred anyway. They are deaths WITH covid.

Why are you so obsessed

I’m more disgusted by your username than your repeated posts

Heartbreaking and sad like this whole mess

This is my 7yo visiting his 93yo Great Nanna at her care home. They cracked the window open a little so we could talk to her but now there's a local lockdown there so can only talk through a closed window. I never thought I'd say I was glad she has dementia but I think for her it's a blessing at the moment. 💔

I am eternally grateful that my father is dead. My mother is just dead depressed at not seeing the kids.

@Wordofwarning

Thing is though - all the measures taken :lockdown, shielding, stopping visits hasn’t stopped the 1/5 dying in care homes of covid. And who/what is to say that those deaths wouldn’t have occurred anyway. They are deaths WITH covid.

Just a suggestion. Perhaps we need to stop forcing care homes to spread the infection and kill vulnerable residents take Covid patients? Just a thought.

Something often overlooked is that care home staff are overrepresented in the under 65 age group Covid deaths.
Precautions are there (or should be) to protect them as well as the residents.

My mum was in a care home with dementia and died a week before lockdown. And I’m so glad we were with her when she passed. My dad saw her every day, it would have killed him and her not to see her. Her only joy in the end was seeing her family. This breaks my heart.

I visited my elderly grandparents the weekend before last.
My gran is 86 and was comfy with my coming over and us having lunch in her front room. She asked when I had to leave if she could hug me. I’m not going to deny an old lady who has lived alone for years that request. God knows she is old enough to decide for herself!
On the other hand, my other gran, who is 90, was happier with a socially distanced chat in her garden and an elbow bump!
People should be allowed to decide their own levels of risk, especially the elderly.

@SheepandCow I couldn’t agree more! We have purpose built hospitals sitting empty, endless cabin crew on standby to nurse (or did - and the majority of them are in the category that isn’t as affected) but the elderly covid patients have been sent to underfunded care homes with overworked often vulnerable staff who are underpaid and under trained and forced to move around the system.

We haven’t looked after our care homes, their residents or their staff. It’s appalling.

Please don’t get me wrong, I’m FURIOUS at how this is all panning out, it’s confusing enough for those with dementia and it’s frustrating for those who care for them if they can’t pacify them - add now familiar visits, no touching, nothing from those that love you and you don’t leave much.

The whole way the care home issue has been put forward is shocking - that minister has a lot to answer for.

This isn’t a cookie cutter situation but it has been given a cookie cutter answer. The shock of it all is that after 7 months of pandemic in this country, the govt stance on how to approach it hasn’t progressed .

I just don’t feel that those who are in care homes should be locked away from their families. There is often enough guilt I knowing you can’t continue to care for a family member at home, then not being able to have contact with them is heartbreaking for both sides.

That picture in the OP is so sad. What on Earth are we doing to people?

There was a Mum on Twitter whose teenage son has been seriously injured in a cycling accident and she was begging Nicola Sturgeon to be allowed to hold his hand in hospital. Where is the compassion and humanity that a desperate mum needs to beg the FM for this?

I agree completely with what you say @Wordofwarning

I know people are quite sick of me banging on about it across threads but the care home situation is just one of many reasons why I think we should've used our island advantage like Australia and New Zealand did. They nipped things in the bud.

I would bring my parent home.

It is heartbreaking but we're between a rock and hard place.... there is no right or wrong just what needs to be done.

The cost is not higher than human life as one person put it but it certainly is equatable.

@Celestine70

I would bring my parent home.

It really isn't always that easy

Same here my grandmother 99 in a care home had Covid and survived. I miss her terribly I am sure she would prefer a hug from her family 😔

@MadameBlobby my friends son tried to commit suicide and my friend wasn’t allowed to be with him in hospital or visit him after he was sectioned.
None of this is making sense it’s so sad

It is sad to see, however there are many thriving in care homes not just surviving. There is a lot of good practice which is always over shadowed by the care home bashers.

Not ideal for all but many homes have iPads and are engaging with family and friends, through FaceTime.

Care home staff are now tested weekly and residents are tested every 28 days, take reassurance from that.

Elderly who live alone at hone are the real forgotten ones, apart from there Dom care visits and family living far away, they are the real forgotten olds.

My mil went into a home in March. She has dementia and we did most of the caring. Since march we've seen her twice and she now doesn't know who we are.

We've tried WhatsApp video calls but she doesn't get it.