Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Original poster

Can we have 7 people at our house for DD’s birthday?

175 replies

Honeyhoneyy · 11/09/2020 13:36

I know technically we can’t, but DD is about to turn 7 and has invited 4 friends for dinner after school on her birthday. They are all in the same bubble at school. She has been really looking forward to it, as have her friends. The trouble is, including her younger sibling and me, that would bring the number to 7. I thought about asking a friend to have DD2 but she would be devastated to miss her sisters birthday tea so the only option I’m left with is for DD to uninvite someone which seems so cruel.

It’s frustrating because she is with these children all day Monday to Friday anyway. I would ensure the house is deep cleaned before hand and after. My husband is a soldier and the kids have just found out he’s deploying in a couple of weeks so he will miss DD’s birthday, and now this limit of 6 has really got DD down in the dumps. She really struggles when her dad is away so I really wanted to make her birthday as good as I possibly can for her.

I totally appreciate there are many far worse situations that other families are in just now and this is trivial in the grand scheme of things but I know to DD, it means a lot.

OP posts:

ChanceChanceChance · 12/09/2020 07:26

We each individual get to decide who we are and what we do.

I wouldn't personally be willing to breach these new laws.

I'm not saying I don't get frustrated with some of the rules, but in this situation I'd probably want to teach my children we sometimes give up things for the greater good.

It feels a hard time to do that though as it does feel futile and like no one else is, but the alternative, of teaching my children we can ignore public health law for a party, doesn't sit well with me.

Marmozet · 12/09/2020 07:38

Oh for gods sake of course you can't!

LastDaysOfSummer · 12/09/2020 08:40

No you should not be doing this

whiteroseredrose · 12/09/2020 08:44

As a PP said I'd let the parents know that DD2 will be there (unless you can find someone to look after her) so the number will be 7. Let them decide if they are happy to go ahead.

I think that the rules are there to keep people safe but aren't always logical.

In Trafford I can legally sit right opposite my DM outside a cafe surrounded by a load of strangers to have a coffee together but it's illegal to sit 3m from her in her garden.

To me our safety is paramount. Neither really of us goes anywhere other than for a weekly supermarket shop. We choose the safer option - keep a good distance between us in her garden.

Greenmarmalade · 12/09/2020 08:45

Yes. The children are all mixing closely at school and sharing toilets and eating spaces already, so you are not increasing the risk of infection between households at all.

They are just guidelines. You need to use critical thinking and do your own risk assessment when considering these things.

If pp who think you’re being unreasonable saw how much contact kids get with each other at school, they might change their minds!

Do it and don’t feel bad!

Greenmarmalade · 12/09/2020 08:47

@ChanceChanceChance I see your point, but do you really think the op is doing anything of real value for the ‘greater good’ if she has 6 rather than 7 guests, given the full context?

SephrinaX · 12/09/2020 08:48

The law says you can't, doesn't matter all the reasons you come up with to justify it.

Will you be caught? Probably not, but It's up to you whether you're comfortable breaking it or not. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Timeforanotherusername · 12/09/2020 08:52

That's a tough one.

I'm all for following the law and I will donitnas much as I can, but you either need to cancel it all or go ahead with the 4 friends. You can't uninvite 1.

SephrinaX · 12/09/2020 08:52

@Greenmarmalade

Yes. The children are all mixing closely at school and sharing toilets and eating spaces already, so you are not increasing the risk of infection between households at all.

They are just guidelines. You need to use critical thinking and do your own risk assessment when considering these things.

If pp who think you’re being unreasonable saw how much contact kids get with each other at school, they might change their minds!

Do it and don’t feel bad!

As of Monday it not just guidelines any more, it law.

NerrSnerr · 12/09/2020 09:03

hey are just guidelines.
From Monday it's law. The OP needs to make the decision about whether she's going to break the law or not.

Nikori · 12/09/2020 14:20

Shock, horror, it seems the government have u-turned already and now it excludes those under 12. So, that's good news for the OP!

MNnicknameforCVthreads · 12/09/2020 14:21

@Nikori

Shock, horror, it seems the government have u-turned already and now it excludes those under 12. So, that's good news for the OP!

Can you provide a source for this?

Nikori · 12/09/2020 14:23

Oops, sorry. They said they won't u-turn. Sorry, it's been a long day.

MNnicknameforCVthreads · 12/09/2020 14:23

In answer to the OP, based on current understanding, no you can’t

NoSquirrels · 12/09/2020 14:28

I thought about asking a friend to have DD2 but she would be devastated to miss her sisters birthday tea so the only option I’m left with is for DD to uninvite someone which seems so cruel.

If you don’t want to break the law, get DD2 a play date elsewhere l, and have a second family birthday celebration as well as the school friends one. Extended celebration, hooray!

Or if you’re OK with ignoring the rule of 6, check with the other parents and do as you decide.

There isn’t a way to make less than 6 without uninviting a child, and I’d certainly uninvited the sibling over a school friend in this scenario.

ThePlantsitter · 12/09/2020 14:30

In this instance I'd be breaking the law in a very specific and limited way and having the 7.

SunbathingDragon · 12/09/2020 14:31

If you are in England, which I am assuming you are since you’ve posted then no you can’t.

Sort out something for your DD2 to be doing elsewhere and tell her that you will be doing something extra with her and DD1 as an additional present to make up for it. Then you have six in your group which is fine.

SunbathingDragon · 12/09/2020 14:32

I thought about asking a friend to have DD2 but she would be devastated to miss her sisters birthday tea so the only option I’m left with is for DD to uninvite someone which seems so cruel.

What’s cruel is to intentionally stop your daughter from having her birthday party because you don’t want to get someone to look after your younger daughter when it isn’t her birthday.

Ginogineli · 12/09/2020 19:10

Op worst that can happen is they’ll turn up and tel people to leave
That’s all
Fines are for refusal - dh is police

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 12/09/2020 19:12

I’d go ahead.

33goingon64 · 12/09/2020 19:27

I'm actually amazed at the number of people on here saying go ahead. Have you considered what will happen if the majority have that attitude and ignore the law? It doesn't matter whether you think it makes sense or not - just do it and maybe fewer people will fall seriously ill.

ViciousJackdaw · 12/09/2020 20:30

I thought about asking a friend to have DD2 but she would be devastated to miss her sisters birthday tea

Devastated? How old is she? No more than 4 I'd wager. It would all be forgotten about the next day...

KitKatastrophe · 12/09/2020 20:34

I definitely would OP.

The rules are nonsensical in this instance. They are together all day Monday to Friday, being together on Saturday as well doesn't increase anyone's risk level.

The only purpose of these rules is to reduce spread of Covid. Your party would not affect spread of covid if you made it 6 instead of 7, so there is no point in doing so.