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Original poster

Can we have 7 people at our house for DD’s birthday?

175 replies

Honeyhoneyy · 11/09/2020 13:36

I know technically we can’t, but DD is about to turn 7 and has invited 4 friends for dinner after school on her birthday. They are all in the same bubble at school. She has been really looking forward to it, as have her friends. The trouble is, including her younger sibling and me, that would bring the number to 7. I thought about asking a friend to have DD2 but she would be devastated to miss her sisters birthday tea so the only option I’m left with is for DD to uninvite someone which seems so cruel.

It’s frustrating because she is with these children all day Monday to Friday anyway. I would ensure the house is deep cleaned before hand and after. My husband is a soldier and the kids have just found out he’s deploying in a couple of weeks so he will miss DD’s birthday, and now this limit of 6 has really got DD down in the dumps. She really struggles when her dad is away so I really wanted to make her birthday as good as I possibly can for her.

I totally appreciate there are many far worse situations that other families are in just now and this is trivial in the grand scheme of things but I know to DD, it means a lot.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 11/09/2020 13:37

Theoretically, no

Juststopswimming · 11/09/2020 13:38

I definitely would in your shoes, provided all the parents are happy with it. This is the precise instance where the rules make no sense and I certainly plan to take this kind of approach.

I hope your dd has a great birthday!

PinkyBrain · 11/09/2020 13:40

Aren’t they under 11 so not counted? Or could you move the party to the garden and have it outdoors?

shinynewapple2020 · 11/09/2020 13:40

Yes I would still go ahead with this , just make sure parents don't gather at drop of and collection . You might find one of them is unable to come on the day anyway .

ellentree · 11/09/2020 13:40

I'd do something else with her sister or have half over one night and half another. We have had a similar issue so my husband and younger child are going out so she can have two more friends.

RedRumTheHorse · 11/09/2020 13:41

No unless you are in Scotland.

You would be able to have 4 if you are the only other person there apart from your daughter.

Ilikepasta · 11/09/2020 13:41

@PinkyBrain

Aren’t they under 11 so not counted? Or could you move the party to the garden and have it outdoors?
It's only in Scotland where under 12's are not counted.
littleblackno · 11/09/2020 13:41

I didnt think under 12's were counted in the numbers, so assuming you haven't got all their parents there then this should be fine.

Abraid2 · 11/09/2020 13:42

Move party to this weekend?

StatisticalSense · 11/09/2020 13:42

@PinkyBrain
Under 11s count as people in England and towards the household limit in Scotland so no it isn't permitted in either of those nations.

shinynewapple2020 · 11/09/2020 13:43

Pinky the under 11's rule is just in Wales, and they are subject to family bubbles . You are right that the garden makes things safer and is a sensible thing to do if the weather is OK but the 6 person rule is indoors and outdoors .

NerrSnerr · 11/09/2020 13:43

@PinkyBrain it doesn't matter about age or whether it's inside or outside. It's now 6 people.

OP it's up to you of course but it is illegal so if someone found out you could be fined. I would contact all the parents to let them know there'll be 7 people so they can decide if they're happy sending them.

LizzieSiddal · 11/09/2020 13:43

I’m usually a stickler for rules but as Scotland and Wales don’t count dc Under 12, I don’t why us in England can’t do the same!

wherestheotherone · 11/09/2020 13:43

Well you can but it's illegal.

Jenasaurus · 11/09/2020 13:43

What about if you organise a day out for your 2 DDS as well so that younger one is happier to go somewhere else on the party day, I dont normally agree with bribes but in this case it may be worth it. Also at birthday partys depending on the age difference between the siblings it can be easier if the birthday girl can play with her own age group for the one day. I am sorry as its hard but there will be so many people in a similar situation that if everyone made an exception there wouldnt be any point to the rule. I am impacted myself as I am single but my family of 3 grown up DC and their partners mean we can never meet up at the same time. This weekend is my sons birthday and we were all going to see him, there would be 7 but as its before the Monday deadline we are OK (having said that my other sons partner has just said she cant go so it will actually be 6 of us) we are going to have the same issue at Christmas if the rule is still in place so I do feel for you.

Spied · 11/09/2020 13:44

No.
If we all did this what's the point?

veryvery · 11/09/2020 13:44

Stagger the party? Some come directly after school and then some a bit later when the others have left. Or have 2 parties. Some come one day, some another.

monsterad · 11/09/2020 13:45

@PinkyBrain

Aren’t they under 11 so not counted? Or could you move the party to the garden and have it outdoors?
How are under-11s not counted?
ChaChaCha2012 · 11/09/2020 13:45

I'd do something else with her sister or have half over one night and half another.

This is why the rule is so ridiculous. There's no greater risk of transmission having four people there one day and three the next, than there is seven people at the same time.

Honey, your reasoning is fine, have seven at the party. In the highly unlikely event that the police became aware, they're not going to fine you for this.

Lilybet1980 · 11/09/2020 13:45

@PinkyBrain

Aren’t they under 11 so not counted? Or could you move the party to the garden and have it outdoors?
Age is irrelevant in England. Not sure where the OP is.

OP you answered your question in the first sentence. You’re either comfortable breaking the law or you’re not. But you’re also asking if all her friends parents are also ok with breaking the law. I personally wouldn’t want to put people in a difficult position so if you do plan to go ahead I would ring round individually to discuss before your daughter tells them all it’s definitely on. That way less upset if a parent says no and you only need one to decline before you are legal

DemolitionBarbie · 11/09/2020 13:45

I'd just do it, the timing of the rule introduction is pretty arbitrary. I wouldn't set up a new event like this but if they're all mixing at school, I can't see the difference.

Lilybet1980 · 11/09/2020 13:49

This is why the rule is so ridiculous. There's no greater risk of transmission having four people there one day and three the next, than there is seven people at the same time

Of course there is. They could potentially infect 6 people if they all attend together. 4 people if there are two dinners.

Love51 · 11/09/2020 13:49

You know you can't according to the rules, are you asking if we would do it anyway? They are in a school bubble, I'd just ensure hygiene measures - no blowing out candles on a cake, try to encourage your younger DD not to touch the others.
How does older DD feel about younger DD? Sending her to a friend's would make your party compliant.

Thisismytimetoshine · 11/09/2020 13:50

What does "technically" you can't mean, and how does it differ from No, you bloody can't?
How dim do you have to be not to understand that if 6 is the limit, 7 is too many?!

fruitpastille · 11/09/2020 13:50

Realistically nobody is going to fine you in this situation! You could possibly put dd2 in a different room watching tv so she's not part of the gathering. Take her party food/ cake as a treat.

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