Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

Can we have 7 people at our house for DD’s birthday?

175 replies

Honeyhoneyy · 11/09/2020 13:36

I know technically we can’t, but DD is about to turn 7 and has invited 4 friends for dinner after school on her birthday. They are all in the same bubble at school. She has been really looking forward to it, as have her friends. The trouble is, including her younger sibling and me, that would bring the number to 7. I thought about asking a friend to have DD2 but she would be devastated to miss her sisters birthday tea so the only option I’m left with is for DD to uninvite someone which seems so cruel.

It’s frustrating because she is with these children all day Monday to Friday anyway. I would ensure the house is deep cleaned before hand and after. My husband is a soldier and the kids have just found out he’s deploying in a couple of weeks so he will miss DD’s birthday, and now this limit of 6 has really got DD down in the dumps. She really struggles when her dad is away so I really wanted to make her birthday as good as I possibly can for her.

I totally appreciate there are many far worse situations that other families are in just now and this is trivial in the grand scheme of things but I know to DD, it means a lot.

OP posts:
Dawnlassie · 12/09/2020 21:34

If they are all in the same bubble I cannot see the harm.

IrisPurple · 12/09/2020 21:36

If you ring all the parents to check - it just takes ONE of those to call the police...

solidaritea · 12/09/2020 21:41

@IrisPurple

If you ring all the parents to check - it just takes ONE of those to call the police...
And what will the police do? Honestly, it can't be the case that the police will come out for a kids birthday party that might have 7 people together.
Diddlysquatters · 12/09/2020 21:51

Surely if they felt strongly enough to call the police about it they just wouldn’t come and then there wouldn’t be an issue!

They’re hardly likely to attend the party and alert the police.

Nacreous · 12/09/2020 21:53

Iris surely that parent would then either get fined themselves (because they had still sent their child) or it wouldn't be illegal (because they haven't sent their child so there are only 6).

I think the answer here, unfortunately, is to find somewhere for dd2 to go.

All the rules and frankly the whole Covid malarkey is exhausting, but everything is a marginal gain and if you've got R at say 1.2 and it needs to come down to 1, then it's going to be marginal gains that do that.

Original poster
Honeyhoneyy · 12/09/2020 22:17

I’m back... I have been reading through the thread and have thought long and hard about it and come up with a solution that is within the rules. DD will go ahead with her party but will have 3 other children there instead of 4. The 4th child is going to come the following night, along with his mum and his younger sibling who is DD2’s age, and we will do another little party.

To those of you who said that I should just send DD2 to a play date and that it would be forgotten about the next day, you are way, way off the mark! DD2 is 4 and has been just as excited, if not more excited than DD1 about the birthday celebrations. She is not the type to forget the next day. She can be quite obsessive about things and to send her on a play date would absolutely break her heart.

I’m so happy we seem to have found a solution and I’m very grateful for your helpful replies.

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 12/09/2020 22:53

It’s great you’ve got a solution you’re all happy with - well done.

To those of you who said that I should just send DD2 to a play date and that it would be forgotten about the next day, you are way, way off the mark! DD2 is 4 and has been just as excited, if not more excited than DD1 about the birthday celebrations. She is not the type to forget the next day. She can be quite obsessive about things and to send her on a play date would absolutely break her heart.

I’m just ever so slightly concerned that your DD1’s birthday is dictated by DD2’s emotions/preferences- your solution is all about DD2 getting to be there instead of one of DD1’s friends at the ‘main’ party and then getting to celebrate again with another friend the next day.

I guess to an outside point of view it doesn’t seem like DD1 is the most important in the decision-making here?

I’m sure it will all be great - more celebrations! But maybe reflect on whether it’s a pattern more widely?

Quaagars · 12/09/2020 23:00

@Honeyhoneyy
I’m back... I have been reading through the thread and have thought long and hard about it and come up with a solution that is within the rules. DD will go ahead with her party but will have 3 other children there instead of 4. The 4th child is going to come the following night, along with his mum and his younger sibling who is DD2’s age, and we will do another little party
Sounds like a great compromise

Ginogineli · 12/09/2020 23:26

Oh sorry but that’s awful for the last child

No excuses

1-1 next day doesn’t ccompare to the group together

That’s shit op

Ginogineli · 12/09/2020 23:28

I’m sorry but that’s shit on the last child

Please reconsider

Nikori · 13/09/2020 00:28

I'm glad you found a solution. I hope you all have fun.

katy1213 · 13/09/2020 00:28

I can't imagine that the police will be conducting door to door inquiries to catch you in the act of having one too many at a party!

katy1213 · 13/09/2020 00:37

And, yes - that's a rubbish solution and very mean to fob off the 4th child with a teaparty with his mum. That's not a party and he'll know it.
You could easily break up a nice little group of friends.

unchienandalusia · 13/09/2020 09:07

My DD's birthday party in October. I'd invited 6 girls. I've asked the mums and they are all fine with it. DH is taking DS out for the afternoon. And I've pitched it as fun / a treat for DD that I can't join the party. Dominos pizza will bring the pizza direct to them and I'm staying out of the party. They are all at school together anyway and party will be in a marquee in the garden.

GetUpAgain · 13/09/2020 09:20

OP I think your solution is perfect and the people saying otherwise are incredibly rude! You are within the law, the kids will all have fun at both parties. Cake

Original poster
Honeyhoneyy · 13/09/2020 09:21

I’m just ever so slightly concerned that your DD1’s birthday is dictated by DD2’s emotions/preferences- your solution is all about DD2 getting to be there instead of one of DD1’s friends at the ‘main’ party and then getting to celebrate again with another friend the next day.

I guess to an outside point of view it doesn’t seem like DD1 is the most important in the decision-making here?

I’m sure it will all be great - more celebrations! But maybe reflect on whether it’s a pattern more widely?

I do see your point here and I suppose my post does come across that way however, the whole party is completely planned around DD1’s preferences. It’s just that my younger DD is so excited about it and I would feel bad to send her off somewhere as I know she’d be devastated to miss it.

Also, we are a military family and DH has just found out he’s deploying and is leaving just before DD’s birthday. It’s a difficult time for the girls and so I don’t want to make DD2 feel pushed out of the one thing she’s been looking forward to. DD2’s birthday was in May so she didn’t get to have her birthday party.

OP posts:
notevenat20 · 13/09/2020 09:22

I love that there are 167 messages so far on the vexing question of which numbers are bigger than six :)

Original poster
Honeyhoneyy · 13/09/2020 09:24

Sorry, the first 3 paragraphs should be bold 🙈

OP posts:
Original poster
Honeyhoneyy · 13/09/2020 09:28

I appreciate the feedback on the new arrangement. I’ll have a think about a plan B.

OP posts:
Greenmarmalade · 13/09/2020 20:19

Do whatever YOU feel is best. I would stick to the original plan, and not worry for a moment.

Greenmarmalade · 13/09/2020 20:20

I would feel exactly the same about siblings coming too.

Ginogineli · 14/09/2020 17:24

Fancy a paint balling party? Can have over 6 there!

MarcelineMissouri · 14/09/2020 17:47

@Ginogineli

Fancy a paint balling party? Can have over 6 there!
Or pheasant shooting......
Splendidseptember · 14/09/2020 18:04

Op your All in a bubble (much good bubbles will do us anyway) so enjoy the party, good solution!!

Lweji · 15/09/2020 15:30

I agree that you should make it into a hunting party. You could even have the whole class.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread