Can we have 7 people at our house for DD’s birthday?

[Honeyhoneyy]

I know technically we can’t, but DD is about to turn 7 and has invited 4 friends for dinner after school on her birthday. They are all in the same bubble at school. She has been really looking forward to it, as have her friends. The trouble is, including her younger sibling and me, that would bring the number to 7. I thought about asking a friend to have DD2 but she would be devastated to miss her sisters birthday tea so the only option I’m left with is for DD to uninvite someone which seems so cruel.

It’s frustrating because she is with these children all day Monday to Friday anyway. I would ensure the house is deep cleaned before hand and after. My husband is a soldier and the kids have just found out he’s deploying in a couple of weeks so he will miss DD’s birthday, and now this limit of 6 has really got DD down in the dumps. She really struggles when her dad is away so I really wanted to make her birthday as good as I possibly can for her.

I totally appreciate there are many far worse situations that other families are in just now and this is trivial in the grand scheme of things but I know to DD, it means a lot.

@Juststopswimming

Yes I take your point they need to draw the line somewhere and not have crazy complex laws (although I think they couldve excluded children under 12 like in scotland to accommodate this sort of scenario) but I am just outlying the insanity of the rule in this instance. And for this, I would weigh up the risks and would chose to break the law and I'm not ashamed to admit that! Just like sometimes I choose to drive at 61mph.

Scotland is two households only though so in this instance only one friend could be invited.

Well, no, but I do think it's silly that people are counted for this purpose as individuals and not as households or bubbles. I guess in terms of getting people round a restaurant table, for example, the fewer the better, but for something at someone's house or in a park it really doesn't make sense.

@Derbygerbil poor analogies.

Anyway, the problem is as per ErinBrockovich pointed out. It takes one parent to snitch and the OP will get in trouble.

We have exactly the same situation at the end of Sept. Four of us plus three friends equals seven.

Had to not invite one child.

So true @Juststopswimming

I’d do it for sure!

For the people saying that you could do it in Scotland because kids under 12 don't count, that's wrong. Kids under 12 don't count towards the max of 6 people, but they still count towards the household count of 2 max. The idea is to reduce mixing households. So makes family Christmas easier but not a kids party.

This has always been against the guidelines. Why did you arrange with so many people in the first place?

@Thisismytimetoshine

No wonder we're in the state we're in... half the dimwits on the thread don't understand that 7 is more than 6, and the ones that can count assume it's body count per fucking room, not household. What is wrong with you?!!

and what is wrong with you?? do you always abide by the law? Have you never driven a mile above the speed limit?

The OP has outlined a specific scenario where the rule is ridiculous. Yes everyone is aware that 7 is not 6, but in this instance, many people would choose to ignore the law.

If the OPs kid is anything like mine then they have had a fucking shitty year, and if everyone at the party is happy to break the law then crack on I say. Notwithstanding all of that, nothing will be materially different from an infection/public health point of view if the 5 kids go to the party or dont, even if one of them does have covid (which is overwhelmingly unlikely) since they're all at school together anyway!

see, yes they are all in a bubble at school but let's say I'm in a work bubble with 10 people. Does that mean they can all come round to my house for a party? No.
It is frustrating that the government decided on this rule to simplify things but already people have come up with loads of examples which seem perfectly sensible but don't fit the rule.
The problem is if everyone decides the rules don't apply to them then cases will continue to rise.
You might find one of the other parents doesn't want to break the rules and personally I would feel uncomfortable asking them to unless they were close friends who I could discuss it openly with easily.

I’d do it xx

Forget to count yourself

It's a ridiculous rule and it seems many people have decided not to abide by it. I really wouldn't be surprised if the government u-turned on this. However, the UK is about to hit a second wave and things are going to get bad again, so if it were up to me, I'd probably just cancel the party and promise to do something when things are better. It sucks for everyone, but it's the way the world is at the moment.

I'd have it, but would warn the parents of the situation. You don't want to end up having problems with them finding out about it at the last minute. One might decide that 7 isn't a good idea and pull out, which would make it to 6, even.

You can make it as safe as possible by opening up windows and doors all over the house or having it outside and staying as much as possible away from them.

This type of blank rule is silly, as they are in the same bubble at school anyway, as you pointed out.

I hope she enjoys herself.

No

The rule aims to limit big gatherings. If you asked any epidemiologist if having the occasional 7 instead of 6 is OK, they'd probably reply that 6 was chosen because most people will push it a bit anyway and end up being within safe limits.
Like speed limits in most roads.

@Nikori

What do you suggest then as the guidelines where being ignored, hence making it the law

The number has to be somewhere, and as guests, within the home or outdoors still have to SD then 6 is probably the max most homes could cater to

Your youngest DD is not in the same bubble, I would try and find someone to have her for the time of the party, and then do a treat with the 2 of them

[quote Derbygerbil]@Juststopswimming

I see your point, but the alternatives are either have no rules at all (which I know some people would love, but would end in disaster in my opinion), or have the more complicated and confusing rules that people loved to moan about, and which ultimately become impossible to apply. There’s no perfect way of doing this, and whereas arguably there are alternatives to the “rule of six” that may be superior, there is easy answer.

Ultimately, with rules, there are always inconsistencies that can be made to make all sorts of rules appear ridiculous.

For instance, if I drive at 31 mph along my wide and clear suburban road with excellent line of sight, it’s illegal! Yet if I drive at 59 mph along a narrow single track road with poor lines of sight, it’s legal! Where’s the sense in that!

If I drank 2 bottles of whisky and 80 cigarettes in a day, legal! If I had a puff of someone’s spliff, illegal!

It’s easy to tear these things apart... much harder to give an alternative that actually works better.[/quote]
ABSOLUTE SENSE BEING MADE HERE! Thank you!

Worst case, send the cake to the school.
And have a family only gathering at home.

@ineedaholidaynow

Your youngest DD is not in the same bubble, I would try and find someone to have her for the time of the party, and then do a treat with the 2 of them

I agree with this-unless the bday girl would rather have one less friend & her sister there?

I don't think it's fair to have to have one less friend & include sibling.

I would not have it and if I was one of the parents I'd be grateful it was cancelled, because right now covid rates are rising. Your dd and friends have been mixing all week, but the friends have not been mixing with you and your dd2.

If you or your dd2 are unknowingly infectious, then the party is an extra opportunity for you to pass the virus directly to the visiting friends, who otherwise would only be at risk indirectly via your dd. Equally if any of the party guests are unknowingly infectious, then the party is an extra chance for the virus to spread to your and your dd2 who otherwise would only be at risk indirectly via your dd.

So the fact that your dd and friends are mixing anyway doesn't make this no more dangerous than school, because of you and your dd2 being there too. There are extra connections being made between your family and the party guests and the virus could spread either way along those connections.

Another way of looking at the fact that your dd is mixing with her friends at school anyway would be to say that as that's the case, why does she need them to come after school for an extra get together? Parties are nice but we're not talking about kids who aren't getting to see each other any other way. If they're old enough to go to school they're old enough to understand that laws matter and we don't break them for less than very serious reasons.

None of that reasoning might make any difference to you, and in case it doesn't - ventilation is as important as handwashing and cleaning surfaces. If you do do this, being outside or in a very well ventilated large room will make it a bit less risky than it would be otherwise.

If you do do this, being outside or in a very well ventilated large room will make it a bit less risky than it would be otherwise.

A lot less.

Make your own judgement about benefits vs risks op. Personally I haven't and won't be canceling gatherings of 7 people in my own home.

It’s not really about it being ‘safe’ to be in a bubble at school and then ‘not safe’ at the party.

It isn’t about individual risk and safety at all. It’s basically that we have so much ‘social contact’ budget as a society before exponential growth would take off again. The government is choosing to ‘spend’ social contact budget on schools, work, organised activities.