How can you do this to your children (and yourselves)?

[endoftheworldaoife]

It has been six months and it's now very clear that covid won't be doing away in our lifetimes. A vaccine won't eradicate it (just as a vaccine didn't eradicate flu).

Most of you seem to be willing to accept social distancing and masks for the foreseeable. And I don't get it. We are a tribal species. We literally die without contact and get sick without communication. Kids are learning arrange, stilted ways of being that will just worsen their digital reliance. OCD is being normalised. Dating will be neurotic and masked. Freshers won't make new loves or lifelong friends like we did. As for their working lives...

I wouldn't mind catching covid (indeed I'm sure we all will sooner or later) so can someone explain to me what on earth is happening in their heads to tip the balance? If it only affected us, I could understand (well, I couldn't but this feels like child abuse on a giant scale).

We aren't going to get a vaccine for ages. Heaven knows what our lunatic governments will come up with next.

I'm happy to lie low until the spring tbh. I had no social life before anyway. As long as my kids are safe at school I can plod on for a few more months, I WFH, go running run and I exercise in the garden.
I realise this is blindingly rude but it seems that extroverts are struggling with all this, whereas introverts are coping. We have to put up with a world set up for extroverts most of the time 🤷‍♀️.

'My children would rather grow up with a father than without one. It’s simple - follow the rules and and reduce the risk.'

My son's friend lost his mum to cancer last night. Her death was hastened by restrictions which affected her treatment. There are children losing their parents because of the rules.

the last 6 months ‘Protecting her’ have all been for Nothing anyway.

It's not just protecting her, it's protecting all the others in the care home too.

@Artesia a few months. What about a year? Two years? A decade? Two decades?

FFS OP stop being so OTT, be sensible for a short period of time and it will be over quickly. The issue is people haven't been sensible and following rules that has led to the recent increase. My DD understands that this is for a short period to protect the most vulnerable in society , she is not locked in the house but going out and keeping her distance and wearing a mask. She is happy to do that even if she is not close to anyone vulnerable. This is not forever.

@HottubbubblesX

I understand you. I think masks have ruined it for me. I don't want to take my kids out into such bizarre scenarios. Where adults are covering their faces. There are no smiles. I think It should be a choice.

I've not been in a shop since march. I've had food delivered. I really miss it. I used to take my kids to the shop for a treat or for essentials. It was a normal part of our lives. Popping to Asda to browse the clothes was also a normal part of our lives. Going to the garden center for food and to let the kids see the fish and things. All those things I've stopped doing. I have no desire to go to the cinema or anything because of the whole mask thing.

I think the queing system to take the kids into school is ridiculous too. Fair enough staggered times. My child's also now of school for two weeks because she has a cold and there are no tests available. She doesn't have any symptoms.

It's definitely depressing. It's made everyone judgmental.

I am dreading another six month of this. But what can we do. It's definitely making me feel completely unhappy. Even on my relationship. There's nothing left. We can't invest in anything really. We are also skint.

I know plenty are getting on with things again. I just can't quite push myself to do so.

You've chosen to live such a limited life; most of us are cracking on with as much normality as possible.

You can't really mope about how sad and bad things are, when you've restricted yourself far more than is required or advised.

I understand you. I think masks have ruined it for me. I don't want to take my kids out into such bizarre scenarios. Where adults are covering their faces. There are no smiles. I think It should be a choice
Why should you get the choice to make me ill, when I’m wearing a mask to protect you?
None of us like wearing them, some of us are just not as selfish

Agree with OP. Can't get into my reasons right now as pushed for time but just wanted to support the OP.

“I think masks have ruined it for me. I don't want to take my kids out into such bizarre scenarios. Where adults are covering their faces. There are no smiles. I think It should be a choice.”

Masks aren’t about protecting the wearer, it’s about stopping people spreading it to others. If you make a choice not to wear a mask you are making a choice to potentially spread the virus. If you want to take risks with your own health, go for it, but it shouldn’t be a choice to gamble with other people’s health.

This is why science needs to be better understood, there is little immunity to this virus so it spreads very quickly. Putting the moral argument aside re responsibility to others, if we allow this virus to run rampant then it will overwhelm systems.

Look at Marseille as an example. Their critical care beds are running low this week. Do you want to live somewhere where if you have a car crash etc there’s no hospital capacity?

It’s not exactly a hardship wearing a mask to lower viral doses etc.

I literally am exasperated by the ignorance 🤦🏽‍♀️

@Maryann1975

If I was frail and old, over my dead body would I have my children self sacrificing for me. Let me die! This, 100 times! I have had a bit of a row with my dm about it though. I have a dgm in a care home with dementia. We haven’t seen her for 6 months (one family member only, which isn’t us - One visit per week, in the garden, socially distanced. My dgm was all about family and spent her life trying to close the gap for the disadvantaged children, trying to make all children’s lives better. There is no way she would want this to be the way of life. And I am sure there is no way she would want the end of her life to be lived in the way it has. We may be prolonging her life, but the quality of her life, without her family around her... is that a life she really wants to be living? I love her dearly, I miss seeing her, but we have no idea how long this is going to go on for. If she were to die now, with out her family around her, the last 6 months ‘Protecting her’ have all been for Nothing anyway. I find it difficult to put my thoughts in to words and my dm twisted what I said completely. It has nothing to do with the love I have for my dgm. But everything g about her quality of life in her final months/years. I feel we have failed the young and the old.

That’s bloody awful Maryanne. I have a friend in a similar situation, she has a 11 year old son in a care home due to his severe disabilities and she wasn’t allowed to see him for six months. Only one family a week now so either her or her husband. Horrible situation and so unnecessary

I understand you. I think masks have ruined it for me. I don't want to take my kids out into such bizarre scenarios. Where adults are covering their faces. There are no smiles. I think It should be a choice

It is a choice. You wear a mask or you don't go into shops. You've chosen not to go into shops.

Op imo you are catastrophising.

It's early stages and I don't feel it so badly as you describe. It's not an anti social wasteland out there. I frequently have a wry comment with a stranger about something SD related.

The situation will improve.

I'm far more pissed off about the illogicality of much performative airport security tbh.

I tend to agree with you OP.

I guess the thing that made me moderately accept the first lockdown was that I didn’t want the nhs to be overwhelmed in case we needed to use it. No direct fear of covid but rather there being no beds available if we had a car crash for example.
It’s wearing thin for me though- especially the recent suggestions that London has low rates thanks to early herd immunity.

"My son's friend lost his mum to cancer last night. Her death was hastened by restrictions which affected her treatment. There are children losing their parents because of the rules"

That is regrettable, but do you really think this would have changed if the hospital's were bursting at the seams with dying older people, vulnerable people and probably thousands of middle aged people needing some supportive hospital treatment?

I can't understand how people think that relaxing restrictions will improve normal services. The NHS can barely cope with seasonal flu never mind a potential covid resurgance

@OnlyFoolsnMothers

I tend to agree with you OP.

I guess the thing that made me moderately accept the first lockdown was that I didn’t want the nhs to be overwhelmed in case we needed to use it. No direct fear of covid but rather there being no beds available if we had a car crash for example.
It’s wearing thin for me though- especially the recent suggestions that London has low rates thanks to early herd immunity.

Same here. Funny that London has herd immunity though ...

I think most people understand that it's about risk management, weighing up pros and cons. There's those who will stick to the rules religiously, those who will completely ignore them. Majority of people are somewhere in the middle.

@OnlyFoolsnMothers

I tend to agree with you OP.

I guess the thing that made me moderately accept the first lockdown was that I didn’t want the nhs to be overwhelmed in case we needed to use it. No direct fear of covid but rather there being no beds available if we had a car crash for example.
It’s wearing thin for me though- especially the recent suggestions that London has low rates thanks to early herd immunity.

How definite is this? Do you have a link? I’m in London and would welcome it if so.

“I understand you. I think masks have ruined it for me. I don't want to take my kids out into such bizarre scenarios. Where adults are covering their faces. There are no smiles. I think It should be a choice”

Children will accept it. They may find it strange at first, but they accept it mostly. They’re are plenty of children out in shops when I go. I take my own as they need to try on shoes and choose things. We buy a treat to eat when we get back home.
It’s just some changes but people can mostly get on with things.
As a pp said, stop limiting yourself.

OP I am wondering if think voices are coming from your TV telling you what to do? Other wise i would check the use by dates on you e-number foods or take a deep breath something has to help you to calm down

Just to clarify the ‘most people are dying are in the final stages of life’. Back in April when we had ITUs full of patients with covid, and the chance of coming off a ventilator was 30% most of these people were in their 50s/60s/70s. Most had ‘underlying health conditions’ which means they took medication regularly. Things like high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, angina which they would live with for decades to come. NOT end of life.
It’s only been 6 months and huge advances have been made already. If wearing a mask and not going to big gatherings is the price to avoid going back to the hell we went through in hospital in April then I’ll do it.

@endoftheworldaoife

But you will accept "the rule of six” and everything else that is about to be imposed. Don't get me wrong, I know some families are doing a lot better than others. I'd say a majority are willing to live with lifelong restrictions. Despite knowing what that means for the next generation.

I'd say a majority are willing to live with lifelong restrictions. Despite knowing what that means for the next generation.

You can adher to the guidelines and still have a good time, this summer we went camping most weekends, went hill walking in remote areas, went to several places we have never been to before, had more bbqs in the garden then we'd usually have and spent the summer exploring places well off the beaten track near where we live. Because doing things was harder and needed more creative thinking we found things we wouldn't normally have done and places we wouldn't normally have been to, all of which were very quiet with hardly a handful of other people. You just need to have a positive outlook and a determination to make it work for you and your children.

But you can take dc to parks etc. If I weighed up time I spend in supermarket v outside it’s tiny.

London doesn’t have herd immunity. Have you looked at seroprevalence in South America it hits over 70%. London was a fraction of this. Look at the current Zoe map for London etc 🤦🏽‍♀️

@OnlyFoolsnMothers

I tend to agree with you OP.

I guess the thing that made me moderately accept the first lockdown was that I didn’t want the nhs to be overwhelmed in case we needed to use it. No direct fear of covid but rather there being no beds available if we had a car crash for example.
It’s wearing thin for me though- especially the recent suggestions that London has low rates thanks to early herd immunity.

Rates are rising in London, so nah.

Also, 'early herd immunity' isn't a thing, especially in the space of 6 months.